(Untitled)

[mortakaii]

I don't know what to do anymore. I try and try and I have nothing to show for it. I pretend I'm happy most of the time and I'm not. I've just been up crying all night. I'm thinking about myself and how I am not what I want to be. I should be ashamed of many of the things I have done in the last few years. Joey told me tonight that 'it's your way or

Comments

[vahenira]

Did you guys get in a fight? Being around you guys as much as I am, I feel like I've observed some interesting things about your relationship, but I am not sure how real they are or how deep they run...if that makes any sense. I do think that you like to have Joey cater to what you want, but I don't think you do it for selfish reasons. I think you want to know that you have some measure of power over him, because that means that he really does care. But that's just from my point of view, and I don't know how true that is.

As far as the other stuff, I totally understand. I've been feeling like that for a while, and that is why I am trying to clean up (literally) and why I am cutting back on my sugar and stuff. But I also want to start doing more creative things, and writing more, and getting out there on "the scene" (lol). I guess the best way to change is to just work on it one step at a time, one day at a time. But regardless, I love you and I will always support you in whatever you do.

[mikeybelcher]

I hope you start to feel better soon. Observing you over the past few years I have found that yes, you are sensitive. Selfish? I don't think so.

I think you're more the kind of person I am -- I mean for the best, but sometimes I bring out the worst without knowing why. I think it's hard for people that want so much out of the world, but are also unsure if the world has enough to give back.

I hope one day you and I both find a balance between our worlds and the worlds we live in...I'm thinkin' any day now.

:) Mikey