pack the wound with salt i want to feel it bleed

[morbid_devotion]

Slit Wrists

slit wrist and broken hearts,
all that lives in this world,
will never work

One Good Thing

lifes about bunnies and happy things
but we all know thats not all its about
when im with you
nothing was worng
all i knew what that i was in love
and that nothing could happen to me

you were my high
my one good thing

i wish that i could be with you
all the day long
but the times changes
and so do people

now we cant be
what we always thought we would
but in my heart
you will always be.

My Mind

lost soul
completely gone
wish that he would say
what he really means

all i know
is what my mind says

wish i could shake it
wish i could leave
but all i know
is that i love him so

my mind races
as i try to help
but all i can do
is what i do best

slit wrists
and shattered souls
these scars there deep
that's all i really know

Hell

the other day, coming home from the hell i cant escape, all i could think about is the dayse that ive spent with you, laying in the sand, shirts off, keeping worm by sitting really close, now all that i have are those faded memories, and the letters that now speak with no meaning. all i wanted was one last kiss, one last night of peace away from the fighting and hate. but that night never came. you died inside your head beucase they locked you away, thinking that we would forget what we came to take back.

Wish

laying on that forsaken beach
our bodys caressed for that last time that night
our eyes locked in a frenzy of what we wished could be spoken, but know that it would not be right

list souls
absentminded of what was out there

the shooting stars break our beildered gase
and you tell me
in the sofest tone,
to make a wish

you know that i would wish,
the one wish that has been on both our minds
that we could leave this barren waste land
and start our life

but with these balls and chains
that hold us where we are
all we can do
is wish

Battle

its a losing battle, that i know i will never win. no matter how hard i try, it will always come back to the voice in my head telling me that i hate you when really i know i love you. but when things come down to it, all i will ever do, is morn the loss of my men. the battle will turn to war, and within that war, more will die, and it will come back to me hating myself for not letting you go.

Dead

taking the razor to my arm,
suicied is the sweetest thing,
when all you have is dead and gone

Dead Lovers

lack of insperation,
wish i knew
what was going threw your head
now its over
we will love no more
things will go unsaid
i knew that you were too good to be ture
for once its come down
down to this
life or death.

this blade is sharp
it will send my numb body into a crimson revolt
blood gushes from my arm and lips
i hope you like the taste
becuase it is all thats left

dead lovers come to conect
with what they once had
and wish that they still had

but
lack of insperation,
wish i knew
what was going threw your head
now its over
we will love no more

Forever

Alone. Forgotten. Outcast.
Words. Whispered. Around.
Noises. Sound. Loud. Soft.
Forever.

Death. Heartache. Remorse.
Lies. Rumors. False assumptions.
Beautiful. Rich. Perfection.
Forever.

Drugs. Bullies. Parties.
Sex. Regret. Rape.
Theft. Destruction. Arrest.
Forever.

Four yeas in hell,
Surrounded by abandonment.
We can’t wait to escape into the real world,
But it follows.
No matter what we do,
This will be the days that will prove who we are
In the end,
The last four yeas are,
Forever.

Thoughts

Thoughts written down
On this last night of freedom
Inspired by words of those much older
All that can come of this
Is what they don’t want
Sorrow and misery
Masked by this fake happiness

Fake smiles from people who I will never know
Pass as he fades in the sunset

All we ever wanted
Was to be together

But all they wanted was money
And what they never had

Their close minded
Never letting him express who he really is
I wish upon this starry night
That I will escape this life that they have planed out
And live happily with my love

New Year

Looking back at the year at hand a lot has gone one,
Romances have blossomed, and withered away,
Horrors have accrued while miracles have shown there is more to life,
Everyone had taken in more then they know,
With hopes of better days,
No on knows that tomorrow will bring,
So keep a good look on life and done think of the bad because,
A new year has just begun!

Titleless Love

On the eve that our eyes met,
You knew
As well as I
That this world was not ready for people like us and what we were ment to do.
Separated by miles of road
We made things happen
People thought
That we should be apart
All because of what we stand for
Love and happiness was all we wanted
To be together and how that love conquers even the smallest fears.
But they made it imposable
So together we vowed to be
I love you were the last words we whispered to each other
And you sweet soft kiss would be the last thing that I would ever taste
With our hands locked
We took a step of faith to shoe the world we would not be stopped by mere threats of separation and ridicule
We feed each other the poison that would seal our hearts with what we thought would show
Show what it was like to be young and in love

Sky

When all is lost look to the sky and think of all the people out there doing the same, then one day you will find that one true love that will hold you and never let go cause they know that you are perfect with all your flaws

Feel

Its the way I feel, I cant deny it any longer, I wish that you would just tell me how you feel so we could stop playing these bull shit games. It’s the way I feel, like no one cares that I’m just a face in the crowd, another girl to be called yours, nothing but a toy. Well you’re wrong! I put all my heart into it and was ready to give it all up. But you just wanted sex. Well I don’t like people who lie, so tell the truth, do those 3 little words mean anything or was it all just a way to get what you want? This is the way I feel, I hope that it will change and we can have the perfect romance

Corner

Sitting in the corner I stop to dry my tears and think of how much I miss you. I stop to think of everything we had. The love, the hate, the friendship and the devotion. It’s all so clear to me now that it was we were always ment to be. But now you’re gone and I'm stuck sitting here with that empty feeling of nothingness. Now i realize that you’re gone and i will never get u back. The only thing i can say is that i hope that you had fun while it lasted but you had to take that chance. But that chance you took has killed us both. While I’m in haven, you’re in hell burning because you took the deadly chance and did drugs. I hope you resize that now we will never have the life we always wanted.

Sorry

I'm sorry for all that things that I said,
That made you feel as if it was something you did to make me feel sad,
I'm sorry for all the things that I didn’t do,
I know I could have done so much more
You were always there for me
Helped me feel better when I fucked things up

{Pre Chorus}
That sad look in your eyes when you get hurt
Always breaks my heart
It brings tears to my eyes knowing that I did this to you but,

{Chorus}
I’ve wasted countless sleepless nights
Staring at the ceiling thinking
Will I ever see his face
Will I ever make him feel like he has a place in this cruel useless world, and have someone to hold at night

I wish I could take your hardships away
Make you happy all the time
But I'm only one girl, one living creature but I will try my best
I'm sorry for the days where I took it too far
Made you feel like you were the one who fucked up, not me

{Pre Chorus}
{Chorus}

I'm sorry for the days where you thought that I was with some one else
Someone who would replace you
I'm sorry for the nights you spent walking by yourself thinking about death
Because I did something that made you feel like that

{Pre Chorus}
{Chorus}

I swear to you that I will do my best
My best to bring a smile to your face
To be more then just the one you have to help
Make sure that I never hurt you
But for now sorry is all I can say

{Pre Chorus}
{Chorus}

Kiss

As the blood drips down her arms
she kisses him good bye
he’s the last thing that she will ever taste
because it is the last breath she will ever take

he looks down at the cold morbid corps lying in his arms
her face as white as snow
a puddle of blood surrounds him

now his life has been torn to pieces
as his silent screams fill the room
but knows that no ones there and she’s too far gone
the only thing that he can hear is his tears hitting the floor

it’s his fault she’s gone
he could have been there in her time of need
so as he picks up the now bloody razor
tears filled of melancholy (hatred) now run down his cheek
he will kiss her one last time to taste what’s left
Then let his blood run free so that he can be with his one true love.

Stupid

I'm stupid and you can’t change that,
I fuck everything up
No matter what
Big or small
I'm no use
Just another useless life
I'm just taking up space
I'm just a waste of this good air
Someone should kill me off
Only one would care
He’s my life
My pride
I love him to death
He would be there for me
No matter what
But
They’ve taken him away
The one person keeping me here
I'm so fuckin stupid
To have them take him away
I think now’s my time
My time to go
It’s been a great 15 years
But that time is
Now

Four Walls

Four walls
No escape
Out stretched arms
Are all i see
But i can not reach
Something’s holding me back
These fears to fall
To have no one at all
Are the reasons that i’m
At a loss for words
Nothing can save me now
But the knowledge
Of the bloody corpses
Of past lovers
Haunt my every move
And make it so
I can’t do anything at all
Now i have him
To always bring me back
To the world that will always bring me down

Come And Go

I saw you there.
Eyes so bright ,
I knew that it would feel right,
It did,
I loved it,
But it’s gone,
It was a one time thing,
It will never come again.

Sleep

Lay with me will I fall asleep,
All I need is you,
You’re my fiend, my hero.
I love the way you smile, and the way you touch my face,
Your lips so soft and lushes,
I yearn to feel them again,
So lay with me till I fall asleep and be mine always,
Cause your all I will ever need.

Pain

There’s a pain that's deep within,
It yearns and burns to get out but you won’t let it,
Surprised by the fear that consumes your world,
It seems each day you get stronger but in the end, hurt more then ever,
You suffer because you know the love that you strive so hard for will never be,
So darkness comes and takes you way to where chaos and corruption live,
Stuck in that world like a coma you seem dead,
All you need to do is open your eyes and see what you have,
You have the world all you need to do is see it and take advantage of it.

Love

hes the only thing on her mind,
like a plegue he haunts her thoughts,
she cant hid anything from him
he sees the things that she feels
and then some

sometimes she wishs that she could just make him disaper
make him go away
have him be like everyone else that she has ever met
but he just keeps coming back
keeps being there

hes like the savour that she never had
through her life people laughed
taunted and made fun
the only way out is to do the one thing that people dont aprove of
make the lines
little blood filled lines that tell the story

they say what she wants to hear but no one truely understands
but now that hes there
she has one more reason to live

Love Be Gone

He loves her but she doesn’t love him
He would give the world to her but she just doesn’t give in
He wishes that he could be with her now but knows it will never happen
So he takes the gun and shoots himself because the girl he loves isn’t with him
Now that he’s gone she sees what she could have had
The best thing that ever happened to her is now dead
So with this tale she learned that you have to look within because they might be the best thing that you might ever have.

Dear Friend

As tears fall down my cheek I stop to think
I think of all the things we’ve done
We’ve never really talked but I still consider you a friend.

I know that you don’t like me that much and that I can be a pain
But remember that I will always be with you

So now that you’re so far away always remember this
You will always be in my heart and in my mind
If you ever need someone to talk to ill be here for you

When ever you’re sad I hope that you read this and it will make you see that no matter where you are or what you do you will always have friends here and that we will never give up on you!

The One

When I look in your eyes I get lost in your soul
Its like I'm dreaming of how I wished I lived
Everything so perfect
But what’s even better is when you go deep within me and then we kiss
Your lips on mine, mine on yours,
Our tongues tied within each other
Kissing you takes away all my problems away
I feel complete
But this kiss cannot last
So once we pull away I look in your eyes and realize that as long as I have you I will be fine

Forget Me Not

Forget me not when I'm gone
Will you still love me?
Will you miss me?
I know that you will always be in my heart
No matter that happens
I will always be there
Till the end
Death do us part
I will always love you!

Mask

In this world, this place, you take everything away from me.
Piece by piece i can’t help but feel like this mask is sliping off.
And as i get lost in the darkness of my life,
The last few pieces of this mask gets’ lost with me.
And now as the last pieces of the mask fad away
I feel something that i have never felt in almost all my life...
I feel free

Love

Love,
Love is for every on,
It seems we all want a piece,
Girls and boys,
Boys and girls,
It’s all there,
It seems that everyone has some but me,
I can't help but notice that the thing I miss the most is,
Love.

To You

We were close
We did everything together
From shopping to sleepovers
We did it all
But when you meet “her” that all changed
At first we were all tight
We’d hang and stuff but after time I got dumped
Now I'm in the dark
I'm alone and everyone ditches me
Since I'm dead to you I might as well be dead
I'm now going to end this once and for all
It was fun but when worst comes to worst just kill yourself
Right?

That Voice

Thinking of what you said
That they were real
So then if they tell me to kill should i kill?
If they tell me to die should i die?
I don’t know
Theres too many
Wishing and staying in this land id the only way out
To her I'm dead, to him I'm dead, to everyone I'm dead
So why don’t i just die?

Untitled

Like a beautiful forgotten rose
I write my last words
Everything comes down to this
All the shit that I feel
I will no longer show

So strung out
I tried to show the real me
But now
What is it worth?
Showing people
And having them not care

It’s a depressing thought
To think that one can fell the way I do

Happy, scared, angered, and confused
Nothing good can come of it
Music and love were all I ever wanted
Now it comes down to paranoia and obsession

Night after night
Laying in bed thinking
‘Why cane I be a better girlfriend?’
‘Why cant I ever let myself be happy?’

But my mind works in fucked up ways
So this is the last thing that will be written
I will no longer let it be known

Inside will be me
Bottled up
Never to be let out again

Tears

Tears fall down her pale and scattered face,
Mascara runs with each tear that falls.
She looks down at her arm,
Red blood filled lines begin to appear.
She’s numb to the pain,
As if its nothing at all.
Each drag draws another little bubble,
Each time she drags deeper and deeper,
Hoping that one time she drags it,
That with that one little line someone will notice the pain that she has within her,
But its like no one cares that she hurts inside.
Love has failed her time and time again,
The ones she thought were there for her,
Now just think she’s trash.
But then in the wind theres a whisper,
Sweet but sad words,
Tell her that there is more to life then fallen loves.
That with time things will get better,
If she would just look within,
Past all the hatred toward the world,
Past all the anger that she has bottled up,
That she would find out that she has so much to live for.
She could have a life full of love and not hate,
But all she has to do if find that one person that will make her stride for what she’s wanted all along,
That boy that will think that she is perfect with all her flaws,
A boy how will show her that with every inch of failure comes a foot of happiness.
And happiness is all she wants

Surrounded

Surrounded by these four walls again
There’s no where to go
No where to run
Rambling words fade to black
They’re like a prison holding me back.
Its time to break out
And time to let go
Adrenaline pumps
As the day comes to an end.
Let your soul become free
Each drag
Each breath
Each bubble that comes
Takes you to the place where you want to be.
Its like your mind is wondering
In the only place you want to be
All you want to do is see his face
To have him hold you in his arms
And kiss your teary face
But they’re holding you back
Compressing the love within
They hold you down with your only fear
Consuming your soul
The turned you into the monster you are today
But now’s the time to let go
To take it back
What is rightfully yours.

War

War does strange things to people like him,
He did nothing to you, nor to me but be bright and speak his mind,
His eyes a misty blue as he holds the rest of his family,
Tears cascade down his cheeks as he thinks of what happened.

War does strange things to people like him,
Hearing the people scream as the missile hits the ground, and shots from guns ring in the background
His mom and dad dead, and his sister is yet to be found.

War does strange things to people like him,
Thinking of the life he would have had,
But now has nothing but hate for the land we call home,
Because we took everything he had
And every thing that he ever wanted.

Enough

to say it is enough
to just sit outside
and take the time out of our hectic lives.
to feel the wind blow in our faces
and have the sun beat on our backs.
the trees tell us in an unspoken manner
that its good for the mind
and more so for the soul,
to just lay out in the grass
and look at the blue sky as white puffy clouds pass us by.
like a forsaken cone
just wasting the day away,
we should all take the time to gaze at the flowers
and become content enough
to just say
it is enough.

Carve

Taking the safety-pin and making these lines,
I make a beautiful design,
As the area turns red my skin begins to puff,
To some it would hut and they would, but I am numb to the pain,
As I hold back hot tears I listen to the faint words that drown my sorrows,
Once it’s done it will be beautiful like a tat that cost nothing,
The only cost id the knowledge that it is wrong,
But it is a force of habit to bring my pain down,
So while most play and have fun, I carve everything away.

Sleep Time

Darkness comes
And its time to sleep
So lay your and shut your eyes and go to sleep
Once you’re gone you will be ruler in your own land of dreams
You can be what you want
Do what you want and no one will care
If your prude you can kiss a million guys and be fine
If you’re a virgin you can fuck everyone you meat and not be a hoe
You can kill and no be a murderer
But once you start BOOM your alarm goes off and within a mille second you’re brought back
Back to this world with rules and laws that you have to go by
But soon enough it will be time
Time to go back to that land where we all wished we lived!

Shunned

You left me here,
Shunned on my own,
The darkness comes and steals my soul,
I can never go back to the land I love,
And you will never see a smile

Fallen Love

Is it wrong or is it right?
Your whole life you’ve waited for this night,
To take the chance,
To go for it or leave it all behind,
It came and went in a blink of an eye,
Romance is a funny thing,
What seems real never lasts,
And what seems fake always does,
It fucks with your mind,
Only leaves memories behind
You want it so bad but know it will never work,
So do what’s right and follow your heart and never your mind
Cause life screws us all and,
Pain is inevitable, it’s with you no matter what you do,
Suffering is optional, it’s only what you make of it,
If it doesn’t work out take what you’ve learned,
The memories and happiness,
And never give up in the end!

John's Poem

You are my good and my bad,
You make me happy when I'm sad,
You always bring a smile to my face,
No matter how much of an ass you look like,
You are my ups, never my downs
You bring my joy, even thought you are never around,
I'm always missing you, and you know you’re always in my dreams

I love how you look at me and the way you hold my hand,
I love the stupid things you say and I love the way you make me feel inside,
If I had one wish, you know id wish for this.

It’s the way you always know what I'm taking about, and the way you love me for who I am and not what I look like,
But what I love the most, is it what you always keep me coming back for more, and that you will always care,
So what I'm trying to say, is that you are mine, and I am yours
Please never leave me because if you do, you know what ill do.
I love you with all my heart, this much it true

To Mike

Running on low
Can't think
Brain numb
Music blast as I try to think,
As these words run on,
All I can think about is you,
You held me and kissed me
You were my first and it was the best day of my life,
But now you’re gone,
You said we would be together and it would be ok
But now you’re with her
I thought that it was ok,
Cause I'm running on low
My brain is numb
And as this music blasts
All I feel is loneliness!

Untitled 7

(Inspired by “My December” by Linkin Park)
This is my world
Where everything
Is perfect
To you it is stupid
But this is my time
I rule

But in this world I have nothing
No friends
No feeling
No love
I wish I could take it back
Take back what I did to deserve this
If I could
I would give up all my riches just to be with you
I wish that it would just go away
Be it true I love it here!
Because I can never
Get hurt

Away

With every breath I take,
I feel that there is no escape,
Eyes that watch,
With harsh thoughts behind them,
It’s the only way out,
It’s the only thing left,
No one can help,
Because these thoughts are bound and locked.

If wishes could come true,
I would wish my self away,
To some place far away,
There would be the key that would set me free.
Of these thoughts that I have.

Paranoia sets in,
And it seems there is no end,
This world watches hard,
And lets no one go,
Voices call,
But no ones there,
This is the only way,
This is the end.

If wishes could come true,
I would wish my self away,
To some place far away,
There would be the key that would set me free.
Of these thoughts that I have.

These voices still scream,
About things unseen,
I wish I could make them go,
So this is the end,
I will take it all,
It’s for the best,
Because no one cares,
I’m just a face in the crowed,
That’s no one knows,
But,

If wishes could come true,
I would wish my self away,
To some place far away,
There would be the key that would set me free.
Of these thoughts that I have.

Battle And War

In this war no one will win
It’s me vs. you,
You vs. me,
As I stand here
Front of the line
I can see my men fall
But I know the battle has just begun
It is now that I see that I will always win the battle but almost always lose the war
Because in this war no one will ever win!

Alone

Sitting in that room,
It seems she is all alone,
No on can see the true person that she is,
An artist surprised behind a hidden fear,
She is the girl, who one day will be famous,
She can make you laugh when you don't have a smile,
She can make you feel alive, when you feel there is nothing to live for,
But no one ever noticed that she had that fear,
The fear not to be loved.
She did every thing just to fit in,
But no one seemed to care,
So she took her life into her own hands.

Record

It seems like a record player is stuck on repeat,
These words keep playing over and over in my head,
Should I make them stop?
Should I fuckin shoot them all?
I wish that I could just kill them all
One by one,
Ill takes them all out.
Like flies they’ll drop!
With this gun to their head,
Have them plead for fuckin mercy
Have them cry for their mommies.
Fuck ‘em like they did me
Till I cant no more and the gun is on me
That will be the day I will be free of this curse of a consumes,
It will be gone,
The would will rejoice,
But ‘till then fuck it I'm just dead.

Kill It

Cutting deep
Blood begins to shed
Lines so thing can hardly be seen
Harsh consequences
But it doesn’t matter
As long as the deed is done.
Keep going
Mustn’t stop
Just a little bit more
‘Till theres none left
One last breath,
This time get it right
Do it deep enough that it kills all that’s left

One Mind

One light
One mind
That’s all I am
Emotions compiled
Compressed within

Love string out
In this world
I am me
That's all
I am
One light
One mind

Striving in this world
Alone

I can be the cure
Or the disease

Loud or soft
All at once
Many faces
All in one
So what I'm saying is
I am
One light
One mind

Here to shine
To you and everyone else
I might not be bright
I may not be hott
But I am
One light
One mind

I can love
And I can kill
To you I'm just a girl
But to me I'm a life
I live
I breathe
I Hurt and
I Cry
But mainly
I am
One light
One mind
One girl
And that’s all
I am!

Razor

Sitting here razor in hand
Blood dripping down my arm
For the first time I feel in control
This feeling is nice
I know it’s wrong
I know I can die but it feels so right
In my room
Lights off
Music blasting
I feel free from the world we live in
With rules and laws
The shit we have to go by
They control everything
But for once I feel like I'm in control of my own life
As I make these lines the blood drips on the bed and it looks like clouds
So as I sit here
Razor in hand
Blood dripping down my arm
I feel that sense of control
Until that day were I cut too deep and
Die

That Day

The day came
Where I had to choose
The love I once had, or the one I cherished more then life itself.
Both equally good
The one had its up
But more downs then I know what to do with
He was my god,
Id do anything to save what I wished could last.
But then one night I met this amazing, warm, and loving guy,
Who I found, with every passing minuet, was like my other half,
That night I fell hard and fast,
But I was still very devoted to the one I thought I loved,
So that night came and went,
And I was back to all I had,
Months passed and my love continued to grow wiry, because in the back of my mind was this guy,
Someone who understood who I was
But I knew id never see him again and I had grown accustom to being in this spot where every thing was wrong,
But neither he nor I wanted to let go of what we thought was real.
Then one night me and my love went to a show
And my world came crashing down.
In that room was him
He stood there,
Eyes glowing,
A smile creped on hid pale face when he spotted me across the floor.
It was like his whole life was coming together,
Nothing was right,
Then his spirit, at that very moment, was lifted back up, and the mile high wall he built because of past failure and heartache, came crashing down.
The whole night came to an end,
But I didn’t want it to, because I knew that once I stepped out of that building, I would lose the guy who I know was the one,
But I was still very much accustom to the relationship that I had built on lies,
So the months went on again and I put the guy, who everyone knew was perfect for me, in the back of my mind.
Then one day, fed up with all the lies and deception, we called that far from perfect relationship off.
And as if on cue, of my life being so screwed up
I got a call from the guy who I thought was only in my memories and dreams, asking to help me and if I would take a chance and be more then his friend, but be with him, and make a smile appear on his face.
I took that chance and was happy.
But just shy of two months,
The day came where I had to choose
The love which once was,
Or the one which, as the days passed was getting better and better,
So now I sit in this room filled with so much hate.
The love, who took my heart and shoved a chain saw throw it, lay in a glossy puddle of blood to my right,
And the love who took that broken heart and started to put it back together,
Lay cold and morbid to my left.
As I pick up the head of my dead lover, blood gushes into my lap.
Now that I'm next to the one who shall forever have my love and heart, the one who will die with me,
I will pick up the gun, in which was used to put a hole in his heart and brain,
I will shoot my foot,
Then point the gun at me chest,
Because with out the one in my lap,
I am nothing

^those are almost all of the poems that i have writen..hope you like..even though NO one read this (yes Kati, i know you do...).^ i was really bored and didnt feel like letting people know wahts up in my life.  so im off to do math h/w

<3

~Me~
Adam-Im sorry for your loss =(