Fic - Becoming Xander Harris
So I'm only 3 days late. *sigh* But at last I've finished my story for the BtVS/AtS fandom "What If..." Ficathon managed by missing_inc. This is a Xander-centric story rated for all audiences.
I just have to say that this was the most difficult fic I've had to write yet. It made Ethan/Lorne feel easy. But I did it and I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you all enjoy, especially voleuse.
Title: Becoming Xander Harris
Author: Moosesal
Warning: character deaths
Written for: voleuse
Challenge: What if Angelus hadn’t killed Jenny Calendar? Focus on Angel/us, Xander, Drusilla
Wants: Mention of Kendra, mention of Acathla. Don’t want: non-con, onscreen Giles or Jenny
Beta: Massive gratitude to entrenous88 for looking at the first draft of this and asking lots of questions. I hope I plugged all the holes, sweetie. Thanks also to silvertedy for the final polish on this, catching my errors, offering some suggested rephrasings (most of which I took) and making some of my favorite parts even better.
Setting: Based on the challenge, this goes AU from the season 2 episode “Passion.”
No one saw it coming. Not Buffy. Not Giles. Not Willow. And definitely not Ms. Calendar or me. Drusilla got her and then me. Well, sort of, anyway.
The way I heard it, Drusilla had one of her visions and figured out that Ms. Calendar was working on a spell to put Angel’s soul back. So she went after Jenny -- that’s what I call her now. Know her a little too well to think of her as my teacher, my computer teacher, that is, anymore. So yeah, Dru went after Jenny before she could finish things up and ruin the fun. Found her in her classroom and trashed her computer, but let's just say Dru wasn't very tech savvy--she didn't know anything about floppy disks.
So anyway -- and this is all secondhand from Spike, who isn’t exactly known for telling the truth, but ... well, you know ... he spins a good story--Jenny goes running down the halls of Sunnydale High trying to get away and hoping someone might be around to help. But no one’s around, which really isn’t surprising. I mean, nighttime? Sunnydale? People are stupid, yeah. But they’re stupid at The Bronze, not at the high school. Right? Besides, the only person who could’ve helped woulda been Buffy, and it's not like she was particularly inclined to come to Jenny’s aid after the whole gypsy curse thing came out.
So no one’s around. She’s running and screaming, and finally, Dru catches her and decides to have a little snack. And, oh yeah, here’s bit of a twist--offers her a little taste in return. Bada bing! Our lovely Ms. Calendar won’t be teaching computer science anymore. Not that it’s not nice having someone with a little IT know-how in the family. Cuz the others? Turned before the telephone was invented and not exactly up with the times.
You’re probably wondering how I figure into this story, or why Spike told me all of this, right? Well, I’m getting to that. I am. See, there was this little love spell thing and I should have known better, but I didn’t, and things got a little out of hand. So, anyway, all the women in Sunnydale fell for me, including Drusilla and Ms. Calendar -- this was just before Dru got her. I’m still not really sure if Giles and Amy didn't quite reverse the love spell or if it worked different on vampires or if Dru just genuinely wanted me. I was always too scared to ask her. And it certainly wasn’t something I ever felt comfortable asking Spike, you know? I mean he loved her. He really did.
But whatever the case, she convinced Angelus that nothing would make her happier than to have me as a pet. Which meant he kidnapped me outside my house about a week after the deal with Jenny. Next thing I know, I’m a permanent guest at the mansion out on Crawford Street.
Dru and Jenny played with me for a few days, biting me, using me as a sex toy, that kind of thing. But Angelus didn’t like me any more without the soul than Angel had before when he’d had it. And he definitely didn’t like losing Dru’s attentions to me, so he handed me over to Spike. That left him to play Daddy to his girls. Sorry. That’s probably more than you wanted to know, right? Believe me, I understand. It’s certainly more than I ever wanted to know.
Spike, of course, wasn't particularly impressed with me at the time, but he did admit I was a step up from the puppy Drusilla’d given him that one time. Human blood tastes a lot better than canine, that’s for sure. Not that he bothered with the tasting, at least not right away.
***
“Help me into the bath.”
Xander swallowed nervously and started to unbutton his shirt.
Spike rolled his eyes and spoke slowly, as if talking to an idiot child. “Me. Not you. Me.” He pointed at himself to make sure Xander understood. “Run some hot water in the tub, then help me out of this bloody chair.”
Xander nodded. “Uh ... yeah. Okay.” Walking into the bathroom, he plugged the drain before opening the taps to fill the tub.
Spike rolled into the room and stopped in the doorway. Xander could feel Spike’s eyes studying him. “Make sure it’s not too hot. Skin’s still a bit delicate.” He motioned to a bottle on the ledge near the faucet. “And put some of that stuff in. Helps with the healing.”
Xander poured some of the oil into the tub and smiled as he recognized the soft, flowery scent. He turned and helped Spike undress, lifting him from his chair and into the bath after the tub had filled.
“Right. You can bugger off into the other room now.” He reached for the washcloth. “Don’t think about trying to run off, though. You’d never make it, and I’d hate to have to punish you.” Spike’s words were accompanied by his eyes raking over Xander’s body from top to toe and back again. “Although I’m sure I could come up with something I’d enjoy doing to you.”
***
I never gave him reason to follow through on those sorts of threats, but he was still so in love with Dru that I’m not sure he would’ve done anything anyway. But don’t ever tell him I said that.
I didn’t expect us to become friendly, you know? I mean, I expected the leering and stuff. And even with him in the chair, I figured he’d want some sort of sexual favor, especially after the way Dru and Jenny used me. But he was still pining for Dru. Whenever he looked at me funny or said something even remotely sexual, it was always clear that he was just fucking with me.
But those few weeks that I was with him were a lifetime. He was nice to me. We’d chat about TV and stuff. It was weird. He wasn’t what I’d expected. When we were alone, he was quiet. He read a lot. And he was always watching, taking in everything.
Angelus would poke his head in now and then to see what we were up to and to tease Spike for not making proper use of his new pet. But Spike refused to rise to the bait, and eventually Angelus would get bored and leave us alone. To be honest, if it didn’t have something to do with Buffy, Angelus got bored pretty easily. He was so obsessed with her, he didn’t really have any time to worry about anything else, let alone me and Spike.
So, Spike and I sort of got along. I mean, what else were we gonna do? I mean, sure, he could have eaten me. But he didn’t. And I knew I couldn’t escape, so I figured I might as well just do what he asked until Buffy came to rescue me. Cuz I knew she’d come for me. After all, she went back for Jesse when she barely even knew him. She was definitely going to come for me, her friend, you know? She had to.
Once Angelus found out that those construction people had dug up that tomb with Acathla inside, he became even more obsessed--and I didn’t think that was possible. It became part of his plan to hurt Buffy. Kill the Slayer, destroy the world, and all that. Two for one, I guess. He went on and on about it. Spike was right when he called him a wanker. He couldn’t see that his grand plan to destroy the world included destroying himself. Of course, he wasn’t smart enough to pull it off solo. Got Jenny to do some research for him, but they couldn’t get the ritual right. That’s when he came up with the idea of kidnapping Giles.
It was actually pretty clever, luring Buffy to a fight him while everyone else went to the library to get Giles. Except when they got there, Jenny lost control and ate Giles before they could get any information. And then Kendra dusted her. So much for the best-laid plans.
But while Kendra was busy wiping the floor with Jenny, Dru nabbed Willow. She’d been trying the spell to re-ensoul Angel when the cavalry from hell arrived, and I guess Drusilla figured she was the next best thing to Giles, so they brought the consolation prize back to the mansion.
***
“Spike! You can’t let him--”
“Let him what, pet? Hurt your friend?”
Xander nodded and paced the room, glancing from Spike to the door and back again. “Well, yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because ... because she’s my friend. I’m not losing another one to your fucked up vampire family.”
Spike rolled his eyes and stood up from his chair. “The only one around here who’s gonna die is Angelus.”
Xander’s eyes went wide. “Y-y-you can walk?” Xander stood motionless, staring at Spike’s legs. “You can fucking walk?!”
Spike stepped up to him and put his hand over Xander’s mouth. “Shut up before you get us both staked.” Xander froze. “I’m gonna take my hand away and you’re gonna be calm, right?” Xander nodded.
***
How could I know Spike was gonna make some crazy agreement with Buffy? When I saw he could walk, I just assumed he was gonna leave--take Drusilla with him and go, you know? Let me get Willow and get out while Buffy dealt with Angelus. But that wasn’t the plan. No, the plan was far less sensible than that.
***
"Pack your things, pet. We're going on a little trip."
"We?"
Spike smiled at Xander and slinked across the room, stopping right in front of him, hands resting on his hips. "Yeah, pet. We."
"But ... my friends. They'll be looking--"
"Not likely." At Xander's questioning look, he explained. "Worked out a bit of a deal."
"With who?" he shouted.
"Whom.” Spike corrected. “Calm down pet." Pushing Xander against the edge of a table, he bent him backward.
"With who--whom?" he whispered, as he shoved Spike off.
"With Buffy, of course." Spike smiled and backed away.
"What kind of deal?"
"I give her Angelus and Dru. She lets us go."
"Us?"
"You and me, git. Do you see anyone else in the room?"
“But she--“
“Thinks you’re one of use now.”
“What!?”
***
Buffy was wrong at the time, but apparently she wasn’t as naive as me. When it came time for that final battle between Buffy and Angelus, Spike had arranged to keep us out of it. But Angelus had some crazy plan to use me to get to Buffy -- not that it worked, cuz she’d already expected it. So, yeah, Angelus ... well, he turned me. You were probably thinking Spike was the one, but no. He did take care of me, teach me how to be a vamp, but it was Angelus who made me. It could have been worse, I guess. Could have been Dru. Jenny never was quite right, and all I can figure is it had something to do with Dru.
But anyway, back to my turning. I think Spike wanted to stop him. He had me sleeping in his bed by then -- not that we were doing anything; he just liked to curl up to my warm body. But there was nothing he could do. He was still in the wheelchair -- at least, that’s what he needed everyone to believe. So when Angelus came and grabbed me, he was forced to just sit there and watch.
***
“What are you gonna do with him?” Spike wheeled himself across the room and glared up at Angelus.
“Buffy’s been looking for him.”
“Yeah? So?”
“Soooo, I thought I’d give him back.” His lips twitched in a half smile.
Xander looked at Angelus and then down at Spike, but kept his mouth shut for once.
“Give him back? Just like that? What are you, daft?” Spike looked at Angelus like he was a raving lunatic. “I’m not buying it, mate.”
Angelus leaned in close to Spike and whispered, “Well, he may be a little...different when I return him.” Then he yanked Xander’s body close up to his own -- back to chest -- and pulled his head to the side before dropping his fangs. “Think she’ll want you once you’re one of us, Harris?”
***
He knew those words would hurt me, and they did. And I know he figured the whole deal would hurt Buffy, but she thought it had already happened anyway, so…. What a waste, huh? That was it. My life was over. His fangs were in me and his wrist was at my mouth forcing me to drink. Lucky for me, he gave me back to Spike once I was turned. Even as a vampire, I didn’t want anything to do with Angelus or Drusilla. My new strengths hadn’t made me any less afraid of them. I guess there was still a part of me in there, even if the soul was gone. It didn’t help that Dru was always saying the most insane things about me -- like how I’d outlast them all. Of course, she was right, but I didn’t understand that back then.
So anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, the big battle. Angleus -- that arrogant bastard -- he wanted to raise this demon. Acathla. Not that I was on board for that as a human or anything, but I was really against it as a vampire. Like Spike told Buffy when they made their little bargain, if all the humans in the world were wiped out, what would be left for us? Animals just aren’t the same. I mean, sure, the blood still squirts hot in the back of your throat and all -- unless you’re living off the bagged stuff, of course -- but it just doesn’t have the same flavor. The rich taste of pennies dug out of the ground. Mmmm. I really miss that sometimes.
The battle, right. Well, Buffy showed up with Kendra at sunrise. They dusted a few minions, and then Kendra took out Drusilla -- who’d been torturing Willow while she watched the show. Spike told me to untie Willow -- that was part of his deal with Buffy -- and then he ditched the wheelchair and attacked Angelus with a crow bar. Angelus definitely didn’t see that coming. As soon as he was down, Spike turned his attention to Kendra. She’d killed his Dru, you know? And he just couldn’t let that go. He shared her blood with me and -- not that I’d do it now, but it’s true what they say-- there’s nothing in the world like the blood of a Slayer. Sweet. Powerful.
***
Spike dropped Kendra’s body to the floor and looked over to where Buffy and Angelus were hammering away at each other. How Angelus had finished the ritual and managed to pull the sword out of Acathla somewhere in the middle of it all impressed even Spike.
“Let’s go, pet.”
Xander stood frozen, watching the fight move out into the courtyard. Angelus had Buffy backed into a corner, her weapon lost.
“He’s gonna kill her,” Spike’s eyes were wide, then he shook his head and grabbed Xander’s hand. “We gotta go, pet.”
“No.” Xander slowly moved toward Buffy, his eyes locked on the mortal combat. He gasped as she managed to stop Angelus’s sword and push it back at him. Then she was up and had her own sword again. The parrying moved back into the main room. They danced their deadly ballet in front of Acathla, and as Xander moved closer, Spike grabbed him and pulled him away.
***
I couldn’t pull my eyes away. I could feel her, tingling along my skin. After the taste of Kendra, I wanted more. Fortunately, Spike was smart enough to keep me away, because no way I could have taken her--or Angelus, for that matter, who probably wasn’t in the mind to share. No, I couldn’t have taken her. Not that day. She was a machine. She was on her own now, and she wasn’t just there as a Slayer. She was there for revenge.
The fight was incredible. It was like Spike and I didn’t even exist anymore. Talk about love-hate relationships. Swords clashing. A few words. Buffy always did have the fast mouth to go with her fast fists.
So there they were at the last minute in front of that damn statue of Acathla. And then the vortex opened, and they both just sort of froze for a minute, looking into each other’s eyes. And then slam! Buffy’s sword went through Angelus’s chest just as his sword came up through her stomach. That was it. It was all over. Angelus was sucked into hell, and the vortex closed up. Buffy was gone, too -- not into the vortex, of course. But her blood was seeping across the stone floor.
I was sort of frozen, just staring at her. Spike had to drag me away. We hightailed it out of there before a new Slayer could show up. And we’ve been wreaking havoc ’round the world ever since. Okay, so that last part’s not entirely true. Apparently, Spike thought I was an ass as a vampire. He actually liked me better as a human. Go figure? So he got Willow to try that whole re-souling spell on me, and now here I am, wacky vamp with a soul. Spike likes to call me mini-Angel when I piss him off, but even he has to admit that there’s a lot less brooding from me. Guess it’s because I don’t have all those years of killing on my conscience like Angel did.
We bounced around together for a while. I think he let me tag along cuz I somehow amused him. But I guess I must have grown on him, because once we ended up in L.A., he stuck around.
So here we are in L.A now, fighting evil. Got us a little detective agency. Cordy came down to become an actress and ended up working as our secretary, sorry, administrative assistant/office manager. It took her a while, but I think she’s even warmed up to Spike now that she knows he won’t bite her. Spike’s actually pretty protective. I keep telling him I’m not like Dru -- I don’t need to be taken care of. But I think it gives him an excuse to be a good guy. Turns out that whole ‘Big Bad’ thing was all just an act -- not that he’s not a great fighter or anything. It’s just -- Spike? Evil? Not so much. But don’t tell him I said that. He’s a little sensitive about his vamp cred, ya know.
We sort of help the helpless, fight the bad guys. Turns out there’s lots of good demons who need a little help now and then too. And there’s this law firm -- Wolfram & Hart. They think I’m part of some prophecy -- some Shanshu thing. Supposed to get to be human again some day. Yeah, well ... I guess we’ll see.
I just have to say that this was the most difficult fic I've had to write yet. It made Ethan/Lorne feel easy. But I did it and I'm pretty happy with it. I hope you all enjoy, especially voleuse.
Title: Becoming Xander Harris
Author: Moosesal
Warning: character deaths
Written for: voleuse
Challenge: What if Angelus hadn’t killed Jenny Calendar? Focus on Angel/us, Xander, Drusilla
Wants: Mention of Kendra, mention of Acathla. Don’t want: non-con, onscreen Giles or Jenny
Beta: Massive gratitude to entrenous88 for looking at the first draft of this and asking lots of questions. I hope I plugged all the holes, sweetie. Thanks also to silvertedy for the final polish on this, catching my errors, offering some suggested rephrasings (most of which I took) and making some of my favorite parts even better.
Setting: Based on the challenge, this goes AU from the season 2 episode “Passion.”
No one saw it coming. Not Buffy. Not Giles. Not Willow. And definitely not Ms. Calendar or me. Drusilla got her and then me. Well, sort of, anyway.
The way I heard it, Drusilla had one of her visions and figured out that Ms. Calendar was working on a spell to put Angel’s soul back. So she went after Jenny -- that’s what I call her now. Know her a little too well to think of her as my teacher, my computer teacher, that is, anymore. So yeah, Dru went after Jenny before she could finish things up and ruin the fun. Found her in her classroom and trashed her computer, but let's just say Dru wasn't very tech savvy--she didn't know anything about floppy disks.
So anyway -- and this is all secondhand from Spike, who isn’t exactly known for telling the truth, but ... well, you know ... he spins a good story--Jenny goes running down the halls of Sunnydale High trying to get away and hoping someone might be around to help. But no one’s around, which really isn’t surprising. I mean, nighttime? Sunnydale? People are stupid, yeah. But they’re stupid at The Bronze, not at the high school. Right? Besides, the only person who could’ve helped woulda been Buffy, and it's not like she was particularly inclined to come to Jenny’s aid after the whole gypsy curse thing came out.
So no one’s around. She’s running and screaming, and finally, Dru catches her and decides to have a little snack. And, oh yeah, here’s bit of a twist--offers her a little taste in return. Bada bing! Our lovely Ms. Calendar won’t be teaching computer science anymore. Not that it’s not nice having someone with a little IT know-how in the family. Cuz the others? Turned before the telephone was invented and not exactly up with the times.
You’re probably wondering how I figure into this story, or why Spike told me all of this, right? Well, I’m getting to that. I am. See, there was this little love spell thing and I should have known better, but I didn’t, and things got a little out of hand. So, anyway, all the women in Sunnydale fell for me, including Drusilla and Ms. Calendar -- this was just before Dru got her. I’m still not really sure if Giles and Amy didn't quite reverse the love spell or if it worked different on vampires or if Dru just genuinely wanted me. I was always too scared to ask her. And it certainly wasn’t something I ever felt comfortable asking Spike, you know? I mean he loved her. He really did.
But whatever the case, she convinced Angelus that nothing would make her happier than to have me as a pet. Which meant he kidnapped me outside my house about a week after the deal with Jenny. Next thing I know, I’m a permanent guest at the mansion out on Crawford Street.
Dru and Jenny played with me for a few days, biting me, using me as a sex toy, that kind of thing. But Angelus didn’t like me any more without the soul than Angel had before when he’d had it. And he definitely didn’t like losing Dru’s attentions to me, so he handed me over to Spike. That left him to play Daddy to his girls. Sorry. That’s probably more than you wanted to know, right? Believe me, I understand. It’s certainly more than I ever wanted to know.
Spike, of course, wasn't particularly impressed with me at the time, but he did admit I was a step up from the puppy Drusilla’d given him that one time. Human blood tastes a lot better than canine, that’s for sure. Not that he bothered with the tasting, at least not right away.
***
“Help me into the bath.”
Xander swallowed nervously and started to unbutton his shirt.
Spike rolled his eyes and spoke slowly, as if talking to an idiot child. “Me. Not you. Me.” He pointed at himself to make sure Xander understood. “Run some hot water in the tub, then help me out of this bloody chair.”
Xander nodded. “Uh ... yeah. Okay.” Walking into the bathroom, he plugged the drain before opening the taps to fill the tub.
Spike rolled into the room and stopped in the doorway. Xander could feel Spike’s eyes studying him. “Make sure it’s not too hot. Skin’s still a bit delicate.” He motioned to a bottle on the ledge near the faucet. “And put some of that stuff in. Helps with the healing.”
Xander poured some of the oil into the tub and smiled as he recognized the soft, flowery scent. He turned and helped Spike undress, lifting him from his chair and into the bath after the tub had filled.
“Right. You can bugger off into the other room now.” He reached for the washcloth. “Don’t think about trying to run off, though. You’d never make it, and I’d hate to have to punish you.” Spike’s words were accompanied by his eyes raking over Xander’s body from top to toe and back again. “Although I’m sure I could come up with something I’d enjoy doing to you.”
***
I never gave him reason to follow through on those sorts of threats, but he was still so in love with Dru that I’m not sure he would’ve done anything anyway. But don’t ever tell him I said that.
I didn’t expect us to become friendly, you know? I mean, I expected the leering and stuff. And even with him in the chair, I figured he’d want some sort of sexual favor, especially after the way Dru and Jenny used me. But he was still pining for Dru. Whenever he looked at me funny or said something even remotely sexual, it was always clear that he was just fucking with me.
But those few weeks that I was with him were a lifetime. He was nice to me. We’d chat about TV and stuff. It was weird. He wasn’t what I’d expected. When we were alone, he was quiet. He read a lot. And he was always watching, taking in everything.
Angelus would poke his head in now and then to see what we were up to and to tease Spike for not making proper use of his new pet. But Spike refused to rise to the bait, and eventually Angelus would get bored and leave us alone. To be honest, if it didn’t have something to do with Buffy, Angelus got bored pretty easily. He was so obsessed with her, he didn’t really have any time to worry about anything else, let alone me and Spike.
So, Spike and I sort of got along. I mean, what else were we gonna do? I mean, sure, he could have eaten me. But he didn’t. And I knew I couldn’t escape, so I figured I might as well just do what he asked until Buffy came to rescue me. Cuz I knew she’d come for me. After all, she went back for Jesse when she barely even knew him. She was definitely going to come for me, her friend, you know? She had to.
Once Angelus found out that those construction people had dug up that tomb with Acathla inside, he became even more obsessed--and I didn’t think that was possible. It became part of his plan to hurt Buffy. Kill the Slayer, destroy the world, and all that. Two for one, I guess. He went on and on about it. Spike was right when he called him a wanker. He couldn’t see that his grand plan to destroy the world included destroying himself. Of course, he wasn’t smart enough to pull it off solo. Got Jenny to do some research for him, but they couldn’t get the ritual right. That’s when he came up with the idea of kidnapping Giles.
It was actually pretty clever, luring Buffy to a fight him while everyone else went to the library to get Giles. Except when they got there, Jenny lost control and ate Giles before they could get any information. And then Kendra dusted her. So much for the best-laid plans.
But while Kendra was busy wiping the floor with Jenny, Dru nabbed Willow. She’d been trying the spell to re-ensoul Angel when the cavalry from hell arrived, and I guess Drusilla figured she was the next best thing to Giles, so they brought the consolation prize back to the mansion.
***
“Spike! You can’t let him--”
“Let him what, pet? Hurt your friend?”
Xander nodded and paced the room, glancing from Spike to the door and back again. “Well, yeah.”
“Why?”
“Because ... because she’s my friend. I’m not losing another one to your fucked up vampire family.”
Spike rolled his eyes and stood up from his chair. “The only one around here who’s gonna die is Angelus.”
Xander’s eyes went wide. “Y-y-you can walk?” Xander stood motionless, staring at Spike’s legs. “You can fucking walk?!”
Spike stepped up to him and put his hand over Xander’s mouth. “Shut up before you get us both staked.” Xander froze. “I’m gonna take my hand away and you’re gonna be calm, right?” Xander nodded.
***
How could I know Spike was gonna make some crazy agreement with Buffy? When I saw he could walk, I just assumed he was gonna leave--take Drusilla with him and go, you know? Let me get Willow and get out while Buffy dealt with Angelus. But that wasn’t the plan. No, the plan was far less sensible than that.
***
"Pack your things, pet. We're going on a little trip."
"We?"
Spike smiled at Xander and slinked across the room, stopping right in front of him, hands resting on his hips. "Yeah, pet. We."
"But ... my friends. They'll be looking--"
"Not likely." At Xander's questioning look, he explained. "Worked out a bit of a deal."
"With who?" he shouted.
"Whom.” Spike corrected. “Calm down pet." Pushing Xander against the edge of a table, he bent him backward.
"With who--whom?" he whispered, as he shoved Spike off.
"With Buffy, of course." Spike smiled and backed away.
"What kind of deal?"
"I give her Angelus and Dru. She lets us go."
"Us?"
"You and me, git. Do you see anyone else in the room?"
“But she--“
“Thinks you’re one of use now.”
“What!?”
***
Buffy was wrong at the time, but apparently she wasn’t as naive as me. When it came time for that final battle between Buffy and Angelus, Spike had arranged to keep us out of it. But Angelus had some crazy plan to use me to get to Buffy -- not that it worked, cuz she’d already expected it. So, yeah, Angelus ... well, he turned me. You were probably thinking Spike was the one, but no. He did take care of me, teach me how to be a vamp, but it was Angelus who made me. It could have been worse, I guess. Could have been Dru. Jenny never was quite right, and all I can figure is it had something to do with Dru.
But anyway, back to my turning. I think Spike wanted to stop him. He had me sleeping in his bed by then -- not that we were doing anything; he just liked to curl up to my warm body. But there was nothing he could do. He was still in the wheelchair -- at least, that’s what he needed everyone to believe. So when Angelus came and grabbed me, he was forced to just sit there and watch.
***
“What are you gonna do with him?” Spike wheeled himself across the room and glared up at Angelus.
“Buffy’s been looking for him.”
“Yeah? So?”
“Soooo, I thought I’d give him back.” His lips twitched in a half smile.
Xander looked at Angelus and then down at Spike, but kept his mouth shut for once.
“Give him back? Just like that? What are you, daft?” Spike looked at Angelus like he was a raving lunatic. “I’m not buying it, mate.”
Angelus leaned in close to Spike and whispered, “Well, he may be a little...different when I return him.” Then he yanked Xander’s body close up to his own -- back to chest -- and pulled his head to the side before dropping his fangs. “Think she’ll want you once you’re one of us, Harris?”
***
He knew those words would hurt me, and they did. And I know he figured the whole deal would hurt Buffy, but she thought it had already happened anyway, so…. What a waste, huh? That was it. My life was over. His fangs were in me and his wrist was at my mouth forcing me to drink. Lucky for me, he gave me back to Spike once I was turned. Even as a vampire, I didn’t want anything to do with Angelus or Drusilla. My new strengths hadn’t made me any less afraid of them. I guess there was still a part of me in there, even if the soul was gone. It didn’t help that Dru was always saying the most insane things about me -- like how I’d outlast them all. Of course, she was right, but I didn’t understand that back then.
So anyway, where were we? Oh yeah, the big battle. Angleus -- that arrogant bastard -- he wanted to raise this demon. Acathla. Not that I was on board for that as a human or anything, but I was really against it as a vampire. Like Spike told Buffy when they made their little bargain, if all the humans in the world were wiped out, what would be left for us? Animals just aren’t the same. I mean, sure, the blood still squirts hot in the back of your throat and all -- unless you’re living off the bagged stuff, of course -- but it just doesn’t have the same flavor. The rich taste of pennies dug out of the ground. Mmmm. I really miss that sometimes.
The battle, right. Well, Buffy showed up with Kendra at sunrise. They dusted a few minions, and then Kendra took out Drusilla -- who’d been torturing Willow while she watched the show. Spike told me to untie Willow -- that was part of his deal with Buffy -- and then he ditched the wheelchair and attacked Angelus with a crow bar. Angelus definitely didn’t see that coming. As soon as he was down, Spike turned his attention to Kendra. She’d killed his Dru, you know? And he just couldn’t let that go. He shared her blood with me and -- not that I’d do it now, but it’s true what they say-- there’s nothing in the world like the blood of a Slayer. Sweet. Powerful.
***
Spike dropped Kendra’s body to the floor and looked over to where Buffy and Angelus were hammering away at each other. How Angelus had finished the ritual and managed to pull the sword out of Acathla somewhere in the middle of it all impressed even Spike.
“Let’s go, pet.”
Xander stood frozen, watching the fight move out into the courtyard. Angelus had Buffy backed into a corner, her weapon lost.
“He’s gonna kill her,” Spike’s eyes were wide, then he shook his head and grabbed Xander’s hand. “We gotta go, pet.”
“No.” Xander slowly moved toward Buffy, his eyes locked on the mortal combat. He gasped as she managed to stop Angelus’s sword and push it back at him. Then she was up and had her own sword again. The parrying moved back into the main room. They danced their deadly ballet in front of Acathla, and as Xander moved closer, Spike grabbed him and pulled him away.
***
I couldn’t pull my eyes away. I could feel her, tingling along my skin. After the taste of Kendra, I wanted more. Fortunately, Spike was smart enough to keep me away, because no way I could have taken her--or Angelus, for that matter, who probably wasn’t in the mind to share. No, I couldn’t have taken her. Not that day. She was a machine. She was on her own now, and she wasn’t just there as a Slayer. She was there for revenge.
The fight was incredible. It was like Spike and I didn’t even exist anymore. Talk about love-hate relationships. Swords clashing. A few words. Buffy always did have the fast mouth to go with her fast fists.
So there they were at the last minute in front of that damn statue of Acathla. And then the vortex opened, and they both just sort of froze for a minute, looking into each other’s eyes. And then slam! Buffy’s sword went through Angelus’s chest just as his sword came up through her stomach. That was it. It was all over. Angelus was sucked into hell, and the vortex closed up. Buffy was gone, too -- not into the vortex, of course. But her blood was seeping across the stone floor.
I was sort of frozen, just staring at her. Spike had to drag me away. We hightailed it out of there before a new Slayer could show up. And we’ve been wreaking havoc ’round the world ever since. Okay, so that last part’s not entirely true. Apparently, Spike thought I was an ass as a vampire. He actually liked me better as a human. Go figure? So he got Willow to try that whole re-souling spell on me, and now here I am, wacky vamp with a soul. Spike likes to call me mini-Angel when I piss him off, but even he has to admit that there’s a lot less brooding from me. Guess it’s because I don’t have all those years of killing on my conscience like Angel did.
We bounced around together for a while. I think he let me tag along cuz I somehow amused him. But I guess I must have grown on him, because once we ended up in L.A., he stuck around.
So here we are in L.A now, fighting evil. Got us a little detective agency. Cordy came down to become an actress and ended up working as our secretary, sorry, administrative assistant/office manager. It took her a while, but I think she’s even warmed up to Spike now that she knows he won’t bite her. Spike’s actually pretty protective. I keep telling him I’m not like Dru -- I don’t need to be taken care of. But I think it gives him an excuse to be a good guy. Turns out that whole ‘Big Bad’ thing was all just an act -- not that he’s not a great fighter or anything. It’s just -- Spike? Evil? Not so much. But don’t tell him I said that. He’s a little sensitive about his vamp cred, ya know.
We sort of help the helpless, fight the bad guys. Turns out there’s lots of good demons who need a little help now and then too. And there’s this law firm -- Wolfram & Hart. They think I’m part of some prophecy -- some Shanshu thing. Supposed to get to be human again some day. Yeah, well ... I guess we’ll see.