Ficlet - The Couple's Therapy Session We Didn't See (RPS - The Two Coreys)
Happy Birthday stoney321!!!!!!!! I wrote this little bit of insanity just for you.
Title: The Couple's Therapy Session We Didn't See
Fandom: RPS - The Two Coreys
Characters: Corey Haim/Corey Feldman, Dr. Nicki Monti, and a mention of Michael Jackson
Rated: R
Note: I always thought I was going to hell for the incest fic, but I think this is a billion times worse. *head desk*
For those unfamiliar with this season - Haim and Feldman have been going to "couple's therapy" with therapist Dr. Nicki Monti. :)
"So," Dr. Monti paused as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Tell me about your sex life."
Haim and Feldman looked at her then at each other and then back to her. "We don't--" "It's not--" "We're not--" they stumbled and started, talking over each other.
"We're not like that," Feldman finally got out. "I'm married. To a beautiful woman." At Dr. Monti's raised eyebrow he spit out, "You've seen her!!"
Dr. Monti sat back in her chair and looked at them both -- her expression clearly saying she wasn't buying that. "You really expect me to believe that the two of you never..." she trailed off, letting them fill in the blanks.
"Blowjobs don't count."
Fedlman smacked Haim upside the head as soon as the words were out. "You fucker. That's gonna end up on the show and then Susie's gonna see it."
Haim just shrugged. "Not like you were good at it."
"What? What?!?"
Haim leaned against the sofa's armrest, body half turned to face Feldman. He pulled one leg up, resting his ankle on his other knee. It was a casual slouch, and inviting slouch, crotch open and on display. "You weren't that good." His tone was matter of fact, he even shrugged. "I would have thought all that time with Michael ... you would have gotten better or something." His tone was casual, but there was an underlying bite to it.
Feldman started to get up and then stopped when Haim said, "He didn't give you tips? He gave me tips."
"You son of a--" He stopped himself and turned to the cameraman. "Turn it off. Turn it the fuck off. Now. And get out." Amazingly the guy did as told. Then Feldman turned on Haim again. "We don't talk about that. You said you weren't going to go there."
"Sorry."
"You don't seem sorry," Dr. Monti butted in. They'd both almost forgotten she was even there, she'd been so quiet. "You want to fill me in?"
For once they were in agreement, saying "No" at the same time.
"Okay... I think I have it figured it out anyway. So back to your sex life with each other..."
"There were a few blowjobs. We were high." That's all Feldman's got to say about it.
Haim rolled his eyes. "We weren't always high."
"Dude, you were high all the time. For years you were high."
Haim turned his body away from Feldman and looked over at the wall. "Maybe when we were kids, yeah. But I've been clean a long time, Corey. You know that. I wasn't high when we fucked at your house last year. I wasn't high all those times in hotels and cars and wherever we could steal a private moment over the last few years. I wasn't high when we kissed or when I sucked your dick or when I let you fuck me." He turned to look him in the eye again. "I wasn't high. Were you? Is that why you did it? Is that the only way you can be with me?"
Feldman couldn't move, couldn't speak. He just shut down.
"Yeah," Haim said. "I got it. You love Susie. What-the-fuck-ever, man." And then he stood up and left.
Title: The Couple's Therapy Session We Didn't See
Fandom: RPS - The Two Coreys
Characters: Corey Haim/Corey Feldman, Dr. Nicki Monti, and a mention of Michael Jackson
Rated: R
Note: I always thought I was going to hell for the incest fic, but I think this is a billion times worse. *head desk*
For those unfamiliar with this season - Haim and Feldman have been going to "couple's therapy" with therapist Dr. Nicki Monti. :)
"So," Dr. Monti paused as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her knees. "Tell me about your sex life."
Haim and Feldman looked at her then at each other and then back to her. "We don't--" "It's not--" "We're not--" they stumbled and started, talking over each other.
"We're not like that," Feldman finally got out. "I'm married. To a beautiful woman." At Dr. Monti's raised eyebrow he spit out, "You've seen her!!"
Dr. Monti sat back in her chair and looked at them both -- her expression clearly saying she wasn't buying that. "You really expect me to believe that the two of you never..." she trailed off, letting them fill in the blanks.
"Blowjobs don't count."
Fedlman smacked Haim upside the head as soon as the words were out. "You fucker. That's gonna end up on the show and then Susie's gonna see it."
Haim just shrugged. "Not like you were good at it."
"What? What?!?"
Haim leaned against the sofa's armrest, body half turned to face Feldman. He pulled one leg up, resting his ankle on his other knee. It was a casual slouch, and inviting slouch, crotch open and on display. "You weren't that good." His tone was matter of fact, he even shrugged. "I would have thought all that time with Michael ... you would have gotten better or something." His tone was casual, but there was an underlying bite to it.
Feldman started to get up and then stopped when Haim said, "He didn't give you tips? He gave me tips."
"You son of a--" He stopped himself and turned to the cameraman. "Turn it off. Turn it the fuck off. Now. And get out." Amazingly the guy did as told. Then Feldman turned on Haim again. "We don't talk about that. You said you weren't going to go there."
"Sorry."
"You don't seem sorry," Dr. Monti butted in. They'd both almost forgotten she was even there, she'd been so quiet. "You want to fill me in?"
For once they were in agreement, saying "No" at the same time.
"Okay... I think I have it figured it out anyway. So back to your sex life with each other..."
"There were a few blowjobs. We were high." That's all Feldman's got to say about it.
Haim rolled his eyes. "We weren't always high."
"Dude, you were high all the time. For years you were high."
Haim turned his body away from Feldman and looked over at the wall. "Maybe when we were kids, yeah. But I've been clean a long time, Corey. You know that. I wasn't high when we fucked at your house last year. I wasn't high all those times in hotels and cars and wherever we could steal a private moment over the last few years. I wasn't high when we kissed or when I sucked your dick or when I let you fuck me." He turned to look him in the eye again. "I wasn't high. Were you? Is that why you did it? Is that the only way you can be with me?"
Feldman couldn't move, couldn't speak. He just shut down.
"Yeah," Haim said. "I got it. You love Susie. What-the-fuck-ever, man." And then he stood up and left.