Broken Angel 10/14

[moviegeek03]

Title: Broken Angel 10/14
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: ~5700
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for violence, sexual situations, and references to non-con(but nothing graphic)
A/N: This story is based off a prompt by the amazing imogen_lily . Thank you so much for the gorgeous banner and for letting me play with this idea! I appreciate all the help sweetie!!!
Summary: Senator Fred Lehne has been brutally attacking, raping, and murdering young men for over a decade, but always evades arrest thanks to his money and power. He has everyone fooled, except one team of detectives headed by Captain Jeffrey Dean Morgan and his protege Jensen Ackles. When things become worse, Morgan goes to FBI agents Misha Collins and Jim Beaver for help. They offer it in the form of Jared Padalecki, hotshot profiler who also happens to be Jensen's boyfriend. But there is more to Jared...he also happens to be the only surviving victim of Lehne's...

Jensen fidgeted in the hard plastic of the chair. His body protested from the cramped position, but his mind screamed at the images that kept replaying. He couldn’t stop seeing Jared so scared. He couldn’t stop seeing Jared bleeding out onto the floor of the cabin. He couldn’t stop seeing Jared struggle to stay awake. He couldn’t…and he wouldn’t for a long time to come.

So sitting in the sterile white waiting room only amplified everything. He wasn’t by himself, but he wasn’t sure that was bringing him much comfort at the moment. Jared’s family had all shown up and looked petrified. They were going through all this again. Jensen couldn’t blame them for being scared, not when he was just as terrified.

Danni had stuck around, partially to help him and the Padelecki’s and more because she was just as worried for Jared. Misha, Jim, and JD had been forced to go with Lehne. He was a couple of floors above them having the bullet wound in his leg and the stab wound to his shoulder taken care of by a doctor. He would soon be carted off to the state penitentiary’s infirmary to await the trial. Jensen tried not to focus on that too much.

Something warm was shoved into his trembling hands, momentarily interrupting his thoughts. He startled and glanced up to see Danni smiling sadly at him.

“Any more news, hun?” she asked. She made sure Jensen had a good grip on the cup of coffee before letting it go and sitting down beside him once more.

Jensen sipped at the bitter liquid then ran a hand over face. “Not really…he’s still in surgery right now. They’re working on his leg and his abdomen. The nerves in his leg were probably damaged even more…they’re trying to salvage some of it I guess. They’re worried the knife hit his kidneys or his spleen. He had some internal bleeding and they’re not sure what’s causing it so they’re cutting him open to see and they haven’t been out to talk to me in awhile so I don’t-“

“Shh…take a breath, Jen,” Danni said soothingly. She rubbed her hand up and down his back as he tried to calm down.

“I just,” he started shakily once he caught his breath, “want him.” The tears he’d been trying to hold back for the past couple of hours slipped out and started to cascade down his face. Suddenly, another slim hand was rubbing at his back and cupping his cheek to swipe away the tears.

“I know, baby,” Sherry cooed around her own tears. “We all do.”

Jensen started crying harder in front of her. “I’m so sorry.”

“What have you got to be sorry for Jensen?”

“I…I should’ve protected him. I promised you! And look at what happened! I failed…him…and-“

Sherry cut off any more words he could’ve said by grabbing his shoulders and pulling him towards her chest. His head settled in the crook of her neck. He continued to sob, soaking her sweater within seconds. She just held tight, letting her own emotions come out. They just sat that way for awhile in silence as the rest of the hospital went about its busy night all around them.

It seemed like hours before they were interrupted by the clicking of heels as a slim, curly haired doctor made her way over towards them.

“Family of Jared Padalecki?”

“Would be us,” Gerry answered as he stood up. The rest of the group stood and gathered around the woman, praying she would have good news for them.

“I’m Dr. Burton, and I’ve been put on Jared’s case. First and foremost,” she emphasized, “Jared is alive and in recovery at the moment.” They all breathed a sigh of relief. “Surgery wasn’t easy, but was successful. We were able to repair enough of the damage to his leg so that he should still be able to walk, albeit with a limp and lots of physical therapy.”

“He’s already had to use a cane since he was sixteen,” Sherry mumbled softly.

“I read that in his files. I’m sorry, ma’am.” Sherry nodded her appreciation. “Now, the wound to his chest didn’t require any surgical intervention. It wasn’t deep enough for that, however it will scar. Over time the lines will lighten, but I doubt they’ll ever fade completely for him.”

Jensen stiffened against Danni at that part. He’d seen the wound before Jared had been carted off in the ambulance. He knew Lehne had finished the horrible mark this time, and it killed him to think it wouldn’t be going away any time soon.

“We also had to do invasive surgery to his abdomen to stop some bleeding the stab wound had caused. It nicked his spleen, which caused the massive blood loss. It wasn’t a large enough tear to warrant removing the organ, however Jared is going to have to be on bed rest for a little while to prevent further trauma to it and additional bleeding. We believed it was in his best interest to see if that worked rather than inflict the further stress that removing the organ could have caused to his body at this point, especially since it was so small.”

She paused to allow everyone to silently take it all in before she continued on with the list of Jared’s injuries.

“He’s also sporting some bruised and cracked ribs. The majority of his back also has some deep bruising to it. There is some facial bruising, but not as severe thankfully. Surprisingly, he doesn’t have a real concussion. He definitely took some hits to his head, so we’ll be monitoring that in case of any changes. At this point, we are mainly worried about the possibilities of infection from those wounds and the blood loss. He’s receiving transfusions as we speak, as well as some antibiotics. He’s already developed a low-grade fever, but that’s not uncommon given the trauma his body’s gone through. However, his breathing seems good; we have him on an oxygen mask to help him out a bit.”

“God,” Jensen gasped once the doctor finally stopped listing it all.

Dr. Burton smiled sadly at him. “We do have one thing that I think will make you feel a lot better. I know according to his file that he experienced extensive trauma from being…raped…as a teenager. I performed a rape kit on him and didn’t find any signs of trauma that would indicate it whatsoever.”

They all allowed more tears to flow at that. It had been in the back of their minds since Jared had been kidnapped the night before.

“Thank God,” Jensen breathed out, sagging a little into Danneel.

“Now, if you guys will follow me, we should have Jared up in the ICU by now. I’m afraid that only two to three people are allowed in at a time. But after you’ve all been to see him, at least one or two of you will be allowed to stay with him all night. Like I said, I’ve read his files from when he was sixteen. I think it would be in his best interest to have someone with him.”

“Thank you,” Gerry said with a bit of a shaky smile.

Dr. Burton nodded before motioning for them to follow her. “Then just come with me.” They worked their way up to the ICU floor of the hospital. They walked past rooms that all contained very sick and injured patients, only separated from them by the glass of the window. Dr. Burton finally came to a stop outside of one that had the curtains pulled shut across the glass. “Given the nature of his attack, we went ahead and thought it best to keep the curtains pulled to for him. We normally prefer to be able to see our ICU patients, but I figured one of you would be with him at all times anyway and that he would prefer privacy.”

Danni cupped the back of Jensen’s neck. “Don’t think you’ll be able to keep Jen out of there if you tried,” she replied with a ghost of a smile.

“Now are you all family?” the doctor asked, taking into account what Danneel had said.

“I’m his mother, Gerry his father, Jeff his brother, Megan his sister,” Sherry listed. “Danni here is a family friend. And Jensen…he’s my son’s partner. So yes, all of us are family in my opinion.”

“Good to know,” she replied back. “I’ll make sure that everyone has access to Jared’s room then. Is there anyone we should not allow up?”

“Yes,” Jensen answered quickly. “I don’t want anyone who is connected to Senator Lehne in anyway stepping near him. Lawyer, coworker…his freaking grandmother! I don’t care…”

“I’ll make sure the security team knows. I’ll have some guards stay on the floor as well. I want to make sure Jared feels safe.”

“Thank you,” Jensen sighed.

“Of course. If you all need anything, just have me or one of the nurses paged.” With that, the doctor walked away to visit more of her patients, leaving the family alone at Jared’s room. Jensen’s eyes locked on the closed door.

“Jensen,” Gerry spoke up. “I think you should go in first by yourself. We’ll go in two at a time after that. That way you can stay with him the whole time, son.”

“But-“

“It’s ok, baby,” Sherry added. “He’ll need you just as much, if not more, than us.” She walked over to him and squeezed his shoulder before gently shoving him towards the door.

“Thank you,” Jensen replied as he tried to rein his emotions back in once more. After taking a deep breath, he slowly moved into Jared’s room. The nursed had dimmed the lighting, but the room was still nearly blindingly white. In the center of it, Jared lay on the large bed. He was nearly as white as the rest of the room from the blood loss, making the bruising stand out so much more. Jensen could see the thick gauze covering his chest poking out of the hospital gown. Jared’s long hair and an oxygen mask obscured most of his face.

“Jay…”

Jensen took a shaky breath and allowed a few tears to slip from his eyes before walking closer to the bed. Jared looked awful, but he was alive. That was all that mattered…

Jensen snagged a chair and pulled it as close as he could to Jared’s bed. He took his boyfriend’s hand in his own and gently rubbed at the cold flesh. He reached up with his other hand to smooth some hair away from Jared’s pale face. He didn’t even flinch, an obvious indication that he was still deeply asleep from the meds pumping through his veins.

“I’m so sorry, babe. I promised…and…”

“You couldn’t have stopped it, Jen,” Sherry suddenly said from behind him. She closed the door behind her and Gerry and approached Jensen. “We’ve been there sweetie. I know how it feels. I wanted to blame myself the first time around; we all did. It didn’t help Jared one bit though. And it won’t now either. You didn’t do this to him, Jen. Don’t you ever think that.”

“But-“

“Jensen-“

“We got in a big fight last night…that’s why I wasn’t there. If I was there, he wouldn’t have been in the park and-“

“And Lehne would’ve gotten to him today when they went to lunch,” Gerry added from out to the side. “He knew Jen. I don’t think there was much anyone could’ve done to stop him.”

“But I should’ve been there,” Jensen replied miserably.

“Jensen, you can play the what if game and say I should’ve all you want, son. But it won’t change anything. Being there now, that’s what will make all the difference. I promise you that.” Gerry reached over and squeezed Jensen’s shoulder.

Jensen sniffled and nodded his head before turning his attention back to Jared. He knew Gerry and Sherry were right and that he couldn’t change the past. He could only move on from it…with Jared.

*********

The rest of the night and the following day went by much too slow for Jensen. His day was spent beside Jared while the nurses and visitors became a blur around him. He barely spoke to anything of them, accept to find out about Jared’s progress from Dr. Burton and Lehne’s case from Misha. Of course, everyone had tried to get him to talk and move from his spot, but they weren’t that successful. Jensen only left to go to the restroom and get more coffee, and even that was only for a few minutes here and there. He refused to leave Jared’s side. After awhile, he barely even realized that others were coming and going throughout the day. His sole focus was on Jared…waiting for Jared to wake.

He was tired and his back ached from the damn plastic chair. But that didn’t compare to what Jared had gone through. So he stayed sitting in the chair despite the exhaustion threatening to pull him under. He did lean forward in the chair, with his back popping loudly, so that he could lean down onto the bed. He laid his head down on top of his arms but kept his hand tightly gripping Jared’s.

He wouldn’t fall asleep…he wouldn’t…

It became a running mantra in his head. Yet he couldn’t quite stay alert. After a few moments, his eyes slid shut and he nuzzled his head softly against Jared’s hand.

“Mmmm…”

The soft sound normally wouldn’t be enough to jerk Jensen awake; however he was extremely anxious and edgy. The slightly noise would at this point. Because of that, Jensen’s eyes shot open and began to dart around the room. They searched for a nurse or doctor first before scanning the machines for any signs of trouble. They then fell on Jared…whose brow was now slightly creased.

“Jared?” he asked hopefully. He pushed himself back up in the chair and pulled Jared’s had towards him carefully. “Jay?”

“MMM,” Jared moaned a little louder. His eyes fluttered under their lids and his nose crinkled for a moment before his eyes blinked open slowly. At first, they didn’t settle on anything but then they darted fervently around the room. “No,” he gasped breathlessly from underneath the oxygen mask. “No...” He moved a little restlessly under his thick sheets, causing him to groan as pain lanced through him.

“Jared!” Jensen leaned forward and gently held down Jared’s shoulders. He wasn’t moving enough to really cause much damage, but Jensen didn’t want to risk Jared hurting himself at all. “Baby…”

“No…don’t hurt…no…please,” Jared mumbled, eyes closed tightly.

Jensen moved one hand from Jared’s shoulders to cup the less bruised side of his face. He felt water under his palm where a few tears had escaped from Jared’s clenched eyes. “Jare…you’re safe. It’s just me…ok? I’ve gotcha babe. No one can get you. He won’t get you.” He felt Jared shake his head. “Shh…I mean it Jared. Why don’t you open your eyes for me, huh? Come on…please Jay. Just for me, huh?”

Jared stilled under Jensen’s hands and slowly cracked open his eyes. More tears slid out before he finally focused on Jensen. “Jen?”

“Yeah,” Jensen replied with a smile. “It’s me Jay.” He swiped away some of the newer salty tracks of water.

“Y-you came?” Jared’s eyes were wide and still searching Jensen for answers. “But…I…”

“Shh…of course I came. I’ll always be there for you. I shouldn’t have left, and for that I’m so sorry. But I promise, I’ll always come.”

Jared sniffled softly. “But…he…he said…”

“It’s ok,” Jensen soothed. He understood. Lehne must have told Jared Jensen wasn’t going to come back for him. He seethed with the knowledge but kept his cool for Jared. “He was just trying to hurt you. Don’t listen to him, babe. I’ll always love you. Ok?”

Jared nodded and a ghost of a smiled tried to appear from under the oxygen mask. “Th-thank you. Love you too…”

Jensen sat down on the edge of the bed and carefully pulled Jared towards him, being mindful of his injuries and the various medical tubes. Once he had his boyfriend in his arms, he leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead. Jensen breathed a sigh of relief when Jared didn’t flinch or move away. He just leaned into Jensen touch and started to relax. He was nearly asleep again when a nurse creaked open the door. He jerked and had to muffle a cry of pain. Jensen pulled him in tighter.

“Well,” the kindly nurse said with a smile. “It’s good to finally see those pretty eyes open, Dr. Padalecki. We’ve been waiting to see them for over a day now.” She walked over towards the cabinet across from the bed and pulled out gauze and gloves. “I’ll let Dr. Burton know so she can assess you herself. But for now, it’s time to change your bandages.”

Jared trembled slightly in Jensen grasp, but nodded to the nurse anyway. As she moved closer to him Jared shook more.

“Can I stay up here with him?” Jensen asked.

The nurse, Ava as the boys noted, saw Jared’s shaking form and how he was practically grasping at Jensen. “I think I can work around you sweetie. I know you want to be close to your boy. I don’t blame you.”

“Thanks,” Jensen sighed. He released Jared a little so that Ava could work on him. “Ok, sugar, I’m going to work on your leg first then work my way up.” With that she quickly got to work. She undid the tape holding the gauze pad to his thigh. She checked the stitches and disinfected before adding a new bandage. She then did the same thing to his abdomen. “Almost done.”

She pulled the blankets back down over his lower body and shifted his gown a little to reveal his chest would…the horrific lily…

Jared involuntarily whimpered as she set to work on it. She apologized for hurting him, but Jensen knew that wasn’t the problem. Jared’s eyes had darted to the new forming scar before slamming shut. He wasn’t in pain, at least not from her touching the wound….

“All done hun! I’ll page Dr. Burton. You get some rest and let this one take care of ya.” She smiled once more to her patient before heading out.

Jensen immediately turned to Jared. “Babe-“

“I’m fine,” he said too quickly. “Just still sore.”

“Jared-“

“I’m fine,” he nearly snapped. “I just want to get some sleep.” Jared started to turn away from Jensen, but then decided to curl into his boyfriend some more. “Will you stay with me?” he asked much more softly.

“Wouldn’t be anywhere else.” Jensen leaned further down on the bed and slid his arm around Jared once more. Jared snuggled in as much as his battered body would allow before finally succumbing to the pull of sleep.

This was a good sign. At least Jared wasn’t pulling away from him…or so he thought…

*********

The car ride was done in silence. Jensen kept sending looks over towards Jared in the passenger seat. He was stretched out in the seat, fast asleep with his head turned towards Jensen. His arm was wrapped around his stomach with his hand protectively covering his healing stab wound. His bad leg extended out in the floorboard. A thick sweatshirt hid the bandages on his chest…the wound that seemed to be giving Jared the most trouble…

Jensen scrubbed a hand tiredly over his face as he came to a stop at the light. He was glad to be going home after spending ten days in the hospital with Jared. His boyfriend had developed a nasty infection in the lacerations along his chest and abdomen. It had required the nurses and doctors to almost constantly monitor and change the dressings, much to Jared’s obvious dislike. He had trembled and withdrawn almost every time. Jensen had hoped it would get better, but it wasn’t. Maybe it would since they were finally going to be home and Jensen would be the one taking care of him. Hopefully…

Jensen pulled the Impala slowly into the driveway, doing his best to avoid any potholes or cracks. Once the car was in park, he leaned over to gently wake Jared. “Hey buddy…time to get up. Ok?” He pushed a strand of hair away from Jared’s still bruised face before squeezing his shoulder. He was rewarded a second later with Jared’s eyelids fluttering open and blinking up at him. “Hey, we’re home, Jay.”

Jared pushed up in the seat a little, wincing at the pain it caused his still sore body. “Already?” he said around a yawn.

“Yeah, traffic was light.” Jensen unlocked the doors. “Let me get take your meds and bag in then I’ll come help you.”

“Think I can manage the few feet on my own, Jen,” Jared huffed.

“Jay-“

“I can walk you know. They did give me the crutches for a reason…”

“Fine,” Jensen sighed. He knew arguing with Jared wouldn’t get him anywhere. The younger man really didn’t like anyone helping him for some reason…not his parents, his siblings, the hospital staff…Jensen…

Jensen climbed out of the car and scurried over to Jared’s side. He already had the door open and the crutches out on the concrete of the driveway. He was twisting around in the seat, and the pain creased his forehead. After a few seconds he pushed himself into a bit of a standing position. However, the pain and the dizziness it caused sent him falling towards the side of the car.

“Woah!” Jensen grabbed onto him to prevent him from falling. “You ok?”

After a few moments, Jared nodded and tried to get out of Jensen’s hold.

“Let me help you in…I don’t want you falling.”

“I can-“

“I know you can, but I want to help you. Please?”

Jared didn’t reply, however he did allow Jensen to help him into their house. Once inside, Harley padded over to the door to greet them. “Hey buddy,” Jared called to the dog. The mutt whined slightly and bumped his head against Jared’s hand. “Miss you too.” Jared glanced around the room before looking at Jensen. “Sadie? I thought you said…”

“She’s doing fine, Jare. She’s just still sore. He…uh…he bruised her chest pretty bad. She’ll be ok though.”

Jared nodded and then started moving towards the stairs on his own.

“Hey!” Jensen caught up to him in seconds. “What are doing?”

“I’m going up to bed,” Jared sighed. “Damn meds knock me out.”

“Jared…why not camp out on the couch? That way you won’t have to deal with the steps with-“

“Jensen, I barely fit on the couch. I’m heading up to bed.”

“Then let me he-“

“I’m not a freaking invalid, Jen! I can manage!”

Jensen bit his lip as Jared started to painstakingly make his way up the stairs. He started climbing along behind Jared, just in case, and ignored the grumblings the younger man made. In the end, they made it to the top without any real trouble.

“Sadie,” Jared breathed out in relief when he opened the bedroom door. His baby girl was lying on top of their unmade bed. She lifted her head up when she heard Jared, wagging her tail and barking excitedly. “Hey sweetheart.” Jared shuffled as fast as he could with his hurt leg and the crutches. He finally sat down on the edge of the bed next to Sadie. She scooted towards him and happily licked at his hand.

While Jared was distracted with the dog, Jensen sneaked over and took off his shoes, knowing Jared would try to do it himself if he didn’t. After he was finished, Jared shot him a slight glare that faded once Sadie nuzzled at him again.

“Get some rest, babe. Do you need anything else before I go get some work done for a little bit?”

“I’m fine,” Jared said quietly.

“Ok…just yell if you change your mind.” With that, Jensen headed down the hall to his office to go over some files and evidence.

Jared let out a breath and continued to pet Sadie. He could feel the bandages and bumps under his hands. “I’m so sorry, girl.” She snuffled as if to show that the apology wasn’t needed. He sighed to himself and crawled under the covers. With Jensen out of the room, he let a few whimpers and gasps escape as the action pulled on his stitches and various bruises. By the time he got underneath the sheets, he was exhausted. He figured a few minutes of sleep would do him good…he only needed a few…

“Jared?”

“Mmmm…”

“Come on Jay. I need you to wake up for a sec, babe.”

“Mmmm…why?” Jared whined as he started to fully wake. “Thought you said rest was good?”

Jensen couldn’t help but laugh. “It is, but so is redressing your wounds, babe.”

At those words Jared immediately woke the rest of the way. “Oh…”

“Sorry, Jay, but it’s time for that. I’ve just gotta wash my hands and I’ll get on it.”

“No!” Jared shouted, grabbing onto Jensen’s arm.

“Jared?”

“I…I,” Jared gulped. “I’ll do it. I can reach them on my own.”

“It would be-“

“I’ll do it, Jen. I’m injured but that doesn’t mean I can’t do things.”

“I never said-“

“Just go back to work. I’ve got it.” Jared climbed out of bed and snatched his crutches and the supplies Jensen had carried in with him. He then headed towards their bathroom a few feet from the bed, slamming and locking the door behind him.

Jensen sighed and slumped down onto the bed. Sadie whined and pawed at him. “I know girl.” She whined again. “He’ll get better…”

*********

And Jensen stood by that idea for another week before he started to question it. As he walked back down from their bedroom, Jensen ran his hand through his hair. He was exhausted…

He had tried, very unsuccessfully, to help Jared clean and dress his wounds once more. He knew Jared was having a hard time doing it himself, even though he wouldn’t admit it. Furthermore, Jensen was pretty sure the deep gashes on his chest were infected again. Granted, any attempt to convince Jared he needed help was pretty much mute.

“Rough night?” Sherry asked as he came into the kitchen. She was pouring a cup of coffee for Jensen.

“He still won’t let me do anything for him.” Jensen slid onto one of the barstools across from Sherry. “I know he’s got another infection but he won’t let me look at it. I mean, hell he won’t let me do anything for him unless he’s trying to go to sleep. Then he practically begs me to stay with him. I don’t know what to do! Was it this bad before?”

Sherry sighed and took Jensen’s hand in hers. “Pretty close hun.”

“How did you help? What am I supposed to do? I’m supposed to fix this and I can’t…”

“I wish you could, Jen. I’ve been there. I prayed every night that I could fix things for him. It just isn’t that easy. We can help, but only so much and only when he sees that he needs it.”

“But he does need it!”

“I know…which is why I’ve already called Sam.”

“What did she say?” Jensen asked more hopefully.

“She recommended that Jared saw another psychologist…a friend of hers who specializes in these types of situations.”

“She thinks that will help?”

“She thinks it wouldn’t hurt for Jared to have someone else on his side aiding in his treatment along with her.”

“He won’t agree to it. He doesn’t want anybody seeing him. I mean, I had to fight just to get Misha in the same room as him!”

“I have an idea…”

*********

The room was cold from all the cement blocks lining the walls. It sent shivers down Kurt Fuller’s spine as he sat in the plastic chair. The door across from him suddenly clanged open to reveal a very battered looking Fred Lehne. Bruises stood out against the bright orange of the jumpsuit. His arm was held in place by a sling and he walked with a limp.

“You have half an hour,” the guard yelled before shutting the door on the two men.

“Holy shit, Fred,” Kurt gasped. “You look like hell…”

“Shut up Fuller! I didn’t ask you here for beauty tips. We’ve got a case to build…”

“Of course, sir,” Kurt gulped. “If Jared testifies…I’m not sure how great you’ll hold up against him.”

“I don’t care! He isn’t going to want to testify. He’s going to wish that he’d been mine all this time! I’m going to make him regret this.” The bastard was practically cackling with anticipation…

*********

“GAH!” Jared jerked awake, with Lehne’s cackling ringing in his ears. The images of Lehne coming towards him with the knife danced through his mind as he tried to shake the nightmare. Sadie licked at his hand, grounding him a little further.

He ran his other hand over his face before glancing at the alarm clock beside him. “Shit,” he mumbled. He hadn’t even gotten to sleep an hour before the dream had hit him hard. He pushed himself up in bed, only to have to pause as his chest alit with fiery pain. “Ahh,” he groaned to himself. He lay back on the pillows for a moment to catch his breath.

A clanging noise from downstairs echoed up through the floorboards, causing him to jump slightly. “Jen?” he called out for his boyfriend, trying to make sure everything was ok. When he heard no reply, he slowly made his way out of bed. He picked up his discarded crutches and hobbled towards the first floor.

“Jensen?”

“In here!” Jensen yelled from the den.

It took Jared longer than he would have liked, but he finally entered the room. “I heard a noise and I was worried you’d…” He cut himself off as he looked around the room. Jensen was standing in the middle, leaning against the back of the couch. Jared’s parents and siblings stood off to one side of the room, while his coworkers and friends were on the other. Beside JD stood Sam. “What’s going on here?” Jared shrunk away from everyone as their eyes all settled on him.

“Jared…come here, baby,” Jensen said softly as he crossed the distance between them. “Come sit down and hear us out.”

“I don’t understand…”

“Jay, we’re here to help you, sweetheart,” Sam added. “You can’t keep going like this.”

“Going like what?” Jared questioned shakily. “I’m f-fine…”

Sherry walked over towards her son and stroked his sweat-dampened hair. “I don’t think you are, baby.”

Jared tried to shrug out of her touch, but Jensen kept him in his place. “No! I am…you guys don’t have to do this. I don’t need help!”

“Jared,” Jeff started.

“No…I’m fine!”

“No you’re not,” Jensen reasoned. “You’re running yourself into the ground. And I can’t take it anymore. I’m not going to let you do this to yourself!”

Tears started to flood Jared’s eyes. He couldn’t deal with this. He didn’t want to deal with this. He suddenly jerked away from Jensen and bolted as fast as his leg would allow him. His crutches fell to the ground as he ran to the nearest room he could. He hurried into the nearby bathroom, shutting and locking the door before he slumped to the ground and clutched his side.

He couldn’t deal with this. He couldn’t have them see him like this. Not all of them! No…he just couldn’t. There wouldn’t be any turning back. They’d all see him as the weakling he was! He couldn’t be weak. He just couldn’t…he had to be strong. He couldn’t be weak…

“You’re not weak…”

Jared startled as Jensen’s voice penetrated his thoughts. He hadn’t even realized he’d been speaking out loud. He glanced towards the door and then back at Jensen who was now sitting next to him on the cold tiles. “How…”

“I stole a hairpin from Alona. No way I’m letting you think stuff like that on your own.”

“You should just leave me alone Jensen.” Jared leaned his head down into his hands and sniffled. “You should…”

“I should be right here with you figuring out what is going on in that gigantic brain of yours.” Jensen put his arm around Jared and pulled him towards him. “Come on babe! You have to talk to me. You need help. That doesn’t make you weak.”

“Yes it does! I should be able to handle all this…but…”

“But you’re having a hard time. Jare, that’s normal. You went through hell…twice! You’re the bravest, strongest person I know.”

Jared shook his head. “No I’m not! I’m weak and pathetic. I was so terrified and-“

“And you fought back. I saw Lehne, Jay. He was pretty bloody himself.”

“He…he was going to…y-you…know. I…I couldn’t…”

“Shh, I do, babe. But you stopped him. It was all you.”

Tears Jared had been holding back for nearly two weeks, hell maybe even the past decade, started cascading down his face. Jensen pulled him tighter against his chest and mumbled calming words the whole time. “I’ve gotcha. It’s ok, Jare. Let it out.”

It went on for awhile. Both of them sat on the floor, just holding onto each other and Jared allowed his emotions to finally be released. Once they were finally under control, Jensen kissed him on top of the head and looked him in the eyes. “We’ll get through this.”

Jared nodded against Jensen’s chest. “I…I don’t want to keep doing this. I just…”

“Hey,” Jensen said sternly. He pulled Jared’s chin up so that he could see him once again. “You’re going to be ok.”

He then leaned down and gave Jared a kiss on the lips. It wasn’t as passionate as they were used to, but it did hold the promise of more. It was a start.

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