These aren't the most coherent of Sam feels but word vomit happened anyway.
Reposting from where I rambled earlier in spn-party.
Every time I see S1 or S2 Sammy something twists in my chest and I want to destroy everything evil chasing him and then wrap my arms around him in the best comforting hug I possess.
His life went wrong before he was even born and it’s just. not. fair. He had a semblance of a childhood only because Dean did everything he could to provide him with one and then. The monsters were all real. His world crashed around his ears. He was a child and normality was no longer even a dream; the idea was outright laughable. Post-Stanford Sam still looked like Sammy, young and innocent and impressionable, while he’d already been tempered into a fucking warrior. He sought to run away, he was dragged back and everything…
It sucks and my soul bleeds because of all the shit that’s been done to the kid. And here, in the early seasons? It’s nothing compared to the literal Hell awaiting him. Not even close. The machinations of Heaven and Hell, angels and demons and the devil himself, Mystery Spot, the Cage, Dean and Cas torn away and trapped in Purgatory, the wall in his mind and Hallucifer, Bobby and John and Ellen and Jo and Ash and everyone gone, the Trials he's suffering through in S8 - his road is long, filled with the blood of loved ones and enemies alike, and immeasurable agony.
When Sammy became a reminder of a young man who dreamt and hoped and prayed. When Sammy, faded beneath layers of torture and loss, appears like a breath of fresh faith and trust, a glimmer in his broken world trapped forever in the dark. When Sammy became frantic cry torn from Dean's throat, it pierces me to the core every damn time.
Oh. Oh Sammy. ;_____;
Every time I see S1 or S2 Sammy something twists in my chest and I want to destroy everything evil chasing him and then wrap my arms around him in the best comforting hug I possess.
His life went wrong before he was even born and it’s just. not. fair. He had a semblance of a childhood only because Dean did everything he could to provide him with one and then. The monsters were all real. His world crashed around his ears. He was a child and normality was no longer even a dream; the idea was outright laughable. Post-Stanford Sam still looked like Sammy, young and innocent and impressionable, while he’d already been tempered into a fucking warrior. He sought to run away, he was dragged back and everything…
It sucks and my soul bleeds because of all the shit that’s been done to the kid. And here, in the early seasons? It’s nothing compared to the literal Hell awaiting him. Not even close. The machinations of Heaven and Hell, angels and demons and the devil himself, Mystery Spot, the Cage, Dean and Cas torn away and trapped in Purgatory, the wall in his mind and Hallucifer, Bobby and John and Ellen and Jo and Ash and everyone gone, the Trials he's suffering through in S8 - his road is long, filled with the blood of loved ones and enemies alike, and immeasurable agony.
When Sammy became a reminder of a young man who dreamt and hoped and prayed. When Sammy, faded beneath layers of torture and loss, appears like a breath of fresh faith and trust, a glimmer in his broken world trapped forever in the dark. When Sammy became frantic cry torn from Dean's throat, it pierces me to the core every damn time.
Oh. Oh Sammy. ;_____;