Comments | motherendurance: Oceanic Descent (Chapter Eleven)

motherendurance

Oceanic Descent (Chapter Eleven)

May 09, 2009 04:54

Title: Oceanic Descent -- Chapter Eleven
Fandom: American Idol RPS
Pairing: Cook/Archuleta
Rating: G to NC-17. This part is T
Word count: 2866 this chapter (22,780 cumulative)
Disclaimer: It's all a lie, a darn lie! I own no one and nothing in this story except the plot and the odd theoretical background. Nor do I own any pictures, videos, or lyrics ( Read more... )

fic: motherendurance, fic, oceanic descent, cook/archuleta

Comments 9

jehane_writes May 9 2009, 11:52:14 UTC

Renata, darling, that photo of Dadchuleta is seriously freaking me out. I know you meant it to do that, so I thought I would tell you that it is totally working!

You've picked up the pace some more; the dialogue was terrific (yes, Renata's mom, I could absolutely tell who was speaking when, although the narrative didn't make it obvious!), and I especially enjoyed your Cook/Johns dialogue and interaction, which was pitch perfect.

“Dude, as long as you can survive the beauty of my voice, everything should be fine.”

I think I swooned a little here, heh.

“Yeah, I got it. Let’s get our fucking music, all right? I don’t like leaving him alone.” And with that, Cook strode off to his rehearsal room.

Michael stood in the hall a moment longer, watching Cook’s retreating form. “Fuck me,” he said under his breath, “this so does not look good.”

Loved that - in fact, everything about that final exchange was perfect! Um, no, it doesn't look good, does it, Michael?

motherendurance May 9 2009, 17:01:57 UTC

Hey girl ( ... )

jehane_writes May 10 2009, 00:16:02 UTC

Snowing, in May? Crap on a stick. Cheer up, dear, TREK TODAY! For me too, hooray!!!!

(And babe, am venturing a teeny tiny suggestion, that you and your muses are naturally totally free to ignore - I would love to see the follow up re: Jeff's outburst, which comes as a shocker in a fast-paced scene/chapter. I did not see the Jeff attraction coming, and, while it makes me sick, SICK, I think this is too important not to explore.)

((I am totally sorry if this is not helpful, dear; I know how delicate the balance is when the muses are speaking, PLEASE feel free to tell me to butt out! And of course, if you meant to do this when Lupe gets here, I'm totally *facepalm*))

motherendurance May 10 2009, 03:21:23 UTC

Oh yes dear, that's a fabulous suggestion! Also, I am afraid Jeff is not gone at all... just... hindered.

Now that he's been shamed in from of more powerful me, I have to admit I am worried about what he will do. Sadly, Jeff is going to be important.

In a way, I am surprised that you didn't see this one coming, and I'm glad to hear it. This was right since the first chapter. It's why Jeff's rages so often focused on David's "softness, woman-like nature, even his prettiness".

Thanks for feeding the muse, bb!

BF and my boys took me to see ST tonight and it was a religious experience, I kid you not. I feel like I just got out of a David & David concert with great seats. My K/S love is fully re-ignited!

I hope you love it as much as I did!

Love,
Renata

jehane_writes May 10 2009, 09:14:39 UTC

I'm glad you're going to deal with Jeff. No, I didn't see the attraction coming (and it still makes me sick), although I totally should have given your foreshadowing, so you got me there. I'm not really looking forward to more Jeff (though I'm sure you will write it well!), but it needs to be addressed, properly.

Also glad your K/S love was re-ignited! Am watching tonight, trying desperately to avoid spoilers!

clionona May 9 2009, 18:36:52 UTC

OOH!!!
God, what fierce!Cook does to me!
*swoons*
...
*clears throat*

This was brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!

The language that Jeff used with Archie was perfectly frightening. The saddest part is that I can imagine him being exactly like that. :(

The characterizations are spot on. Dead perfect.

And the ending exchange there speaks volumes...

*wibbles*

Can't wait for the next installment!

motherendurance May 9 2009, 20:01:09 UTC

Thank you darling Clio ( ... )

motherendurance May 9 2009, 20:01:37 UTC

cont from last post ( ... )

(The comment has been removed)

motherendurance June 7 2009, 05:31:23 UTC

Man, you are SO SWEET!

I find it very amusing that we seem to spend a fair amount of time re-reading each other's stories!

I am very honoured that you like mine enough to reread it bb.

Thank you!
Mama E.

PS. Thanks for catching the icky link:-)

PPS. 16 is just about done... should be up tomorrow or monday at the latest. <3