☭o51| I won't fall apart again
That ballroom, those people, I can't be around them all at the same time. But most importantly I can not be in the same room as him. I'm constantly fighting the urgh to not beat him or kill him in his sleep. Haha, that would be an easy way for him to get out of this hell. No I want to make him suffer.
Ahhh, my head, the voices, the laughter, it's getting stronger more demanding. Kill him, Kill Dimitri. Ignore those around you and just do it. Make him suffer even more. If you can not then you are weak. Think about what mama will Think of you.
He's not worth it...that is what they are expecting me to do. I don't want to fight anymore...I don't...I just want to grieve in peace.
You'll never have peace, knowing that he killed what was so important to you. Knowing that the murderer is yards away from your grasp. You know since he is so weak, it'll be an easier kill.
I don't want to...an eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind. Though from all of those that have wrong me in the past...my whole world is blind already. So...it really wouldn't matter if I did this...would it.
You are the one without morals; you don't see wrong in killing for something that has been taken away from you...remember?
Da, but that is the thing...even though I will feel better with a Siberia-less world, it will not change the fact that He will ever remember me. Yes it hurts that he was taken from me once, but without memories of me, and having to build things back up again...well it hurts worse that I am a complete stranger to him.
I just want to be alone. That way I only have one person to worry about, only one person to be angry with, and only one person to be disappointed with.
And who is that person?
себя.
[ooc: So Dimitri is outside in the hallway because he really can't stand being around all those people. He's...really not over a lot of things at the moment. He's talking to himself and conversing with voices in his head.
I don't know who these voices are yet, but yeah their trying to egg him on. If people do happen to cross paths with Dimitri, well...he's talking softly to himself. So feel free to bother him?]