Fantasy vs. Reality

[morbidmusings]

There seems to be a running theme going on with my loved ones and, well, not-so-loved-ones. It's this constant need for people to project fantasy into their relationships because they just can't face reality. For example, you (this is the royal you, as I have no desire to put others' personal problems on display) have a relationship with someone.

Comments

[that6tall2girl]

I feel you with the toxic friends.
A lot of people think Pete and I are "unromantic", but really, to us, we're not. We see ourselves as both being in the same corner of a boxing ring and pulling the same plow together. I guess the boxing metaphor denotes that we've got one anothers' backs, and the ox one seems like we're working toward the same goals. Sure, sometimes it blows, but we know where we're going and we know the other will be supportive. Not too long ago, a tipsy Pete asked me what I saw in him, and one of the things I told him was that I trust him.

Relationships with other humans are hard. We're all so tender in certain places and tough in others, and no two people have the same strengths and weaknesses.

[morbidmusings]

I like your perspective. That's as it should be. I once had a friend tell me that her perfect man would be like Link from The Legend of Zelda. Someone who would go to the ends of the earth to rescue her and defend her. That's all well and good and swoony romantic la la la, but it's so not reality. We live in this world. There is no need for a guy to come riding in on a white horse to "rescue" me. I don't need rescuing. I can take care of myself. My current post talks about how I'm into the game Skyrim right now. I play as a female dragon slayer. You know what? I'll do the rescuing, thank you. I just think it's silly to hold men (and women) up to these fantastical standards. Just live your life, be good to each other, and take care of yourself. It's really not a bad reality to have.

[that6tall2girl]

Ugh. The "rescue" fantasy. Yes, it's nice when you hold the door, but um, I can open them too. After all, I did get out of the house by myself this morning. Likewise, do not expect me to do the cleaning simply because I have a vagina. You're so manly, you can jiggle a dust rag once in a while. I adhere to a lot of gender roles, but not ALL of them.

I think a lot of issues in relationships, both romantic and platonic, stem from unrealized expectations. There can't be too much talking, really. Himself and I rarely fight, because if we're upset, we talk about it. Small things don't get stored up into huge lists of grievances for a big blowup.

I guess in both cases, we all have to realize that we're not perfect, and thus, no one else is.