so i edited my poem, and i'm actually quite proud of it now

[mostnights]

The Pencil

Comments

[kindof_blue]

i think this works much better. if you want to play up the sexual metaphor more, you might want to change the word "bled" to something that will be associated with el penis.

[mostnights]

any suggestions, oh master of the penis?

[kindof_blue]

Sorry. i just know penises dont usually bleed, so it kind of mucks up your metaphor.