(no subject)
Wow.
Lots has happened.
I have realized a couple important things about my life.
I have the GREATEST friends anyone could ask for.
I have realized that I have the most amazing best friend I could ever ask for.
That there are some people I just can't live without.
I learned that my friends mean everything to me.
I found out that I can't do THIS anymore if I want my life to be unfucked up.
As in no more pill popping kuz look what it does to me.
Regaurdless.
It's interesting though.
Trent and I were talking last night and we realized something.
No matter WHAT I am doing.
I always have to be hurting myeslf in some way shape or form.
It's ridiculous.
Whether I'm slicing my arms up to a bloody pulp.
Drinking for weeks day after day till my liver eats away.
Starving myself till there's nothing left.
Or doing drugs and overdosing on boxes and boxes of pills day after day until my body falls apart.
I can't even remember how many times it's been.
God.
Alot of fucking times.
It's definately up there.
But I'm okay now.
I see alot of changes about to happen.
My weight is kinda that same it's BEEN.
107 ish.
I do wanna pop pills really bad but I know if I do nothing good will come out of it in the long run.
Shure I'll have the time of my life for one night but in the end I have nothing.
That;s the problem with me though.
I am a moment liver.
I will give up everything for one great night.
Just gotta get rehab over with.
Gotta go to these damn NA meetings.
GOtta earn back my trust.
Gotta make things right with some people.
High pictures are great.
Take care you guys.
I love you all.
