FIC: Lucky Man aka The Domestic Cliché Fic
Title: Lucky Man aka The Domestic Cliché Fic
Author: morena_donn
Rating: FRT for sexual content and language
Pairing: Hotch/Morgan First Time
Word count: 5,180
Authors Note/Spoilers: Character spoilers for 6x01 - 6x03
Summary: What the title says
Beta by brindel As usual, I made some last minute changes, so any mistakes are entirely my fault.
“Hey, sweetheart, how you doing?“ Derek relaxed into the couch, smiling as he took the phone call from Ellie Spicer. It had been hard, what with the time difference and his crazy work hours, but they’d managed to talk every day since she went to live with her mom, and her calls were often the highlight of his day.
“I need to ask you a huge favor,” she said. Derek sat up straight, not liking the uncertain tone that had crept into her voice. “Mom got a letter and I kinda opened it.”
“Ellie, we’ve talked about this. I know it’s hard, but you can’t use the bad things that happened to you and your dad as an excuse to do things you know are wrong.”
“De-rek, you sound like my therapist,” she whined. “I admitted it though, that’s gotta count for something, right?” Not waiting for an answer, she forged ahead. “Anyway, what matters is she got a really cool job offer, and she’s not gonna take it ‘cause of me. So I thought, maybe I could come stay with you? It’s only three months, and I’ll be good, I promise.”
“Ellie…” Derek ran a hand over his head, trying to figure out how to refuse without making her feel rejected.
“It’s okay if you say no,” she said, although it was clear from her voice it wasn’t. She went on to outline her alternate plan - she’d somehow managed to get herself admitted to a Virginia boarding school without her mother’s knowledge but “you can make her say yes, and I can be with you on weekends.”
Derek shook his head in admiration. She was a resourceful little thing. “Okay, you win. I’ll talk to Hotch and your mom, see what we can work out,” he told her, careful not to make any promises about which option he was going to take.
******
“…and it’s only three months.” Morgan finished earnestly.
Aaron manfully resisted the urge to bang his head on his desk. “I admire your determination to do right by this girl, but I don’t think you realize what you’d be getting into. I can tell you from experience that it’s extremely difficult to do this job as a single parent. Have you thought about childcare?”
“I was thinking JJ and Will, or maybe Jessica knows somebody?”
Aaron spared a moment to give thanks for his sister-in-law. ‘Extremely difficult’ was an understatement. The truth was he didn’t think he could do his job and take care of his son without Jessica’s unwavering support. She took advantage of her self employed status to drop everything and be there whenever Aaron and Jack needed her. He knew her productivity had dropped, yet she refused to let him pay her. Understanding her reasons did nothing to override the vague feeling of guilt it left him with. He had a sudden thought. Jessica wouldn’t take his money, but maybe she’d take Morgan’s.
“Only three months?” Morgan nodded. “Jack and I have plenty of space. You could move in and hire Jessica as a nanny.“
“You sure about that?” Morgan sounded doubtful.
Aaron couldn’t blame him - it wasn’t like him to make such a major decision without thinking it out. He should take time to weigh the pros and cons, and talk to Jessica, but something about this felt right. “Absolutely,” he replied. “Jack will love having a sister and a dog.”
“I can bring Clooney?” Aaron was already regretting that part of the offer, but Morgan’s dark eyes were bright with hope, and Aaron couldn’t bring himself to crush that hope.
“Of course.” ‘In for a penny, in for a pound’, Aaron thought. It was going to be an interesting three months.
“Thanks, man. I’m gonna go call Mrs. Spicer.”
The brilliant smile Morgan wore as he left was almost enough to keep Aaron from second guessing his rash decision. Jessica had been urging him to be more spontaneous, for Jack’s sake - somehow, he doubted doubling the size of his household and adding a dog was what she’d had in mind.
******
On his second night in Hotch’s house, Derek woke to muffled screams, followed shortly by higher pitched crying. He was out of bed before he was fully awake, nearly colliding with Ellie in the hallway.
“Jack’s Daddy is having a nightmare,” she said unnecessarily. ”I think it’s scaring him.”
“You take care of Jack.“ He gave her shoulder a brief squeeze in passing. ”I’ll wake Hotch.”
******
Aaron blinked awake, nightmare images fading, replaced by the concerned visage of Derek Morgan.
“Hey man, it’s okay. You’re home, you’re safe. Jack’s safe.”
“It’s not okay. I can’t…I haven’t…”
“You haven’t had a nightmare since it’s been just you and Jack?” Morgan guessed.
Aaron nodded miserably. He couldn’t think, couldn’t stop trembling.
“Then I’d say you’re overdue,” Morgan said, gathering Aaron into his arms like he was a child. God, it felt good to let someone take care of him, if just for a moment. It couldn’t last, though. He had Responsibilities.
“Jack?” he asked, pushing ineffectually against the strong arms encircling him.
“Ellie’s got him,” Morgan replied, tightening his hold. ‘I’ve got you’ hung unspoken in the air between them.
Too tired to fight, and still trembling with residual adrenaline, Aaron allowed himself to relax against Morgan’s warm chest. The tremors quickly ceased, and Morgan gently tucked him back in bed and quietly left the room.
All too soon, Aaron was drawn from another nightmare by the welcome sound of Morgan’s voice. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his sheltering arms and stay for the rest of night, wanted it with an intensity that frightened him. That way lay madness. Instead, he sighed and turned his face into his pillow, feigning a return to deeper sleep.
***
They had the next day off. Not needing to go to work, Aaron lingered in bed. He was tired, and not ready to face Morgan after his show of weakness the previous night. Eventually lured from his room by the smell of bacon, he entered the kitchen, where he found Morgan making breakfast with Jack’s ‘help’.
“He wanted to bring you breakfast in bed,” Morgan said with a smile, indicating a bowl of Jack’s favorite sugary cereal, liberally drenched in syrup. Aaron’s teeth hurt just looking at it. “I talked him into this instead. You have dish duty.”
“I think I can handle that,” Aaron replied with a smile of his own. “Thank you.” They could both pretend he was talking about breakfast, but he felt better for saying it, if a little embarrassed by the circumstances that made an apology necessary.
“No problem, man,” Morgan replied with another smile. “Hey, careful, kid! You’re going to … spill that,” he finished as orange juice flooded the floor.
Aaron went to get a mop, and just like that, any trace of awkwardness was gone. If Morgan seemed a touch over solicitous while handing Aaron his plate, well, he had spent the morning with Jack. Aaron himself was having a little trouble switching modes from Daddy to colleague - at least that was the reason he gave himself for the way he kept wanting to touch Morgan each time he was in reach. He’d been making a concerted effort to show more physical affection for his son, and he wasn’t used to having anyone else in his home. It was just habit, not a manifestation of any inappropriate feelings he might or might not be harboring toward the younger man.
******
Another night, another nightmare. Derek sat on the edge of the bed, enjoying the warm weight of Aaron Hotchner in his arms. His hand stroking the broad back was acceptable, he thought, part of soothing Hotch after his bad dream. The kiss he wanted to place on the dark head resting against his shoulder was not. “You should get some sleep,” he said gruffly, and reluctantly released the other man.
It became a nightly routine. Sometimes Hotch would awaken fully, mutter an apology and let Derek hold him for a few moments. Other times, the sound of Derek’s voice was enough to pull him out of the dark places in his head, and he’d settle down without truly awakening. This might have continued indefinitely, or at least until one or the other of them collapsed from sleep deprivation, but one night Hotch was caught deep in a bad dream. Derek couldn’t reach him with his voice or a light touch, and risked shaking his shoulder.
Hotch woke up swinging, and hit him hard in the face. He was fully awake immediately. “God, Derek. I’m so, so sorry. I’ll get you some ice,” he said, and fled the room.
Derek yawned widely, regretting it immediately. Damn, but his face hurt, and he was so tired. Surely it was okay to lie down for just a minute while he waited. The bed was warm, and the pillow smelled pleasantly of Hotch. Derek closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and drifted off.
******
Morgan was sound asleep when Aaron returned. Telling himself that he hadn’t hit him *that* hard, and he probably didn’t need the ice, Aaron decided not to wake him. Drawing on years of experience maneuvering a sleeping Jack from car to bed, he carefully moved his friend to a more comfortable position. Morgan’s face was buried in Aaron’s favorite pillow. He briefly considered retrieving it, but decided it wasn’t worth the risk of waking the other man when he so clearly needed sleep. Besides, there was something appealing about Morgan using his pillow, something Aaron was not going to examine further.
Aaron eased slowly into the far side of the bed, careful not to touch Morgan but drawing comfort from the warmth of his body, another thing he was reluctant to examine too closely. He slept peacefully the remainder of the night. When the alarm went off, he was surprised to find the bed empty. It was Aaron’s day to get the children ready for school; Morgan should be taking advantage of the extra half hour of sleep. Perhaps he had moved back to his own room?
Morgan’s bed was empty, too. Coffee. Aaron needed coffee to deal with this. He entered the kitchen to find a pot already made, and with his preferred Hawaiian blend, breaking their unspoken rule of ‘he who wakes first picks the roast.’
There was a note as well: ‘Got some errands to run, took my bike to work. See you there.’
Aaron poured himself a cup of coffee, unable to stop smiling as he savored it for the gift it was. His good mood lasted until he got to work and Dave cornered him in his office. The older man gestured towards the bullpen, where Morgan sat. The bruise on his cheekbone was visible from here. Aaron winced. ‘Ouch. I should have woken him for the ice, after all.’
“What happened? You and Derek have a lover’s spat?”
Aaron knew Dave was just being Dave, but it put him on the defensive. “I had a nightmare,” he replied tersely. He knew it was a mistake the moment he said it. Dave’s shrewd eyes scrutinized his face, zeroing in on the bags under his eyes.
“Happening a lot, is it?”
“Two or three times a night, ever since Morgan and Ellie moved in. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he admitted.
“I’d venture a guess that having another adult there, you feel safe for the first time in two years, and your subconscious is letting go.”
“Well, I wish it would stop.”
“Aaron, it’s okay to feel.”
Aaron shook his head. “No, it’s not. He fell asleep in my bed last night, Dave.” ‘Why the hell did I tell him that?’
Dave quirked a brow. “And…?”
“And nothing. When I woke this morning, he was gone.” Aaron didn’t mention the coffee - it was none of Dave’s business, and he was bound to read into it something that wasn’t, that couldn’t be, there.
“No more nightmares?”
“No.” Aaron admitted grudgingly.
“Then maybe you should sleep together more often,” Dave said with a smile, but while the tone was light, his eyes were serious.
***
Aaron was not going to take Dave’s ridiculous suggestion, but when he retired for the night he found Morgan in his bed, clad in what were clearly newly purchased pajamas.
“I thought I’d crash here tonight. It seemed to help, and we could all use the sleep.” Morgan sounded endearingly uncertain, and it wouldn’t be fair to make him waste the money he’d spent. Aaron didn’t ask him to leave. There were no nightmares that night, or the next.
***
The third night Morgan spent in Aaron’s bed he was awakened not by a nightmare, but by a feeling of warmth and contentment. By the time he’d puzzled out the reason (Morgan was spooned up behind him, one arm slung over his hip) the other man was awake as well, mortification obvious in the unnatural stiffness of his body.
Aaron hastened to reassure him. “Don’t worry, I think it was inevitable when sharing a bed. You don’t have to move,” he said, placing a hand on the arm resting against his stomach. Morgan sucked in a breath, staying unnaturally still. ‘Wrong course of action'. Aaron removed his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“No, no, I’m good,” Morgan finally found his voice and the ability to move, tightening his arm around Aaron’s waist. Aaron put his hand back. Morgan’s sleeve had ridden up; the skin under Aaron’s palm was pleasantly warm. He slipped easily back into sleep.
******
It was Derek’s turn with the kids. He shut the alarm off on the first ring; he didn’t want Hotch to wake and realize that his morning wood was more than just a physiological reaction to the start of the day. Wonderful as it had been sleeping with Hotch in his arms, Derek didn’t think the other man was ready to acknowledge that it had been more than just ‘inevitable when sharing a bed’, at least on Derek’s part.
Hell, he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready himself. He’d worked long and hard not to let the abuse he’d suffered as a youth change his sexuality. He’d just begun to realize that he liked Jimmy Davies as much if not more than his sister Kate, when Carl Buford came along with his ruinous ‘salvation’. He hadn’t let it stop him from finding men attractive, but he’d never actually acted on that attraction. Women were attractive too, and so much easier.
He wondered if he’d have the courage (or stupidity) to invite himself back into Hotch’s bed after coming dangerously close to revealing what he felt. He was both disappointed and relieved when they were called away on a case, and he didn’t get the chance to find out.
******
It had been a long day, but sleep was elusive. Aaron tried telling himself that he was missing his own bed, and not Morgan’s presence in it, but he wasn’t entirely sure he believed it. He was also a bit worried about the possibility of nightmares. It was one thing to admit their existence to Dave, quite another to have the rest of the team experience one first hand. He didn’t know how well soundproofed his hotel room was, and had no desire to find out. Although, he reasoned, Morgan was next door and would probably come before anyone else awakened. The thought reassured him more than it ought to, and he finally slept.
***
“You sleep okay?” Morgan asked, joining Aaron for breakfast.
Aaron just barely refrained from blurting out the truth: ‘I dreamed of kissing you, and I liked it’. He shuddered to think of what might have happened if he’d had those dreams with Morgan in his bed. “Yes, thank you. It seems your nights of moonlighting as a human security blanket are over.”
“That’s good to hear,” Morgan replied with a smile that seemed…off, somehow. Prentiss chose that moment to turn up, and Aaron gratefully turned his attention to the case.
******
It was late afternoon when they finally got home. Hotch invited Jessica to stay for awhile, and they settled in for an evening of pizza and movies. Derek left Hotch to set up the DVD player while he and Ellie got drinks from the kitchen. Once everyone was served he sat, leaving space between himself and Hotch for Ellie, but she plopped down between Derek and Jessica instead, shoving Derek sideways to make room. He found himself sitting thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder with Hotch, who was crammed into the corner with Jack on his lap and couldn’t move. It made it difficult to concentrate on the movie, but Derek couldn’t say that he minded.
Sometime during the evening, a warm arm settled around Derek’s shoulders. He looked at Hotch, who nodded apologetically at Jack, now sleeping stretched across both their laps. Derek smiled and sent the kid a silent thank you. Hotch was just trying to get comfortable without disturbing his son, but he’d made it clear that Derek would no longer be sharing his bed to keep the nightmares at bay, and he’d take whatever touches he could get.
******
Aaron watched with growing concern as Morgan worked his way through a six pack of beer. They were watching his game instead of Aaron’s documentary; the least he could do was appear interested. Instead, he seemed focused on getting drunk. “I think you’ve had enough,” Aaron finally said, plucking the last bottle, unopened, from the other man’s hands.
“You’re not my mother,” Morgan replied sullenly.
“No,” Aaron agreed. He’d do well to remember that. Morgan wasn’t Jack - he couldn’t put his arms around him and hold him close until he opened up about whatever was bothering him, no matter how badly he wanted to. “But there are children present.”
“They’re in bed,” Morgan argued.
“I know. That’s why I didn’t say something earlier. I’m not your mother, but I am your supervisor and I hope your friend. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s our last fucking case. Those poor girls…Ellie…” Morgan struggled to explain.
Aaron understood perfectly. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
“I’m not really…” Morgan began sadly.
“You are, and a damned good one,” Aaron replied fiercely. “Distance won’t change that.”
“I don’t want to give her up,” Morgan admitted miserably.
“Neither do I.” Aaron wrapped an arm around Morgan’s shoulders, and the younger man relaxed against him, resting his head on Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron looked at him, bemused. This was not exactly an action he would have expected of his strong, confident friend, but he supposed it made sense - Morgan was intoxicated and upset and probably feeling just as unsettled as Aaron after a nightmare. Aaron himself was feeling a heady mix of protectiveness, affection and honor at being allowed to glimpse this moment of vulnerability. He wondered if this was how Morgan had felt, comforting him.
******
Contrary to what Hotch might think, Derek didn’t feel like any kind of father, let alone a good one. But Ellie needed a father more than a friend, and there was really no reason he couldn’t fill that roll, even long distance. He hadn’t the foggiest notion of how to go about it, but he did have a chance to learn from the best. He took to watching Hotch with the kids, and quickly realized that what he felt for the other man was not just physical attraction to someone he liked and admired. It was something deeper; he might even be falling in love.
The thought was both exhilarating (he wanted what his parents had had, and at nearly 40 had given up on ever finding it) and depressing (so many things could go wrong, there was no indication Hotch could ever return his feelings, and Derek would have to move out when Ellie left.) He also realized he was pretty darn attached to Jack. He envied the father and son. They’d miss Ellie too, but at least they’d have each other.
*******
The three months were up far too soon, and Ellie was reclaimed by her mother. Jack was devastated. Aaron was not too happy himself, but what could he do? Asking Morgan to stay was out of the question, but maybe he could be persuaded to leave the dog.
As it turned out, there was no persuasion needed. “I, um, was wondering…” It was probably just Aaron’s imagination, but Morgan looked as unhappy about packing to leave as Aaron was to see him go. “Would you like to keep Clooney? It, ah, might make things easier for Jack. I’ll pay for his food and stuff.“
“I’d appreciate that. You’ll visit him”, us he amended mentally, “often, I trust?”
“As often as you want,” Morgan replied.
Aaron refrained from pointing out that would be pretty much all the time - for Jack’s sake, of course.
******
“Agent Morgan?” Ellie’s mother was on the phone, sounding apprehensive.
“We’re raising a child together. Call me Derek,” he replied, hoping it would set her at ease, not make things worse. “Ellie means more to me than a promise I made her dad. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that,” she sighed in relief. “I’ve gotten another overseas offer and…”
“I’d be glad to take her back,” Derek said quickly. The reunion and parting might be hard on Jack, but they’d make it work.
“You must think I’m a horrible mother,” she said in a tone that made it clear she agreed.
“Not at all,” he assured her. “I’m sure it was a hard decision.” Personally, he didn’t see how anyone could pick a job over Ellie, but he was not about to say that, seeing as how it worked in his favor. “You’re not abandoning her. You’ll stay in contact, call every night.”
“I don’t know if…”
“You will call,“ he said, putting a bit of steel in his voice. Ellie was a special kid who’d had a rough time. She deserved to have as many caring adults in her life as possible. This brought something else to mind. “There’s just one thing. Ellie’s been through enough upheaval. I need you to make things legal, so she can stay with Agent Hotchner and his son if anything happens to me.“
******
Aaron was ever so slightly late arriving at restaurant Morgan had suggested when he’d said they needed to talk. He’d never heard of the place, and was surprised by the opulence. He was even more surprised when the maître’d led him to where Morgan sat at a secluded table, complete with flowers, candles and a bottle of wine. “What’s this?” he asked, taking in the romantic setting and the slightly embarassed look on Morgan’s face.
******
‘It’s a date, doofus,’ Derek kept the thought to himself. Hotch wasn’t ready to know that, and might never be. Derek was (mostly) okay with that. “I had nothing to do with the flowers, man. The wine is ‘cause we’re celebrating. Ellie’s coming home. Her mom’s going back overseas, and has given me legal custody.”
“That’s wonderful, Derek,” Hotch said with a smile, reaching across the table to clasp Derek’s hand. Derek flushed with pleasure. “Jack will be so pleased,“ he continued, releasing Derek’s hand. Derek’s heart sank. He’d hoped Hotch would be pleased on his own account. “You’ll move back in, of course,” he added, raising Derek’s spirits once again.
“I’d like that,” Derek replied, reeling from emotional whiplash. “I want to make you her legal guardian, too, just in case.”
“I’d be honored. I have a similar arrangement with Dave. Not that I expect him to raise Jack, mind you, but I trust him to make the right decisions.”
Derek was surprised. “Is there a reason you’re not giving custody to Jessica?”
“I made the arrangements before Haley… ” Hotch paused, swallowing hard. This time Derek was the one to reach across the table. “I never got around to changing it. I trust Jess, but her parents are another matter. I think…I’d like to change it to you now, if that’s acceptable?”
“I…yes, thank you,” Derek said, unable to find words for his emotions. They looked at each other for a long moment, then Hotch squeezed his hand and pulled away to pick up his neglected menu.
******
The first evening after Ellie’s return was a rambunctious affair. Fortunately, the weather was good. They spent several hours letting the kids and dog run off energy in the back yard, and eventually got them into bed. Morgan collapsed on the couch. Aaron dropped down beside him.
“I’m glad you’re back,” he said. “Jack and Clooney missed you.”
“And you, Aaron? Did you miss me?”
The use of his given name, and the look in Morgan’s…Derek’s eyes sent a pleasant shiver down Aaron’s spine. He wasn’t entirely sure when he’d lost control of his feelings, but it appeared they were mutual.
“More than I can say,” he admitted in a husky whisper.
“Show me?” Derek whispered back, nervously licking his lips.
Aaron leaned in, covering those lips with his own. The touch sent a jolt of pleasure through him. He grasped at the first thing at hand, which happened to be Derek’s thigh. The kiss was fantastic but the position was awkward.
Morgan pulled away. “Here, let me…”
Aaron found himself on his back, pinned under Morgan’s strong body. “Hi there,” Derek grinned down at him, sliding a hand under Aaron’s shirt and leaning down to reclaim his mouth. Aaron was out of practice; Derek clearly wasn’t. Aaron pushed down a sudden rush of jealousy and held on for the ride. He was soon incredibly hard and desperate for more friction. He slid down the couch, seeking a better angle. The sudden discomfort of a toy digging into his shoulder reminded him that there were children in the house.
“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” he suggested breathlessly. “Unless…” he trailed off, remembering how reluctant Morgan had been to speak of the abuse he had suffered.
“Bastard stole my childhood. I’m not gonna let him take my future.”
“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. I’m willing to take it as slow as you need, but I really, really don’t want to.“
“I can tell,” Derek replied with a grin and a roll of his hips.
Aaron suddenly had trouble remembering his own name, let alone the fact that they were supposed to be changing venues. He pushed up on his elbows, trying for another kiss, only to have Derek slide off. “Where are you going?” he asked petulantly.
“I thought you were taking me to bed,” Derek said, holding out a hand to help Aaron up. Hee took in Aaron’s dazed expression and shook his head. “If making out is going to make you this forgetful, we might need to reconsider.”
That wouldn’t do. With a smile, Aaron decided to imitate the least forgetful man he knew and reeled off a string of facts about the first thing that came to mind.
Derek laughed. “Now you sound like Reid.”
“You have to admit he’s a genius, and I’ve been reliably informed that he is, and I quote ‘sex on a stick.’"
Derek made a face. “You couldn’t prove it by me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid, but I have absolutely no desire to bed him. You, on other hand…” he trailed off suggestively.
“Yes? Tell me what you want.”
“First, I’d like to peel you out of that too proper suit and…”
“I’m wearing jeans and a sweater,” Aaron reminded him with a smile.
“Shut up. It’s my fantasy.”
“Get on with it then.”
“I…I can’t.” Aaron tried desperately to keep his disappointment from showing, but obviously wasn’t very successful. “It’s not what you’re thinking,” Derek hastened to reassure him, stroking his face with a gentle hand. “I want you. So much. But we have to talk first. This can’t be a casual thing.”
“We’re living together. That doesn’t exactly say casual.”
“That’s just it. We’re living together, and we have to stay living together. I won’t put the kids through another loss. If we get together and it falls apart…”
“Derek.” Aaron turned his head and kissed the hand still caressing his cheek, then took both of Morgan’s hands in his. “The fact that you’re bringing this up tells me you’re committed. And as for me… I was with the same person for nearly a quarter of a century. I don’t know how to do casual.”
That seemed to be enough for Derek, who started backing towards the master bedroom, hands still clasped tightly with Aaron’s.
******
When Derek woke with Aaron in his arms for a second glorious time, he didn’t have to worry about his morning erection making contact with the other man’s ass. Quite the opposite, in fact. He took a moment to rub against the warm body beside him, drawing a sleepy murmur of contentment from Aaron, then reluctantly rolled out of bed. It was a work day, and he still had to face his few remaining worries; If (how) to tell the team, and what their reactions might be.
He got a partial answer when he encountered Rossi snickering outside the break room.
“What’s so funny?”
“Reid’s giving the ‘hurt him and you’ll be sorry’ speech to Aaron. It’s not very effective, coming from him.”
Derek was indignant on his friend’s behalf. “He’s a lot tougher than people think.”
“I know that,” Rossi replied placatingly. ”But you have to admit he looks like he couldn’t fight his way out of a brown paper bag, and Hotch…”
Derek spoke quickly, wanting to stop Rossi before he said something that would send Derek’s thoughts places they shouldn’t go at work. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be warning me about cement shoes in my future if I hurt Hotch?”
“Those days are behind me. If I thought you might hurt him, I’d threaten to have Prentiss beat you up.” Derek gave him a questioning look. “Hey, I might have a healthy ego, but I’m not stupid. You could probably take me with one hand tied behind your back. Emily would at least stand a chance.”
Derek ignored the back-handed compliment, turning his attention to the important point.
“If you thought I’d hurt him? You’ve seen me with dozens of girls. Hell, I wouldn’t want me dating my best friend.”
“Ah, but none of those girls expected more from you than they got. And none of them were Aaron Hotchner. Aaron is an incredible man. I like to think you’re smart enough to realize how lucky you are and not do anything to fuck it up.”
“I do, and I won’t,” Derek assured him, and stepped into the break room to rescue his lover from his best friend, or possibly vice versa.
Author: morena_donn
Rating: FRT for sexual content and language
Pairing: Hotch/Morgan First Time
Word count: 5,180
Authors Note/Spoilers: Character spoilers for 6x01 - 6x03
Summary: What the title says
Beta by brindel As usual, I made some last minute changes, so any mistakes are entirely my fault.
“Hey, sweetheart, how you doing?“ Derek relaxed into the couch, smiling as he took the phone call from Ellie Spicer. It had been hard, what with the time difference and his crazy work hours, but they’d managed to talk every day since she went to live with her mom, and her calls were often the highlight of his day.
“I need to ask you a huge favor,” she said. Derek sat up straight, not liking the uncertain tone that had crept into her voice. “Mom got a letter and I kinda opened it.”
“Ellie, we’ve talked about this. I know it’s hard, but you can’t use the bad things that happened to you and your dad as an excuse to do things you know are wrong.”
“De-rek, you sound like my therapist,” she whined. “I admitted it though, that’s gotta count for something, right?” Not waiting for an answer, she forged ahead. “Anyway, what matters is she got a really cool job offer, and she’s not gonna take it ‘cause of me. So I thought, maybe I could come stay with you? It’s only three months, and I’ll be good, I promise.”
“Ellie…” Derek ran a hand over his head, trying to figure out how to refuse without making her feel rejected.
“It’s okay if you say no,” she said, although it was clear from her voice it wasn’t. She went on to outline her alternate plan - she’d somehow managed to get herself admitted to a Virginia boarding school without her mother’s knowledge but “you can make her say yes, and I can be with you on weekends.”
Derek shook his head in admiration. She was a resourceful little thing. “Okay, you win. I’ll talk to Hotch and your mom, see what we can work out,” he told her, careful not to make any promises about which option he was going to take.
******
“…and it’s only three months.” Morgan finished earnestly.
Aaron manfully resisted the urge to bang his head on his desk. “I admire your determination to do right by this girl, but I don’t think you realize what you’d be getting into. I can tell you from experience that it’s extremely difficult to do this job as a single parent. Have you thought about childcare?”
“I was thinking JJ and Will, or maybe Jessica knows somebody?”
Aaron spared a moment to give thanks for his sister-in-law. ‘Extremely difficult’ was an understatement. The truth was he didn’t think he could do his job and take care of his son without Jessica’s unwavering support. She took advantage of her self employed status to drop everything and be there whenever Aaron and Jack needed her. He knew her productivity had dropped, yet she refused to let him pay her. Understanding her reasons did nothing to override the vague feeling of guilt it left him with. He had a sudden thought. Jessica wouldn’t take his money, but maybe she’d take Morgan’s.
“Only three months?” Morgan nodded. “Jack and I have plenty of space. You could move in and hire Jessica as a nanny.“
“You sure about that?” Morgan sounded doubtful.
Aaron couldn’t blame him - it wasn’t like him to make such a major decision without thinking it out. He should take time to weigh the pros and cons, and talk to Jessica, but something about this felt right. “Absolutely,” he replied. “Jack will love having a sister and a dog.”
“I can bring Clooney?” Aaron was already regretting that part of the offer, but Morgan’s dark eyes were bright with hope, and Aaron couldn’t bring himself to crush that hope.
“Of course.” ‘In for a penny, in for a pound’, Aaron thought. It was going to be an interesting three months.
“Thanks, man. I’m gonna go call Mrs. Spicer.”
The brilliant smile Morgan wore as he left was almost enough to keep Aaron from second guessing his rash decision. Jessica had been urging him to be more spontaneous, for Jack’s sake - somehow, he doubted doubling the size of his household and adding a dog was what she’d had in mind.
******
On his second night in Hotch’s house, Derek woke to muffled screams, followed shortly by higher pitched crying. He was out of bed before he was fully awake, nearly colliding with Ellie in the hallway.
“Jack’s Daddy is having a nightmare,” she said unnecessarily. ”I think it’s scaring him.”
“You take care of Jack.“ He gave her shoulder a brief squeeze in passing. ”I’ll wake Hotch.”
******
Aaron blinked awake, nightmare images fading, replaced by the concerned visage of Derek Morgan.
“Hey man, it’s okay. You’re home, you’re safe. Jack’s safe.”
“It’s not okay. I can’t…I haven’t…”
“You haven’t had a nightmare since it’s been just you and Jack?” Morgan guessed.
Aaron nodded miserably. He couldn’t think, couldn’t stop trembling.
“Then I’d say you’re overdue,” Morgan said, gathering Aaron into his arms like he was a child. God, it felt good to let someone take care of him, if just for a moment. It couldn’t last, though. He had Responsibilities.
“Jack?” he asked, pushing ineffectually against the strong arms encircling him.
“Ellie’s got him,” Morgan replied, tightening his hold. ‘I’ve got you’ hung unspoken in the air between them.
Too tired to fight, and still trembling with residual adrenaline, Aaron allowed himself to relax against Morgan’s warm chest. The tremors quickly ceased, and Morgan gently tucked him back in bed and quietly left the room.
All too soon, Aaron was drawn from another nightmare by the welcome sound of Morgan’s voice. He wanted nothing more than to crawl back into his sheltering arms and stay for the rest of night, wanted it with an intensity that frightened him. That way lay madness. Instead, he sighed and turned his face into his pillow, feigning a return to deeper sleep.
***
They had the next day off. Not needing to go to work, Aaron lingered in bed. He was tired, and not ready to face Morgan after his show of weakness the previous night. Eventually lured from his room by the smell of bacon, he entered the kitchen, where he found Morgan making breakfast with Jack’s ‘help’.
“He wanted to bring you breakfast in bed,” Morgan said with a smile, indicating a bowl of Jack’s favorite sugary cereal, liberally drenched in syrup. Aaron’s teeth hurt just looking at it. “I talked him into this instead. You have dish duty.”
“I think I can handle that,” Aaron replied with a smile of his own. “Thank you.” They could both pretend he was talking about breakfast, but he felt better for saying it, if a little embarrassed by the circumstances that made an apology necessary.
“No problem, man,” Morgan replied with another smile. “Hey, careful, kid! You’re going to … spill that,” he finished as orange juice flooded the floor.
Aaron went to get a mop, and just like that, any trace of awkwardness was gone. If Morgan seemed a touch over solicitous while handing Aaron his plate, well, he had spent the morning with Jack. Aaron himself was having a little trouble switching modes from Daddy to colleague - at least that was the reason he gave himself for the way he kept wanting to touch Morgan each time he was in reach. He’d been making a concerted effort to show more physical affection for his son, and he wasn’t used to having anyone else in his home. It was just habit, not a manifestation of any inappropriate feelings he might or might not be harboring toward the younger man.
******
Another night, another nightmare. Derek sat on the edge of the bed, enjoying the warm weight of Aaron Hotchner in his arms. His hand stroking the broad back was acceptable, he thought, part of soothing Hotch after his bad dream. The kiss he wanted to place on the dark head resting against his shoulder was not. “You should get some sleep,” he said gruffly, and reluctantly released the other man.
It became a nightly routine. Sometimes Hotch would awaken fully, mutter an apology and let Derek hold him for a few moments. Other times, the sound of Derek’s voice was enough to pull him out of the dark places in his head, and he’d settle down without truly awakening. This might have continued indefinitely, or at least until one or the other of them collapsed from sleep deprivation, but one night Hotch was caught deep in a bad dream. Derek couldn’t reach him with his voice or a light touch, and risked shaking his shoulder.
Hotch woke up swinging, and hit him hard in the face. He was fully awake immediately. “God, Derek. I’m so, so sorry. I’ll get you some ice,” he said, and fled the room.
Derek yawned widely, regretting it immediately. Damn, but his face hurt, and he was so tired. Surely it was okay to lie down for just a minute while he waited. The bed was warm, and the pillow smelled pleasantly of Hotch. Derek closed his eyes, breathed deeply, and drifted off.
******
Morgan was sound asleep when Aaron returned. Telling himself that he hadn’t hit him *that* hard, and he probably didn’t need the ice, Aaron decided not to wake him. Drawing on years of experience maneuvering a sleeping Jack from car to bed, he carefully moved his friend to a more comfortable position. Morgan’s face was buried in Aaron’s favorite pillow. He briefly considered retrieving it, but decided it wasn’t worth the risk of waking the other man when he so clearly needed sleep. Besides, there was something appealing about Morgan using his pillow, something Aaron was not going to examine further.
Aaron eased slowly into the far side of the bed, careful not to touch Morgan but drawing comfort from the warmth of his body, another thing he was reluctant to examine too closely. He slept peacefully the remainder of the night. When the alarm went off, he was surprised to find the bed empty. It was Aaron’s day to get the children ready for school; Morgan should be taking advantage of the extra half hour of sleep. Perhaps he had moved back to his own room?
Morgan’s bed was empty, too. Coffee. Aaron needed coffee to deal with this. He entered the kitchen to find a pot already made, and with his preferred Hawaiian blend, breaking their unspoken rule of ‘he who wakes first picks the roast.’
There was a note as well: ‘Got some errands to run, took my bike to work. See you there.’
Aaron poured himself a cup of coffee, unable to stop smiling as he savored it for the gift it was. His good mood lasted until he got to work and Dave cornered him in his office. The older man gestured towards the bullpen, where Morgan sat. The bruise on his cheekbone was visible from here. Aaron winced. ‘Ouch. I should have woken him for the ice, after all.’
“What happened? You and Derek have a lover’s spat?”
Aaron knew Dave was just being Dave, but it put him on the defensive. “I had a nightmare,” he replied tersely. He knew it was a mistake the moment he said it. Dave’s shrewd eyes scrutinized his face, zeroing in on the bags under his eyes.
“Happening a lot, is it?”
“Two or three times a night, ever since Morgan and Ellie moved in. I don’t know what’s wrong with me,” he admitted.
“I’d venture a guess that having another adult there, you feel safe for the first time in two years, and your subconscious is letting go.”
“Well, I wish it would stop.”
“Aaron, it’s okay to feel.”
Aaron shook his head. “No, it’s not. He fell asleep in my bed last night, Dave.” ‘Why the hell did I tell him that?’
Dave quirked a brow. “And…?”
“And nothing. When I woke this morning, he was gone.” Aaron didn’t mention the coffee - it was none of Dave’s business, and he was bound to read into it something that wasn’t, that couldn’t be, there.
“No more nightmares?”
“No.” Aaron admitted grudgingly.
“Then maybe you should sleep together more often,” Dave said with a smile, but while the tone was light, his eyes were serious.
***
Aaron was not going to take Dave’s ridiculous suggestion, but when he retired for the night he found Morgan in his bed, clad in what were clearly newly purchased pajamas.
“I thought I’d crash here tonight. It seemed to help, and we could all use the sleep.” Morgan sounded endearingly uncertain, and it wouldn’t be fair to make him waste the money he’d spent. Aaron didn’t ask him to leave. There were no nightmares that night, or the next.
***
The third night Morgan spent in Aaron’s bed he was awakened not by a nightmare, but by a feeling of warmth and contentment. By the time he’d puzzled out the reason (Morgan was spooned up behind him, one arm slung over his hip) the other man was awake as well, mortification obvious in the unnatural stiffness of his body.
Aaron hastened to reassure him. “Don’t worry, I think it was inevitable when sharing a bed. You don’t have to move,” he said, placing a hand on the arm resting against his stomach. Morgan sucked in a breath, staying unnaturally still. ‘Wrong course of action'. Aaron removed his hand. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“No, no, I’m good,” Morgan finally found his voice and the ability to move, tightening his arm around Aaron’s waist. Aaron put his hand back. Morgan’s sleeve had ridden up; the skin under Aaron’s palm was pleasantly warm. He slipped easily back into sleep.
******
It was Derek’s turn with the kids. He shut the alarm off on the first ring; he didn’t want Hotch to wake and realize that his morning wood was more than just a physiological reaction to the start of the day. Wonderful as it had been sleeping with Hotch in his arms, Derek didn’t think the other man was ready to acknowledge that it had been more than just ‘inevitable when sharing a bed’, at least on Derek’s part.
Hell, he wasn’t entirely sure he was ready himself. He’d worked long and hard not to let the abuse he’d suffered as a youth change his sexuality. He’d just begun to realize that he liked Jimmy Davies as much if not more than his sister Kate, when Carl Buford came along with his ruinous ‘salvation’. He hadn’t let it stop him from finding men attractive, but he’d never actually acted on that attraction. Women were attractive too, and so much easier.
He wondered if he’d have the courage (or stupidity) to invite himself back into Hotch’s bed after coming dangerously close to revealing what he felt. He was both disappointed and relieved when they were called away on a case, and he didn’t get the chance to find out.
******
It had been a long day, but sleep was elusive. Aaron tried telling himself that he was missing his own bed, and not Morgan’s presence in it, but he wasn’t entirely sure he believed it. He was also a bit worried about the possibility of nightmares. It was one thing to admit their existence to Dave, quite another to have the rest of the team experience one first hand. He didn’t know how well soundproofed his hotel room was, and had no desire to find out. Although, he reasoned, Morgan was next door and would probably come before anyone else awakened. The thought reassured him more than it ought to, and he finally slept.
***
“You sleep okay?” Morgan asked, joining Aaron for breakfast.
Aaron just barely refrained from blurting out the truth: ‘I dreamed of kissing you, and I liked it’. He shuddered to think of what might have happened if he’d had those dreams with Morgan in his bed. “Yes, thank you. It seems your nights of moonlighting as a human security blanket are over.”
“That’s good to hear,” Morgan replied with a smile that seemed…off, somehow. Prentiss chose that moment to turn up, and Aaron gratefully turned his attention to the case.
******
It was late afternoon when they finally got home. Hotch invited Jessica to stay for awhile, and they settled in for an evening of pizza and movies. Derek left Hotch to set up the DVD player while he and Ellie got drinks from the kitchen. Once everyone was served he sat, leaving space between himself and Hotch for Ellie, but she plopped down between Derek and Jessica instead, shoving Derek sideways to make room. He found himself sitting thigh to thigh and shoulder to shoulder with Hotch, who was crammed into the corner with Jack on his lap and couldn’t move. It made it difficult to concentrate on the movie, but Derek couldn’t say that he minded.
Sometime during the evening, a warm arm settled around Derek’s shoulders. He looked at Hotch, who nodded apologetically at Jack, now sleeping stretched across both their laps. Derek smiled and sent the kid a silent thank you. Hotch was just trying to get comfortable without disturbing his son, but he’d made it clear that Derek would no longer be sharing his bed to keep the nightmares at bay, and he’d take whatever touches he could get.
******
Aaron watched with growing concern as Morgan worked his way through a six pack of beer. They were watching his game instead of Aaron’s documentary; the least he could do was appear interested. Instead, he seemed focused on getting drunk. “I think you’ve had enough,” Aaron finally said, plucking the last bottle, unopened, from the other man’s hands.
“You’re not my mother,” Morgan replied sullenly.
“No,” Aaron agreed. He’d do well to remember that. Morgan wasn’t Jack - he couldn’t put his arms around him and hold him close until he opened up about whatever was bothering him, no matter how badly he wanted to. “But there are children present.”
“They’re in bed,” Morgan argued.
“I know. That’s why I didn’t say something earlier. I’m not your mother, but I am your supervisor and I hope your friend. Please, tell me what’s wrong.”
“It’s our last fucking case. Those poor girls…Ellie…” Morgan struggled to explain.
Aaron understood perfectly. “Welcome to fatherhood.”
“I’m not really…” Morgan began sadly.
“You are, and a damned good one,” Aaron replied fiercely. “Distance won’t change that.”
“I don’t want to give her up,” Morgan admitted miserably.
“Neither do I.” Aaron wrapped an arm around Morgan’s shoulders, and the younger man relaxed against him, resting his head on Aaron’s shoulder. Aaron looked at him, bemused. This was not exactly an action he would have expected of his strong, confident friend, but he supposed it made sense - Morgan was intoxicated and upset and probably feeling just as unsettled as Aaron after a nightmare. Aaron himself was feeling a heady mix of protectiveness, affection and honor at being allowed to glimpse this moment of vulnerability. He wondered if this was how Morgan had felt, comforting him.
******
Contrary to what Hotch might think, Derek didn’t feel like any kind of father, let alone a good one. But Ellie needed a father more than a friend, and there was really no reason he couldn’t fill that roll, even long distance. He hadn’t the foggiest notion of how to go about it, but he did have a chance to learn from the best. He took to watching Hotch with the kids, and quickly realized that what he felt for the other man was not just physical attraction to someone he liked and admired. It was something deeper; he might even be falling in love.
The thought was both exhilarating (he wanted what his parents had had, and at nearly 40 had given up on ever finding it) and depressing (so many things could go wrong, there was no indication Hotch could ever return his feelings, and Derek would have to move out when Ellie left.) He also realized he was pretty darn attached to Jack. He envied the father and son. They’d miss Ellie too, but at least they’d have each other.
*******
The three months were up far too soon, and Ellie was reclaimed by her mother. Jack was devastated. Aaron was not too happy himself, but what could he do? Asking Morgan to stay was out of the question, but maybe he could be persuaded to leave the dog.
As it turned out, there was no persuasion needed. “I, um, was wondering…” It was probably just Aaron’s imagination, but Morgan looked as unhappy about packing to leave as Aaron was to see him go. “Would you like to keep Clooney? It, ah, might make things easier for Jack. I’ll pay for his food and stuff.“
“I’d appreciate that. You’ll visit him”, us he amended mentally, “often, I trust?”
“As often as you want,” Morgan replied.
Aaron refrained from pointing out that would be pretty much all the time - for Jack’s sake, of course.
******
“Agent Morgan?” Ellie’s mother was on the phone, sounding apprehensive.
“We’re raising a child together. Call me Derek,” he replied, hoping it would set her at ease, not make things worse. “Ellie means more to me than a promise I made her dad. I’m not going anywhere.”
“I can’t tell you how happy I am to hear that,” she sighed in relief. “I’ve gotten another overseas offer and…”
“I’d be glad to take her back,” Derek said quickly. The reunion and parting might be hard on Jack, but they’d make it work.
“You must think I’m a horrible mother,” she said in a tone that made it clear she agreed.
“Not at all,” he assured her. “I’m sure it was a hard decision.” Personally, he didn’t see how anyone could pick a job over Ellie, but he was not about to say that, seeing as how it worked in his favor. “You’re not abandoning her. You’ll stay in contact, call every night.”
“I don’t know if…”
“You will call,“ he said, putting a bit of steel in his voice. Ellie was a special kid who’d had a rough time. She deserved to have as many caring adults in her life as possible. This brought something else to mind. “There’s just one thing. Ellie’s been through enough upheaval. I need you to make things legal, so she can stay with Agent Hotchner and his son if anything happens to me.“
******
Aaron was ever so slightly late arriving at restaurant Morgan had suggested when he’d said they needed to talk. He’d never heard of the place, and was surprised by the opulence. He was even more surprised when the maître’d led him to where Morgan sat at a secluded table, complete with flowers, candles and a bottle of wine. “What’s this?” he asked, taking in the romantic setting and the slightly embarassed look on Morgan’s face.
******
‘It’s a date, doofus,’ Derek kept the thought to himself. Hotch wasn’t ready to know that, and might never be. Derek was (mostly) okay with that. “I had nothing to do with the flowers, man. The wine is ‘cause we’re celebrating. Ellie’s coming home. Her mom’s going back overseas, and has given me legal custody.”
“That’s wonderful, Derek,” Hotch said with a smile, reaching across the table to clasp Derek’s hand. Derek flushed with pleasure. “Jack will be so pleased,“ he continued, releasing Derek’s hand. Derek’s heart sank. He’d hoped Hotch would be pleased on his own account. “You’ll move back in, of course,” he added, raising Derek’s spirits once again.
“I’d like that,” Derek replied, reeling from emotional whiplash. “I want to make you her legal guardian, too, just in case.”
“I’d be honored. I have a similar arrangement with Dave. Not that I expect him to raise Jack, mind you, but I trust him to make the right decisions.”
Derek was surprised. “Is there a reason you’re not giving custody to Jessica?”
“I made the arrangements before Haley… ” Hotch paused, swallowing hard. This time Derek was the one to reach across the table. “I never got around to changing it. I trust Jess, but her parents are another matter. I think…I’d like to change it to you now, if that’s acceptable?”
“I…yes, thank you,” Derek said, unable to find words for his emotions. They looked at each other for a long moment, then Hotch squeezed his hand and pulled away to pick up his neglected menu.
******
The first evening after Ellie’s return was a rambunctious affair. Fortunately, the weather was good. They spent several hours letting the kids and dog run off energy in the back yard, and eventually got them into bed. Morgan collapsed on the couch. Aaron dropped down beside him.
“I’m glad you’re back,” he said. “Jack and Clooney missed you.”
“And you, Aaron? Did you miss me?”
The use of his given name, and the look in Morgan’s…Derek’s eyes sent a pleasant shiver down Aaron’s spine. He wasn’t entirely sure when he’d lost control of his feelings, but it appeared they were mutual.
“More than I can say,” he admitted in a husky whisper.
“Show me?” Derek whispered back, nervously licking his lips.
Aaron leaned in, covering those lips with his own. The touch sent a jolt of pleasure through him. He grasped at the first thing at hand, which happened to be Derek’s thigh. The kiss was fantastic but the position was awkward.
Morgan pulled away. “Here, let me…”
Aaron found himself on his back, pinned under Morgan’s strong body. “Hi there,” Derek grinned down at him, sliding a hand under Aaron’s shirt and leaning down to reclaim his mouth. Aaron was out of practice; Derek clearly wasn’t. Aaron pushed down a sudden rush of jealousy and held on for the ride. He was soon incredibly hard and desperate for more friction. He slid down the couch, seeking a better angle. The sudden discomfort of a toy digging into his shoulder reminded him that there were children in the house.
“Maybe we should take this to the bedroom,” he suggested breathlessly. “Unless…” he trailed off, remembering how reluctant Morgan had been to speak of the abuse he had suffered.
“Bastard stole my childhood. I’m not gonna let him take my future.”
“I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that. I’m willing to take it as slow as you need, but I really, really don’t want to.“
“I can tell,” Derek replied with a grin and a roll of his hips.
Aaron suddenly had trouble remembering his own name, let alone the fact that they were supposed to be changing venues. He pushed up on his elbows, trying for another kiss, only to have Derek slide off. “Where are you going?” he asked petulantly.
“I thought you were taking me to bed,” Derek said, holding out a hand to help Aaron up. Hee took in Aaron’s dazed expression and shook his head. “If making out is going to make you this forgetful, we might need to reconsider.”
That wouldn’t do. With a smile, Aaron decided to imitate the least forgetful man he knew and reeled off a string of facts about the first thing that came to mind.
Derek laughed. “Now you sound like Reid.”
“You have to admit he’s a genius, and I’ve been reliably informed that he is, and I quote ‘sex on a stick.’"
Derek made a face. “You couldn’t prove it by me. Don’t get me wrong, I love the kid, but I have absolutely no desire to bed him. You, on other hand…” he trailed off suggestively.
“Yes? Tell me what you want.”
“First, I’d like to peel you out of that too proper suit and…”
“I’m wearing jeans and a sweater,” Aaron reminded him with a smile.
“Shut up. It’s my fantasy.”
“Get on with it then.”
“I…I can’t.” Aaron tried desperately to keep his disappointment from showing, but obviously wasn’t very successful. “It’s not what you’re thinking,” Derek hastened to reassure him, stroking his face with a gentle hand. “I want you. So much. But we have to talk first. This can’t be a casual thing.”
“We’re living together. That doesn’t exactly say casual.”
“That’s just it. We’re living together, and we have to stay living together. I won’t put the kids through another loss. If we get together and it falls apart…”
“Derek.” Aaron turned his head and kissed the hand still caressing his cheek, then took both of Morgan’s hands in his. “The fact that you’re bringing this up tells me you’re committed. And as for me… I was with the same person for nearly a quarter of a century. I don’t know how to do casual.”
That seemed to be enough for Derek, who started backing towards the master bedroom, hands still clasped tightly with Aaron’s.
******
When Derek woke with Aaron in his arms for a second glorious time, he didn’t have to worry about his morning erection making contact with the other man’s ass. Quite the opposite, in fact. He took a moment to rub against the warm body beside him, drawing a sleepy murmur of contentment from Aaron, then reluctantly rolled out of bed. It was a work day, and he still had to face his few remaining worries; If (how) to tell the team, and what their reactions might be.
He got a partial answer when he encountered Rossi snickering outside the break room.
“What’s so funny?”
“Reid’s giving the ‘hurt him and you’ll be sorry’ speech to Aaron. It’s not very effective, coming from him.”
Derek was indignant on his friend’s behalf. “He’s a lot tougher than people think.”
“I know that,” Rossi replied placatingly. ”But you have to admit he looks like he couldn’t fight his way out of a brown paper bag, and Hotch…”
Derek spoke quickly, wanting to stop Rossi before he said something that would send Derek’s thoughts places they shouldn’t go at work. “What about you? Shouldn’t you be warning me about cement shoes in my future if I hurt Hotch?”
“Those days are behind me. If I thought you might hurt him, I’d threaten to have Prentiss beat you up.” Derek gave him a questioning look. “Hey, I might have a healthy ego, but I’m not stupid. You could probably take me with one hand tied behind your back. Emily would at least stand a chance.”
Derek ignored the back-handed compliment, turning his attention to the important point.
“If you thought I’d hurt him? You’ve seen me with dozens of girls. Hell, I wouldn’t want me dating my best friend.”
“Ah, but none of those girls expected more from you than they got. And none of them were Aaron Hotchner. Aaron is an incredible man. I like to think you’re smart enough to realize how lucky you are and not do anything to fuck it up.”
“I do, and I won’t,” Derek assured him, and stepped into the break room to rescue his lover from his best friend, or possibly vice versa.