Comments | mouths_of_hell: I never knew I could hurt so bad..

angelbuffy in mouths_of_hell

I never knew I could hurt so bad..

May 14, 2005 20:06

The ride back was pretty much silent, except for a little movement from fidgeting people. I didn't want to talk, and Giles didn't want to talk, so that left everyone that was in the car wondering. Wondering a lot of things, and since Giles was alive, I think they were mostly wondering if I had killed Angel. In which case, no. I couldn't once ( Read more... )

Comments 15

backintweed May 16 2005, 13:22:56 UTC

I was numb.

I knew that it was my slayer standing before me and I knew that she had saved my life, because I had tried something stupid, as to take on Angel, but literally, I didn't know any other way at the moment.

I was sad, truly devastated, and yet, I couldn't cry. It wasn't that I was trying to be strong in front of my slayer, it was probably because it still didn't sink in that she was gone.

And the anger, hidden by the shock, was probably keeping me from crying, but yet, anger and sadness didn't give me the iniative to actually form any words, either.

I looked at Buffy with hollow eyes, wanting the tears to fall again, like they had outside of the factory, but they couldn't come, and Buffy.

She...she had to feel as awful about this as I was feeling. "Buffy, he...he must pay with his life."

angelbuffy May 16 2005, 23:14:03 UTC

Hearing him say that, hearing the words, and feeling that he had in them. the anger, pain, it made things a little easier, yet harder at the same time ( ... )

backintweed May 17 2005, 16:05:40 UTC

Her saying that she hadn't been able to kill him then, but was ready to now, loosed my numb sensation and just made me a blubbering baffoon once more ( ... )

angelbuffy May 18 2005, 14:46:09 UTC

I didn't want him behind me that was the point. I was going to be going in this alone, like the slayer should be doing. Everything alone. I was grateful for my friends, and giles, everyone. But I couldn't let anyone else get hurt, especially since this should have been handled a long time ago.

But I didn't say anything. I wasn't going to tell him that I was going to do this alone. I wasn't going to tell him that I needed his support, but not him being on the front lines. None of them.

I just held him, thinking about the events that were going to be in the future. I hated the future. I hated everything right now.

"I will stop him Giles."

When I got home, I was going to curl up in a ball.

Thread 15