(no subject)
yikesss. i just binged on a freaking eggplant parm sub and some calzone. =( i feel like such a fat disgusting failure. i can't even lose ten fucking pounds. let alone trying for 40 more. i hate myself and i wish i had more control. when i came home colin's mom had it on a plate for me and sat down to eat. I HATE WHEN THIS HAPPENS. plus i was starving and it just looked and smelled so good. fuck =(. i'm not eating ANYTHING tomorrow. not even a salad or soup. i don't give a fuck. i'll do that for as long as i fucking can. coffee and tea is where i'll get enough sustenance to not die. this weekend i'm going to do a salt water flush too. it's a mild laxative that gets all of the shit outta your system (no pun intended.) you can lose up to five pounds just doing that. i'm sure there's lots of crap (again, no pun) in my innards cause i've eaten so much all weekend. i'm going to be 1x3 by next thursday, and i don't care what it takes. that's 10lbs in 10 days. yup. i'm being way too easy on myself.
so i've thought a lot about shit and i've decided that i'm going to start going to math and taking all of school more seriously. i'm in it, and there's nothing i can do to get out of it, so i might as well do a good job at it. i'm not doing this for anyone but myself. i will have a lot less to worry about if i just take care of things. and i'm going to go out of my way now to get a job. they're applying at the dollar store and a local deli, and probably a lot more places. i'm going to save up and hopefully move out with colin in a few months, because i really can't take this place anymore. i have to write a paper on abortion. these are apparent aborted baby parts....
i think that shit's fake. besides, what kind of sicko saves dead fetus parts and lays them over a quarter to take photos of?
so i've thought a lot about shit and i've decided that i'm going to start going to math and taking all of school more seriously. i'm in it, and there's nothing i can do to get out of it, so i might as well do a good job at it. i'm not doing this for anyone but myself. i will have a lot less to worry about if i just take care of things. and i'm going to go out of my way now to get a job. they're applying at the dollar store and a local deli, and probably a lot more places. i'm going to save up and hopefully move out with colin in a few months, because i really can't take this place anymore. i have to write a paper on abortion. these are apparent aborted baby parts....
i think that shit's fake. besides, what kind of sicko saves dead fetus parts and lays them over a quarter to take photos of?