Fic: Right back to you (Sho/Nino, Ohno/Nino) (1/3)
Title: Right back to you
Pairing: Sho/Nino, Ohno/Nino friendship and a tiny bit more
Rating: PG-13
Genre: supernatural, romance
Words: 23,600 ahaha yeah.
Summary: Things never go as planned and Nino learned that when he first stopped time at age seven. He is still learning today, now that he’s seventeen and has to face a whole new set of problems.
Warnings: bits of bad language and unrequited love
Notes: So this is it, the continuation of my time shifter story The world is yours. Written for the shoneenclub contest, original post here and also up on AO3 here. Looked over by the ever so awesome eufry. Oh, and this is not the end, there's still a bunch of other things to come in this universe. Stupid universe which got out of control.
Nino knows exactly how life goes. He knows the rules and knows that he has to keep to them. His education may not have been the best (though he knows his mother tried her best), but he believes that by now he's smart enough to tell right from wrong.
*
Nino was seven when he first stopped time. It happened when his mother had been in the middle of berating him for throwing his Gameboy to the ground in a fit of rage after losing a game. All of a sudden everything turned quiet, eerily still. His mother's eyes were strangely wide, her mouth forming a soundless “O”. Nino laughed, but the sound got lost and only brought back uneasiness.
Nino stared at his mother. He poked her. Ran a circle around her.
“Mum?” he squeaked, agitated. After that he didn't dare say anything further.
His hands were shaking when he picked up his Gameboy and ran up the stairs to his room. The fish in their tank weren't moving. The hands on his clock stood still.
Seven-year-old Nino had no idea what was happening. He jumped onto his bed, covering himself with his blanket and hoping it would stop. Hoping that it would go on.
*
Nino knows right from wrong.
*
At first he was just angry that the TV picture had to freeze up in the middle of one of Doctor Slump's exciting experiments. Of course it had to be then of all times.
But eleven-year-old Nino was used to it by now. So he pulled up his knees to wrap his arms around them and waited. He knew it would be over soon.
Only this time it wasn't.
After a while Nino grew restless and did something he had sworn he wouldn't do again while time was standing still: he moved and got up. His mother hadn't believed him the first time it had happened - of course she wouldn't, he had been seven and unable to explain - but she had been visibly puzzled as to why he hadn't been standing in front of her anymore. Puzzlement had soon turned into anger and he hadn't been reunited with his Gameboy until after one very, very long week. It didn't stop after that.
For that reason he had decided to simply wait it out in one spot and not move around much. That way he avoided drawing attention.
But usually it wouldn't last so long. Of course he couldn't always judge for how long time was standing still, because no clock ever worked; but he had always relied on his gut feeling. It had always felt quite short. Ten, sometimes twenty minutes, max. One time he had even tried counting the seconds but had lost count after four minutes and given up.
But those few minutes were definitely over now. It was starting to feel like hours. And still, nothing was moving, no sound came from anywhere.
So Nino got up and went up to his room. He still had the fish tank. The fish were floating in the water, immobile as if frozen. As if they weren't even real.
His gaze fixed on the fish, he plopped down on his bed and pulled the blanket protectively around himself - something he hadn't done in a long time. He waited.
At some point tears were welling up in his eyes. He couldn't fight them because they were not just tears, they were the beginning of desperation gripping his body. Desperation which grew more intense and, with each passing second, threatened to choke him. When he finally let the tears spill it was more like a salvation, a way to release some of the pressure.
So Nino cried and cried and cried, hoping desperately that time would start again soon. He started to sweat under the covers because it was way too hot, but he burrowed even deeper into them. He wouldn't let go of this security blanket from his childhood. Not now that he so urgently needed it.
“Move. Please, please, move,” he whispered to one of his frozen fish every time he was about to hyperventilate, when he was breathing way too fast, and when the question arose whether time would ever start flowing again.
Or if it might stand still forever.
After what felt like two days, his fish were swimming merrily around the tank again. Nino could hardly believe it. At first he just stared at the tank, watching the fish dash to and fro in the water. Then he stood up on shaky legs, his eyes red from crying. He had no idea how he was supposed explain to his mother why he looked so drained, why he wanted nothing more than to squeeze her tight and never let go. Why he wanted to cry so much but couldn't find any tears anymore. Why he couldn't stop shaking.
His hand was already poised over his doorknob when he realized he could never explain it to her.
And that it was high time to act.
In this moment, eleven-year-old Nino had the idea, for the first time, to start and try controlling time.
*
However, knowing what is right does not prevent one from doing wrong. Day after day, Nino gets confronted with this fact.
He would love to go and see Sho.
Sometimes he even gets as far as standing in front of his door, finger hovering above the door bell next to the beautifully engraved metal plaque reading Sakurai. But then he stops, sometimes just himself, sometimes the flow of time and freezing everything around him. He stops and disappears again.
He would love to go see Sho, talk to him, maybe even kiss him. But he can't. He knows he has disappointed Sho and will continue disappointing him. He knows that Sho doesn't feel safe in his presence and doesn't want to touch him in fear of his life rushing by too fast. And Nino can understand that. He knows the fears connected with the power he possesses. Which Sho also has.
He knows it's wrong not to go to Sho and that it's wrong not to apologize.
But-
Knowing what's wrong doesn't compel him to do the right thing.
So he does something in between.
*
He packs up his stuff - the small amount of money he stole from the bank (his guilty conscience is a constant companion flaring up - in particular whenever he is handling the bank notes), some clothes - writes the letter to his mother which he has wanted to write ever since he was eleven, and leaves. Just leaves everything behind.
Nino can count on one hand the times he's been to Tokyo. His mother has always hated the loud buzz of the city and when his father left with the intention of finding a new apartment in Tokyo, visits were completely over. Ever since, his mother has even forbidden him to take the three-hour-trip to Tokyo by train.
Now he's just hoping his mother will understand.
The trip doesn't seem long; too many thoughts occupy his mind. He's planning his first steps. Top priority on his list is finding cheap accommodation, start searching for a job, then invest himself in his true search. Finding another time shifter should be a lot easier in Tokyo than in his hometown. There are so many people in Tokyo after all. And if his freezing time a little already caught Sho's attention, it should go even faster in Tokyo.
Somewhere in the back of his mind the idea crops up that he's lying to himself. That Sho was special and that here in Tokyo he will look in vain for something he does not really want to find. But Nino swallows, shakes his head and pushes the thought back to where it came from - the farthest corner of his mind.
Nino gets off the train at Shinagawa station and immediately feels completely overwhelmed. He has forgotten just how gigantic the city is. All around him people are in a hurry, sometimes bumping into him because he doesn't belong here, is simply standing there and not moving with the crowd. He almost starts to hyperventilate and it's not long before he freezes time. Only now he can breathe easily and is able to form a coherent thought. He needs the quietness around him; maybe he's gotten too used to it already.
And shortly after, he wonders why he went to Tokyo of all places.
*
All these TV dramas his mother is always watching make it seem so much easier. The people there always up and leave to Tokyo with nothing but a few clothes and a little money in their pocket. They don't have any trouble finding an affordable apartment and a job at a nearby conbini store.
But Nino soon learns that nothing is that easy. The apartments on offer are much too expensive, he barely has enough money to pay the rent for a month. He's not even heard of all the extra costs and has never taken into account that he is too young and needs a compliance sheet from his parents to rent an apartment. Why did people have to make things so difficult if all he wanted to do was get away? Weren't there enough young people like him who just wanted to leave their old lives behind? Why did no one understand?
None of the conbini stores he has tried are in need of help. Not a single job offer has presented itself.
After four hours he's lost, standing at the gigantic, bustling Shibuya crossing. He's standing there asking himself whether he should just give up and take the next train back home.
“No,” he says to no one in particular, maybe only to himself. On one of the big screens a music video is playing with a group of young men singing about never giving up. Nino isn't sure if he should feel encouraged or mocked.
But what is waiting for him at home? His mother, certainly, sick with worry. The police, maybe, after all he did rob a bank. Just a few notes, he reassures himself quickly, but it doesn't really help.
Sho is waiting at home. Sho, who is afraid of him and doesn't want to see him. Surely he has heard of the robbery and connected the dots to know that it was Nino's doing. If he had already been furious about the headphones Nino nicked once, then what will he think of him now? He probably despises him. Most certainly.
All these musings make Nino realize that he doesn't want to go back, cannot go back. At present, his life can only move forward. A little less resolutely than he would've wished, he sets off to find a cheap hotel for the night, hoping that tomorrow his prospects will look a little brighter.
*
Twenty-three unanswered calls from his mother await him when he wakes up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, in a strange city. Nino can't say he's feeling too peachy. His guilty conscience is weighing him down more than ever. Normally he'd have to be at school now. Not being there feels strange. His conscience is acting up again, questioning the sanity of his actions. But he ignores it, tries very hard to do so, starting a shower and wanting nothing more than to think of something else.
His head is full of images of Sho.
He misses the time they spent together. He misses the nights at the park so much it hurts.
Nino doesn't take long for his shower. He can't, or rather has to fight this longing threatening to tear him apart. He grabs the clothes thrown carelessly into a corner of the hotel room, glancing at his mobile. There are twenty-four calls by now. Without thinking he picks up the phone to call his mother. The call is answered after not even one ring.
“Kazun-” but his mom can't continue, because he speaks up immediately.
“I'm alright, I just need some time for myself. Please understand. I will come back home,” Nino says with his voice sounding oddly foreign to himself. He then ends the call without listening to his mother's answer.
He feels even worse now, of course.
*
He returns to the crossroads, to all the people there. First he only looks at the big screen where the music video played yesterday, waiting for it to be shown again. But it seems that it's been replaced by a video of the latest girl group playing on an infinite loop. He's already sick of it. Sighing, he turns away and checks how much money he's got. If he economizes on food and stays at the same hotel he might manage a week before facing a shortage of money. He has no idea if that is enough time to find anybody.
He has to try at least, there's no other option. So he freezes time. Each and every person in the street stops. All at once, Shibuya is absolutely quiet.
He doesn't know where the fear is coming from all of a sudden. Maybe it's because he has never before stopped time surrounded by such a crowd. Suddenly the fear seizes him again; it's the same as when he was eleven and thought his life would stand still forever.
He quickly lets the time flow again just to remind himself that by now he's able to control it. He takes a deep breath and stops once more.
“What if it didn't go on?” he asks into the silence. This time there's not so much panic as curiosity. “What would it be like? If I were the only person on earth not frozen. The only one living?”
It'd be lonely, his subconscious answers.
But there are more time shifters. He is not the only one. He would just have to-
And then an idea hits him.
The crossroads is teeming with people, full of potential time shifters. He doesn't know how his chances are, but it's not as if he is in danger of running out of time while trying.
So he begins. He wanders from one to the other, touching them, waiting a few seconds, then turning to the next. A few make him wish they'll move at his touch (like the cute blonde girl with her shiny lips and showy cleavage, or the cool guy who reminds him a little of Sho with his lopsided cap). With others he hopes desperately they'll stay still, thinking twice about even touching them at all.
There are some moments where he's about to give up, because he has almost reached the other side of the crossroads without anyone moving. But he carries on, resolving to at least touch every person standing at the crossroads now.
When he's reached the other side he feels exhausted and disappointed.
*
Nevertheless, he continues the next day. First he waits for the crossroads to fill up with people, then he stops time and makes his way through the mass of stock-still bodies. Why he always chooses this particular crossroads in Shibuya he doesn't know. But he does it only here.
When he's not out looking for other time shifters he goes job hunting at conbini stores and restaurants. One time he almost succeeded, but then the owner wanted to know his age and seventeen was too young.
Nino is starting to question his expectations. And why he isn't at school. Then he thinks about Sho, who's there right now, his look when he accidentally fast-forwarded time to the next morning. And suddenly he remembers so clearly why he's doing all of this.
In a conbini he's greeted by the song he listened to at the crossroads when he first came here. It makes him smile, if only for a moment. But it feels good and he realizes that he hasn't smiled since he's arrived in Tokyo. The man behind the counter smiles back and Nino leaves the store with a considerably lighter step.
Then he goes back to the crossroads.
Even though this morning he has looked a few times already, something inside him urges him to try again. He wants to stop time once more and touch every person here.
Nino has crossed the street half-way when it happens.
“Huh?” the man whose shoulder he has just almost let go of utters. Nino holds his breath. The man turns around.
“Hi,” Nino says timidly, excited. He can't believe this is really happening, not after the thousands of people it didn't work on. He has no idea what's about to transpire nor what he's supposed to say, because amongst all the plans whirling around in his head he's never actually imagined this scenario. What do you tell somebody who was simply about to cross a street and now finds himself in a situation where all of the surrounding people are completely immobile.
But it becomes clear soon that Nino does not have to explain anything.
“Are you nuts? Start the time flow again immediately!” the stranger orders, horrified. Nino can't help but stare at him puzzled for a few seconds before letting time flow again. The man, however, stays where he is, as does Nino, while the crowd starts to move around them again.
“What?” Nino asks, disturbed, but the man quickly shakes his head.
“Not here. Come with me.”
So Nino goes with him, follows the man through the masses, across the crossroads, then along the street to the Lotteria where he's had lunch the last days. His mind is racing.
This guy is an experienced time shifter.
He must be, because otherwise he'd be much more surprised.
But why did he immediately order Nino to let time flow again? What does he know? And what's his plan now?
All along, his subconscious is asking what his plan with the man is, but Nino doesn't want to answer. Not yet.
“What do you want?” the man suddenly asks him, but Nino has no idea what he's referring to. Then he notices that the other is pointing at the menu so he hastily picks something, even though he doesn't feel the least bit hungry right now.
While they're waiting for their order Nino has the opportunity to study the man opposite him for the first time. A few minutes ago he was just another stranger among the others at the crossroads. One of those Nino was neither particularly eager nor opposed to have them awakening at his touch. Nino reckons he's in his early twenties, certainly a bit older than himself. He has a round, friendly face with tired eyes and quite a long nose. His hair might have been blonde once, but now it's a faded brown showing black roots. But this doesn't render him unattractive. He simply looks absolutely average.
They get their burgers and sit down in the farthest corner of the fast food restaurant. Nino's heart is beating just a hint too fast with excitement as the man looks at him expectantly.
“So...?” he prompts.
“So...,” Nino repeats. It was easier with Sho, because he had been clueless, fascinated and overwhelmed. This man across from Nino is nothing of the kind. He knows exactly what this is about and wants to hear something else from him.
When Nino continues to stay silent the man sighs, “So, what was that at the crossroads? Why did you stop time? And why did you touch me?”
“I was looking for you,” Nino answers without missing a beat.
“For me?”
“Not you in particular, but someone of our kind. Someone who can play with the flow of time, too.” Now that Nino has started to talk about it, his nervousness abates. He returns to his old self, the one he was before meeting Sho. Self-assured, fascinated by his own power, and curious about what else he can achieve with it.
“Play?” the other repeats incredulously and apparently not amused. Nino is nonplussed.
“You know what I mean, right? You're one, too. A time shifter,” he explains. The man says nothing for a moment and Nino watches impatiently while picking at the wrapper of his straw.
“I'm Ohno. Ohno Satoshi,” the man suddenly says. Nino smiles questioningly.
“My name. If you have been looking for me you should know that, shouldn't you?” Ohno smiles back and picks up his burger.
“Right.” Nino is about to mirror his action, when he remembers that he isn't even hungry. And aren't there still quite a few questions to be answered after all?
“How did you know I'm one of them?” Ohno asks then, sounding the slightest bit curious. Nino grins.
“I didn't. I simply stopped time and touched everybody.”
“Wow. Clever.”
Now Ohno is grinning and it's somehow contagious so Nino finds himself smiling back automatically. Ohno takes a bite of his burger. The atmosphere between the two may be a little awkward but all the more interesting.
So he has found someone, here in Tokyo. The thought is encouraging and Nino is still smiling while watching Ohno devour his burger. In contrast to Nino he must've been really starving.
“Do you know of any more here in Tokyo? More of us?” Nino asks when Ohno makes no sign that he's about to indulge him with any information.
“That's irrelevant. I don't wanna be involved in this anymore. And you should stay away from it, too,” Ohno answers.
That takes Nino by surprise. He stares at Ohno with big eyes before blurting out: “But why? Why should I do that? I mean, this power is so huge. And if we-if more of our kind got together-don't you know that we could become so much stronger?”
“It's you who could become stronger. We others gain nothing from it,” Ohno corrects, disconcerting Nino a little.
“Why-,” he starts, but Ohno leans in, looking Nino straight in the eye. The tired look is gone entirely.
“What's your name?” he simply asks.
“Nino,” comes the puzzled reply.
“Okay, Nino. Sounds as if you researched your power on the internet. Correct?” Ohno keeps on interrogating, one eyebrow raised slightly.
Nino swallows, nods. He has no idea where Ohno is going with this but at least he seems to be prepared to reveal some information. Even if it's not exactly what Nino might want to hear.
“Well, you better forget it quickly. I've read this stuff too, and most of it is utter crap,” Ohno explains. Nino rolls his eyes.
“I know that. Please don't think I'm that stupid.”
Ohno raises both eyebrows, now looking more amused than interrogative.
“Well, you did feel up half of Shibuya's citizens.”
“That was-,” Nino wants to explain, but Ohno's laughter interrupts him. “Hey, stop that. This is very important to me.”
Ohno sobers up a little but there's still a glint of amusement in his eyes.
“Sorry,” he says. But his smile kind of renders it less believable. “It's important to me, too, otherwise I wouldn't have brought you here, you know. It's just your naivety is quite... amusing. How old are you?”
Nino suddenly doesn't like where this conversation is headed. Who does this guy think he is? He can't be more than a few years older than Nino.
“Seventeen,” he replies curtly, annoyed, crossing his arms in front of him.
“And what about your dad?” Ohno asks out of the blue.
Silence.
Nino just stares at him.
And Ohno seems to understand that he has just asked the wrong kind of question.
“Okay, whatever. Let's leave it at that. There's nothing to gain. It was nice to meet you, Ohno, real nice. Have fun and such. I don't think Tokyo is for me, after all.” Nino all but stumbles over his words, but he's too furious to care. He grabs his burger which he still hasn't touched, gets up and is already halfway through the door when he feels a hand on his arm. Ohno is holding him back.
“Hey, sorry. Really. I didn't want-I shouldn't have asked.” This time Nino can see in his eyes that he means it.
“You shouldn’t. But that doesn't matter now. You don't take me seriously anyway, so this whole talk is pointless,” Nino murmurs in response, but his resolve is melting under Ohno's open, repenting gaze.
“I do take you seriously.” Suddenly Ohno's voice sounds way more sure. Nino can't help but turn around to face him, creasing his brow questioningly.
“You do? Then what's that all about? Asking how old I am? Your amused look every time I talk about this issue? Your arrogance is really annoying,” Nino blurts out. He waits for Ohno to get mad or simply grow tired of him and go away.
He kind of hopes for it.
The question about his father has rattled him, which he wasn't prepared for at all. He's not used to someone whom he has only known for some minutes asking about his family background.
Which brings him to-
“How do you know about my father anyway?”
Now it's Ohno's turn to look at him confused.
“I don't know anything about your father. At least nothing-let's go back to our table and I promise I'll tell you more. And I'll try to behave less arrogantly.”
*
Nino is munching on his burger while fixing Ohno with his eyes. As promised he does no longer carry such an aloof know-it-all look.
“So why did you ask about my father anyway?” Nino finally asks what he was dying to know since Ohno's question.
“Because of your power. This time shifter thing, the time-stopping. If you can do it then your father can too, at least in some way.”
Nino isn't even sure if he's supposed to be surprised. His father left him when he was still very young. He only vaguely remembers his time with him, doesn't want to, really.
But what if-
The time-stopping started when he was eight. If his father really was a time shifter himself, shouldn't he have noticed something? After all, Nino wasn't very careful back in those days. So why did he never say anything?
In the end was it-
Did he-
No, that couldn't have been the reason. His mother told him that they were always fighting. That it simply hadn't worked out in the end.
Lost in thoughts, Nino needs a few seconds to realize that Ohno has stopped talking and is looking at him concerned.
“Do you know what kind of time shifter your dad is?” he asks tentatively.
“No, no idea. Until now I didn't even know he was one at all. We... are not in touch anymore.”
“I see.”
Ohno seems sorry, but Nino waves his pity away. He hates that look and he hates being looked at like that. Whatever his father did is ancient history, over and no longer relevant.
His subconscious is plaguing him again, asking what he's doing in Tokyo then of all places.
Nino expertly ignores it.
“You haven't told me what kind of time shifter you are,” Nino says quickly, intent on a change of subject.
“Does it matter? I won't use this ability.” Ohno averts his gaze, which makes Nino all the more curious.
“Does that mean you can control it? After all, you touched me and nothing happened. You must be pretty good.”
Ohno grimaces and Nino has to hold back his laughter, because his nose is all scrunched up by it. “We should create some taboos. We won't talk about either your father or my power. Deal?” He grins stretching out his hand for Nino to shake.
Nino does so without hesitation.
*
“I don't know what to talk about anymore,” Nino complains after a while. They've been sitting in the Lotteria for over an hour, talking about inconsequential stuff even though a thousand questions are still burning on Nino's tongue. But he feels he's learned so much today, that it's quite enough for the moment. At one point his mind simply cannot grasp it all anymore and Nino is sure this will happen very soon. Plus, it just feels good (and Ohno seems to like it too) to talk about the funniest, most absurd topics they can think of.
They've just ended their discussion about the taste of cooked watermelon. Nino finds the very idea disgusting, Ohno would like to try it.
“I guess this means it's enough for today,” Ohno grins, then leans back in his chair. For a second he simply looks at Nino, who, not for the first time, wishes he knew what's going on in his head. Ohno's grin turns into a friendly smile before he continues:
“I'm glad you've found me, Nino.”
His words sound so honest, making Nino feel a little embarrassed. Ohno laughs at him.
*
Nino is staring at the newly saved telephone number next to the name Ohno Satoshi on his mobile phone. He's lying on the bed in his hotel room, asking himself how everything will turn out now. Whether he has reached his goal. Whether he should return home.
After all, he came to Tokyo to find a time shifter.
But somehow he imagined for everything to turn out completely different.
“I would love to know why he doesn't want to use his power anymore. And what exactly he can do,” he murmurs to himself.
Nino continues staring at the digits as if waiting for something to happen. Here and now. Everything beats sitting in this room alone, pondering what to do.
But he does not call Ohno. He doesn't write either. Nino passes the rest of the evening looking at the display and trying to hold onto his fleeting thoughts.
*
» Can you help me? «
Nino keeps tapping the send button but never hard enough to actually send the message. He doesn't know whether Ohno is the right person, whether he can even help him. Nino would have to explain a lot if Ohno agreed to help.
“Oh, damn it. Whatever,” he curses loudly and finally presses the send button. Shortly after he feels queasy and is miffed that there's no chance to recall the message.
Then he waits.
He's been waiting for so long that his phone vibrating makes him jump.
» I won't go around pawing half of Shibuya. «
A very embarrassing noise escapes Nino's lips, something between a grunt and a giggle, and for the first time he's glad he is by himself.
» Idiot. I'm serious. I need your help. I'm searching for a special kind of time shifter. «
This mail was typed and sent rather quickly. Maybe because Nino was annoyed by the wait.
But it takes a while for Ohno to answer again.
» What kind? «
Nino takes a deep breath.
» A jumper. Backwards. «
In his mind, Nino is already formulating his answer, for he is sure that Ohno will ask about his reasons. But it comes different than expected.
» Kid, these are even rarer than stoppers. Wouldn't it be enough to have someone who's able to rewind? Of those I got four in my family. «
He doesn't know how to answer that. Disgruntled, he throws his mobile to the side and stares at the ceiling. There's a dark stain in the corner which he frankly feels no desire to look at any longer. Fortunately, it doesn't take long for his phone to vibrate again.
» You won't tell me what you'll be needing a jumper for, right? «
He is right. But Nino knows that he doesn't have to tell Ohno that. The message was not so much a question.
» In the forums they said that those who can rewind time are limited to go only twenty-four hours back. That's not enough. I need to go further back, « he writes and realizes why it has taken him so long to ask Ohno. Why he didn't ask for it yesterday when they met up. It's easier to write about than say it out loud.
» That's right. Only twenty-four hours, then they need another day to be able to rewind or fast forward again. «
Nino sighs loudly when Ohno confirms his findings. He feels alone, miserable and hopeless as it is, but this makes it even worse. If jumpers are really as rare as Ohno tells him, then how in the world is he supposed to ever find one? Not on the internet, he's sworn an oath to himself never to be that stupid. He won't write to anyone from the forums, never mind how trustworthy they might sound.
Then he thinks about his money, thinks of how little he's got left and that he will have to go back home soon, and he wants to smash something to pieces.
Instead, he picks up his phone again. Seeing how fiercely he's pressing the keys while writing it's a miracle they don't break.
» But I need one. I need a jumper, I have to get my life back together. I have to make things right again. I need to get back to Sho... «
Nino does not send the message. He turns off his phone and burrows into his heavy blanket. Outside the sun is already high in the sky, but he closes his eyes anyway and tries to sleep.
*
Later, in the evening, as he wakes up again he needs a moment to know where he is. The stain on the ceiling is still there and draws Nino's gaze every time he looks up.
Thoughts of his father want to come up; at first he struggles against them but after a while he gives in. He knows it's inevitable and that he can't hold them off forever.
He wonders what kind of shifter his father could be. Can he spool time as, according to Ohno, so many can do? Or is he of a rarer kind? A time stopper like himself? Or maybe even a jumper? He should probably seek out his father. He might perform a time jump for him.
Nino smiles sadly. As if his father would willingly jump back through time for him. If some of the comments in the time shifter forum are to be believed, it would mean that the jumper loses all his memories of the time he's bridged. He would have to relive the whole period of time he's jumped anew, with no way of knowing what might have happened already, what he had experienced once before and what kind of decisions he'd already made.
Nobody would willingly do that.
Nobody.
Nino understands that it's about time to give up.
*
When he turns his mobile phone back on, he finds five new unanswered calls from his mother. He is just about to delete them; but hesitates.
There's another call from someone else.
It’s from Ohno.
He quickly checks his inbox and also finds unread messages:
» But I can still help you if you want. Maybe we'll find someone. Tokyo is a big city after all. «
» Hey are you disappointed now? «
» Nino? «
» Tell me where you are and I'll swing by so we can talk about this, okay? «
Nino isn't sure what to make of it. He reads and rereads the four messages a couple of times and somehow they brighten his mood. It's nice to know that there's someone out there who wants to help him. Someone who might understand him.
As he doesn't know how to answer Ohno, he simply sends the address of the hotel and his room number and waits.
Surprisingly, it doesn't take very long until he hears a knock on the door. Nino briefly runs a hand through his hair in an effort to make himself look at least halfway presentable (even though that's next to impossible seeing as he spent the better part of the day under his stuffy blanket), then lets Ohno in. The other only blinks, looking him up and down.
“You look like crap,” Ohno says grinning crookedly, which doesn't really fit the worried look in his eyes. Nino pouts and sits down on the floor with him. There's not much space left in the tiny hotel room, but he hasn't exactly planned to ever have guests in here.
“Why are you staying at a hotel?” Ohno asks curiously.
“I'm not from Tokyo,” Nino answers curtly. He's not yet prepared to reveal his entire story.
“Don't you have to go to school?”
“A lot has happened.”
Ohno simply nods, seeming to understand. Nino doesn't believe that's really the case. But it doesn't matter at the moment.
“So... a jumper,” Ohno starts on the relevant topic. Nino internally thanks him for not prying any further.
“How far back do you wanna jump?”
“Three weeks. At least.”
Ohno lets out a long sigh. “You know how much you ask of a jumper with this? Three weeks... don't take it personally, but no one will do that for you. Three weeks is quite a long time where a lot can happen. A lot that the jumper would forget.”
Nino thinks about all the things that have happened during these past three weeks; the nights spent together at the park, the cigarette on the roof, the stolen headphones, their big fight, Sho losing it. Sho saying he doesn't want to continue. Sho, who's afraid of Nino.
Not for the first time he wishes for nothing more than to be a jumper himself. How he would love to forget it all and start anew.
“You know, Nino, it would be better if you found another solution for your problem. This whole time shifter thing- better let it be. Most of the time it only makes matters worse.” With his bitter face Ohno seems to speak from experience. Nino is about to inquire further, but decides against it. Instead, he contemplates Ohno's words.
If he weren't able to stop time, if he hadn't this strange power, all of this would have never happened. He wouldn't have committed all these stupidities and Sho wouldn't be afraid of him. But what would have happened in this case? Most likely everything would've run its usual course over the years and he would've never talked to Sho, would've never truly gotten to know him. Most likely he would've messed up in some other way. Maybe he would've smoked on the school's roof anyway and gotten caught. Most likely his grades would've turned out worse.
From whatever angle he looks at it, Nino can't see anything bad in his ability.
But Ohno seems to see it, Ohno thinks entirely differently about it. Ohno, who knows so much more about this power, who probably grew up with it in a family full of time shifters.
Surely Ohno had never been alone, never crawled under his blanket - the only thing providing safety for him - and never had to wait until time started to flow again. Surely Ohno had never been alone through all this.
“There's no other solution,” Nino says aloud what his mind is playing out for him so splendidly. “I have to jump.”
“Nino-,” Ohno starts, but Nino interrupts him at once.
“There's no other way, I gotta go back. I have to go back these three weeks and for that I need a jumper. I have to find one quickly, 'cause I can't stay here much longer. And I can't wait any longer or else everything gets even worse.” His words sound more desperate than planned, but it's just exactly what he feels. He knows that Ohno cannot comprehend that, he knows that Ohno views this issue differently. Of course he views it differently, after all Ohno never had to experience all the difficulties Nino had to face because of his power. It was easy for Ohno.
“There's always another way, believe me. We'll find one, I promise,” Ohno says softly, reassuringly, but it sounds so fake all of a sudden.
“You have no idea!” Nino suddenly shouts at him, surprising even himself with the volume of his voice and instantly regrets it. Ohno looks at him surprised for a moment, eyes turning sad.
“Well, how could I if you don't tell me anything.” With these words he gets up, sends Nino a last, disappointed look and leaves the hotel room.
And as much as Nino has come to hate the feeling of being left alone, he's slowly starting to get used to it.
*
It doesn't even take ten minutes for Nino to become agitated. He can't stay in this tiny, stuffy hotel room where it's no use opening a window for air. He has to get outside, has to do something, anything. Headless, he storms out into the street, into the dark night. But Tokyo is never truly dark, there are lights everywhere, blinking and flickering. The streets are loud, the people are loud, and Nino has no idea where he's going. He just keeps on running.
He comes to a halt at a bridge. His fingers clutch the rail tightly as he's watching the busy street below. His breath comes in short gasps and his lungs are burning from running so much.
It can't go on like this, his subconscious is screaming at him.
“I know, damn it! I know,” he shouts back. His words get lost in the noise of the heavy traffic under the bridge. If anyone heard him, they ignore him.
He feels his mobile vibrating in his pocket and nearly drops it in his haste to get it out. His mind is pleading for Ohno, Ohno, Ohno as he takes a look at his inbox. All the greater his disappointment upon realizing that the message is not from him.
It's from his mother.
And Nino knows that it has to be important, because his mother usually never writes - she hasn't done that even during these last few days, after he ran away. She normally just calls since she's no friend of short messages and has never truly bothered with them. Nevertheless he hesitates to read it, even considers deleting it unread.
He finds himself wishing he had heeded his gut feeling when he finally opens and reads it.
» Kazu, the police was here. Where are you? Please call me. «
Shortly after, he gets another one.
» Please come back home. «
His stomach is starting to churn, turning worse by the minute. His breath quickens, he's just short of hyperventilating. He looks around again and again. He feels watched by every person passing him by. Fear grips him tightly, closing around his throat and threatening to cut off his breath entirely.
He doesn't want to suffocate.
The police came to see his mother. Because of the robbery. Of course because of the robbery. Though it wasn't even that much money, a crime is a crime.
He has committed a crime.
He ran away.
He left his mother behind. Just like his father did.
He is exactly like his father.
Nino takes a deep breath, leans over the rail and just wants to scream. He wants to shout it all out, all his fears, everything he regrets, everything he has done wrong.
But the scream dies on his tongue, snuffed out in his throat already. What comes out is a hoarse sob and then tears. He sinks to his knees, still clutching the cold metal of the rail, and cries.
He cries until he can’t cry anymore. After that he just sits there staring through the tiny holes of the rail down onto the street, watching the car lights race by below him and disappear into the distance. It's late and it's cold and he didn't put on a jacket.
But Nino has bigger concerns right now.
Earlier, when Ohno told him to find another solution for his problems, he had started planning for a moment - just a little, imagining going back home and apologizing to his mom. He would've told her about Sho and that he had been lovesick and had needed to get away for a few days. Nino knows he can be pretty convincing and he's sure his mother would’ve believed him.
Then he wanted to go see Sho, finally ring that damned doorbell to step up and talk to him. Just talk. About everything that happened between them, about his feelings and Sho's fears. To find a solution together and a way to be together regardless.
But that's no longer possible. It's been over since he read that message just now.
He can't go back home.
“I'm such an idiot,” he whispers to himself, “such a stupid, stupid idiot.” But this realization doesn't buy him anything anymore. It comes too late, just as his regret. You learn from your mistakes, his mother used to tell him. But she failed to warn him that sometimes it might be too late.
“Hey, little idiot,” he suddenly hears a soft voice next to him, so close it makes him jump. Turning around, he's looking at Ohno's friendly face.
Nino stops the time before the other has any chance to do anything. Since he's not touching Ohno he freezes, squatting in front of him with his round face and tired eyes. Eyes that are still looking at him with concern.
Nino needs this instant in which he can look at Ohno without anything happening. This moment to simply sit there and calm himself down while Ohno stays how he is, motionless.
“What are you doing here? Why are you here now? How come you're here now as if you knew I needed you? That I needed someone to tell me how to go on? How do you do it?” he asks excited, incredulous. Ohno keeps his friendly face.
Nino lets time flow again. Ohno's gaze changes instantly, he knits his brows and touches Nino's cheek with the back of his hand.
“You're awfully cold.”
Ohno won't just feel the coldness on his skin. Nino's cheeks are still wet from crying. But Ohno doesn't mention it.
“What are you doing here?” Nino asks again, ignoring Ohno's comment. This time he leaves all the other questions out.
Ohno's expression changes to an embarrassed smile. “I was worried. I wanted to come back and apologize but you weren't in your room anymore. And now I've found you here.”
“Hm,” Nino grunts, his gaze never leaving Ohno's face. Something about him is reassuring and Nino feels his presence does him good, helps him think clearly again.
“I've been thinking.” Ohno slowly takes his hand away from Nino's cheek, but puts it on his arm. Does he know that Nino stopped time and wants to make sure to keep skin contact so Nino can't escape?
Or maybe he just wants to comfort you, a by now well-known voice in his head suggests.
“I would like to take you with me. To my family,” Ohno reveals. Nino can hardly believe his ears.
“Why?” he blurts out, even though he has a host of other questions in mind.
“Because I don’t want you to be alone with your power anymore."
Next part
Pairing: Sho/Nino, Ohno/Nino friendship and a tiny bit more
Rating: PG-13
Genre: supernatural, romance
Words: 23,600 ahaha yeah.
Summary: Things never go as planned and Nino learned that when he first stopped time at age seven. He is still learning today, now that he’s seventeen and has to face a whole new set of problems.
Warnings: bits of bad language and unrequited love
Notes: So this is it, the continuation of my time shifter story The world is yours. Written for the shoneenclub contest, original post here and also up on AO3 here. Looked over by the ever so awesome eufry. Oh, and this is not the end, there's still a bunch of other things to come in this universe. Stupid universe which got out of control.
Nino knows exactly how life goes. He knows the rules and knows that he has to keep to them. His education may not have been the best (though he knows his mother tried her best), but he believes that by now he's smart enough to tell right from wrong.
*
Nino was seven when he first stopped time. It happened when his mother had been in the middle of berating him for throwing his Gameboy to the ground in a fit of rage after losing a game. All of a sudden everything turned quiet, eerily still. His mother's eyes were strangely wide, her mouth forming a soundless “O”. Nino laughed, but the sound got lost and only brought back uneasiness.
Nino stared at his mother. He poked her. Ran a circle around her.
“Mum?” he squeaked, agitated. After that he didn't dare say anything further.
His hands were shaking when he picked up his Gameboy and ran up the stairs to his room. The fish in their tank weren't moving. The hands on his clock stood still.
Seven-year-old Nino had no idea what was happening. He jumped onto his bed, covering himself with his blanket and hoping it would stop. Hoping that it would go on.
*
Nino knows right from wrong.
*
At first he was just angry that the TV picture had to freeze up in the middle of one of Doctor Slump's exciting experiments. Of course it had to be then of all times.
But eleven-year-old Nino was used to it by now. So he pulled up his knees to wrap his arms around them and waited. He knew it would be over soon.
Only this time it wasn't.
After a while Nino grew restless and did something he had sworn he wouldn't do again while time was standing still: he moved and got up. His mother hadn't believed him the first time it had happened - of course she wouldn't, he had been seven and unable to explain - but she had been visibly puzzled as to why he hadn't been standing in front of her anymore. Puzzlement had soon turned into anger and he hadn't been reunited with his Gameboy until after one very, very long week. It didn't stop after that.
For that reason he had decided to simply wait it out in one spot and not move around much. That way he avoided drawing attention.
But usually it wouldn't last so long. Of course he couldn't always judge for how long time was standing still, because no clock ever worked; but he had always relied on his gut feeling. It had always felt quite short. Ten, sometimes twenty minutes, max. One time he had even tried counting the seconds but had lost count after four minutes and given up.
But those few minutes were definitely over now. It was starting to feel like hours. And still, nothing was moving, no sound came from anywhere.
So Nino got up and went up to his room. He still had the fish tank. The fish were floating in the water, immobile as if frozen. As if they weren't even real.
His gaze fixed on the fish, he plopped down on his bed and pulled the blanket protectively around himself - something he hadn't done in a long time. He waited.
At some point tears were welling up in his eyes. He couldn't fight them because they were not just tears, they were the beginning of desperation gripping his body. Desperation which grew more intense and, with each passing second, threatened to choke him. When he finally let the tears spill it was more like a salvation, a way to release some of the pressure.
So Nino cried and cried and cried, hoping desperately that time would start again soon. He started to sweat under the covers because it was way too hot, but he burrowed even deeper into them. He wouldn't let go of this security blanket from his childhood. Not now that he so urgently needed it.
“Move. Please, please, move,” he whispered to one of his frozen fish every time he was about to hyperventilate, when he was breathing way too fast, and when the question arose whether time would ever start flowing again.
Or if it might stand still forever.
After what felt like two days, his fish were swimming merrily around the tank again. Nino could hardly believe it. At first he just stared at the tank, watching the fish dash to and fro in the water. Then he stood up on shaky legs, his eyes red from crying. He had no idea how he was supposed explain to his mother why he looked so drained, why he wanted nothing more than to squeeze her tight and never let go. Why he wanted to cry so much but couldn't find any tears anymore. Why he couldn't stop shaking.
His hand was already poised over his doorknob when he realized he could never explain it to her.
And that it was high time to act.
In this moment, eleven-year-old Nino had the idea, for the first time, to start and try controlling time.
*
However, knowing what is right does not prevent one from doing wrong. Day after day, Nino gets confronted with this fact.
He would love to go and see Sho.
Sometimes he even gets as far as standing in front of his door, finger hovering above the door bell next to the beautifully engraved metal plaque reading Sakurai. But then he stops, sometimes just himself, sometimes the flow of time and freezing everything around him. He stops and disappears again.
He would love to go see Sho, talk to him, maybe even kiss him. But he can't. He knows he has disappointed Sho and will continue disappointing him. He knows that Sho doesn't feel safe in his presence and doesn't want to touch him in fear of his life rushing by too fast. And Nino can understand that. He knows the fears connected with the power he possesses. Which Sho also has.
He knows it's wrong not to go to Sho and that it's wrong not to apologize.
But-
Knowing what's wrong doesn't compel him to do the right thing.
So he does something in between.
*
He packs up his stuff - the small amount of money he stole from the bank (his guilty conscience is a constant companion flaring up - in particular whenever he is handling the bank notes), some clothes - writes the letter to his mother which he has wanted to write ever since he was eleven, and leaves. Just leaves everything behind.
Nino can count on one hand the times he's been to Tokyo. His mother has always hated the loud buzz of the city and when his father left with the intention of finding a new apartment in Tokyo, visits were completely over. Ever since, his mother has even forbidden him to take the three-hour-trip to Tokyo by train.
Now he's just hoping his mother will understand.
The trip doesn't seem long; too many thoughts occupy his mind. He's planning his first steps. Top priority on his list is finding cheap accommodation, start searching for a job, then invest himself in his true search. Finding another time shifter should be a lot easier in Tokyo than in his hometown. There are so many people in Tokyo after all. And if his freezing time a little already caught Sho's attention, it should go even faster in Tokyo.
Somewhere in the back of his mind the idea crops up that he's lying to himself. That Sho was special and that here in Tokyo he will look in vain for something he does not really want to find. But Nino swallows, shakes his head and pushes the thought back to where it came from - the farthest corner of his mind.
Nino gets off the train at Shinagawa station and immediately feels completely overwhelmed. He has forgotten just how gigantic the city is. All around him people are in a hurry, sometimes bumping into him because he doesn't belong here, is simply standing there and not moving with the crowd. He almost starts to hyperventilate and it's not long before he freezes time. Only now he can breathe easily and is able to form a coherent thought. He needs the quietness around him; maybe he's gotten too used to it already.
And shortly after, he wonders why he went to Tokyo of all places.
*
All these TV dramas his mother is always watching make it seem so much easier. The people there always up and leave to Tokyo with nothing but a few clothes and a little money in their pocket. They don't have any trouble finding an affordable apartment and a job at a nearby conbini store.
But Nino soon learns that nothing is that easy. The apartments on offer are much too expensive, he barely has enough money to pay the rent for a month. He's not even heard of all the extra costs and has never taken into account that he is too young and needs a compliance sheet from his parents to rent an apartment. Why did people have to make things so difficult if all he wanted to do was get away? Weren't there enough young people like him who just wanted to leave their old lives behind? Why did no one understand?
None of the conbini stores he has tried are in need of help. Not a single job offer has presented itself.
After four hours he's lost, standing at the gigantic, bustling Shibuya crossing. He's standing there asking himself whether he should just give up and take the next train back home.
“No,” he says to no one in particular, maybe only to himself. On one of the big screens a music video is playing with a group of young men singing about never giving up. Nino isn't sure if he should feel encouraged or mocked.
But what is waiting for him at home? His mother, certainly, sick with worry. The police, maybe, after all he did rob a bank. Just a few notes, he reassures himself quickly, but it doesn't really help.
Sho is waiting at home. Sho, who is afraid of him and doesn't want to see him. Surely he has heard of the robbery and connected the dots to know that it was Nino's doing. If he had already been furious about the headphones Nino nicked once, then what will he think of him now? He probably despises him. Most certainly.
All these musings make Nino realize that he doesn't want to go back, cannot go back. At present, his life can only move forward. A little less resolutely than he would've wished, he sets off to find a cheap hotel for the night, hoping that tomorrow his prospects will look a little brighter.
*
Twenty-three unanswered calls from his mother await him when he wakes up the next morning in an unfamiliar bed, in a strange city. Nino can't say he's feeling too peachy. His guilty conscience is weighing him down more than ever. Normally he'd have to be at school now. Not being there feels strange. His conscience is acting up again, questioning the sanity of his actions. But he ignores it, tries very hard to do so, starting a shower and wanting nothing more than to think of something else.
His head is full of images of Sho.
He misses the time they spent together. He misses the nights at the park so much it hurts.
Nino doesn't take long for his shower. He can't, or rather has to fight this longing threatening to tear him apart. He grabs the clothes thrown carelessly into a corner of the hotel room, glancing at his mobile. There are twenty-four calls by now. Without thinking he picks up the phone to call his mother. The call is answered after not even one ring.
“Kazun-” but his mom can't continue, because he speaks up immediately.
“I'm alright, I just need some time for myself. Please understand. I will come back home,” Nino says with his voice sounding oddly foreign to himself. He then ends the call without listening to his mother's answer.
He feels even worse now, of course.
*
He returns to the crossroads, to all the people there. First he only looks at the big screen where the music video played yesterday, waiting for it to be shown again. But it seems that it's been replaced by a video of the latest girl group playing on an infinite loop. He's already sick of it. Sighing, he turns away and checks how much money he's got. If he economizes on food and stays at the same hotel he might manage a week before facing a shortage of money. He has no idea if that is enough time to find anybody.
He has to try at least, there's no other option. So he freezes time. Each and every person in the street stops. All at once, Shibuya is absolutely quiet.
He doesn't know where the fear is coming from all of a sudden. Maybe it's because he has never before stopped time surrounded by such a crowd. Suddenly the fear seizes him again; it's the same as when he was eleven and thought his life would stand still forever.
He quickly lets the time flow again just to remind himself that by now he's able to control it. He takes a deep breath and stops once more.
“What if it didn't go on?” he asks into the silence. This time there's not so much panic as curiosity. “What would it be like? If I were the only person on earth not frozen. The only one living?”
It'd be lonely, his subconscious answers.
But there are more time shifters. He is not the only one. He would just have to-
And then an idea hits him.
The crossroads is teeming with people, full of potential time shifters. He doesn't know how his chances are, but it's not as if he is in danger of running out of time while trying.
So he begins. He wanders from one to the other, touching them, waiting a few seconds, then turning to the next. A few make him wish they'll move at his touch (like the cute blonde girl with her shiny lips and showy cleavage, or the cool guy who reminds him a little of Sho with his lopsided cap). With others he hopes desperately they'll stay still, thinking twice about even touching them at all.
There are some moments where he's about to give up, because he has almost reached the other side of the crossroads without anyone moving. But he carries on, resolving to at least touch every person standing at the crossroads now.
When he's reached the other side he feels exhausted and disappointed.
*
Nevertheless, he continues the next day. First he waits for the crossroads to fill up with people, then he stops time and makes his way through the mass of stock-still bodies. Why he always chooses this particular crossroads in Shibuya he doesn't know. But he does it only here.
When he's not out looking for other time shifters he goes job hunting at conbini stores and restaurants. One time he almost succeeded, but then the owner wanted to know his age and seventeen was too young.
Nino is starting to question his expectations. And why he isn't at school. Then he thinks about Sho, who's there right now, his look when he accidentally fast-forwarded time to the next morning. And suddenly he remembers so clearly why he's doing all of this.
In a conbini he's greeted by the song he listened to at the crossroads when he first came here. It makes him smile, if only for a moment. But it feels good and he realizes that he hasn't smiled since he's arrived in Tokyo. The man behind the counter smiles back and Nino leaves the store with a considerably lighter step.
Then he goes back to the crossroads.
Even though this morning he has looked a few times already, something inside him urges him to try again. He wants to stop time once more and touch every person here.
Nino has crossed the street half-way when it happens.
“Huh?” the man whose shoulder he has just almost let go of utters. Nino holds his breath. The man turns around.
“Hi,” Nino says timidly, excited. He can't believe this is really happening, not after the thousands of people it didn't work on. He has no idea what's about to transpire nor what he's supposed to say, because amongst all the plans whirling around in his head he's never actually imagined this scenario. What do you tell somebody who was simply about to cross a street and now finds himself in a situation where all of the surrounding people are completely immobile.
But it becomes clear soon that Nino does not have to explain anything.
“Are you nuts? Start the time flow again immediately!” the stranger orders, horrified. Nino can't help but stare at him puzzled for a few seconds before letting time flow again. The man, however, stays where he is, as does Nino, while the crowd starts to move around them again.
“What?” Nino asks, disturbed, but the man quickly shakes his head.
“Not here. Come with me.”
So Nino goes with him, follows the man through the masses, across the crossroads, then along the street to the Lotteria where he's had lunch the last days. His mind is racing.
This guy is an experienced time shifter.
He must be, because otherwise he'd be much more surprised.
But why did he immediately order Nino to let time flow again? What does he know? And what's his plan now?
All along, his subconscious is asking what his plan with the man is, but Nino doesn't want to answer. Not yet.
“What do you want?” the man suddenly asks him, but Nino has no idea what he's referring to. Then he notices that the other is pointing at the menu so he hastily picks something, even though he doesn't feel the least bit hungry right now.
While they're waiting for their order Nino has the opportunity to study the man opposite him for the first time. A few minutes ago he was just another stranger among the others at the crossroads. One of those Nino was neither particularly eager nor opposed to have them awakening at his touch. Nino reckons he's in his early twenties, certainly a bit older than himself. He has a round, friendly face with tired eyes and quite a long nose. His hair might have been blonde once, but now it's a faded brown showing black roots. But this doesn't render him unattractive. He simply looks absolutely average.
They get their burgers and sit down in the farthest corner of the fast food restaurant. Nino's heart is beating just a hint too fast with excitement as the man looks at him expectantly.
“So...?” he prompts.
“So...,” Nino repeats. It was easier with Sho, because he had been clueless, fascinated and overwhelmed. This man across from Nino is nothing of the kind. He knows exactly what this is about and wants to hear something else from him.
When Nino continues to stay silent the man sighs, “So, what was that at the crossroads? Why did you stop time? And why did you touch me?”
“I was looking for you,” Nino answers without missing a beat.
“For me?”
“Not you in particular, but someone of our kind. Someone who can play with the flow of time, too.” Now that Nino has started to talk about it, his nervousness abates. He returns to his old self, the one he was before meeting Sho. Self-assured, fascinated by his own power, and curious about what else he can achieve with it.
“Play?” the other repeats incredulously and apparently not amused. Nino is nonplussed.
“You know what I mean, right? You're one, too. A time shifter,” he explains. The man says nothing for a moment and Nino watches impatiently while picking at the wrapper of his straw.
“I'm Ohno. Ohno Satoshi,” the man suddenly says. Nino smiles questioningly.
“My name. If you have been looking for me you should know that, shouldn't you?” Ohno smiles back and picks up his burger.
“Right.” Nino is about to mirror his action, when he remembers that he isn't even hungry. And aren't there still quite a few questions to be answered after all?
“How did you know I'm one of them?” Ohno asks then, sounding the slightest bit curious. Nino grins.
“I didn't. I simply stopped time and touched everybody.”
“Wow. Clever.”
Now Ohno is grinning and it's somehow contagious so Nino finds himself smiling back automatically. Ohno takes a bite of his burger. The atmosphere between the two may be a little awkward but all the more interesting.
So he has found someone, here in Tokyo. The thought is encouraging and Nino is still smiling while watching Ohno devour his burger. In contrast to Nino he must've been really starving.
“Do you know of any more here in Tokyo? More of us?” Nino asks when Ohno makes no sign that he's about to indulge him with any information.
“That's irrelevant. I don't wanna be involved in this anymore. And you should stay away from it, too,” Ohno answers.
That takes Nino by surprise. He stares at Ohno with big eyes before blurting out: “But why? Why should I do that? I mean, this power is so huge. And if we-if more of our kind got together-don't you know that we could become so much stronger?”
“It's you who could become stronger. We others gain nothing from it,” Ohno corrects, disconcerting Nino a little.
“Why-,” he starts, but Ohno leans in, looking Nino straight in the eye. The tired look is gone entirely.
“What's your name?” he simply asks.
“Nino,” comes the puzzled reply.
“Okay, Nino. Sounds as if you researched your power on the internet. Correct?” Ohno keeps on interrogating, one eyebrow raised slightly.
Nino swallows, nods. He has no idea where Ohno is going with this but at least he seems to be prepared to reveal some information. Even if it's not exactly what Nino might want to hear.
“Well, you better forget it quickly. I've read this stuff too, and most of it is utter crap,” Ohno explains. Nino rolls his eyes.
“I know that. Please don't think I'm that stupid.”
Ohno raises both eyebrows, now looking more amused than interrogative.
“Well, you did feel up half of Shibuya's citizens.”
“That was-,” Nino wants to explain, but Ohno's laughter interrupts him. “Hey, stop that. This is very important to me.”
Ohno sobers up a little but there's still a glint of amusement in his eyes.
“Sorry,” he says. But his smile kind of renders it less believable. “It's important to me, too, otherwise I wouldn't have brought you here, you know. It's just your naivety is quite... amusing. How old are you?”
Nino suddenly doesn't like where this conversation is headed. Who does this guy think he is? He can't be more than a few years older than Nino.
“Seventeen,” he replies curtly, annoyed, crossing his arms in front of him.
“And what about your dad?” Ohno asks out of the blue.
Silence.
Nino just stares at him.
And Ohno seems to understand that he has just asked the wrong kind of question.
“Okay, whatever. Let's leave it at that. There's nothing to gain. It was nice to meet you, Ohno, real nice. Have fun and such. I don't think Tokyo is for me, after all.” Nino all but stumbles over his words, but he's too furious to care. He grabs his burger which he still hasn't touched, gets up and is already halfway through the door when he feels a hand on his arm. Ohno is holding him back.
“Hey, sorry. Really. I didn't want-I shouldn't have asked.” This time Nino can see in his eyes that he means it.
“You shouldn’t. But that doesn't matter now. You don't take me seriously anyway, so this whole talk is pointless,” Nino murmurs in response, but his resolve is melting under Ohno's open, repenting gaze.
“I do take you seriously.” Suddenly Ohno's voice sounds way more sure. Nino can't help but turn around to face him, creasing his brow questioningly.
“You do? Then what's that all about? Asking how old I am? Your amused look every time I talk about this issue? Your arrogance is really annoying,” Nino blurts out. He waits for Ohno to get mad or simply grow tired of him and go away.
He kind of hopes for it.
The question about his father has rattled him, which he wasn't prepared for at all. He's not used to someone whom he has only known for some minutes asking about his family background.
Which brings him to-
“How do you know about my father anyway?”
Now it's Ohno's turn to look at him confused.
“I don't know anything about your father. At least nothing-let's go back to our table and I promise I'll tell you more. And I'll try to behave less arrogantly.”
*
Nino is munching on his burger while fixing Ohno with his eyes. As promised he does no longer carry such an aloof know-it-all look.
“So why did you ask about my father anyway?” Nino finally asks what he was dying to know since Ohno's question.
“Because of your power. This time shifter thing, the time-stopping. If you can do it then your father can too, at least in some way.”
Nino isn't even sure if he's supposed to be surprised. His father left him when he was still very young. He only vaguely remembers his time with him, doesn't want to, really.
But what if-
The time-stopping started when he was eight. If his father really was a time shifter himself, shouldn't he have noticed something? After all, Nino wasn't very careful back in those days. So why did he never say anything?
In the end was it-
Did he-
No, that couldn't have been the reason. His mother told him that they were always fighting. That it simply hadn't worked out in the end.
Lost in thoughts, Nino needs a few seconds to realize that Ohno has stopped talking and is looking at him concerned.
“Do you know what kind of time shifter your dad is?” he asks tentatively.
“No, no idea. Until now I didn't even know he was one at all. We... are not in touch anymore.”
“I see.”
Ohno seems sorry, but Nino waves his pity away. He hates that look and he hates being looked at like that. Whatever his father did is ancient history, over and no longer relevant.
His subconscious is plaguing him again, asking what he's doing in Tokyo then of all places.
Nino expertly ignores it.
“You haven't told me what kind of time shifter you are,” Nino says quickly, intent on a change of subject.
“Does it matter? I won't use this ability.” Ohno averts his gaze, which makes Nino all the more curious.
“Does that mean you can control it? After all, you touched me and nothing happened. You must be pretty good.”
Ohno grimaces and Nino has to hold back his laughter, because his nose is all scrunched up by it. “We should create some taboos. We won't talk about either your father or my power. Deal?” He grins stretching out his hand for Nino to shake.
Nino does so without hesitation.
*
“I don't know what to talk about anymore,” Nino complains after a while. They've been sitting in the Lotteria for over an hour, talking about inconsequential stuff even though a thousand questions are still burning on Nino's tongue. But he feels he's learned so much today, that it's quite enough for the moment. At one point his mind simply cannot grasp it all anymore and Nino is sure this will happen very soon. Plus, it just feels good (and Ohno seems to like it too) to talk about the funniest, most absurd topics they can think of.
They've just ended their discussion about the taste of cooked watermelon. Nino finds the very idea disgusting, Ohno would like to try it.
“I guess this means it's enough for today,” Ohno grins, then leans back in his chair. For a second he simply looks at Nino, who, not for the first time, wishes he knew what's going on in his head. Ohno's grin turns into a friendly smile before he continues:
“I'm glad you've found me, Nino.”
His words sound so honest, making Nino feel a little embarrassed. Ohno laughs at him.
*
Nino is staring at the newly saved telephone number next to the name Ohno Satoshi on his mobile phone. He's lying on the bed in his hotel room, asking himself how everything will turn out now. Whether he has reached his goal. Whether he should return home.
After all, he came to Tokyo to find a time shifter.
But somehow he imagined for everything to turn out completely different.
“I would love to know why he doesn't want to use his power anymore. And what exactly he can do,” he murmurs to himself.
Nino continues staring at the digits as if waiting for something to happen. Here and now. Everything beats sitting in this room alone, pondering what to do.
But he does not call Ohno. He doesn't write either. Nino passes the rest of the evening looking at the display and trying to hold onto his fleeting thoughts.
*
» Can you help me? «
Nino keeps tapping the send button but never hard enough to actually send the message. He doesn't know whether Ohno is the right person, whether he can even help him. Nino would have to explain a lot if Ohno agreed to help.
“Oh, damn it. Whatever,” he curses loudly and finally presses the send button. Shortly after he feels queasy and is miffed that there's no chance to recall the message.
Then he waits.
He's been waiting for so long that his phone vibrating makes him jump.
» I won't go around pawing half of Shibuya. «
A very embarrassing noise escapes Nino's lips, something between a grunt and a giggle, and for the first time he's glad he is by himself.
» Idiot. I'm serious. I need your help. I'm searching for a special kind of time shifter. «
This mail was typed and sent rather quickly. Maybe because Nino was annoyed by the wait.
But it takes a while for Ohno to answer again.
» What kind? «
Nino takes a deep breath.
» A jumper. Backwards. «
In his mind, Nino is already formulating his answer, for he is sure that Ohno will ask about his reasons. But it comes different than expected.
» Kid, these are even rarer than stoppers. Wouldn't it be enough to have someone who's able to rewind? Of those I got four in my family. «
He doesn't know how to answer that. Disgruntled, he throws his mobile to the side and stares at the ceiling. There's a dark stain in the corner which he frankly feels no desire to look at any longer. Fortunately, it doesn't take long for his phone to vibrate again.
» You won't tell me what you'll be needing a jumper for, right? «
He is right. But Nino knows that he doesn't have to tell Ohno that. The message was not so much a question.
» In the forums they said that those who can rewind time are limited to go only twenty-four hours back. That's not enough. I need to go further back, « he writes and realizes why it has taken him so long to ask Ohno. Why he didn't ask for it yesterday when they met up. It's easier to write about than say it out loud.
» That's right. Only twenty-four hours, then they need another day to be able to rewind or fast forward again. «
Nino sighs loudly when Ohno confirms his findings. He feels alone, miserable and hopeless as it is, but this makes it even worse. If jumpers are really as rare as Ohno tells him, then how in the world is he supposed to ever find one? Not on the internet, he's sworn an oath to himself never to be that stupid. He won't write to anyone from the forums, never mind how trustworthy they might sound.
Then he thinks about his money, thinks of how little he's got left and that he will have to go back home soon, and he wants to smash something to pieces.
Instead, he picks up his phone again. Seeing how fiercely he's pressing the keys while writing it's a miracle they don't break.
» But I need one. I need a jumper, I have to get my life back together. I have to make things right again. I need to get back to Sho... «
Nino does not send the message. He turns off his phone and burrows into his heavy blanket. Outside the sun is already high in the sky, but he closes his eyes anyway and tries to sleep.
*
Later, in the evening, as he wakes up again he needs a moment to know where he is. The stain on the ceiling is still there and draws Nino's gaze every time he looks up.
Thoughts of his father want to come up; at first he struggles against them but after a while he gives in. He knows it's inevitable and that he can't hold them off forever.
He wonders what kind of shifter his father could be. Can he spool time as, according to Ohno, so many can do? Or is he of a rarer kind? A time stopper like himself? Or maybe even a jumper? He should probably seek out his father. He might perform a time jump for him.
Nino smiles sadly. As if his father would willingly jump back through time for him. If some of the comments in the time shifter forum are to be believed, it would mean that the jumper loses all his memories of the time he's bridged. He would have to relive the whole period of time he's jumped anew, with no way of knowing what might have happened already, what he had experienced once before and what kind of decisions he'd already made.
Nobody would willingly do that.
Nobody.
Nino understands that it's about time to give up.
*
When he turns his mobile phone back on, he finds five new unanswered calls from his mother. He is just about to delete them; but hesitates.
There's another call from someone else.
It’s from Ohno.
He quickly checks his inbox and also finds unread messages:
» But I can still help you if you want. Maybe we'll find someone. Tokyo is a big city after all. «
» Hey are you disappointed now? «
» Nino? «
» Tell me where you are and I'll swing by so we can talk about this, okay? «
Nino isn't sure what to make of it. He reads and rereads the four messages a couple of times and somehow they brighten his mood. It's nice to know that there's someone out there who wants to help him. Someone who might understand him.
As he doesn't know how to answer Ohno, he simply sends the address of the hotel and his room number and waits.
Surprisingly, it doesn't take very long until he hears a knock on the door. Nino briefly runs a hand through his hair in an effort to make himself look at least halfway presentable (even though that's next to impossible seeing as he spent the better part of the day under his stuffy blanket), then lets Ohno in. The other only blinks, looking him up and down.
“You look like crap,” Ohno says grinning crookedly, which doesn't really fit the worried look in his eyes. Nino pouts and sits down on the floor with him. There's not much space left in the tiny hotel room, but he hasn't exactly planned to ever have guests in here.
“Why are you staying at a hotel?” Ohno asks curiously.
“I'm not from Tokyo,” Nino answers curtly. He's not yet prepared to reveal his entire story.
“Don't you have to go to school?”
“A lot has happened.”
Ohno simply nods, seeming to understand. Nino doesn't believe that's really the case. But it doesn't matter at the moment.
“So... a jumper,” Ohno starts on the relevant topic. Nino internally thanks him for not prying any further.
“How far back do you wanna jump?”
“Three weeks. At least.”
Ohno lets out a long sigh. “You know how much you ask of a jumper with this? Three weeks... don't take it personally, but no one will do that for you. Three weeks is quite a long time where a lot can happen. A lot that the jumper would forget.”
Nino thinks about all the things that have happened during these past three weeks; the nights spent together at the park, the cigarette on the roof, the stolen headphones, their big fight, Sho losing it. Sho saying he doesn't want to continue. Sho, who's afraid of Nino.
Not for the first time he wishes for nothing more than to be a jumper himself. How he would love to forget it all and start anew.
“You know, Nino, it would be better if you found another solution for your problem. This whole time shifter thing- better let it be. Most of the time it only makes matters worse.” With his bitter face Ohno seems to speak from experience. Nino is about to inquire further, but decides against it. Instead, he contemplates Ohno's words.
If he weren't able to stop time, if he hadn't this strange power, all of this would have never happened. He wouldn't have committed all these stupidities and Sho wouldn't be afraid of him. But what would have happened in this case? Most likely everything would've run its usual course over the years and he would've never talked to Sho, would've never truly gotten to know him. Most likely he would've messed up in some other way. Maybe he would've smoked on the school's roof anyway and gotten caught. Most likely his grades would've turned out worse.
From whatever angle he looks at it, Nino can't see anything bad in his ability.
But Ohno seems to see it, Ohno thinks entirely differently about it. Ohno, who knows so much more about this power, who probably grew up with it in a family full of time shifters.
Surely Ohno had never been alone, never crawled under his blanket - the only thing providing safety for him - and never had to wait until time started to flow again. Surely Ohno had never been alone through all this.
“There's no other solution,” Nino says aloud what his mind is playing out for him so splendidly. “I have to jump.”
“Nino-,” Ohno starts, but Nino interrupts him at once.
“There's no other way, I gotta go back. I have to go back these three weeks and for that I need a jumper. I have to find one quickly, 'cause I can't stay here much longer. And I can't wait any longer or else everything gets even worse.” His words sound more desperate than planned, but it's just exactly what he feels. He knows that Ohno cannot comprehend that, he knows that Ohno views this issue differently. Of course he views it differently, after all Ohno never had to experience all the difficulties Nino had to face because of his power. It was easy for Ohno.
“There's always another way, believe me. We'll find one, I promise,” Ohno says softly, reassuringly, but it sounds so fake all of a sudden.
“You have no idea!” Nino suddenly shouts at him, surprising even himself with the volume of his voice and instantly regrets it. Ohno looks at him surprised for a moment, eyes turning sad.
“Well, how could I if you don't tell me anything.” With these words he gets up, sends Nino a last, disappointed look and leaves the hotel room.
And as much as Nino has come to hate the feeling of being left alone, he's slowly starting to get used to it.
*
It doesn't even take ten minutes for Nino to become agitated. He can't stay in this tiny, stuffy hotel room where it's no use opening a window for air. He has to get outside, has to do something, anything. Headless, he storms out into the street, into the dark night. But Tokyo is never truly dark, there are lights everywhere, blinking and flickering. The streets are loud, the people are loud, and Nino has no idea where he's going. He just keeps on running.
He comes to a halt at a bridge. His fingers clutch the rail tightly as he's watching the busy street below. His breath comes in short gasps and his lungs are burning from running so much.
It can't go on like this, his subconscious is screaming at him.
“I know, damn it! I know,” he shouts back. His words get lost in the noise of the heavy traffic under the bridge. If anyone heard him, they ignore him.
He feels his mobile vibrating in his pocket and nearly drops it in his haste to get it out. His mind is pleading for Ohno, Ohno, Ohno as he takes a look at his inbox. All the greater his disappointment upon realizing that the message is not from him.
It's from his mother.
And Nino knows that it has to be important, because his mother usually never writes - she hasn't done that even during these last few days, after he ran away. She normally just calls since she's no friend of short messages and has never truly bothered with them. Nevertheless he hesitates to read it, even considers deleting it unread.
He finds himself wishing he had heeded his gut feeling when he finally opens and reads it.
» Kazu, the police was here. Where are you? Please call me. «
Shortly after, he gets another one.
» Please come back home. «
His stomach is starting to churn, turning worse by the minute. His breath quickens, he's just short of hyperventilating. He looks around again and again. He feels watched by every person passing him by. Fear grips him tightly, closing around his throat and threatening to cut off his breath entirely.
He doesn't want to suffocate.
The police came to see his mother. Because of the robbery. Of course because of the robbery. Though it wasn't even that much money, a crime is a crime.
He has committed a crime.
He ran away.
He left his mother behind. Just like his father did.
He is exactly like his father.
Nino takes a deep breath, leans over the rail and just wants to scream. He wants to shout it all out, all his fears, everything he regrets, everything he has done wrong.
But the scream dies on his tongue, snuffed out in his throat already. What comes out is a hoarse sob and then tears. He sinks to his knees, still clutching the cold metal of the rail, and cries.
He cries until he can’t cry anymore. After that he just sits there staring through the tiny holes of the rail down onto the street, watching the car lights race by below him and disappear into the distance. It's late and it's cold and he didn't put on a jacket.
But Nino has bigger concerns right now.
Earlier, when Ohno told him to find another solution for his problems, he had started planning for a moment - just a little, imagining going back home and apologizing to his mom. He would've told her about Sho and that he had been lovesick and had needed to get away for a few days. Nino knows he can be pretty convincing and he's sure his mother would’ve believed him.
Then he wanted to go see Sho, finally ring that damned doorbell to step up and talk to him. Just talk. About everything that happened between them, about his feelings and Sho's fears. To find a solution together and a way to be together regardless.
But that's no longer possible. It's been over since he read that message just now.
He can't go back home.
“I'm such an idiot,” he whispers to himself, “such a stupid, stupid idiot.” But this realization doesn't buy him anything anymore. It comes too late, just as his regret. You learn from your mistakes, his mother used to tell him. But she failed to warn him that sometimes it might be too late.
“Hey, little idiot,” he suddenly hears a soft voice next to him, so close it makes him jump. Turning around, he's looking at Ohno's friendly face.
Nino stops the time before the other has any chance to do anything. Since he's not touching Ohno he freezes, squatting in front of him with his round face and tired eyes. Eyes that are still looking at him with concern.
Nino needs this instant in which he can look at Ohno without anything happening. This moment to simply sit there and calm himself down while Ohno stays how he is, motionless.
“What are you doing here? Why are you here now? How come you're here now as if you knew I needed you? That I needed someone to tell me how to go on? How do you do it?” he asks excited, incredulous. Ohno keeps his friendly face.
Nino lets time flow again. Ohno's gaze changes instantly, he knits his brows and touches Nino's cheek with the back of his hand.
“You're awfully cold.”
Ohno won't just feel the coldness on his skin. Nino's cheeks are still wet from crying. But Ohno doesn't mention it.
“What are you doing here?” Nino asks again, ignoring Ohno's comment. This time he leaves all the other questions out.
Ohno's expression changes to an embarrassed smile. “I was worried. I wanted to come back and apologize but you weren't in your room anymore. And now I've found you here.”
“Hm,” Nino grunts, his gaze never leaving Ohno's face. Something about him is reassuring and Nino feels his presence does him good, helps him think clearly again.
“I've been thinking.” Ohno slowly takes his hand away from Nino's cheek, but puts it on his arm. Does he know that Nino stopped time and wants to make sure to keep skin contact so Nino can't escape?
Or maybe he just wants to comfort you, a by now well-known voice in his head suggests.
“I would like to take you with me. To my family,” Ohno reveals. Nino can hardly believe his ears.
“Why?” he blurts out, even though he has a host of other questions in mind.
“Because I don’t want you to be alone with your power anymore."
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