Kalynd, I've been thinking a lot about you the last couple days, not in an awkward way or anything but just about everything I didn't do. I really, really apologize for not telling you I wasn't coming, it wasn't justified at all and I completely understand if you want nothing to do with me. But for some reason I care about you a lot and you are honestly one of the only people in my life that I actually truly felt that you understood me. You've known me and helped me out in soo many stages of my life, even though you weren't actually "there" I knew that if you gave the effort to help that meant there was a part of you that cared. And I guess that means something. Anyway, ever since I lost all the money I had I really didn't get it back and I didn't want to try to get a free ride out of your apartment. I didn't know how hard everything was going to be and I didn't want to mess things up with yourself and my parents if I had to move back home for financial reasons. I didn't know if I could even actually do it. I didn't want to
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it's totally ok. and thank you so much for clearing the air, that was all I needed to hear. I really respect and appreciate that. I wasn't upset about the fact that you changed your mind or weren't able to go through with it. everyone has a right to make whatever change they need to, and in a lot of ways I can't say that I would have even handled the situation differently if I were you. I really understand. it was delicate and probably hard, stressful and awkward. and besides, you had other things to think about, I mean, my god, it's your life
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and I just read you're going home, so obviously things didn't go the way you expected. but like I said, regardless, happiness is possible. get in touch with me and let me know how you're doing, all right?
i moved back home yesterday because this whole thing has just been a mess and i really mostly every minute i was there. it's so weird how after knowing someone inside and out for three years could just change completely when you live with them. i'm glad i got out while i could at least.
i know what you mean about LA, but i don't think i'm like that. no matter where i go i'm the same, i think that's just how i am haha. everyone there is also so predictable and a lot of people appear to not have souls. i think i'm going back for college or something. all i wanted was just the whole start over thing but i'm going through a phase of not even knowing where i belong. i think it just takes a step at a time. i just want to make the right choice but it's so hard when you just don't even know what to do the next day. how are you doing though? are things getting better? i really hope you're happy!
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are you with your family?
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i know what you mean about LA, but i don't think i'm like that. no matter where i go i'm the same, i think that's just how i am haha. everyone there is also so predictable and a lot of people appear to not have souls. i think i'm going back for college or something. all i wanted was just the whole start over thing but i'm going through a phase of not even knowing where i belong. i think it just takes a step at a time. i just want to make the right choice but it's so hard when you just don't even know what to do the next day.
how are you doing though? are things getting better? i really hope you're happy!
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