Oceanic Descent (Chapter Thirteen)
Title: Oceanic Descent - Chapter Thirteen
Author: motherendurance
Fandom: American Idol RPS
Pairing: Cook/Archuleta
Rating: G to NC-17. This part is R
Word count: 2320 this chapter (26,750 cumulative)
Disclaimer: It's all a lie, a darn lie! I own no one and nothing in this story except the plot and the odd theoretical background. Nor do I own any ( Read more... )
Comments 10
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I was kind of afraid that it would come out stilted and unsexy, and I have gone over this chapter so many times that I can't tell if it works or not at this point.
However, I know you, and I trust your opinion, so if you said sensual, I am going to assume I managed to convey at least a bit of what I wanted too.
Phew!
Almost this whole scene, from Cook waking up, to the boy's satiation, was out of a dream of mine. Lucky, I had my journal close to hand! I don't understand everything in the chapter myself, but I am sure that I will eventually!
Thank you so much for reading this bb, and for commenting. It really, really means a lot to me.
((((((((((((Night))))))))))
~Renata
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Srsly, I am sitting here all twitterpated with my knees crossed like a teenager's thanks to this hotness. I would quote the parts that worked for me, but I'm afraid my lady parts wouldn't be able to take it, ha ha.
What I will say is that it was gorgeous and sweet that your Cook was so nurturing to Archie, that he wanted to make him feel *safe*. You could have gone for, um, the more obvious hand relief (cos most guys are like that, right?), but it felt right that they did this this way, holding each other like two halves of the same soul.
And, Michael falling to his knees, at the manifestation of the water god/goddess? Just so striking.
What an amazing dream you had, bb!
Okay, off to take a metaphorical cold shower. Back later, hopefully with more incisive commentary.
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Thank Clio the Muse and her inspiring sisters! I'm so glad it was hot for you, not stupid and embarrassing. That's the hardest R I have ever written, and it was dan nerve-wracking!
As Sloan Wilson said, "If the sex scene doesn't make you want to do it - whatever it is they're doing - it hasn't been written right." So yeah, hearing you were 'twitter-pated' was a fine fine thing to hear;~D
I have to admit, when I wrote the first draft out, I had a strong need to smoke a cigarette afterwards, but I was nervous, and fussed with it too many times.
BTW, Did you catch Michael's bathroom break? Guess what the poor man was doing in there! I think there may be a side ficlet in there one day...
So dearest, now it's YOUR turn to write smut!
C'mon in... the water's warm!
(((((((((((((Jehane)))))))))))
Renata
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I'm still on romantic fluffiness, I'm afraid - I managed to get it unstuck, but it's longer than I thought it would be, so. (I put up some angst today, actually...I'm just rotating through the genres, haha!) I guess I will make the attempt and we'll see.
Gosh, poor Michael. You need to take care of him, in a side ficlet!
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JUST GUH! GUH! GUH!
*is dead*
I cannot even find the words!!!
Gorgeous storytelling, bb! Sensual and full and all-encompassing.
To me, there is nothing sexier than a sense of undeniable attraction, something that neither party can fight. And this chapter has that in spades!!!
BEAUTIFUL!!!
Loved it!!!
♥!
And, as always, I cannot wait for more!
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(((((hugs you)))))))
Hopefully the smut was cheering! I am so glad that you guys caught the vision and feeling that I was trying so awkwardly to share. It's quite hard to write hard R I think... but it obviously gets easier when you get past the "Oh My God, People Are Going To Read This And Know I Have A Filthy Mind!"
Truthfully, I didn't find anything about this filthy really. I saw it as sacred, intimate, close and caring... but it's still a bit embarrassing.
I totally agree with you on the "...there is nothing sexier than a sense of undeniable attraction, something that neither party can fight..." hotness. I wanted them literally flooded and swept away on waves of love and lust and arousal (to continue the water imagery).
Thank you for reading and commenting bb. It just doesn't seem right without you.
*smooches you*
Love,
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carpediem2012
Ok Mommy-E, you asked, you get. I blushed. I want to know where mine is. You captured an essential human emotion, "Cook was moaning continuously, trying to ignore his own body’s needs as much as possible, so that he could remain attentive to David." Superb! As a Gay man I can resonate with experience. Now you knotty wench, I am left wanting. Shame on you!
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AND you said it left you wanting!!! Finer praise hath no man, I am sure-)
Thank you so much for reading this and putting me out of my misery quickly. (You know, you and my mom, BBB, BOTH gave me your feedback within TEN MINUTES? Thank God it passed both of your standards (which are each quite high, in different ways, I assure you).
((((((hugs)))))))
Rivkah, the Knotty Wench AKA Mama E.
PS. BBB says "hello!" and sends her love!
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(The comment has been removed)
Chapter 14 will probably be up by tomorrow morning, as I like you, devote the weekends to the kids, and I don't want to make you wait!
I thought of you and our quick exchange regarding hotness not being indicated by amount of skin shown, and though I don't think I am anywhere near as good at writing the heat as you are, I did try to aim in the same general direction. So thank you for helping me!
(((((((((((trenee)))))))
~Mama E.
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