The Heart of Everything part 1
Title: The Heart of Everything
Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Mentoring fiction; Severus Snape/ Harry Potter (no slash)
Summary: Severus Snape did have a backup plan when facing Voldemort that night.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All mistakes are mine.
Not betaread yet!
The Heart of Everything
For the pain and the sorrow caused by my mistakes
Won't repent to a mortal whom is all to blame
Now I know I won't make it
There will be a time we'll get back our freedom
They can't break what's inside
I'll face it 'cause it's the heart of everything
Open up your eyes
Save yourself from fading away now, don't let it go
Open up your eyes
See what you've become, don't sacrifice
It's truly the heart of everything
Part 1
Minerva McGonagall, Molly and Arthur Weasley - all three of them needed a moment to collect their thoughts and sort out their emotions after withdrawing from the pensieve. The things they had seen had greatly upset them.
“I can’t believe it… I always thought…” Molly shakily walked over to a chair and collapsed on it. “I had always hoped that…but…” She shook her head, as if trying to rid herself of the thoughts that confused her. “All those years, Arthur… Severus was a double-agent and we never… we never really believed Albus when he told us to…”
“To put our trust in Severus,” Arthur finished for his wife. He felt equally shaken and walked over to where she sat. He rested his hands on her shoulders and drew in a deep breath. They were still trying to get to grip with the death of their son and weren’t ready to deal with Severus’ memories, which still occupied the pensieve. He understood why Harry had asked them to bear witness, him in particular because of his ties to the Ministry, but still he wished he didn’t have to deal with this just yet.
Minerva, knowing why this was affecting the Weasleys in such a way, continued to stare at the silver liquid in the pensieve - the last thing that remained of Severus Snape, a man, who she had badly misjudged. Albus and Severus hadn’t confided in her and she knew why - she might have spoiled their plans. “So that’s why he fled… That’s why he didn’t attack.”
Harry nodded. “That was one of the first things to cross my mind as well, professor… Do you remember that moment of shock when professor Snape realized he had to face us? Fight us? When he wavered, I thought it was because he thought himself outnumbered, but now… He never wanted to hurt any of us… He couldn’t engage in battle. He never wanted to injure you.”
“So instead he fled and I… I called him a coward.” Minerva found it hard to hold on to her normal composure, but knew it was important she appeared balanced. Harry needed her acting that way, and so did the Weasleys. Her gaze shifted from Harry to the newest painting which adorned the office. Albus appeared asleep - most conveniently, but she wasn’t going to allow it. “Albus Dumbledore!” To her satisfaction, the wizard startled and looked at her in surprise. “You are responsible for this!”
“If by this you’re referring to Harry’s survival and Voldemort’s demise then yes, I am.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” She stalked over to the painting, placed her hands on her hips and glared at the former Headmaster. “You manipulated all of us! Harry most of all! But you also… You used Severus any way you saw fit!”
“It’s what he wanted, Minerva. He wanted to help.”
“No! He wanted to atone for something he never did! It was Wormtail who betrayed the Potter’s! It was Voldemort who killed them! Not Severus! But you nourished Severus’ guilt, didn’t you? You fed it, made sure it would grow so he would never question you! You…” Her voice failed her as she glared at Albus. “You didn’t stop at anything, did you?”
“You must understand, Minerva. We faced destruction! If Voldemort had succeeded, if he had secured his reign, none of you would have survived. Severus knew this - it motivated him to give all of him. The cause…”
“The cause?” Minerva echoed the words and spat them right back at Albus. “You were dealing with people, Albus! And people have feelings!” Albus glared back at her and they had obviously reached a standstill. “This is not the end of it,” Minerva promised. “I will get to the bottom of this!”
“Minerva…” Molly rose from her chair, walked over to the older witch and rested a hand on Minerva’s arm. “You should bury… the dead… You need to… attend to Severus’ remains… like we did… with Fred…” Burying her son had been the hardest thing she had ever done, but Molly knew she had had to follow through. Parents weren’t supposed to outlive their children and her heart ached with loss, but she had carried out her duties. They had lain Fred to rest, and as far as Molly was concerned, Severus deserved nothing less, especially now that they knew the wizard had risked it all, just in order to keep Harry safe.
“I am so sorry for your loss,” Minerva said, sensing how hard this was on Molly. She gathered Molly’s hand in hers and gently squeezed it. “Fred was a brave soul - so very brave. He will never be forgotten.” His name already adorned the wall of the Great Hall, sitting amidst of the names of the ones who had fallen fighting Voldemort.
“Thank you, Minerva… Now listen to me… See to Severus’ remains at once… The longer you wait… the harder it will get.”
Minerva squeezed Molly’s hand once more and felt deeply connected to the other woman. “You are right.” She guided Molly’s hand into Arthur’s as the wizard had joined his wife. Minerva headed for the doorway, drawing upon all her strength - she needed to be strong to carry out the duty which had been placed upon her.
“I am coming along!” Harry ran up to her, and when Minerva stopped to tell him no, he shook his head. “Severus Snape spent most of his life protecting me and fighting Voldemort. I am entitled to this - I need to do this for him, don’t you understand? When I left him at the Shack, I thought he was a traitor! I didn’t offer him any comfort… I…” His voice failed him. “I need to make things right.”
Minerva sighed and eventually nodded her consent. “We shall do this together then, Harry.”
“We’ll need Hagrid to help,” Harry pointed out to her. “We’ll need someone to carry professor Snape.”
Minerva nodded again. “It will be the three of us then, Harry.” She wished things had ended differently; wished defeating Voldemort hadn’t demanded so many lives… so many sacrifices…
///
Minerva understood what Harry had been going through when they arrived at the Shack. Like Harry, she didn’t want to face what was left of Severus Snape, but she also knew they had no choice. They owed Severus - owed him more than they could ever repay.
In the end it was Hagrid who opened the door. The half-giant then stepped aside to let Harry and Minerva enter.
It was Minerva who moved first. She took a step into the Shack and then froze upon seeing the blood smeared floor. She was afraid to raise her gaze and to finally look upon the fallen form She stalled as long as she could. But then, sensing Harry moving forward next to her, she faced her worst fears and looked…
“Professor?”
Harry’s voice barely registered with her, as she was trying to deal with shock herself. The window, although covered in blood and smashed, was just that -- a window.
“Professor, where’s the body? Who took him?”
The panic that echoed in Harry’s voice brought her to and she shook her head. “I have no idea…” She stared at the bloodied floor and wondered the same thing. Where had Severus’ body gone? She swayed, gripped by fear. Hopefully the surviving members of the order of the Phoenix hadn’t taken the body. She could very well imagine them wanting to extract revenge on the man they held responsible for so many deaths.
Hagrid, who realized something was terribly wrong, remained quiet, but did look inside the Shack and he wondered about the same thing. Where had Snape’s body gone?
“Professor…” Harry’s voice shook with emotion and tears dripped down his face, falling onto the darkened wood beneath his feet. “You don’t think they took it, do you? They didn’t burn it, did they? Please, I need… to say… I am sorry…”
Minerva wrapped an arm around Harry, felt him shake himself to pieces and realized she was trembling badly as well. “I don’t know what happened, Harry, but rest assured that I will find out.” What if they had indeed taken the body? Had burned it? Or had done even more vile things to it? But no, they were respectable people and won’t stoop that low - at least, she hoped so.
“What do we do now?” Harry wiped at his tears, but couldn’t bring himself to feeling embarrassed for shedding them. As far as he was concerned he had an excellent reason for doing so.
“I will ask Kingsley,” Minerva said, deciding on a course of action. “I need to contact him any way…” She couldn’t count on Arthur communicating their newest findings to the Minister. And she had to clear Severus’ name. Now that she couldn’t pay her last respects to Severus by looking after his burial, she would make sure his name would be cleared of all charges.
///
“Not there? How can his body be not there? That’s where you left it, didn’t you,” Harry?” Albus seemed confused and frowned deeply.
“I watched him…die… sir…” Harry found it hard to speak. He had done his best NOT to remember what had happened in the Shack and now Dumbledore was making him.
“I believe Harry.” Minerva said in a protective voice. “The only explanation I can come up with is that members of the order found him and… disposed of the body.” There was no graceful way of saying it, and she regretting causing Harry pain. The boy’s tears tore at her soul. Such a cruel way for fate to disclose the truth, without giving them a chance to set things right with Severus. This would haunt them for the rest of their lives…
Albus however remained suspicious. “Let us think this through, my friends. Harry bears witness to Severus’ death. He leaves the Shack and comes here in order to use the pensieve.”
“We left him there, professor,” Harry said, as he approached the painting. “Ron and Hermione watched him die too… When we closed that door behind us, he was still there. Something must have happened after we left… Someone must have come for him…” He cringed. “Do you supposed a Death Eater or…?”
“No, Harry. Voldemort’s supporters were busy fighting on their lord’s behalf. I doubt Voldemort would have allowed any of them to remain behind. He wanted them up front.”
“Then who took the body?” Minerva was about to add something else, when the fireplace cracked and Kingsley stepped into the office, looking grim.
“I received your message, Minerva, but I don’t understand. Severus Snape was a traitor. He supported Voldemort… Do I need to remind you of how we chased him out of Hogwarts that day?”
“Kingsley…” Minerva walked over to him, grabbed his arm, and pulled the wizard toward the pensieve. “Look… and you’ll understand.” Kingsley gave her a suspicious look, but then complied and dove into the swirling memories. Minerva felt ill at ease, and guilty, recalling the scenes she had seen in the pensieve. Severus had practically sacrificed his soul to protect them - all of them.
After several minutes, which seemed to last for all eternity, Kingsley raised his head and straightened his back - looking thoroughly shocked. “How can this be?”
“Severus was an excellent actor…” Albus’ voice carried remorse. “He had to be in order to trick Voldemort… and the lot of you never trusted him to begin with - so, you only saw what you wanted to see. You never looked at his actions in detail… You don’t know half of the things he did in order to secure your lives.”
“Another talk is in order then, Albus,” Minerva said determinedly. “For I will get to the bottom of this. Severus’ name needs to be cleared of all charges. He deserves our recognition and our gratitude.”
“It vexes me..” Albus absentmindedly looked at the Headmasters and Headmistresses of old that occupied the other paintings. “How can his body have vanished like that?”
Minerva sighed. She felt tired to the bone, and as acting Headmistress she was also overseeing the repairs, keeping track of the wounded and the dead. She was trying to get most of the students home, and the ones who were determined to stay, like Harry and Neville, needed her attention as well.
“Minerva… I need you to tell me something…”
“Can’t it wait, Albus? I also need to attend to the living.” She hated herself for putting it so bluntly, but she had to get through to him. “Maybe Kingsley can help you figure everything out.”
“No, Kingsley won’t do,” Albus continued, moving forward in the painting until he pressed against the edge. “Tell me, have you been in contact with Hogwarts?”
Minerva frowned and shrugged helplessly at seeing Harry’s equally confused expression. “Albus, start making sense or…”
“The moment you become Headmaster, or Headmistress, Hogwarts turns into a part of you… The walls start whispering to you… The stairs will shift at your bidding…The candles whisper secrets they caught while listening to the students… The walls, made of brick, mortar and magic, will move at your request… Tell me, Minerva, have you experienced any of these things?”
Minerva shifted her gaze from Harry to Albus. “I have no idea what you’re talking about…”
“Ah!” Albus exclaimed and paced the confines of his painting. “But…” He stopped pacing, came to a halt, shook his head, and then resumed walking. “That would mean… but that can’t be… How could that be? It’s not possible…”
“Professor…” Harry walked over to the painting and placed his hands on either side of the wooden frame. “I agree with professor McGonagall. What are you talking about?”
Albus’ brow deepened and it took him a moment to make eye contact with Harry. “I don’t want to give you hope when I shouldn’t. I need a little time to make sure…”
“Albus!” But Minerva was too late. Albus Dumbledore had already left his painting.
“Professor?” Harry turned around and gave Minerva a pleading look. “Do you have any idea what he’s talking about?”
“I am sorry, Harry, but I don’t.” She moved over to him, wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and pulled him close. “I have known Albus for a very long time, and yet, I feel like I never knew him at all.” She looked about the office - her office now as she was the new Headmistress. “He used us, Harry… He used us to attain his goal.”
“Which was a very legitimate goal,” Kingsley pointed out to her. “Had Voldemort’s rise to power been permanent then…”
“I agree,” Minerva said quickly. “But I don’t agree with his methods! You heard Severus - he was right when he accused Albus of keeping Harry alive so he could die at the right moment! I am sorry, my dear boy,” she said and squeezed Harry’s shoulder. “But Severus was right about that…”
“Professor Snape really cared about me, didn’t he?” Harry’s eyes glazed over with tears, but he managed to fight them back. “He was always so mean… He always picked on me… He was a bully.”
“It was an act.” Minerva felt sorry for her former friend and collogue. “Circumstances demanded he acted that way…”
“When in reality, he cared…” Harry finally lost the battle and wiped away the tears which he had shed. “Why did he have to die, professor? Why did he have to die without me knowing the truth?”
“Go on, Harry,” Minerva said, knowing how important it was that Harry spoke his mind. Keeping it all inside would make things worse for the boy.
“If only I’d had a chance to talk to him… One chance… I want… I need to know… so many things…” Harry raised his gaze and looked at Minerva. “I want to know his real feelings… I want to know…”
“You know he cared,” Minerva pointed out to him. “You saw his memories… You know he would have done anything to keep you safe… to protect you from Voldemort… He cared about you, Harry…”
“Cut yourself some slack,” Kingsley said, after catching Harry’s gaze. “Severus did everything he could in order to make sure you hated him… He never allowed you to look behind the mask he was wearing. You weren’t supposed to know he cared. Remember, he was a master at his art… A true spy…”
“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Harry whispered and stared out of the window, which offered him a perfect view of the Shack. “He could have told me when he was dying! He could have…” Angry with himself, the world, and Severus Snape in particular, he slammed his fist against the wall. Pain shot through his hand, instantly making him regret that move. “He should have told me…”
“From what you said, Harry, I gather that Severus didn’t have much time…” Kingsley sighed. “He was dying and wanted to warn you about Albus’ plan… He didn’t want you to die…”
“I know that, but I still feel angry…” Harry glared at the Shack, wishing Snape had never went there. For one insane moment, he considered using the time turner to travel back in time and to confront Snape. But he would never get permission to do so.
“Minerva! Harry! Kingsley! I was right!”
The three of them turned at once at hearing Albus’ voice, which shook with excitement. Minerva strode toward the painting and cocked her head, her hat balancing delicately on her head. “Albus - give us the truth - tell us now, and if you use riddles then I will...” But she didn’t finish her threat as Albus raised his hands in surrender.
“Don’t you see? Don’t you understand?” Albus’ eyes danced with excitement and he paced restlessly, cursing the limited space his painting presented him with.
“Professor…” Harry said in a tired voice tight with emotion. “Please…”
“Oh right, sorry…” Albus calmed down at seeing Harry’s defeated expression. “No need to be glum, my boy! No reason indeed!”
“Professor…” Harry raised his head and glared at the former Headmaster. “My patience is growing thin…” His right hand turned into a fist; he had a hard time controlling his emotions.
“Let me explain then…” Albus locked gazes with Harry, wanting to make sure the boy understood what he was about to share. “The moment I was named Headmaster, Hogwarts itself reached out to me. The castle consists of magic… it is an entity on his own and the Headmaster, or Headmistress,” he added, looking at Minerva, “needs to be in tune with it. So Headmaster and castle become one… That’s the main reason I was able to apparate at will.”
“But I never experienced anything like that.” Minerva shook her head, growing exasperated. “That never happened to me.”
“Exactly!” Albus exclaimed cheerfully. “And that’s it!”
“I hope someone will stop me when I try to…” Harry’s fist tightened further and his wand appeared in his other hand, seemingly ready to force Albus to make sense.
“Keep calm, Harry… He can’t help himself, I am afraid. He has always been like this,” Kingsley pointed out. “Trust me, it annoys the hell out of me too.” He settled a, hopefully calming, hand on Harry’s shoulder.
“When Minerva was named Headmistress, Hogwarts should have connected with her, but it didn’t! Now why do you reckon that was?” Albus gave them a smile, which slowly turned into a smug grin.
“Albus, we don’t know…You might have realized that!” Minerva spat at him.
“Oh, sorry, well…” Albus had the grace to look ashamed. “It’s because you are not Headmistress here, Minerva.”
“That’s nonsense. The board appointed me. I am the new Headmistress.”
“According to the board of governors, yes, but not as far as Hogwarts is concerned…” Albus started to look more smug with every passing second.
“Professor, please…” Harry was not beyond begging at that point. “Just tell us.”
“My dear boy… Minerva can’t be the new Headmistress because Hogwarts still has a Headmaster…”
Minerva drew in her breath and forgot to breathe. ”What are you saying? That Severus lives? But Harry watched him die!”
Harry suddenly became animated and started shuffling his feet. “Snape’s still alive? Is that what you’re saying? But that can’t be… I watched him die! Ron and Hermione were there too! They witnessed Snape’s death as well!”
Albus moved closer to the edge of the painting and started to whisper, as if worried someone might overhear him. “Severus always was a clever man, Harry. How do you think he survived for so long? As a double-agent he had to be extremely cunning. He always had to stay several steps ahead of both of us… Voldemort and myself. I did wonder, when you told me that Severus didn’t even attempt to defend himself against Voldemort. That doesn’t sound like the Severus I have come to know throughout the years. He always had a backup plan in case something went wrong. Severus would never have entered that Shack without some escape in place - especially considering the fact that you were still alive. Severus might have embarked on a suicide mission had you been killed, but his main prerogative has always been to keep you alive, Harry… He wouldn’t go willingly go to his death knowing he would leave you behind to battle Voldemort. He would have made sure he survived in order to protect you.”
Harry blinked; Dumbledore’s reasoning made sense-made perfect sense, but… ”I watched him die… Voldemort had slashed his throat… Snape was bleeding - profusely… and Nagini attacked him… She had bitten him, sir… The venom dripped from the wounds… There’s no way he could have survived… He died…”
“That’s what Severus wants you to think… He arranged his death, like I orchestrated mine.”
Albus’ words caused Minerva’s skin to crawl. She had closely listened to Albus and thought she knew what the former Headmaster was implying. “But how can Severus still be alive?”
“It is the only explanation, Minerva… Severus must be alive… Otherwise Hogwarts would have reached out to you in order to form that bond. But it didn’t, which can only mean its bond with Severus is still intact.”
“Are you saying that he’s hiding?” Kingsley had listened in disbelief. “But why would he do that? Especially since the truth about him is out. Arthur has told the Wizengamot that Severus was a double agent… No one will banish him to Azkaban!”
“Severus isn’t afraid of Azkaban!” Albus instantly dismissed the suggestion. “Neither does he care about the Wizengamot’s opinion of him… There’s only one person’s opinion that matters to him… Harry’s.”
“You believe he’s hiding because of me?” Harry found that hard to believe. “But why would he do that?”
“You know the truth about him now, Harry. Severus never wanted anyone to know about his dedication to the cause… He made that very clear.”
“I remember… I heard him say that… That no one could know…” Harry frowned upon reliving that moment. “But that doesn’t matter anymore… That’s in the past! Voldemort’s gone! That threat is gone!”
“Yes, Voldemort’s gone, but that doesn’t mean Severus stopped feeling guilty about the part he played in the beginning. Harry, he never forgave himself for trusting Voldemort - for delivering part of that prophecy, and I must admit, to my shame, that I never corrected him. I allowed him to feel guilty because I needed him… I needed him to spy on Voldemort for me.”
Harry suddenly turned away from the painting, and Minerva’s heart went out to him, understanding what he had to be going through. Albus had manipulated them - all of them.
“Where is he?” Harry looked at the painting from over his shoulder. “Where can I find him? Where is hiding…sir?” But that last word carried a lot of resentment and none of the normal warmth.
“I don’t know, Harry… If Severus doesn’t want to be found, it will be hard to contact him. Hogwarts will aid him in every way it can. After all, Severus is still Headmaster here… and I must add that Hogwarts is extremely loyal to its Headmaster - it always was loyal to me, but it seems to have taken a particular liking to Severus… As a former Headmaster myself, I am still connected to the castle, but it’s hiding Severus - even from me.”
“I will find him…” Harry said determinedly. “No matter what it takes… I WILL find him…”
Minerva’s heart twitched in sympathy - she wanted answers as well, but her battle was with Albus, as she was determined to find out about ALL the plans Albus had made - all the scheming which had involved Harry - and Severus - and maybe still did.
“I do hope he will find Severus,” Kingsley said. “That boy deserves a happy ending…”
“And so does, Severus,” Minerva mused. “They both do…”
TBC
Author: Morgana
Author’s Email: morganalebeau@yahoo.com
Mentoring fiction; Severus Snape/ Harry Potter (no slash)
Summary: Severus Snape did have a backup plan when facing Voldemort that night.
Disclaimer: Not mine. No copyright infringement is intended. All mistakes are mine.
Not betaread yet!
The Heart of Everything
For the pain and the sorrow caused by my mistakes
Won't repent to a mortal whom is all to blame
Now I know I won't make it
There will be a time we'll get back our freedom
They can't break what's inside
I'll face it 'cause it's the heart of everything
Open up your eyes
Save yourself from fading away now, don't let it go
Open up your eyes
See what you've become, don't sacrifice
It's truly the heart of everything
Part 1
Minerva McGonagall, Molly and Arthur Weasley - all three of them needed a moment to collect their thoughts and sort out their emotions after withdrawing from the pensieve. The things they had seen had greatly upset them.
“I can’t believe it… I always thought…” Molly shakily walked over to a chair and collapsed on it. “I had always hoped that…but…” She shook her head, as if trying to rid herself of the thoughts that confused her. “All those years, Arthur… Severus was a double-agent and we never… we never really believed Albus when he told us to…”
“To put our trust in Severus,” Arthur finished for his wife. He felt equally shaken and walked over to where she sat. He rested his hands on her shoulders and drew in a deep breath. They were still trying to get to grip with the death of their son and weren’t ready to deal with Severus’ memories, which still occupied the pensieve. He understood why Harry had asked them to bear witness, him in particular because of his ties to the Ministry, but still he wished he didn’t have to deal with this just yet.
Minerva, knowing why this was affecting the Weasleys in such a way, continued to stare at the silver liquid in the pensieve - the last thing that remained of Severus Snape, a man, who she had badly misjudged. Albus and Severus hadn’t confided in her and she knew why - she might have spoiled their plans. “So that’s why he fled… That’s why he didn’t attack.”
Harry nodded. “That was one of the first things to cross my mind as well, professor… Do you remember that moment of shock when professor Snape realized he had to face us? Fight us? When he wavered, I thought it was because he thought himself outnumbered, but now… He never wanted to hurt any of us… He couldn’t engage in battle. He never wanted to injure you.”
“So instead he fled and I… I called him a coward.” Minerva found it hard to hold on to her normal composure, but knew it was important she appeared balanced. Harry needed her acting that way, and so did the Weasleys. Her gaze shifted from Harry to the newest painting which adorned the office. Albus appeared asleep - most conveniently, but she wasn’t going to allow it. “Albus Dumbledore!” To her satisfaction, the wizard startled and looked at her in surprise. “You are responsible for this!”
“If by this you’re referring to Harry’s survival and Voldemort’s demise then yes, I am.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it!” She stalked over to the painting, placed her hands on her hips and glared at the former Headmaster. “You manipulated all of us! Harry most of all! But you also… You used Severus any way you saw fit!”
“It’s what he wanted, Minerva. He wanted to help.”
“No! He wanted to atone for something he never did! It was Wormtail who betrayed the Potter’s! It was Voldemort who killed them! Not Severus! But you nourished Severus’ guilt, didn’t you? You fed it, made sure it would grow so he would never question you! You…” Her voice failed her as she glared at Albus. “You didn’t stop at anything, did you?”
“You must understand, Minerva. We faced destruction! If Voldemort had succeeded, if he had secured his reign, none of you would have survived. Severus knew this - it motivated him to give all of him. The cause…”
“The cause?” Minerva echoed the words and spat them right back at Albus. “You were dealing with people, Albus! And people have feelings!” Albus glared back at her and they had obviously reached a standstill. “This is not the end of it,” Minerva promised. “I will get to the bottom of this!”
“Minerva…” Molly rose from her chair, walked over to the older witch and rested a hand on Minerva’s arm. “You should bury… the dead… You need to… attend to Severus’ remains… like we did… with Fred…” Burying her son had been the hardest thing she had ever done, but Molly knew she had had to follow through. Parents weren’t supposed to outlive their children and her heart ached with loss, but she had carried out her duties. They had lain Fred to rest, and as far as Molly was concerned, Severus deserved nothing less, especially now that they knew the wizard had risked it all, just in order to keep Harry safe.
“I am so sorry for your loss,” Minerva said, sensing how hard this was on Molly. She gathered Molly’s hand in hers and gently squeezed it. “Fred was a brave soul - so very brave. He will never be forgotten.” His name already adorned the wall of the Great Hall, sitting amidst of the names of the ones who had fallen fighting Voldemort.
“Thank you, Minerva… Now listen to me… See to Severus’ remains at once… The longer you wait… the harder it will get.”
Minerva squeezed Molly’s hand once more and felt deeply connected to the other woman. “You are right.” She guided Molly’s hand into Arthur’s as the wizard had joined his wife. Minerva headed for the doorway, drawing upon all her strength - she needed to be strong to carry out the duty which had been placed upon her.
“I am coming along!” Harry ran up to her, and when Minerva stopped to tell him no, he shook his head. “Severus Snape spent most of his life protecting me and fighting Voldemort. I am entitled to this - I need to do this for him, don’t you understand? When I left him at the Shack, I thought he was a traitor! I didn’t offer him any comfort… I…” His voice failed him. “I need to make things right.”
Minerva sighed and eventually nodded her consent. “We shall do this together then, Harry.”
“We’ll need Hagrid to help,” Harry pointed out to her. “We’ll need someone to carry professor Snape.”
Minerva nodded again. “It will be the three of us then, Harry.” She wished things had ended differently; wished defeating Voldemort hadn’t demanded so many lives… so many sacrifices…
///
Minerva understood what Harry had been going through when they arrived at the Shack. Like Harry, she didn’t want to face what was left of Severus Snape, but she also knew they had no choice. They owed Severus - owed him more than they could ever repay.
In the end it was Hagrid who opened the door. The half-giant then stepped aside to let Harry and Minerva enter.
It was Minerva who moved first. She took a step into the Shack and then froze upon seeing the blood smeared floor. She was afraid to raise her gaze and to finally look upon the fallen form She stalled as long as she could. But then, sensing Harry moving forward next to her, she faced her worst fears and looked…
“Professor?”
Harry’s voice barely registered with her, as she was trying to deal with shock herself. The window, although covered in blood and smashed, was just that -- a window.
“Professor, where’s the body? Who took him?”
The panic that echoed in Harry’s voice brought her to and she shook her head. “I have no idea…” She stared at the bloodied floor and wondered the same thing. Where had Severus’ body gone? She swayed, gripped by fear. Hopefully the surviving members of the order of the Phoenix hadn’t taken the body. She could very well imagine them wanting to extract revenge on the man they held responsible for so many deaths.
Hagrid, who realized something was terribly wrong, remained quiet, but did look inside the Shack and he wondered about the same thing. Where had Snape’s body gone?
“Professor…” Harry’s voice shook with emotion and tears dripped down his face, falling onto the darkened wood beneath his feet. “You don’t think they took it, do you? They didn’t burn it, did they? Please, I need… to say… I am sorry…”
Minerva wrapped an arm around Harry, felt him shake himself to pieces and realized she was trembling badly as well. “I don’t know what happened, Harry, but rest assured that I will find out.” What if they had indeed taken the body? Had burned it? Or had done even more vile things to it? But no, they were respectable people and won’t stoop that low - at least, she hoped so.
“What do we do now?” Harry wiped at his tears, but couldn’t bring himself to feeling embarrassed for shedding them. As far as he was concerned he had an excellent reason for doing so.
“I will ask Kingsley,” Minerva said, deciding on a course of action. “I need to contact him any way…” She couldn’t count on Arthur communicating their newest findings to the Minister. And she had to clear Severus’ name. Now that she couldn’t pay her last respects to Severus by looking after his burial, she would make sure his name would be cleared of all charges.
///
“Not there? How can his body be not there? That’s where you left it, didn’t you,” Harry?” Albus seemed confused and frowned deeply.
“I watched him…die… sir…” Harry found it hard to speak. He had done his best NOT to remember what had happened in the Shack and now Dumbledore was making him.
“I believe Harry.” Minerva said in a protective voice. “The only explanation I can come up with is that members of the order found him and… disposed of the body.” There was no graceful way of saying it, and she regretting causing Harry pain. The boy’s tears tore at her soul. Such a cruel way for fate to disclose the truth, without giving them a chance to set things right with Severus. This would haunt them for the rest of their lives…
Albus however remained suspicious. “Let us think this through, my friends. Harry bears witness to Severus’ death. He leaves the Shack and comes here in order to use the pensieve.”
“We left him there, professor,” Harry said, as he approached the painting. “Ron and Hermione watched him die too… When we closed that door behind us, he was still there. Something must have happened after we left… Someone must have come for him…” He cringed. “Do you supposed a Death Eater or…?”
“No, Harry. Voldemort’s supporters were busy fighting on their lord’s behalf. I doubt Voldemort would have allowed any of them to remain behind. He wanted them up front.”
“Then who took the body?” Minerva was about to add something else, when the fireplace cracked and Kingsley stepped into the office, looking grim.
“I received your message, Minerva, but I don’t understand. Severus Snape was a traitor. He supported Voldemort… Do I need to remind you of how we chased him out of Hogwarts that day?”
“Kingsley…” Minerva walked over to him, grabbed his arm, and pulled the wizard toward the pensieve. “Look… and you’ll understand.” Kingsley gave her a suspicious look, but then complied and dove into the swirling memories. Minerva felt ill at ease, and guilty, recalling the scenes she had seen in the pensieve. Severus had practically sacrificed his soul to protect them - all of them.
After several minutes, which seemed to last for all eternity, Kingsley raised his head and straightened his back - looking thoroughly shocked. “How can this be?”
“Severus was an excellent actor…” Albus’ voice carried remorse. “He had to be in order to trick Voldemort… and the lot of you never trusted him to begin with - so, you only saw what you wanted to see. You never looked at his actions in detail… You don’t know half of the things he did in order to secure your lives.”
“Another talk is in order then, Albus,” Minerva said determinedly. “For I will get to the bottom of this. Severus’ name needs to be cleared of all charges. He deserves our recognition and our gratitude.”
“It vexes me..” Albus absentmindedly looked at the Headmasters and Headmistresses of old that occupied the other paintings. “How can his body have vanished like that?”
Minerva sighed. She felt tired to the bone, and as acting Headmistress she was also overseeing the repairs, keeping track of the wounded and the dead. She was trying to get most of the students home, and the ones who were determined to stay, like Harry and Neville, needed her attention as well.
“Minerva… I need you to tell me something…”
“Can’t it wait, Albus? I also need to attend to the living.” She hated herself for putting it so bluntly, but she had to get through to him. “Maybe Kingsley can help you figure everything out.”
“No, Kingsley won’t do,” Albus continued, moving forward in the painting until he pressed against the edge. “Tell me, have you been in contact with Hogwarts?”
Minerva frowned and shrugged helplessly at seeing Harry’s equally confused expression. “Albus, start making sense or…”
“The moment you become Headmaster, or Headmistress, Hogwarts turns into a part of you… The walls start whispering to you… The stairs will shift at your bidding…The candles whisper secrets they caught while listening to the students… The walls, made of brick, mortar and magic, will move at your request… Tell me, Minerva, have you experienced any of these things?”
Minerva shifted her gaze from Harry to Albus. “I have no idea what you’re talking about…”
“Ah!” Albus exclaimed and paced the confines of his painting. “But…” He stopped pacing, came to a halt, shook his head, and then resumed walking. “That would mean… but that can’t be… How could that be? It’s not possible…”
“Professor…” Harry walked over to the painting and placed his hands on either side of the wooden frame. “I agree with professor McGonagall. What are you talking about?”
Albus’ brow deepened and it took him a moment to make eye contact with Harry. “I don’t want to give you hope when I shouldn’t. I need a little time to make sure…”
“Albus!” But Minerva was too late. Albus Dumbledore had already left his painting.
“Professor?” Harry turned around and gave Minerva a pleading look. “Do you have any idea what he’s talking about?”
“I am sorry, Harry, but I don’t.” She moved over to him, wrapped an arm around his shoulder, and pulled him close. “I have known Albus for a very long time, and yet, I feel like I never knew him at all.” She looked about the office - her office now as she was the new Headmistress. “He used us, Harry… He used us to attain his goal.”
“Which was a very legitimate goal,” Kingsley pointed out to her. “Had Voldemort’s rise to power been permanent then…”
“I agree,” Minerva said quickly. “But I don’t agree with his methods! You heard Severus - he was right when he accused Albus of keeping Harry alive so he could die at the right moment! I am sorry, my dear boy,” she said and squeezed Harry’s shoulder. “But Severus was right about that…”
“Professor Snape really cared about me, didn’t he?” Harry’s eyes glazed over with tears, but he managed to fight them back. “He was always so mean… He always picked on me… He was a bully.”
“It was an act.” Minerva felt sorry for her former friend and collogue. “Circumstances demanded he acted that way…”
“When in reality, he cared…” Harry finally lost the battle and wiped away the tears which he had shed. “Why did he have to die, professor? Why did he have to die without me knowing the truth?”
“Go on, Harry,” Minerva said, knowing how important it was that Harry spoke his mind. Keeping it all inside would make things worse for the boy.
“If only I’d had a chance to talk to him… One chance… I want… I need to know… so many things…” Harry raised his gaze and looked at Minerva. “I want to know his real feelings… I want to know…”
“You know he cared,” Minerva pointed out to him. “You saw his memories… You know he would have done anything to keep you safe… to protect you from Voldemort… He cared about you, Harry…”
“Cut yourself some slack,” Kingsley said, after catching Harry’s gaze. “Severus did everything he could in order to make sure you hated him… He never allowed you to look behind the mask he was wearing. You weren’t supposed to know he cared. Remember, he was a master at his art… A true spy…”
“That doesn’t make me feel better,” Harry whispered and stared out of the window, which offered him a perfect view of the Shack. “He could have told me when he was dying! He could have…” Angry with himself, the world, and Severus Snape in particular, he slammed his fist against the wall. Pain shot through his hand, instantly making him regret that move. “He should have told me…”
“From what you said, Harry, I gather that Severus didn’t have much time…” Kingsley sighed. “He was dying and wanted to warn you about Albus’ plan… He didn’t want you to die…”
“I know that, but I still feel angry…” Harry glared at the Shack, wishing Snape had never went there. For one insane moment, he considered using the time turner to travel back in time and to confront Snape. But he would never get permission to do so.
“Minerva! Harry! Kingsley! I was right!”
The three of them turned at once at hearing Albus’ voice, which shook with excitement. Minerva strode toward the painting and cocked her head, her hat balancing delicately on her head. “Albus - give us the truth - tell us now, and if you use riddles then I will...” But she didn’t finish her threat as Albus raised his hands in surrender.
“Don’t you see? Don’t you understand?” Albus’ eyes danced with excitement and he paced restlessly, cursing the limited space his painting presented him with.
“Professor…” Harry said in a tired voice tight with emotion. “Please…”
“Oh right, sorry…” Albus calmed down at seeing Harry’s defeated expression. “No need to be glum, my boy! No reason indeed!”
“Professor…” Harry raised his head and glared at the former Headmaster. “My patience is growing thin…” His right hand turned into a fist; he had a hard time controlling his emotions.
“Let me explain then…” Albus locked gazes with Harry, wanting to make sure the boy understood what he was about to share. “The moment I was named Headmaster, Hogwarts itself reached out to me. The castle consists of magic… it is an entity on his own and the Headmaster, or Headmistress,” he added, looking at Minerva, “needs to be in tune with it. So Headmaster and castle become one… That’s the main reason I was able to apparate at will.”
“But I never experienced anything like that.” Minerva shook her head, growing exasperated. “That never happened to me.”
“Exactly!” Albus exclaimed cheerfully. “And that’s it!”
“I hope someone will stop me when I try to…” Harry’s fist tightened further and his wand appeared in his other hand, seemingly ready to force Albus to make sense.
“Keep calm, Harry… He can’t help himself, I am afraid. He has always been like this,” Kingsley pointed out. “Trust me, it annoys the hell out of me too.” He settled a, hopefully calming, hand on Harry’s shoulder.
“When Minerva was named Headmistress, Hogwarts should have connected with her, but it didn’t! Now why do you reckon that was?” Albus gave them a smile, which slowly turned into a smug grin.
“Albus, we don’t know…You might have realized that!” Minerva spat at him.
“Oh, sorry, well…” Albus had the grace to look ashamed. “It’s because you are not Headmistress here, Minerva.”
“That’s nonsense. The board appointed me. I am the new Headmistress.”
“According to the board of governors, yes, but not as far as Hogwarts is concerned…” Albus started to look more smug with every passing second.
“Professor, please…” Harry was not beyond begging at that point. “Just tell us.”
“My dear boy… Minerva can’t be the new Headmistress because Hogwarts still has a Headmaster…”
Minerva drew in her breath and forgot to breathe. ”What are you saying? That Severus lives? But Harry watched him die!”
Harry suddenly became animated and started shuffling his feet. “Snape’s still alive? Is that what you’re saying? But that can’t be… I watched him die! Ron and Hermione were there too! They witnessed Snape’s death as well!”
Albus moved closer to the edge of the painting and started to whisper, as if worried someone might overhear him. “Severus always was a clever man, Harry. How do you think he survived for so long? As a double-agent he had to be extremely cunning. He always had to stay several steps ahead of both of us… Voldemort and myself. I did wonder, when you told me that Severus didn’t even attempt to defend himself against Voldemort. That doesn’t sound like the Severus I have come to know throughout the years. He always had a backup plan in case something went wrong. Severus would never have entered that Shack without some escape in place - especially considering the fact that you were still alive. Severus might have embarked on a suicide mission had you been killed, but his main prerogative has always been to keep you alive, Harry… He wouldn’t go willingly go to his death knowing he would leave you behind to battle Voldemort. He would have made sure he survived in order to protect you.”
Harry blinked; Dumbledore’s reasoning made sense-made perfect sense, but… ”I watched him die… Voldemort had slashed his throat… Snape was bleeding - profusely… and Nagini attacked him… She had bitten him, sir… The venom dripped from the wounds… There’s no way he could have survived… He died…”
“That’s what Severus wants you to think… He arranged his death, like I orchestrated mine.”
Albus’ words caused Minerva’s skin to crawl. She had closely listened to Albus and thought she knew what the former Headmaster was implying. “But how can Severus still be alive?”
“It is the only explanation, Minerva… Severus must be alive… Otherwise Hogwarts would have reached out to you in order to form that bond. But it didn’t, which can only mean its bond with Severus is still intact.”
“Are you saying that he’s hiding?” Kingsley had listened in disbelief. “But why would he do that? Especially since the truth about him is out. Arthur has told the Wizengamot that Severus was a double agent… No one will banish him to Azkaban!”
“Severus isn’t afraid of Azkaban!” Albus instantly dismissed the suggestion. “Neither does he care about the Wizengamot’s opinion of him… There’s only one person’s opinion that matters to him… Harry’s.”
“You believe he’s hiding because of me?” Harry found that hard to believe. “But why would he do that?”
“You know the truth about him now, Harry. Severus never wanted anyone to know about his dedication to the cause… He made that very clear.”
“I remember… I heard him say that… That no one could know…” Harry frowned upon reliving that moment. “But that doesn’t matter anymore… That’s in the past! Voldemort’s gone! That threat is gone!”
“Yes, Voldemort’s gone, but that doesn’t mean Severus stopped feeling guilty about the part he played in the beginning. Harry, he never forgave himself for trusting Voldemort - for delivering part of that prophecy, and I must admit, to my shame, that I never corrected him. I allowed him to feel guilty because I needed him… I needed him to spy on Voldemort for me.”
Harry suddenly turned away from the painting, and Minerva’s heart went out to him, understanding what he had to be going through. Albus had manipulated them - all of them.
“Where is he?” Harry looked at the painting from over his shoulder. “Where can I find him? Where is hiding…sir?” But that last word carried a lot of resentment and none of the normal warmth.
“I don’t know, Harry… If Severus doesn’t want to be found, it will be hard to contact him. Hogwarts will aid him in every way it can. After all, Severus is still Headmaster here… and I must add that Hogwarts is extremely loyal to its Headmaster - it always was loyal to me, but it seems to have taken a particular liking to Severus… As a former Headmaster myself, I am still connected to the castle, but it’s hiding Severus - even from me.”
“I will find him…” Harry said determinedly. “No matter what it takes… I WILL find him…”
Minerva’s heart twitched in sympathy - she wanted answers as well, but her battle was with Albus, as she was determined to find out about ALL the plans Albus had made - all the scheming which had involved Harry - and Severus - and maybe still did.
“I do hope he will find Severus,” Kingsley said. “That boy deserves a happy ending…”
“And so does, Severus,” Minerva mused. “They both do…”
TBC