Run-down

[morty_baby]

I just got out of the hospital not long ago. Bacteria in my blood. While I was alone for 4 days before that and in a delirious fog, I had a few episodes that still have me phoning people like my buddy Deb to tell me that no, she did not get me to photocopy her dog. Not only did I take a pic of her dog (in my mind) , I also got the printer going and

Comments

[niyabinghi]

Good grief woman! Glad to hear you are recovering ---!
High fevers with the recent heat can be really deadly combos, and sneak up on one!
Now, we'd like to see the photocopies of the dog.

[morty_baby]

The thing is, the wrinkled paper under the printer had a pic of some random dog shmeared on a couple pages. I take it I found it on the internet. And later during our pretend visit, while Deb was laying on the floor clutching a sandwich that I made her, her dog came up to me in my bed and bumped noses (like buddydogs do) to wake me up and then I got to see the dog eat that sammich right out of Deb's lifeless hand. It was so real to me that I told my unit later that this REALLY happened. Insisted. It was like I was on acid or something.

At least the dog was a black and white Australian Heeler and I didn't use up any other colors.

[morty_baby]

I had a UTI for a few weeks! that I ignored! and it went from my NARROW urethra to my bladder to my kidneys and then said fuck this and jumped ship into my bloodstream. I was just not looking after myself. So basically, I pissed razor blades for a few weeks and tried to ignore it. On the flip side, UTI's are a regular occurrence for me because apparently, we tend to fuck too frequently. I will piss razor blades before I give that up.

I need a looker-afterer.

[arthur_sc_king]

I need a looker-afterer.

See my comment below.

And buy shares in Ocean Spray. Cranberry juice, dammit! Nail those UTI's before they nail you!

[the_pilchard]

You're playing dice with the Grim Reaper, Morty. He might lose a few throws but he'll win in the end. It's better not to take him on.

Don't you go and die on me. There are few enough of us left and the lot that's coming behind us are shite. I insist that you survive.

[morty_baby]

I am too mean and nasty to die, you know that. Besides, who's going to terrorize the neighbors if not me?

[randymarsh]

Just another day in Mortyville?

Glad to hear you're ok.

[morty_baby]

Yeah, sadly. I am a Peyton Place rolled up in a crunchy coating of self abuse. I should take my camera around with me to record this crap.

[morty_baby]

As I said to a buddy, I have balls of TITANIUM. And I don't even have balls. But if I did, they would be clanging together waking the cows up.