YOu need to post more often. And get better at spelling. Manor!=manner.
I rather like the second story though. You have a rather odd writing style. I like it, although it contrasts strangely with the second story. Though that could be just me.
There is something to be said for silence; however those who know what it is don’t speak very much. I like that.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that comes up with just sentences. Though they always seem so lonely without a story to go with them.
I really like that silence thing too...and it's especially great for me b/c since The New School from Hell has begun I've been especially silent and antisocial throughout the day. I can't help it. They scare me and make me want to shake them. Hard.
Okay, commentses on the writing, which I should've done ages ago but never did (sorry) -
Regarding the writer's block thing - hee. Clever.
Regarding the graveyard thing - something that immediately stood out to me was the part about "ravaged her beautiful body". Somehow, that doesn't work for me. It sort of puts a very odd, very "oh, this is what this is about" spin on the story, and then it just turns into one of those sad little epilogue scenes at the end of an SVU. I think it would've worked better if you'd left out the beautiful body part and just left the bad things to the reader's imagination. (Just me).
Also, somewhere in there there's this random "where the man went" and I remember reading it and going "whaaat?"
The story was actually going to be about the man going and talking to her, but i couldn't really make it work... He was going to be from and adoptive agency, and she wasn't going to say anything or go with him at all. But it just didn't fit... or, rather, i didn't bother rewriting it so that it would. Good thought on taking "ravaged her beautiful body," out...
Comments 5
I rather like the second story though. You have a rather odd writing style. I like it, although it contrasts strangely with the second story. Though that could be just me.
There is something to be said for silence; however those who know what it is don’t speak very much.
I like that.
I'm glad I'm not the only one that comes up with just sentences. Though they always seem so lonely without a story to go with them.
Reply
we should come up with a big list of just sentences...
Reply
Reply
Regarding the writer's block thing - hee. Clever.
Regarding the graveyard thing - something that immediately stood out to me was the part about "ravaged her beautiful body". Somehow, that doesn't work for me. It sort of puts a very odd, very "oh, this is what this is about" spin on the story, and then it just turns into one of those sad little epilogue scenes at the end of an SVU. I think it would've worked better if you'd left out the beautiful body part and just left the bad things to the reader's imagination. (Just me).
Also, somewhere in there there's this random "where the man went" and I remember reading it and going "whaaat?"
Reply
Good thought on taking "ravaged her beautiful body," out...
Reply
Leave a comment