A review of 2010.
1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
- Had a full-time, "real" job with benefits.
- Had about 4 part time jobs at once.
- Was on a "professional" run crew, for a Stravinski puppet show.
- Signed my first (and maybe only) contract as a freelance theatrical designer.
- Felt really compelled to toss aside anxieties of who I "used to be" in order to make room for who I want to be, and who I am on my way to becoming.
- Visited LA, and fell head-over-heels in love with it!!
- GRADUATED COLLEGE. Earned a bachelor's degree.
- Realized that I don't really want to do anything remotely related to my bachelor's degree.
- Had real trouble with the police, the night of DT Prom. Oy.
- Felt financially independent, aside from my student loans.
- Felt distant from some of my best friends, because of actual distance and also because of the pressures of "real life."
- Speaking of real life, this was the first year that I've felt like an adult. In a bad way. In a tired, stressed, hermit-ish, responsibility-focused way. YUCK!
- ...On the other hand, I also felt happy being hermit-ish, on occasion. It's always been very unlike me to want to stay at home, but I've really loved having the time to paint, craft, draw, and play music, and the only reason I've had time to do all of that is because I stay at home most nights and do that.
- Felt like a mentor to somebody, and felt really good about it. Cori and I have always had a good relationship, but recently I've realized that nothing makes me happier than being able to help her grow into the intelligent, sassy, funny, and driven girl she is.
- Accepted my sister for who she is. I've always loved her, obviously, but I've spent a lot of time and energy being frustrated with her because I've never understood her or her actions. I think I'm starting to, and I think that's a good thing, whether or not I agree with everything she says or does.
- Put myself out there on dates--REALLY put myself out there, and did not hold back to try to impress or please others.
- Found somebody who loves every single part of me, who I can actually see myself spending the rest of my life with. Someone who I am so head-over-heels in love with that I'm not even scared or worried to admit that. Someone who I am always excited to see, who encourages and supports me in everything I do, who is easily becoming my best friend and the sweetest boyfriend I've ever had. I can't wait to have adventures with him for a long, long time.
- Started my own personal art project and FINISHED IT. I have more unfinished projects and wish-lists of projects laying around than I could ever count, and for once I started and finished one that I am extremely proud of.
- Had a piece of my own artwork presented in a gallery. Look for my sketchbook in the Brooklyn Art Library, or whenever the exhibit comes to a city near you! :)
- Dressed up in a couples costume on Halloween (Ms. Pacman and the red pacman ghost).
- Visited Portland, ME.
- Played with a hedgehog. Fell in love with a hedgehog. Was named godmother of a hedgehog.
- LEARNED HOW TO RIDE A BIKE. Seriously, I did! At the arboretum in JP.
- Met an expert in Cryptozoology.
- Met an acrobat from Montreal who looks exactly like Erica.
- Watched porn for my own enjoyment and not just as a joke. But really. I hope nobody expected this to end on a sappy or serious note.
2. Did you keep your New Year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Some resolutions from 2010:
- "To stop just SAYING that I'm "focusing on me," focusing on my self-improvement and doing exactly what I want to do, and ACTUALLY DO IT. I spend so much of my time wallowing and feeling sorry for myself because of my lack of significant other, and I've NEVER, EVER wanted to be that girl." ***I think I conquered this, and pretty successfully, too. I'm on my way, anyway.
- "To be more self-reliant, economically speaking" ***Yup! Not too shabby.
- "To GRADUATE!!!!" ***Check and check.
- "To travel, even if it's just for one week, no matter what the 'inconveniences' are" ***LA and Maine definitely count.
- "To keep making art, just for myself" ***Somewhat. I'm getting a lot better at this.
- "To sing, for myself AND for other people again" ***I sang all week in LA with Joe, I sang with Maria's friends, and I started singing around the house/in the shower a lot when I met Tim. And I'm planning to make a uke album this year!
- "To go out more, and meet people outside of Emerson/my department/this crazy life" ***Kinda sorta?
- "To walk down the street positively. No more of Joe's 'sad walker'" ***I've heard from people that see me on he street and on the T that I definitely am still a sad walker, if not an angry walker. So, I'll say no.
- "To stop being attracted to my gay best friend." ***Yup! It helped that he got a lot gayer, and got a boyfriend, but I worked hard on that one.
- "To keep my problems mine, and to keep other people's problems their own. To not feel so empathetically for other people that I worry myself sick over how they're handling their problems. I've made that separation plenty of times before. I know I can do that." ***It's been so long that I've actually forgotten what this was about...so I guess I must have accomplished this?
- "To keep having FUN with whatever I'm doing. And if I'm not having fun, re-assess the situation and decide from there." ***I'm re-assessing, all right.
- "To stop taking life TOO seriously. That's really not as necessary as it feels right now." ***Oh gosh, no!! I've actually become worse at this. Oh dear.
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Nope.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
No, thankfully.
5. What countries did you visit?
Just this one, sadly. I need to fix this for next year, I've had the same answer for three years in a row now. At least.
6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you didn't have in 2010?
A new direction in life (career-wise), a much better balance of fun, work, and art-making, and time to travel.
7. What date(s) from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
April 17th, of course, for the day that I met Tim. Graduation day. Halloween. New Year's at my house and Kat's house.
8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Graduating, finishing my sketchbook, the three shows I survived this summer and landing my "real job."
9. What was your biggest failure?
Not spending enough time with my best friends, and making work too high of a priority. I understand that it's important in order to make a living, but I'm letting it completely control the rest of my life.
10. Did you suffer any illness or injury?
No, thankfully. Just the usual cold.
11. What was the best thing you bought?
A bed frame. Hahaha. But seriously...
12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
Brian M. P. Dudley. He has been the truest and most amazing friend this year, and I've been lucky to have him to count on. AND, he has had to slowly pick himself up from the depths of heartbreak, all the while doing his damn best to make it through a job that he loathes. I have to give him props for staying content through all of that and making the best of things. I also have to commend Cori, for turning out to be the most well-adjusted teenager with two busted parents ever to walk the face of this earth. She has such a level head on her shoulders, and she has fun with her friends but also stays focused on her future and bettering her life. I just love her so much, and I'm so proud of her!
13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Cori's parents and step-mother. My own, on occasion, for not having my priorities in check.
14. Where did most of your money go?
Rent, utilities, food, and bus fare from NH. Also, probably clothes.
15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Timothy Alan Mahoney. Having this wonderful apartment in Davis Square. Different concerts and shows. Going to Wells, LA, Portland, and home again. Spending Christmas and Thanksgiving with my family. My sketchbook and it's approaching tour. The Nintendo DS my sister gave me for graduation.
16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
"The Book of Love," the Kristina Blanchflower version.
"First Person" or "Last Person" - Jenny Owen Youngs
"Giving Up" - Ingrid Michaelson
"Don't Rain On My Parade" - Barbara Streisand
"Losin' Yo Head" - Monsters of Folk
"I Feel the Blues Movin' In" - Dolly Parton, Linda Ronstadt, Emmylou Harris
"Fitz & Dizzy Spells" - Andrew Bird
"You Are What You Love" - Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins
"Why Do You Let Me Stay Here?" - She & Him
"Alive With the Glory of Love" - Say Anything
"First Day of My Life" - Bright Eyes
"Swimmers" - Broken Social Scene
"Anxious Arms" - The Jealous Sound
"I Saw Lightning" - Telekinesis
The entire mix that Tim made me, that made my whole summer so bright and hopeful. :)
17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
happier or sadder? Happier--MUCH.
thinner or fatter? Thinner, maybe. It's hard to tell, but I've been told I look thinner.
richer or poorer? Both. I have a savings account, which is great, but I'm not making as much as I'd like to be
18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Made the time to see people who are important to me.
19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
WORK.
20. How will you be spending Christmas?
I did that about a month ago, with my family at home.
21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
Harder than I ever have before. :)
22. What was your favorite TV program?
30 Rock, Parks & Recreation, pretty much anything on NBC on Thursday nights. Also, LOST!!! I finally finished!
23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No, I don't think so. I don't spend a lot of time hating people. I also can't think of anyone who's wronged me THAT badly this past year to deserve that, and I can't think of anyone.
24. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Oh gosh.......Ingrid Michaelson? I listen to her almost non-stop.
25. What did you want and get?
A boyfriend, to fall in love, a nice apartment, to be financially independent (mostly), to get a full-time job, a new computer that doesn't die all the time...quite a lot! I feel a little spoiled.
26. What did you want and not get?
To take an art class at the SMFA. To go to the Kennedy Center last spring. A car.
27. What were your favorite films of this year?
Oh geeze...probably "Scott Pilgrim vs. the World," "Despicable Me," "Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Pt. 1," ...so basically I'm 12. "Black Swan" was incredible, too, but I can never (and don't ever want to) watch it again. I'm sure I'm forgetting something.
28. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I went to the Friendly Toast with some close friends, and I turned 23. It was lovely. :)
29. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
I dunno, I feel pretty good about it. I do wish that I'd spent less time stressing out about what I'm going to do with my life, because I'm still doing a lot of that and I didn't need to worry as much as I did this summer. I have more than enough time to figure it out, and I don't have any money to go back to school for anything right now, so why stress about it?
30. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
What concept is this? Fashion? Hah. Other than a lot of shop clothes (paint-covered jeans and goofy t-shirts), I have an incredible amount of dresses that I never get a chance to wear. I'm more than a little bit obsessed with Anthropologie.
31. What kept you sane?
Again, I owe a lot of that to Brian Dudley. I also owe a lot of that to my mother, to Tim, and to my hobbies.
32. What was the best book you read?
I LOVED "Spook" by Mary Roach. Love, love, love, loved it. I also read "Maus," and "Curious Incident of the Dog in the Nighttime" which I really enjoyed. I'm starting to love non-fiction books, especially if the author is witty and has a unique perspective.
33.Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
I want to be Natalie Portman and also make out with her. Is that possible? Same goes for Ingrid Michaelson.
34. Who did you miss?
Erica. Katherine. Jim. My family. I still miss all of those people.
35. Who was the best new person you met?
I feel like it's cheating to say Tim, so I'll say some other people too. Brian's boy thing Christopher is a wonderful human being. I'm also really loving the company of Weston, Brittany, Darby, and Nikki at work. They all have an amazing sense of humor, and a calm nature that keeps stress levels low even when things are hard. We have a nice sense of camaraderie. And also a fake band, Tyrannosaurus Wes.
36. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010:
This year I learned to stand by myself, to let myself choose who or what I want to be regardless of who I've been or what I've been doing, and to not feel bad about any decisions I made that didn't work out the way I thought they would. Every experience counts for something. I learned to be open to any and all possibilities ahead of me, and I am slowly learning to be excited about all of the unknown instead of stress about it more than is necessary. I learned what it means to be in love with somebody, to really be in it for the long run and not to have one foot out the door at all times. I learned to trust someone with my heart, which I haven't really done since I was 17. I learned to be self-reliant, but I've also learned that being self-reliant becomes tiresome and lonely when I don't spend enough time with the people I love.
And also, my resolutions for this year:
1. Make time for the people who are important to me, above all else.
2. Find a 9-5 job that will give me the time and resources I need to make art on my own time, and to still have a social life.
3. Visit a different country. ANY country at all.
4. Stop being such a serious hermit all the time. Go out with friends at least once a week. See a movie. Have a drink. I'm 23, for christ's sake, not 40!!! And even when I am 40, I hope I'm getting out of the house more than I do now.
5. Apply for a volunteer position with the MSPCA and the Animal Rescue League. Spend 4-6 hours every week with animals.
6. Sing more.
7. Go to the gym every week. Not with any weight-loss goal, but because I feel really good when I do.
8. Spend another amazing year with Tim. :)