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[mor_than_this]

I'm depressed and I'm aware of it and I wish to be over it and it frustrates me that I can't.
My online world is no consolation. It is empty.
I talk to no one, and no one talks to me.
I have become a bitter woman who complains all the time, and if I don't like myself this way, why should others?

I'm drowning...

Comments

[mumsisdaughter]

Take a long drink of cold water, put your coat on and go for a walk. The trick is not to look downwards at the ground but upwards at the sky, or the birds, or the trees in the breeze. In other words immerse yourself in the life outdoors. I find Nature both soothing and stimulating. There is always something to wonder at. You do not have to be out long. The mere action of walking and breathing fresh air gets the heart and blood moving and refreshes the brain. When you get home, pick up a pencil and draw what you've seen, or write about it to preserve the memory. Do it regularly and you'll soon have a portfolio of your personal experiences and feel better physically and emotiomally.

I hope you feel better soon.

[mor_than_this]

My coat? LOL no thanks it's maybe 35 degrees celsius out there today... Actually I was about to try your suggestion the moment I read it last night, but then my son started crying and I had to go calm him down. Then this morning I tried that again but the first thing I saw when I went out was that my dog upturned a very big, heavy pot with a huge plant in it, and I decided to lift it back to place myself before my husband sees it and gets mad at the poor dog. So that was my venture out this morning. Lol. But afterwards we went to meet some family and that made me feel better I guess.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try to remember it and use it whenever possible.

[mumsisdaughter]

35! It's still below 20 here, commonly around the low teens. Spring is here but the temps are still cold...maybe it's the volcanic ash in the high atmosphere.

[mor_than_this]

It's one of those heat waves we have here in summer and autumn. It can be worse than summer, but doesn't last long.

When I read "Memnoch" and Lestat was in Jerusalem, he described a weather very similar to this one, with the air full of dust rising from the desert. It must have been one of those heat waves, because usually the air is very clear in the mountains of Jerusalem. :)

Though not much dust today, just heat.

Is the volcanic ash apparent in any way? Or you just "know it's there" because it's on the news?

[mor_than_this]

Thanks :)

[mor_than_this]

Oh, this is silly, I know 50 and 60 year old people online who never tire of vampires. I hope that when the new website opens enough people will be there.

Truth is, for a very long time now I stopped writing about my feelings here in my journal, or share them publicly in any way. I had my reasons for doing that back then, but it made me feel lonelier I guess. This entry is unlocked, I give openness another chance, maybe it'll strengthen old friendships, or start new ones.