Fic: Uncertainties 1/1
Title: Uncertainties
Author: BohoFemm
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Morgan/Reid, Garcia.
Spoilers/Warnings: Character Death.
Summary: The last thing he wants is to face reality.
Notes: Something that just popped into my head...
Spencer Reid stares blankly forward, struggling to ignore the gnawing worry in the pit of his stomach. It shouldn't hurt this bad. Not after what he's seen Derek go through in the past two weeks and yet...it hurts so badly that he can barely breathe.
He tightly grips Garcia's arm. She winces but doesn't move. Why should she move? She knows he needs the support now more than ever. He hasn't stumbled once throughout the entire ordeal. He's not going to start now. That's the only thing that's given...
They chose a simple pine box. Morgan always insisted if something were to happen, he only wanted something simple. He wasn't one for huge goodbyes. In fact, he hated goodbyes. He claimed they always seemed so permanent when they shouldn't be. He promised that he would always see them again and goodbye made it seem as if he would be gone forever. Nothing would keep him away from someone if he loved them enough.
Reid can't face Derek's mother. Every few seconds, she glances mournfully in his direction but he says nothing. They haven't really talked over the past two weeks. Both have focused their attention on Derek, ensuring that toes never got stepped on.
Reid glances down at the thorny rose piercing his palm. He just watches the blood drip into the grass, making no movement to staunch the flow of blood. He gazes around, his eyes momentarily connecting with Rossi's. Rossi moves, breaking the connection. Reid realizes how awful he must look but he doesn't care.
No...he can't care.
He's the reason Derek's gone. If he hadn't called him, reminding him to pick up dog food, he never would have been at that intersection at that moment...when a driver, blinded by the sun, rammed the car. He would have already been home, annoyed at having to go out again but alive nonetheless.
Reid knows Garcia's worried about him. He hasn't been in their bedroom since the accident, preferring to sleep on the couch. If he's alone in their bed, it will become too real and he doesn't know if he can handle it. Instead, he sleeps on the couch, watching Clooney pace and look for his master. He wonders if the dog knows the truth...
Suddenly, he finds himself being dragged to his feet. Glancing around, he realizes the service is over. Miraculously, he's managed to tune out most of it.
He watches as the box is lowered into the ground. Suddenly, he fights the desire to throw himself in. He wants this pain to go away. He wants to feel again. He wants to smile...to feel warm in the sun. He wishes he could never have fallen in love with such a special man. Then maybe losing him wouldn't hurt so bad.
Getting the call...the accident...the coma...it all seems so surreal. There is no way this could have happened. Maybe it's just an awful dream.
Thwack.
He jerks his head up. They've started to fill the hole with dirt. Suddenly, he falls to his knees, his ears covered by his hands. Finally, he stumbles, certain of a reality without Derek Morgan.
And he's just not sure if he's ready to face it.
Author: BohoFemm
Rating: PG
Characters/Pairings: Morgan/Reid, Garcia.
Spoilers/Warnings: Character Death.
Summary: The last thing he wants is to face reality.
Notes: Something that just popped into my head...
Spencer Reid stares blankly forward, struggling to ignore the gnawing worry in the pit of his stomach. It shouldn't hurt this bad. Not after what he's seen Derek go through in the past two weeks and yet...it hurts so badly that he can barely breathe.
He tightly grips Garcia's arm. She winces but doesn't move. Why should she move? She knows he needs the support now more than ever. He hasn't stumbled once throughout the entire ordeal. He's not going to start now. That's the only thing that's given...
They chose a simple pine box. Morgan always insisted if something were to happen, he only wanted something simple. He wasn't one for huge goodbyes. In fact, he hated goodbyes. He claimed they always seemed so permanent when they shouldn't be. He promised that he would always see them again and goodbye made it seem as if he would be gone forever. Nothing would keep him away from someone if he loved them enough.
Reid can't face Derek's mother. Every few seconds, she glances mournfully in his direction but he says nothing. They haven't really talked over the past two weeks. Both have focused their attention on Derek, ensuring that toes never got stepped on.
Reid glances down at the thorny rose piercing his palm. He just watches the blood drip into the grass, making no movement to staunch the flow of blood. He gazes around, his eyes momentarily connecting with Rossi's. Rossi moves, breaking the connection. Reid realizes how awful he must look but he doesn't care.
No...he can't care.
He's the reason Derek's gone. If he hadn't called him, reminding him to pick up dog food, he never would have been at that intersection at that moment...when a driver, blinded by the sun, rammed the car. He would have already been home, annoyed at having to go out again but alive nonetheless.
Reid knows Garcia's worried about him. He hasn't been in their bedroom since the accident, preferring to sleep on the couch. If he's alone in their bed, it will become too real and he doesn't know if he can handle it. Instead, he sleeps on the couch, watching Clooney pace and look for his master. He wonders if the dog knows the truth...
Suddenly, he finds himself being dragged to his feet. Glancing around, he realizes the service is over. Miraculously, he's managed to tune out most of it.
He watches as the box is lowered into the ground. Suddenly, he fights the desire to throw himself in. He wants this pain to go away. He wants to feel again. He wants to smile...to feel warm in the sun. He wishes he could never have fallen in love with such a special man. Then maybe losing him wouldn't hurt so bad.
Getting the call...the accident...the coma...it all seems so surreal. There is no way this could have happened. Maybe it's just an awful dream.
Thwack.
He jerks his head up. They've started to fill the hole with dirt. Suddenly, he falls to his knees, his ears covered by his hands. Finally, he stumbles, certain of a reality without Derek Morgan.
And he's just not sure if he's ready to face it.