Sam/Dean in 9x13 (spoilers)...Contextualizing the brothers' current issues
So these are my somewhat disjointed thoughts on the humdinger of a Sam/Dean closing conversation in 913, and my attempts to contextualize it in terms of the boys' overall characterization. I'm just trying to make sense of it all and this is what I've come up with, though it's far from conclusive. SPOILERS through 913 but none beyond that.
So in the beginning there was Sam. He decided to leave the hunting life and try being “normal” in college. He never stopped loving his family, but he decided that was what he needed to do for himself.
Dean never really forgave him for that. Dean perceived Sam as abandoning him and turning their back on family. All Dean wanted was for Sam to come back.
Well, he did. And fast forward to six years later, when Sam (in Frontierland) admits that he can’t conceive of a life outside of hunting.
And in the mean time, what happened to Dean? Well…the Crossroads deal, part one. And I do think that Sam in the S3/4 hiatus was in essentially the same place as Dean was at the end of S2. Sam was willing to do anything, make any deal, to get Dean back. And when he couldn’t, he decided to give in to the demon blood.
It’s interesting that it was in S4 that, for the only time, Dean expressed a willingness to let Sam die. He said that he’d found his line (421); that he wouldn’t let his brother become a monster, and implied that he’d rather let him die.
So then Dean decided that HE wanted the normal life. Something that he did pursue after Sam died and went to Hell in the S5/6 hiatus. However, Dean never gave up looking for Sam.
In S5 (518 PONR), Sam evidenced a great amount of trust and faith in Dean, which was contrary to a lot of S4. And Dean ended up coming through. In 522, he essentially said that he did trust Sam in Sam’s plan to jump into the cage. He wasn’t happy about it, but he a) did trust Sam; b) was willing to let him die; and c) seemed to perceive Sam as a grown up that Dean would/could learn to live without.
Sam came back. But this time he was soulless and then he had a wall and he had issues. And it’s like, a lot of the character development that occurred in S5 was dialed back.
Let’s fast forward to S8, or the S7/8 hiatus. Sam decided at that time not to look for Dean. He decided Dean was dead and/or somewhere utterly inaccessible to Sam, so Sam decided, for himself, to move on.
This is the first time we’ve seen him really able to do that since before the series started. And it’s a marked departure from his position in 618.
So what changed? We have Sam’s line in late S6 (can’t remember the ep…) that he felt like he did a lot of bad stuff, but after 100 years of torture in Hell, he felt he’d paid his dues. Which makes sense, so maybe that was why Sam was able to move on to a “normal” life in between S7 and S8.
Sam in S8 also decides to undergo the trials. But what’s interesting is why he decides to do that. He says that for him, unlike for Dean, the trials are NOT a suicide run. He can see a life outside of hunting, which may or may not include Amelia, but Sam’s not doing the trials because he has a death wish.
Then, we have 823. As the final trial, Sam has to cure a demon by injecting him with his own purified blood. In order to purify his blood, he has to go to confession.
Dean gives him a laundry list of things to “confess.” There may have been some issues with what he says, but primarily I think it can be chalked up to the fact that Dean’s allergic to talking about things, and so he’s bound to let them out in inappropriate outbursts like this.
What Sam ends up confessing - under an obviously physical burden from the trials - is that his greatest sin was all the times he let Dean down. And he also explicitly blames Dean for trusting people outside of him - he says, “another angel…another vampire.”
I don’t know why Sam would include Cas in that list, when other statements he’s made would indicate that he also perceives Cas as family. But the Benny thing is totally consistent with Sam’s behavior in S8.
In early S8, before Sam knows who Benny is, he reacts weirdly when Dean goes to see Benny. He doesn’t understand why Dean is taking off in the middle of the night, and Dean’s explanation, that he has his own grown-up, personal stuff, seems to baffle Sam.
And then Sam continues to have a problem with Benny’s presence. This may partly be because Benny’s a vampire, but they’ve trusted monsters before. Sam’s problem seems to be caused by the fact that Dean states, explicitly and more than once, that he may trust Benny more than he trusts Sam. That at least Benny has never let him down.
And then Sam brings that up here. And Dean’s response is that he killed Benny to save Sam. Which is essentially true - okay, the “death” was more of a way to get Benny into Purgatory, and Dean had every intention for Benny to come back with Sam - but in the literal sense of the word, he killed Benny to save Sam.
And that is a problem. That is a problem that BOTH boys share in S8 and admit to in 823. They are both codependent on each other. Sam’s behavior throughout S8 confirms it. He may be healthier in that he’s admitted he doesn’t blame himself for everything ever anymore, and because he does see a way out and a way to a normal life.
But in 823, Sam is just as codependent on Dean as Dean is on Sam.
And this is the other thing. So lately Sam has been including Dean’s behavior in 823 with what he did in 901.
Um, no. It’s not the same thing. Dean in 901 made a decision for Sam, allowed an angel to possess his body while Sam was essentially incapable of true consent.
In 823, both parties are available and fully aware. Dean makes his plea and then Sam makes a cognizable, fully conscious and fully realized decision to stop, himself. So he cannot come and blame Dean for that now.
Moreover, Sam in 913 seems to be saying that Dean is codependent on him. Well, no shit. But is anyone going to analyze Sam’s decision that he is ready and willing to die?
If someone wants to die, does that mean that they should just be able to? Dean fucked up in 901. But what was the alternative? Was he just supposed to let Sam die?
Sam says that Dean saved him for himself. That Dean just can’t stand the thought of being alone.
Which may be partly true, but Dean saved Sam because he loves him. Maybe unhealthily so, but there it is.
And Sam says that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t make the same call. And I think that may also be a true statement. If for no other reason than that he didn’t look for Dean in Purgatory.
But Sam displays a lot of codependence himself in S8, and I’d like that to be addressed at some point.
And essentially, at the end of the day, Dean is so codependent because he doesn’t have any self-worth. He doesn’t think he is worth anything outside of his ability to take care of Sam, and that is why, even seven years later, he’s willing to make the same decision he made in S2.
That is the main issue. Dean’s abandonment issues stem back to day one, and have never really been addressed.
And I would like to see addressed WHY Sam is okay with dying, and whether or not we, the viewer, are supposed to think that’s okay. Are we supposed to think that Dean should have let Sam die?
Sam’s willingness to die in 823 during the trials seems to be because he thinks he kept letting Dean down, and Dean trusted people besides him. SO not healthy. And if his willingness to die in 901 was traceable to that, then are we really supposed to think that Dean should have let him?
I think the writing on SPN right now has a lot of inconsistencies. Also they are doing this storyline one gut-wrenching, two-minute conversation per episode at a time, which is a painstaking way to get it done. But I’m just hoping it’s going somewhere good. MAYBE it is. Till then, I’ll just be over here trying to make sense of it all.
So in the beginning there was Sam. He decided to leave the hunting life and try being “normal” in college. He never stopped loving his family, but he decided that was what he needed to do for himself.
Dean never really forgave him for that. Dean perceived Sam as abandoning him and turning their back on family. All Dean wanted was for Sam to come back.
Well, he did. And fast forward to six years later, when Sam (in Frontierland) admits that he can’t conceive of a life outside of hunting.
And in the mean time, what happened to Dean? Well…the Crossroads deal, part one. And I do think that Sam in the S3/4 hiatus was in essentially the same place as Dean was at the end of S2. Sam was willing to do anything, make any deal, to get Dean back. And when he couldn’t, he decided to give in to the demon blood.
It’s interesting that it was in S4 that, for the only time, Dean expressed a willingness to let Sam die. He said that he’d found his line (421); that he wouldn’t let his brother become a monster, and implied that he’d rather let him die.
So then Dean decided that HE wanted the normal life. Something that he did pursue after Sam died and went to Hell in the S5/6 hiatus. However, Dean never gave up looking for Sam.
In S5 (518 PONR), Sam evidenced a great amount of trust and faith in Dean, which was contrary to a lot of S4. And Dean ended up coming through. In 522, he essentially said that he did trust Sam in Sam’s plan to jump into the cage. He wasn’t happy about it, but he a) did trust Sam; b) was willing to let him die; and c) seemed to perceive Sam as a grown up that Dean would/could learn to live without.
Sam came back. But this time he was soulless and then he had a wall and he had issues. And it’s like, a lot of the character development that occurred in S5 was dialed back.
Let’s fast forward to S8, or the S7/8 hiatus. Sam decided at that time not to look for Dean. He decided Dean was dead and/or somewhere utterly inaccessible to Sam, so Sam decided, for himself, to move on.
This is the first time we’ve seen him really able to do that since before the series started. And it’s a marked departure from his position in 618.
So what changed? We have Sam’s line in late S6 (can’t remember the ep…) that he felt like he did a lot of bad stuff, but after 100 years of torture in Hell, he felt he’d paid his dues. Which makes sense, so maybe that was why Sam was able to move on to a “normal” life in between S7 and S8.
Sam in S8 also decides to undergo the trials. But what’s interesting is why he decides to do that. He says that for him, unlike for Dean, the trials are NOT a suicide run. He can see a life outside of hunting, which may or may not include Amelia, but Sam’s not doing the trials because he has a death wish.
Then, we have 823. As the final trial, Sam has to cure a demon by injecting him with his own purified blood. In order to purify his blood, he has to go to confession.
Dean gives him a laundry list of things to “confess.” There may have been some issues with what he says, but primarily I think it can be chalked up to the fact that Dean’s allergic to talking about things, and so he’s bound to let them out in inappropriate outbursts like this.
What Sam ends up confessing - under an obviously physical burden from the trials - is that his greatest sin was all the times he let Dean down. And he also explicitly blames Dean for trusting people outside of him - he says, “another angel…another vampire.”
I don’t know why Sam would include Cas in that list, when other statements he’s made would indicate that he also perceives Cas as family. But the Benny thing is totally consistent with Sam’s behavior in S8.
In early S8, before Sam knows who Benny is, he reacts weirdly when Dean goes to see Benny. He doesn’t understand why Dean is taking off in the middle of the night, and Dean’s explanation, that he has his own grown-up, personal stuff, seems to baffle Sam.
And then Sam continues to have a problem with Benny’s presence. This may partly be because Benny’s a vampire, but they’ve trusted monsters before. Sam’s problem seems to be caused by the fact that Dean states, explicitly and more than once, that he may trust Benny more than he trusts Sam. That at least Benny has never let him down.
And then Sam brings that up here. And Dean’s response is that he killed Benny to save Sam. Which is essentially true - okay, the “death” was more of a way to get Benny into Purgatory, and Dean had every intention for Benny to come back with Sam - but in the literal sense of the word, he killed Benny to save Sam.
And that is a problem. That is a problem that BOTH boys share in S8 and admit to in 823. They are both codependent on each other. Sam’s behavior throughout S8 confirms it. He may be healthier in that he’s admitted he doesn’t blame himself for everything ever anymore, and because he does see a way out and a way to a normal life.
But in 823, Sam is just as codependent on Dean as Dean is on Sam.
And this is the other thing. So lately Sam has been including Dean’s behavior in 823 with what he did in 901.
Um, no. It’s not the same thing. Dean in 901 made a decision for Sam, allowed an angel to possess his body while Sam was essentially incapable of true consent.
In 823, both parties are available and fully aware. Dean makes his plea and then Sam makes a cognizable, fully conscious and fully realized decision to stop, himself. So he cannot come and blame Dean for that now.
Moreover, Sam in 913 seems to be saying that Dean is codependent on him. Well, no shit. But is anyone going to analyze Sam’s decision that he is ready and willing to die?
If someone wants to die, does that mean that they should just be able to? Dean fucked up in 901. But what was the alternative? Was he just supposed to let Sam die?
Sam says that Dean saved him for himself. That Dean just can’t stand the thought of being alone.
Which may be partly true, but Dean saved Sam because he loves him. Maybe unhealthily so, but there it is.
And Sam says that if the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t make the same call. And I think that may also be a true statement. If for no other reason than that he didn’t look for Dean in Purgatory.
But Sam displays a lot of codependence himself in S8, and I’d like that to be addressed at some point.
And essentially, at the end of the day, Dean is so codependent because he doesn’t have any self-worth. He doesn’t think he is worth anything outside of his ability to take care of Sam, and that is why, even seven years later, he’s willing to make the same decision he made in S2.
That is the main issue. Dean’s abandonment issues stem back to day one, and have never really been addressed.
And I would like to see addressed WHY Sam is okay with dying, and whether or not we, the viewer, are supposed to think that’s okay. Are we supposed to think that Dean should have let Sam die?
Sam’s willingness to die in 823 during the trials seems to be because he thinks he kept letting Dean down, and Dean trusted people besides him. SO not healthy. And if his willingness to die in 901 was traceable to that, then are we really supposed to think that Dean should have let him?
I think the writing on SPN right now has a lot of inconsistencies. Also they are doing this storyline one gut-wrenching, two-minute conversation per episode at a time, which is a painstaking way to get it done. But I’m just hoping it’s going somewhere good. MAYBE it is. Till then, I’ll just be over here trying to make sense of it all.