I have about a week of doggie crumbles for her and then she gets a ham sandwich and a dirtnap in the back 66. She's 15 now and had a good life but she's losing it and I am losing my patience. My thumb is throbbing to my heartbeat. Not in a good way.
Oh yeah, Jemma is certified. I have never had a critter live to old age before and like a cranky granny, she is not gaaining any brownie points with me. She forgets who I am and thinks I am attacking her if I go to pick her up, she's afraid of her food bowl and generally wearing out her welcome on planet earth. It's sad to see but inevitable.
At least she still lets you put Santa hats on her arse. Or is that when she bit you?
A long-handled axe, if twirled properly, could cut you down some seagulls in flight, even.
And I already have your address... though I haven't sent any letter-bombs. Hmm.... *fingers goatee*...
Our esteemed postal service is pleading "we have a four million package baaaaaaaaaacklog we're sorry Santa's probably not coming to Scotland this year" so I doubt we'd manage to get you Seasons Queefings in time but maybe you should expect a li'l sumfin'sumfin' when you least expect it... It won't help with the Lonely, though. Hmmm... *fingers mustache*...
Uh. Oh!
You're welcome for the axe. That's right. It was me. No, really.
Ah-hahahaha heh heh hmmmm... I love you so much, Deb. You are a cheery ray of sunshine in my day, curse you. And I would steal you away from Sem, given the chance.
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*Cries
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A long-handled axe, if twirled properly, could cut you down some seagulls in flight, even.
And I already have your address... though I haven't sent any letter-bombs. Hmm.... *fingers goatee*...
Our esteemed postal service is pleading "we have a four million package baaaaaaaaaacklog we're sorry Santa's probably not coming to Scotland this year" so I doubt we'd manage to get you Seasons Queefings in time but maybe you should expect a li'l sumfin'sumfin' when you least expect it... It won't help with the Lonely, though. Hmmm... *fingers mustache*...
Uh. Oh!
You're welcome for the axe. That's right. It was me. No, really.
*fingers thermos*
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I love you so much, Deb. You are a cheery ray of sunshine in my day, curse you. And I would steal you away from Sem, given the chance.
pee ess Thanks for the axe.
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