fic: Broken memory (1/5 or 1/6)
Kazuya was sitting in the car and waiting for Jin. Like always. He always did that. That was obvious that Jin was late. He always was late. Kazuya took a deep breath, when he finally saw his lover. He counted to ten, because he must calm down. He didn’t want start a quarrel. He stayed in silence, when Jin moved.
‘You’re late’ finally broke the silence. He was tired of waiting and Jin didn’t even apologized him. That was enough for younger one. ‘You’re always late’
‘I know’
Two words, nothing more. Kazuya looked at Jin with no one word. He can’t believe in what he just heard. Jin didn’t even try to apologized him, didn’t feel guilty. He was so cold, and acted like he was and King of the World.
‘And?’ he again took a deep breath. ‘That’s it? You don’t want to apologize me?’
‘As if it makes a difference’
‘It makes Jin!’ Kame explode. ‘I’ve had enough! You’re always late, and I always wait for you. You’re never told me that you’re sorry. You’re such an idiot!’
‘Yeah, yeah… of course’ Jin was calm and it made Kame crazy. He can’t believe in what he saw. His Jin was a jerk. His Jin didn’t care about his feelings. His Jin… or maybe he wasn’t his anymore? He didn’t know.
‘I hate you’
‘I know’ replied Jin. ‘ Bur you love me, right? Then you’ll be waiting for me always’
‘I don’t know’
‘You what?’ Jin braked sharply. Seats belts stick in Kazuya’s chest. He couldn’t catch a breath for a moment.
‘I don’t know if I love you’ Kame muttered slowly and silently. He knew that’s not true, but he had enough. He wanted to know other one’s feelings. He wanted know it so badly. And he knew that he could act. ‘I don’t know Jin. Just because you treat me like your toy’
‘I do what?’ Jin raised eyebrow, with a small smile on his face. ‘Yeah, sure. What’s your problem Kamenashi?’ he asked him with that fucking smile on his face. Kazuya wanted to erased that smile. He wanted to punch him, and he do that. He sucked him in his face, and then he yelled.
‘You’re my problem Akanishi! You’re fucking idiot! I hate you and I love you! And then I hate you even more, because of that!’
Jin touched his red cheek and smiled widely. He didn’t expect such an explosion of anger, but he liked it. He knew that Kazuya was honest with him. Jin came up to him and kissed. Kame felt Jin’s soft lips at him and he closed his eyes. He let his tears came up, and then he heard loud noise and nothing more…
~.~
He was falling. Falling in the dark and he hadn’t have anything to catch. He was falling down and he didn’t know what he should do. And then he heard someone’s voice, which was calling him. Everything slow down. He wasn’t falling anymore. He stood on the cold floor and listened to the voice, which came through the darkness.
~.~
Kazuya slowly opened his eyes, and then immediately closed it. The light was too dazzling for him. He felt someone’s hand on his hand, and he heard voice, which he knew. He knew this voice, so he again opened his eyes.
‘Hello little turtle’ Koki smiled widely to him, and stroked his hand. ‘Welcome back in our world’ Kame heard that Koki sigh with a relief. He tried to smiled to his friend, but he can’t. He was too weak for it. ‘You should rest. I’ll call the doctor’ he kissed his forehead and left him alone with a mess in his head.
Kazuya didn’t know what’s going on. He didn’t know what happened. He was lost and he was alone. He wanted to called his friend, but he can’t. He had a tube in his throat. He can’t do anything, so he just fell asleep.
~.~
Koki felt relief when Kame opened his eyes. He was alive, and he came back to them. He stood outside of the Kame’s room and thinking about task which he got from the others KAT-TUN’s members.
Once again he cursed his fucking luck. He drew the shortest straw, so he must told Kazuya about Jin. And that task was impracticable. He can’t do that. He was weak and he flinched. He can’t told Kazuya, that Jin died in that car crush. He thought that would be too much for younger one, because he just woke up. He was to weak for that shocked information.
He slowly walked for a doctor and fighting with his thoughts. He knew that at the end Kame must knew true, but he just can’t be that cruel.
~.~
Ueda came to the hospital after the Koki’s call and now he was standing with his friend and observed Kamenashi’s family, whose came visit his son.
‘What the doctor said?’ finally he asked Koki, because he was curious.
‘Kame’ll be fine’
‘That’s great’ he smiled widely to his friend. ‘You told him, did you?’
‘No, I can’t. I can’t do that Ueda. He isn’t prepared for that news. He just woke up. Give him more time’ Koki was determinate to fight for his thoughts and he wanted to protect younger one from the pain.
‘I know that will be hard, but we must do that. He must know it’ leader pulled Koki to the room and he came to Kame’s bed, then hug him tight. ‘I miss you! We all miss you’
~.~
‘U-chan’ Kame’s voice was a bit hoarse, but warm. ‘Can someone tell me what happen?’ finally he gained for courage to asked about it and he was shocked when everybody got silence. They stayed in silence for a moment, then Ueda took a deep breath.
‘You had a car accident’ he told silently. ‘You’re sleeping for a week.’
Kazuya nodded slowly and tried to recalled incident, but he had a black hole in his memory. He raised his eyebrow and gave everyone apologetic smile.
‘I don’t remembered that…the last I remembered that I was waiting for someone in the car and I’ve got frustrating for that person’
‘You’re waiting for Akanishi’ Ueda hugged Kame even tighter. ‘I’m so sorry Kazu’ he whispered.
‘Sorry for what?’ younger one was surprised. ‘And…who is this Akanishi?’ he asked slowly and again surprised with reaction of everyone in his room. Again they’re stayed in silence, and they didn’t knew what to told him. ‘Who the hell is this Akanishi?’ Kazuya repeated that question. ‘Should I know him?’
‘He was your enemy’ Koki took a deep breath and decided to talked a bullshit. If Kazuya didn’t remembered then he didn’t be depressed when he finally got that Akanishi died in this car accident. ‘And he go away. He is no more on your way’ he smiled widely to Kazuya and stroked his hairs. ‘Try to rest a bit’
Kazuya again give them a small nodded, and he closed his eyes trying fell asleep.
~.~
Koki left the room, and based on the wall. He closed his eyes, he felt a tears which was falling down on his cheeks. He knew that he did a mistakes, but he saw an opportunity from the fate. Kazuya didn’t remembered Jin, so they could gave him small lie.
‘What was that?!’ he felt punched on his stomach, and he bent in half. ‘What was that about?! Could you explained it?!’
‘Don’t be mad… I just can’t told him about Jin’s death. And he didn’t remembered him, so… why we can’t bend the truth a little?’
‘That’s not fair Koki! He must know! We can’t lied him!’ Ueda yelled at him, but he knew that he felt on his idea. ‘I’m going now. I’ve told everyone about your idea, and we should took Akanishi’s things from Kazuya’s apartment’ Ueda closed his eyes and took a deep breath. ‘But if he remembered him… you’ll be the one, who came to Kazuya with an apologize’ leader warned him, and left hospital.