And stop saying "distaff side" or "distaff version" when you mean it's a bloke equivalent of a female something-or-other. You have to use "male equivalent" or "male version," until I tell you that you are big and clever enough to say "spear side." That's spear. NOT DISTAFF. DISTAFF DOES NOT MEAN OPPOSITE. DISTAFF IS FOR CHICKS, SPEAR IS FOR
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The male version of this is "spear side." But people hearing the first version tend to assume that distaff must mean opposite, and use "distaff version" to refer to male counterparts of female characters.
I can't put my finger on why, but this annoys me almost as much as "decapitated head."
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"Blenda was basically your typical sixteen year-old woman - she more-or-less enjoyed picking flowers, plowing fields, and fighting off full-scale invasions from neighboring militaries - and when she heard word that the Danes were coming, she took it upon herself to get all the women of the land together to devise a way to withstand the inevitable onslaught of beards, swords, and more (even bigger) beards."
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