nobody gives a damn either way

[moontasticmel]

It's still my life, even if I don't like it,
don't want to look at it,
feel it,
smell it,
all of it is mine anyways.

Which would be a good ol' damn-ass grand thing to ponder as a dearth wealth of teeming bacterial possibility if I wasn't me and could settle for one room with the contents of one Melody and one giant echoing ghost. did you see

Comments

[dyspayre]

sorry you guys split up, you seemed very good and happy together.. maybe you can be again..

[moontasticmel]

I'm sorry too, but it was something that was somehow forced to happen, so my quaky status is basically me just trying to stop reeling and somehow recover. The anxiety seems endless, a lot of me just doesn't know how to live without the happiness we made, and the other part just knows I don't deserve it anymore.

I would hope it would be meant to be in any way possible, but that facts are just against it. Maybe the most depressing realization ever.

I'm a mood-lifter, ain't I?

[dyspayre]

bout as bad as me. mine took off with a married guy. now every inch of this blasted town that i took her to, or hung out at 3 am, just rings in my heart how utterly disposable i was.

i would love to go to the park at 3 or 4 am now, and chill, but i see her there in the dark, and remember what we did and things we talked about and fun times, and it makes me sick i can't just get over myself.. or her..

i feel ya more than most darlin... aint none of it easy as they say it is.. and after a while the scars just won't let the wounds heal.

[moontasticmel]

'Mine' was a married guy when we met for the second time (long story) and he ended up getting divorced in large part to be with me...that has always meant a lot in terms of guilt and also the intensity of things. He has always managed to be the only person to make me feel like treasure and trash in very unconscious and ingenious ways.

I'm sorry there was an incidence of taking off, and I'm sorry things are hard to surmount. For both of us, it makes me sad.

BLAH, HUH?

[flowershoes]

I was think about you the other day, wondering where you've been.

I hope everything works out for you darling ♥

[moontasticmel]

Awesome, I'm contained in thoughts ALONGSIDE the fabric of the universe.

Thanks. I hope it just works. I can't handle any more bullshit, my nature is tenuous and strained - bring on the xanax! Or opium.