Ugh....

[mountain_douche]

I would like nothing more than to post a multi-paged essay on why "The Village" is a colossal disappointment and failure as a movie, but to do so would require focusing on several key plot points that would spoil the film for anyone who hasn't seen it. If you're with me, or against me, leave a comment (where it won't be immediately seen and

Comments

Ryan Sez:

[anonymous]

Yeah, "The Village" is some ass. On the upside, I just purchased the Invader Zim DVD and it is glorious.

Highlight space below for my comments on the Village:

Ok, Fucking people gasped audibly in surprised when I saw Troy in the theater and soldiers came out of the Trojan horse but no one was shocked at The Village. 90% of all people guess this Scooby Doo fucking shit before ever stepping into the theater. Which is why the 1800's dates on the grave stone in the opening sequence is some Bull Shit.

But if you think about it there is a secret twist in The Village. Let's see, they all have pasty skin and don't use contractions... I'm thinking this colony was founded not by Mr.Walker but rather a Dr. Noonien Soong.

Re: Ryan Sez (from Russell)

[anonymous]

Completely off topic, but had to take the opportunity.

I was in the grocery store yesterday when a phrase popped into my mind causing me to start laughing, which I tried to stifle, only causing more laughter, which then brought on the scrutiny of all other Stop&Shop patrons and employees in the bakery section who all probably thought I was insane.

That phrase? 'Tard Wrangler.

Re: Ryan Sez (from Russell)

[anonymous]

I'm glad that phrase is the impetus behind what could be considered our first direct communication in what, 3 years?

RAW-HIDE!

Re: Ryan Sez (from Russell)

[anonymous]

Technically, we have a TWI (Telecommunicating While Intoxicated) from last New Year's. I'm not at all surprised that we don't remember what we said. At least I don't.

rp

[anonymous]

There's a very simple reason The Village sucked, and that is that M. Night Shyamalan sucks. It's about time people saw that he's a one-trick pony who makes ass for movies. Long, boring, whispering, predictable ass. (Aside from Signs, which I'll admit I thought was good save for a few glaring aggravations.)

[mountain_douche]

I disagree. I thought the Sixth Sense was suspenseful and interesting, meaning the surprise ending was just an added plus. Unbreakable, to me, was also just a good story. There was a twist there, but the plot didn't really hinge on it, just one aspect of it, the opening scene. The ending was corny, but it was supposed to be a realistic comic book movie and that scene was the equivalent of Lex Luthor revealing his master plan. Signs wasn't a twist movie really, again just a good suspense film. It has it's weak moments but it holds up overall

[dcdumbass]

this argument is far better than the one you have posted above, seeing as how most of your questions and complaints I thought were explained in the subtext of the movie. The fact that the focus of The Village is far more on the tag line (the monsters) than the individuals I can see as a very potent complaint. I think the human elements are there, but not as pronounced as his previous films. I thought the love story was strong, but there was too little of it, and I think there should have been a little more spoonfeeding in regards to the Elders reasonings for the things they did. Here's a quick fix for the movie:
keep everything the same up until Ivy gets back with the medicines, but when she returns have everyone slaughtered by monsters leaving the blind girl the only survivor with no knowledge of the real world, and surrounded by monsters that she can't even see.

Ryan Sez:

[anonymous]

Here is a better way to fix it:

Instead of taking place in a Villiage it takes place in a Miami-like city circa 1980. Replace the blind girl protagnist with some wise-ass mob guy. Oh yeah and instead of a linear plot, the narrative and character's activities could be manipulated by the individual user. This can be acomplished by taking it out of the theater and putting it on a DVD format readable by say an X-box or Playstation.

Damn that would make The Village like 10X better.

P

Courtesy of Danielle

[anonymous]

Found you a perfect website: http://www.chipotlelovers.com

D again

[anonymous]

Just had this sent to me, and it seemed like your type of humor:
http://www.newsandentertainment.com/zfbobtheball.html

p.s.-Finally saw Spidey II today. Final thoughts? AWESOME.

[mountain_douche]

Goddammit, now I fucking want Chipotle. Nifty site though, thanks. I saw you called the other day but I haven't checked my messages in awhile. Did I miss anything important? I also got your post card yesterday, thank you. St. Lois eh? I remember stopping in the airport when we left for (or was it returned from?) Japan. Not too impressive, though it was just an airport. Guess the rest of the town wasn't much better based on your writing.

Glad to see you're down with Spidey 2. I want to see it again and I've already seen it multiple times.

Calls

[anonymous]

I called you twice actually...the first time because I was driving back from the DE state fair at about one in the morning and wanted to make sure I didn't fall asleep...you were one of the people I figured would be up that late. The second one was a reminder that it was Mom's bday yesterday (August 3rd). Hopefully you remembered.

[dcdumbass]

Half of these comments are longer than the post itself. You must have a knack for hitting on subjects that people care about. That or Ryan and Russell are desperate for friends to talk to. You guys need Livejournal accounts, even if it is just to post comments.

Fun Fact:

[dcdumbass]

Total word count of posts on this page:

Russell: 243
Ryan: 310
Critical Kevin: 383

Re: Fun Fact:

[dcdumbass]

You're a Dick
386

Trent's two pence

[anonymous]

So this is a horribly out-of-date post because hey... the Village just came out here. Fuck off