Dark Side of the Moon -- Part Ia (Oz/Xander)
Once upon a time there was the year_of_oz with monthly ficathons. Way back in June, I was assigned to write a fic for glossing for the Oz/Xander ficathon. There was much nervousness on my part and then a big fat plot bunny bit me in the ass. So I started writing. Then real life got in the way and I was nowhere near finished. I'm still not really finished, because there's so much to write here. But if I wait until it's all done, gloss will never get her fic.
So here's Part Ia. I should have Part Ib up later this week and more to come as soon as possible. I'm gonna work my beta's ass off before she leaves for California on Friday. She's going to hate me, but I'm babysitting her bunnies, so she owes me. *g*
Title: Dark Side of the Moon
Pairing: Oz/Xander
Written for the Oz/Xander ficathon at year_of_oz for glossing who requested good sex and mutual Giles-admiration and did not want 'stupid!Xander'. I didn't get to the good sex in this part, but it is coming. Hang in there. I'm predicting somewhere between 3 or 4 parts total for the story.
Rating: PG for now, hard R or NC-17 eventually
Beta: Mucho thanks to the amazing silvertedy for helping me write what I actually want to write when I don't always initially say it the way I mean to. I don't know how you read my mind, sweetie, but keep it up. Please.
Dark Side of the Moon
Part Ia
Xander heard a car pull up in the drive and went to front door, opening it just before Oz had a chance to knock. “Oz, hey. How was the trip?”
“Xander?”
“In the flesh.”
“I'm supposed to be at Giles’ place.”
Xander nodded. “Yep.”
“Oh.”
“He didn't tell you I live with him?”
Oz's eyebrows went up.
“Well, not live with him live with him. He's just letting me stay here for a while. I needed a little ... time to clear my head.” Xander paused for a moment, lost in thought, then looked up at Oz again. “Sorry. Come on in. Giles went into town, but he should be back soon ... Let me show you your room.”
Oz smiled and nodded his assent.
Xander reached for one of Oz's bags and led him into the foyer and then up the stairs. “This is Giles' room.” He pointed to the first door on the right. “Bathroom.” First on the left. “Me.” Second door on the left. “And you.” Right across from Xander.
The room was small -- a single bed and desk, but more than Oz had had to call home in years.
“Sorry it's so small. I grabbed the larger guest room when I got here a few weeks ago.”
“It's fine.” Oz moved to the window and drew the curtain aside to reveal an amazing view of the property. He turned back to Xander, “I'm gonna go explore.”
“Uh, sure. Want some company? I could show you the stables, the orchard,...”
“No ... thanks. Just need to get out and move around a bit.”
“Sure.” Xander turned and moved to the door then stopped. “Turn right at the bottom of the stairs, the kitchen's down the hall directly below this room. There's a back door there.”
“Thanks.” Xander left and Oz remained for a few minutes before heading down to the kitchen.
***
The back door was right where Xander had said it would be. Oz had been traveling for 3 days and longed for the chance to let go and be free. He'd spent all that travel time surrounded by people and was desperate for a bit of alone time. He wasn’t used to being around so many humans at once anymore. The press of bodies, the scent of flesh, had been closing in on him. He was just one day away from the full moon and despite his control, he was feeling overwhelmed. He needed to let the wolf out now before it emerged on its own.
Oz stepped outside and breathed in the fresh country air. Giles enticed him here with the promise of 50 acres of private land where he could run free. He'd been assured that there would be no hunters. Of course, it didn’t hurt that the Council also was paying him.
He sat on the back porch and removed his shoes then stood up and stripped out of his clothes. Free of these, he hopped down the steps and ran toward the trees, changing as he moved. Within 50 yards of the house Oz was a wolf. He ran all over the property, letting go of stress and allowing exhaustion to overcome him before returning to the house.
As he approached, he saw Xander sitting on the porch steps sipping a beer. Gone was the open, welcoming smile. Now he looked nervous and anxiety was clear on his face. Oz shifted back to human as he walked over to his clothes and dressed. Xander stared at him and Oz heard the hesitation in his words when he finally spoke.
“I ... uh ... I didn't realize ... I mean ... it's not ...”
“Full moon?”
“Yeah.”
“Don't need the moon to change. Don't need to change with the moon.” Oz pulled on his t-shirt and then joined Xander on the steps. “Does it bother you? My being a wolf... running free?”
Xander picked at the label on his beer bottle for several minutes, clearly uncertain about something. Oz wasn’t sure what. Finally Xander turned to Oz but dropped his gaze. “I don't know. I mean ... I've seen it before. But that was different. You were in the library cage ... You weren't running around loose ...”
Oz smiled. He had some fond memories of that library cage -- Willow bringing him breakfast in the morning, Giles singing softly as he shelved books, even Xander babbling to himself not realizing Oz understood him -- but he was happy he didn't need such restraints anymore. After his last trip to Sunnydale and his capture by the Initiative, Oz had worked hard to reconcile the wolf with his human self. He was whole now and it had changed everything. “That was a long time ago. A lot's changed. I've changed.” He leaned back against the porch frame. “Do you trust me, Xander?”
There was that hesitation again. Oz saw him start to say “no,” then catch himself. “Honestly?”
Nod.
“I don't know. It's been a long time. And I've changed a lot too.”
Oz closed his eyes and breathed. He wondered at the intensity of the fear he smelled rolling off of Xander. That was unexpected. The trust issue was not. He was used to it, even among the few he allowed to get close and even after all of this time. That was why he guarded the wolf so carefully.
And why, if he'd known Xander would be here, at least as he was now, he might have thought twice about coming. But Giles had offered him a job and a place to stay for as long as he wanted. There was a slayer who'd been turned; she needed someone to help her learn to control the wolf. Giles also had mentioned that there might be someone else, but he'd been vague on the details and Oz had never been one to press. He'd only learned that the Council was waiting for the full moon to be sure. In the meantime, Oz was here and he'd committed to helping Giles. So, whatever had Xander tied up in knots, he needed to work around it. “Fair enough.” He looked out over the acres of green before them. “Can I trust you?”
Caught off guard, Xander responded without thinking, “I'm not some mons--” He stopped himself with an awkward, pained laugh. “Hey, you know me. I'm just a regular guy.”
“Do you think of me as a monster, Xander?” Xander said nothing, but Oz read the shame on his face before he ducked his head. “The last person I trusted sold me out to poachers. Next time I go out to run, am I going to come back?”
Xander's head snapped up. “Jesus, Oz!” Oz could see that his suggestion genuinely shocked the other young man. “We're friends ...” He sighed and looked up at the darkening sky. Oz followed his gaze. “It's not like that,” he whispered.
“Good.” Oz stood up and walked inside.
***
Xander had spent the last few weeks at Giles' trying to regain a little perspective and put the pain of his most recent travels behind him. He'd brought in a werewolf slayer, Lorna, and been bitten for his efforts. The full moon was just a day away and he had every reason to expect that he was going to spend three nights a month for the rest of his life in a cage.
He was angry. He'd been angry. But really he was just afraid. He'd called Oz a monster and he knew that had hurt him. It was unfair. He hadn’t thought of vampires, demons, and other creatures as monsters in a long time. Hell, he'd spent the last decade surrounded by them -- befriending them, dating them, living with them even. Spike and Anya. Clem. Oz. And there was Cordelia, who'd been a monster but not a demon when he'd dated her and later, apparently, stopped being a monster and became part demon. Which made some weird kind of sense actually.... Not to be outdone by Inca mummy girl, the bug teacher, and Faith in her crazy days (not technically a demon, but ...). No, demons weren't his problem. At least not those kind.
Seeing Oz running free made Xander wonder if maybe he didn't have to live in a cage; if maybe things would be okay. And there was always a chance that he wouldn't turn at all. At least not into a werewolf. He didn't like what all of this had turned him into already.
Whatever the case, he owed Oz an explanation, or at least an apology.
As he rose and entered the house, Xander realized he'd been outside for over an hour since Oz had gone inside. He'd thought a lot about his Council work, the often horrific, often beautiful things he'd seen while traveling. What would happen to him if he did turn? Giles had assured him there'd still be a job for him, but he wasn't sure he wanted it anymore. He'd been dealing with the supernatural since he was fifteen years old. Maybe it was time for a career change. The last year -- traveling around the world looking for slayers -- had been hard. He wasn’t sure how much more he really wanted or needed to see.
Xander entered the kitchen and moved toward the living room. He could hear Giles. “Give him some time, Oz. He's been through a lot since Sunnydale. I'll talk to him if you like, there's nothing for you to worry about here. You needn't be afraid.”
“Hey.” Oz and Giles looked up at him as he stood in the doorway. “I'm sorry about earlier.”
Oz nodded.
“I ... I've ... there's a lot on my mind. But Giles is right. You don't need to worry.”
Oz nodded again, but remained silent. Xander watched him fingering a string of beads in his left hand. “And ... I'm sorry I ... called you a monster. I didn't mean it.”
Another nod.
“I'll see you tomorrow,” he mumbled as he turned to leave the room.
“Xander.” Giles voice was soft. He'd been nothing but generous to Xander since his arrival.
“Yeah?” Xander paused and turned back slightly.
“Will you be joining us for dinner?”
“Not so hungry tonight, Giles. I'm just going to head to bed.”
“All right. Good night then.”
“Night, Xan.” Xander looked up at Oz, surprised to find him smiling shyly.
“Night, Oz.”
To be continued...
So here's Part Ia. I should have Part Ib up later this week and more to come as soon as possible. I'm gonna work my beta's ass off before she leaves for California on Friday. She's going to hate me, but I'm babysitting her bunnies, so she owes me. *g*
Title: Dark Side of the Moon
Pairing: Oz/Xander
Written for the Oz/Xander ficathon at year_of_oz for glossing who requested good sex and mutual Giles-admiration and did not want 'stupid!Xander'. I didn't get to the good sex in this part, but it is coming. Hang in there. I'm predicting somewhere between 3 or 4 parts total for the story.
Rating: PG for now, hard R or NC-17 eventually
Beta: Mucho thanks to the amazing silvertedy for helping me write what I actually want to write when I don't always initially say it the way I mean to. I don't know how you read my mind, sweetie, but keep it up. Please.
Dark Side of the Moon
Part Ia
Xander heard a car pull up in the drive and went to front door, opening it just before Oz had a chance to knock. “Oz, hey. How was the trip?”
“Xander?”
“In the flesh.”
“I'm supposed to be at Giles’ place.”
Xander nodded. “Yep.”
“Oh.”
“He didn't tell you I live with him?”
Oz's eyebrows went up.
“Well, not live with him live with him. He's just letting me stay here for a while. I needed a little ... time to clear my head.” Xander paused for a moment, lost in thought, then looked up at Oz again. “Sorry. Come on in. Giles went into town, but he should be back soon ... Let me show you your room.”
Oz smiled and nodded his assent.
Xander reached for one of Oz's bags and led him into the foyer and then up the stairs. “This is Giles' room.” He pointed to the first door on the right. “Bathroom.” First on the left. “Me.” Second door on the left. “And you.” Right across from Xander.
The room was small -- a single bed and desk, but more than Oz had had to call home in years.
“Sorry it's so small. I grabbed the larger guest room when I got here a few weeks ago.”
“It's fine.” Oz moved to the window and drew the curtain aside to reveal an amazing view of the property. He turned back to Xander, “I'm gonna go explore.”
“Uh, sure. Want some company? I could show you the stables, the orchard,...”
“No ... thanks. Just need to get out and move around a bit.”
“Sure.” Xander turned and moved to the door then stopped. “Turn right at the bottom of the stairs, the kitchen's down the hall directly below this room. There's a back door there.”
“Thanks.” Xander left and Oz remained for a few minutes before heading down to the kitchen.
***
The back door was right where Xander had said it would be. Oz had been traveling for 3 days and longed for the chance to let go and be free. He'd spent all that travel time surrounded by people and was desperate for a bit of alone time. He wasn’t used to being around so many humans at once anymore. The press of bodies, the scent of flesh, had been closing in on him. He was just one day away from the full moon and despite his control, he was feeling overwhelmed. He needed to let the wolf out now before it emerged on its own.
Oz stepped outside and breathed in the fresh country air. Giles enticed him here with the promise of 50 acres of private land where he could run free. He'd been assured that there would be no hunters. Of course, it didn’t hurt that the Council also was paying him.
He sat on the back porch and removed his shoes then stood up and stripped out of his clothes. Free of these, he hopped down the steps and ran toward the trees, changing as he moved. Within 50 yards of the house Oz was a wolf. He ran all over the property, letting go of stress and allowing exhaustion to overcome him before returning to the house.
As he approached, he saw Xander sitting on the porch steps sipping a beer. Gone was the open, welcoming smile. Now he looked nervous and anxiety was clear on his face. Oz shifted back to human as he walked over to his clothes and dressed. Xander stared at him and Oz heard the hesitation in his words when he finally spoke.
“I ... uh ... I didn't realize ... I mean ... it's not ...”
“Full moon?”
“Yeah.”
“Don't need the moon to change. Don't need to change with the moon.” Oz pulled on his t-shirt and then joined Xander on the steps. “Does it bother you? My being a wolf... running free?”
Xander picked at the label on his beer bottle for several minutes, clearly uncertain about something. Oz wasn’t sure what. Finally Xander turned to Oz but dropped his gaze. “I don't know. I mean ... I've seen it before. But that was different. You were in the library cage ... You weren't running around loose ...”
Oz smiled. He had some fond memories of that library cage -- Willow bringing him breakfast in the morning, Giles singing softly as he shelved books, even Xander babbling to himself not realizing Oz understood him -- but he was happy he didn't need such restraints anymore. After his last trip to Sunnydale and his capture by the Initiative, Oz had worked hard to reconcile the wolf with his human self. He was whole now and it had changed everything. “That was a long time ago. A lot's changed. I've changed.” He leaned back against the porch frame. “Do you trust me, Xander?”
There was that hesitation again. Oz saw him start to say “no,” then catch himself. “Honestly?”
Nod.
“I don't know. It's been a long time. And I've changed a lot too.”
Oz closed his eyes and breathed. He wondered at the intensity of the fear he smelled rolling off of Xander. That was unexpected. The trust issue was not. He was used to it, even among the few he allowed to get close and even after all of this time. That was why he guarded the wolf so carefully.
And why, if he'd known Xander would be here, at least as he was now, he might have thought twice about coming. But Giles had offered him a job and a place to stay for as long as he wanted. There was a slayer who'd been turned; she needed someone to help her learn to control the wolf. Giles also had mentioned that there might be someone else, but he'd been vague on the details and Oz had never been one to press. He'd only learned that the Council was waiting for the full moon to be sure. In the meantime, Oz was here and he'd committed to helping Giles. So, whatever had Xander tied up in knots, he needed to work around it. “Fair enough.” He looked out over the acres of green before them. “Can I trust you?”
Caught off guard, Xander responded without thinking, “I'm not some mons--” He stopped himself with an awkward, pained laugh. “Hey, you know me. I'm just a regular guy.”
“Do you think of me as a monster, Xander?” Xander said nothing, but Oz read the shame on his face before he ducked his head. “The last person I trusted sold me out to poachers. Next time I go out to run, am I going to come back?”
Xander's head snapped up. “Jesus, Oz!” Oz could see that his suggestion genuinely shocked the other young man. “We're friends ...” He sighed and looked up at the darkening sky. Oz followed his gaze. “It's not like that,” he whispered.
“Good.” Oz stood up and walked inside.
***
Xander had spent the last few weeks at Giles' trying to regain a little perspective and put the pain of his most recent travels behind him. He'd brought in a werewolf slayer, Lorna, and been bitten for his efforts. The full moon was just a day away and he had every reason to expect that he was going to spend three nights a month for the rest of his life in a cage.
He was angry. He'd been angry. But really he was just afraid. He'd called Oz a monster and he knew that had hurt him. It was unfair. He hadn’t thought of vampires, demons, and other creatures as monsters in a long time. Hell, he'd spent the last decade surrounded by them -- befriending them, dating them, living with them even. Spike and Anya. Clem. Oz. And there was Cordelia, who'd been a monster but not a demon when he'd dated her and later, apparently, stopped being a monster and became part demon. Which made some weird kind of sense actually.... Not to be outdone by Inca mummy girl, the bug teacher, and Faith in her crazy days (not technically a demon, but ...). No, demons weren't his problem. At least not those kind.
Seeing Oz running free made Xander wonder if maybe he didn't have to live in a cage; if maybe things would be okay. And there was always a chance that he wouldn't turn at all. At least not into a werewolf. He didn't like what all of this had turned him into already.
Whatever the case, he owed Oz an explanation, or at least an apology.
As he rose and entered the house, Xander realized he'd been outside for over an hour since Oz had gone inside. He'd thought a lot about his Council work, the often horrific, often beautiful things he'd seen while traveling. What would happen to him if he did turn? Giles had assured him there'd still be a job for him, but he wasn't sure he wanted it anymore. He'd been dealing with the supernatural since he was fifteen years old. Maybe it was time for a career change. The last year -- traveling around the world looking for slayers -- had been hard. He wasn’t sure how much more he really wanted or needed to see.
Xander entered the kitchen and moved toward the living room. He could hear Giles. “Give him some time, Oz. He's been through a lot since Sunnydale. I'll talk to him if you like, there's nothing for you to worry about here. You needn't be afraid.”
“Hey.” Oz and Giles looked up at him as he stood in the doorway. “I'm sorry about earlier.”
Oz nodded.
“I ... I've ... there's a lot on my mind. But Giles is right. You don't need to worry.”
Oz nodded again, but remained silent. Xander watched him fingering a string of beads in his left hand. “And ... I'm sorry I ... called you a monster. I didn't mean it.”
Another nod.
“I'll see you tomorrow,” he mumbled as he turned to leave the room.
“Xander.” Giles voice was soft. He'd been nothing but generous to Xander since his arrival.
“Yeah?” Xander paused and turned back slightly.
“Will you be joining us for dinner?”
“Not so hungry tonight, Giles. I'm just going to head to bed.”
“All right. Good night then.”
“Night, Xan.” Xander looked up at Oz, surprised to find him smiling shyly.
“Night, Oz.”
To be continued...