Gone Away Awhile 1/?
Title: Gone Away Awhile 1/?
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: ~7600
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for sexual situations, MPREG, and medical/health problems
A/N: This story is based off a prompt by the amazing imogen_lily . Thank you so much for the gorgeous banner and for letting me play with this idea! I appreciate all the help and nudging sweetie!!! You are an amazing person to work with!
Summary: Jensen has it all…great job, lots of money, the love of his life…and NO kids, just the way he wants it. Everything seems perfect, until one night following a big fight Jensen comes home to find Jared has left, turning his world upside down. Four years down the line, he might finally find the answers to all his questions…in the form of two little boys who look a lot like him and Jared…
The hot Texas air floated in through the kitchen window and ran across their over heated skin. The family prepared the table in the dining room next door. It didn’t matter to either of them. All that mattered was the taste of each other’s lips…the soft caresses to the face…the feel of the other pressing against them.
“Missed you so much,” Jensen whispered huskily as he leaned up for another kiss. His body pressed Jared further against the counter and Jared shifted to accept him.
“Missed you too, Jen,” Jared said, smiling into Jensen’s kiss. “Hate when you go away for so long.” He gently nuzzled at Jensen’s neck before pressing a suckling kiss to the flesh.
“Mmmm,” Jensen moaned as he pushed his body closer to Jared’s and completely melted into his husband. “I hate it too. But at least it means we get to do this when I come home.” He reattached his mouth to Jared’s and settled his hands at Jared’s hips. His fingers ran along the sharp point of the bone, causing Jared to squirm a little at the sensation.
“So true,” Jared replied a little breathlessly when he finally moved his lips away from Jensen’s. It was only for a moment though. They were right back at kissing each other. The rest of the world completely fell away…at least for a few seconds…
“God! Get a room you two!”
Jared startled a little, and Jensen quickly turned around. They both came face to face with Josh, who was feigning a grimace as he walked into the kitchen. He playfully shoved Jensen out of his way so that he could grab some rolls from the oven.
“We are in a room,” Jensen pouted, making Jared laugh.
“How about finding one with a door next time little brother?” Josh said as he grabbed Jensen and pulled him into a headlock.
“Hey!” Jensen practically squealed. “Let me go!” He pushed against his brother’s chest but he couldn’t get out of his grip.
“For crying out loud…are we twelve?” Jensen’s sister Mackenzie piped up from her spot in the doorway. “Seriously? How am I even related to you two?” She sauntered into the room, her boot heels clicking on the tile floor. She ignored her squabbling brothers and headed over towards Jared. “You know this is why you are my favorite brother, right?” She leaned up and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
“Of course,” Jared laughed, throwing his arms around his sister-in-law. “How have you been doing Mack?”
“Pretty good, Jay,” she said near his ear. She pulled away from his hug, but kept her hands on his muscled arms. “How about you? Last time we talked you weren’t feelin’ too hot?”
“You’ve been sick?” Jensen asked from around Josh’s arm, which was still wrapped around his neck. Josh heard the concern in his brother’s voice and let go of him. “Why did you say something? I would’ve-“
“I know. Which is why I didn’t say anything. Was probably just a bug Jensen. By the time you got back last night, I was fine…really.”
“Ok…you still should’ve called me. I could’ve cut the trip short and-“
“And you probably would’ve lost that client because of it,” Jared sighed.
Jensen was about to argue back when he mom walked into the room.
“Josh, I thought I asked you to get those rolls for me?” Donna chastised softly. She glanced at Jensen’s reddened face and shook her head. “But it looks like you’ve been too busy picking on your brother…so…”
“I’m getting them mom. Sorry, but I haven’t seen Jenny in ages.”
“I know,” Donna replied sadly as she walked towards her middle child. “You really should see if you can’t get someone else to take a few of the trips for you instead sweetheart. We all miss you ‘round here.”
“You know I…” Jensen cut himself off as he saw a look flicker across Jared’s face. He knew the younger man hated to see his husband gone so often for business trips. It had gotten worse as the years went on…after his dad had nearly retired. “I’ll see what I can do,” he said to his mother, but the words were more for Jared than anyone else.
“Good,” Donna sighed, giving her son a kiss to the forehead. “Now, you all go in there and get ready to eat.”
“Let me help you with that,” Jared offered.
“Go on dear. I can handle it. Go be with Jen. I know you’ve missed him, sugar.”
“Thank you,” Jared replied with a smile before taking off after Jensen.
Alan was already sitting at the large table and sipping from a glass of water. Andy, Mack’s husband, and Kate, Josh’s new wife, were both engaged in a conversation with the older man. However, they stopped when they noticed everyone else flowing into the room.
“Jensen!” Allan stood from his chair to give his son a hug. “How was the trip kiddo?”
“Was fine Dad. I sealed the Monroe Ranch. They want to buy all new equipment from us and put their ranch into the 21st century and become more competitive.”
“Good…good job.” Alan clapped Jensen on the shoulder.
“Enough talk of business,” Donna shushed. “Always feel like it ruins a good meal.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Alan laughed.
Donna finished putting the steaming plates of food on the table before sitting down between her husband and her daughter. “Dig in guys!”
With that, no one wasted any time. Everyone tore into the chicken, potatoes, and other vegetables that were scattered before them. The food was delicious and made Jensen realize just how much he missed being home. He spared a glance at Jared. His husband smiled as Jensen’s eyes fell on him. Jared snaked his hand under the table and clasped his, making Jensen relax into the chair a little more and allow the last bit of stress from work fall away.
Jensen loved his job; he really did. He had taken over as head of Ackle’s Ranching years ago. He’d always had a mechanical and analytical mind. Developing advanced ranching machinery came naturally for him, and he had thrived under his father’s watch in the business. Yet it did often require him to leave for days and even weeks at a time for trips. It all made moments like this so
Mackenzie cleared her throat nervously, drawing everyone’s attention to her. Andy set his fork down onto his plate and slipped his hand into hers underneath the table.
“What is it sweetheart?” Alan asked.
“W-well…Andy and I had some news we wanted to share with everyone…”
By now the entire table had paused in devouring the meal and were all turned towards the youngest of the family.
“Andy and I…well…I’m pregnant,” she stuttered.
The group stayed quiet for a moment before Donna squealed in delight and jumped up to pull her daughter into a hug. Alan followed suit, hugging his daughter and shaking her husband’s hand.
Jared stood from his own seat and scooped Mack into his arms. “Congrats girl! That’s pretty damn exciting!” He pulled her off the ground for a moment in the hug and then set her back down. Her dad’s arm snaked around her waist and pulled her against him as well.
“You guys aren’t mad?” she asked, still unsure.
“Why would we be mad, baby?” Donna replied. “You’re been married for two years now, Mack.”
“I know, but I was worried you’d think I was too young and that we should’ve waited and-“
“Honey, we are a little surprised, but we are not mad at all!”
“We just didn’t expect you to be the first to give us grandchildren. That’s all,” Alan added.
“We always figured Jared and Jensen would be the ones.”
“Mom-“ Jensen started.
“I’m just saying…you two have been married for going on five years. You have a good job. Jared’s almost done with his Masters at this point. And it isn’t like you won’t make good parents…”
“Mom, stop.”
“Jensen-“ Jared tried to interject.
“No, mom, you should just assume we would be the first ones to have kids. Hell, Josh is the oldest! You should’ve expected him to be the one…”
“Don’t drag me into this,” Josh huffed. “Besides, we all know you’ll be next. With the way you and Jared are with each other.” Josh smirked as he teased. “It won’t be long now.”
Before Jensen could reply, his mom started up again. “Besides, Josh just got married six months ago, Jen, and you know that. I’m not meaning anything by it. You were just the first one to get married. I know Jared was young at the time, but not much younger than Mack is now. I just thought by now you’d get over that nonsense of not wanting-“
“Well you thought wrong,” Jensen snapped.
“Jen!” Mack warned more sternly before turning to a softer tone. “If you don’t get over here and congratulate me in the next few seconds I’m gonna think you don’t want to be an uncle. One…two…three…”
Jensen sighed and got up to go over towards her. “Congrats sis…I really am happy for you. I promise,” he whispered into her ear. He stood to her side afterwards; his mom was still looking at him so he excused himself to the kitchen. He could definitely use a drink…
The rest of the family began moving about the room again. Alan and Donna moved back to their chairs. Josh and Katie started chatting away with Andy about the new baby. Mack stood quietly by Jared as he watched Jensen start to walk towards the kitchen.
“I knew I should’ve waited,” Mack muttered to Jared.
“What are you talking about? No way you were going to keep this from us.” He put his arm around her slender shoulders.
“I just…after everything you two have gone through…”
Jared closed his eyes for a second and nodded. “It’s been awhile back. Besides, just cause I’ve had…trouble…doesn’t mean I wasn’t going to be happy about you.” He squeezed her arm reassuringly. “Like I said, that miscarriage was years ago.”
But that didn’t make it any less fresh in their minds. Jensen knew that all too well. Even overhearing Jared and his sister from his spot near the liquor cabinet had the memories sneaking up on him once again. He grabbed the whiskey and reached for a tumbler. The brownish liquid sloshed against the glass. He stared at it, trying to ground himself as he became swept away…
***********
The soft sunlight poured in through the drapes as Jensen shuffled underneath the covers. His hand moved up to pull Jared closer to him, but he was met with an empty side of the bed. He felt along once more, and only felt the coldness of the mattress.
“Jay?” he mumbled, slightly more awake now. He opened his eyes to search around the room. Jared was nowhere to be found. Jensen pushed himself up in the bed and felt along the nightstand for his glasses. He knocked over some of the pregnancy books that they’d been reading through the night before. Jensen ignored it in favor of searching for Jared.
He padded out of the room, looking down the hall towards the empty bathroom. He then headed down the stairs. He saw a light on in the kitchen and made his way towards it. As he walked closer, he heard harsh breathing and pain filled pants.
“Jay?” Jensen called, hoping his voice didn’t quake. He rounded the corner and Jared finally came into finally came into view. “Babe?”
The younger man didn’t respond. He was slightly hunched over the sink and trembling awfully. He had a fine sheen of sweat all along his face. One of his arms was wrapped around his waist while the other was grasping at a bottle of water.
“Jared?” Jensen crossed the distance between him and his husband in seconds. “Jay? What’s going on?” He walked up behind Jared and put his arms around him. At first Jared looked like he hadn’t even realized Jensen was in the room. But after a few seconds, Jared gasped in pain and collapsed back against Jensen.
“GAH!”
“Woah…Jared…I’ve gotcha!” Jensen adjust his stance and lowered himself and Jared to the cold tiles of the floor. “Jared?” He ran a hand across Jared’s face, feeling the warms along his forehead. It was a sharp contrast to the coldness of the rest of Jared’s body.
“S-sorry…didn’t…didn’t want to wake you,” Jared said breathlessly.
“Sshhh, don’t worry about that right. What’s wrong baby?”
“Woke up….felt weird…h-had some…cramping. Thought a drink…would help. Just got worse and-AHHH!”
Jensen held onto Jared tighter as he curled into himself. He was shaking worse than before and was moaning as pain continued to assault him. Jensen rubbed at Jared’s lower back, trying to comfort him. When he moved his hand away, he gaped as it came back stained red…blood red.
Jared moaned and tried to curl into Jensen more. Jensen’s own hands shook as he pulled Jared’s shirt away from him. The lower half of it was stained with blood, as were his once grey sweatpants. It began to seep through the cotton and started to pool on the tiles.
“Oh God…”
Jared didn’t hear Jensen. He was too busy trying to catch his breath as more waves of pain shot through his stomach and into his back. He settled his hands on the slight bump of his abdomen. The action had been comforting just the other day when he noticed the slight change. It did nothing this morning…
Jensen managed to get up to the phone to call for help. He hated leaving Jared alone, but there was no way he was moving him to his own car in this state. He needed profession help, and he needed it now.
“911 what is your emergency?” the operator answered.
“My husband…he’s bl-bleeding and in a lot of pain and…”
“Ok, sir, calm down and take a deep breath. Is your husband cut or anything?”
“No…his pants are just soaked with blood…”
“Any medical conditions I should notify the EMTs of? I’m tracking your call now and sending help as we speak.”
“He…no…well, he’s pregnant. Couple months in…”
“Ok…do you hear any sirens yet?”
Jensen was about to answer when the blessed noise started echoing from outside. “Yes!”
“Good…do you need me to stay on the line or are you ok to flag them down yourself?”
“I’ll hang up. Thank you!” With that he clicked the phone off and ran to open the door. The paramedics were already coming towards him. They followed Jensen into the kitchen where Jared was stilling lying, barely conscious at this point from the pain and blood loss. They quickly got him up on the stretcher and placed an oxygen mask over his mouth. It was all a blur for Jensen and he didn’t even realize they were putting Jared into the ambulance until a hand pulled him towards the back as well.
Jensen stayed quiet the whole ride with his eyes fixated on Jared and his hand rubbing soothing circles on Jared’s own hand. An IV was already sticking in the back of the other hand. A monitor was across his stomach, but Jensen had no idea what it was letting the paramedics know.
It only took a few minutes for them to reach the ER’s entrance. Jensen’s hand was falling from Jared’s, sending fresh tears to his eyes. He tried to reach for Jared one last time, but the small female EMT grabbed his arm. “Let them take him sweetheart. We’ll watch out for him.”
“But-“
“I know it’s hard. Come on…I’ll get you settled in the waiting room.” She kept her hand on his arm and guided him towards the waiting room. “Just sit here for me, ok? I’m going to get some papers I need you to fill out for me. After that, I’ll see what I can find out about your husband for you.”
Jensen nodded his head, but the EMT was already walking away. Everything became a blur for Jensen. He filled the papers out and felt the EMT’s hand on his arm every once in awhile, but it was a very detached feeling. Time had no meaning. Everything meshed into the burn of the antiseptic smell, the bright lights, and the tears stinging at the back of his eyes.
After what felt like years, a lady walked over towards Jensen. “Mr. Ackles?”
“Y-yes?” Jensen stuttered as he shakily stood from the plastic chair, ignoring the pops and cracks of his protesting body.
“I’m Dr. Gamble, and I’ve been looking after Jared. Why don’t you come with me and we can discuss his case?” She looked anxious but kind. Jensen tried to fixate on the kindness in her voice instead, yet he couldn’t. Instead he followed her with dread pooling in his gut. They wound down a narrow hallway until she ushered him into a small conference room. “Take a seat sir.”
“Jared?” Jensen asked like a lost little boy. He sank down onto the large sofa and stared up at Dr. Gamble while she took a seat across from him.
“He’s alive,” she initially soothed. “That’s the most important thing.”
“And…the b-baby?”
Dr. Gamble’s eyes flickered to the floor in hesitation. That combined with the bloody images of Jared on the floor were enough of an answer for Jensen.
“Oh God,” he gasped
“We did all we could, Mr. Ackles.
“I don’t…”
“These things happen. I know it isn’t much consolation. Sometime the body just can’t handle things, sometimes it’s stress related, and sometimes there really isn’t a feasible reason. I’m not sure what happened in this case. It looks like Jared’s body just couldn’t handle the pressure and did what it felt it needed to help. But I do know he’s lost a lot of blood and will be in some pain for awhile. We’ve got him on some medicines for that and to help stave off infections that could develop. We’re also transfusing more blood into him at the moment.”
“Can I see him?”
“I think that would be best. Come with me.” They both stood and Dr. Gamble started leading Jensen towards Jared’s room.
As the neared it, Jensen paused. “Does he know?” Jensen’s eyes were red rimmed with unshed tears.
Dr. Gamble looked to the floor once more. “Y-yes…he woke up while we were transferring him to a room. We had no choice but to tell him.”
Jensen just nodded, trying to keep the tears at bay once more, before he slowly walked into the room. Jared lay under a pile of thin sterile sheets, his skin practically blending into the whiteness. An oxygen mask obscured his face and various wires ran to and from his body. His left hand was settled on his still swollen stomach. Jensen walked towards the bed and took the hand in his.
Jared moaned lightly and began to blink up at Jensen. “J’n?”
“Hey Jay,” Jensen soothed, leaning down to kiss Jared on the forehead. It felt cold under his lips. He never took his hand from Jared’s.
Jared started to become awake and his expressive eyes started filling with tears. “I’m sorry,” he choked out.
“Shh…you have nothing to be sorry about.”
“But-“
“It wasn’t your fault.” Jensen gently climbed into the bed and pulled Jared towards him. “We’ll be ok, Jay. The two of us…we can get through this.” He held his husband tightly as Jared’s world quickly started to shatter around them.
***********
The tumbler slipped from Jensen’s hand and shattered on the kitchen floor, effectively halting Jared and Mack’s conversation on babies and how Jared could always try again. Jensen didn’t want to hear it. Jared wouldn’t be trying again. Not after the hell they’d been through with all the miscarriage problems. It was painful, for the both of them, each and every time. Jared’s body, while capable of becoming pregnant, never could handle the pregnancy as it progressed. Which always led to miscarriage…after miscarriage…after miscarriage. Besides, Jensen was happy the way they were…just the two of them. That’s all he wanted, all he needed.
“You ok in here?” Jared suddenly asked, reaching down to pick up a few of the larger shards of glass.
“Don’t!” Jensen said a little rougher than he meant to. Jared furrowed his brows. “Just…just don’t want you to get cut.”
Jared knew Jensen wasn’t being truthful. He just didn’t know what was wrong.
“I’ll get that with the broom sweetheart,” Donna called as she came into the room.
“Thanks,” Jared said, still trying to figure out what was going on with Jensen. “I think it’s time for us to actually head home if you don’t mind. Jensen’s got an early meeting so…”
“Of course you two! I’ll take care of this. Thank you for coming. Oh! Jared…I’ll get in touch with you about helping me plan out some things for the baby shower; we’ll have to start planning soon!” She leaned in closer to Jared, but Jensen was still able to hear the words faintly. “Maybe we can even figure out a way to talk Jen out of this whole anti-children thing he’s got going on.”
Jared smiled at his mother-in-law before looking towards Jensen. His husband had tensed at his side when Donna mentioned the baby shower and the ribbing. It hit Jared hard what was going on with Jensen…
“Thanks, Ma. I’ll talk to you about it later. Thanks again.” With that , they quickly gave Jensen’s family quick hugs and took off towards their car. Jensen started to walk towards the driver side, but Jared pushed him to the passenger side. “No you don’t…I know how much you’ve drank. No way you’re getting behind the wheel.”
“I’m fine,” Jensen huffed.
“No you’re not,” Jared replied sternly before climbing behind the wheel. Jensen reluctantly climbed into the other side. They drove in silence back to their own house. Jensen was stewing beside him while Jared navigated the Impala around the streets. He finally pulled into their parking spot to the side of their building. Jared hated living in town, but it was easier for Jensen to stay at the penthouse rather than the ranch out of town.
They both remained silent in the elevator, only casting a few glances towards each other. When the doors finally opened to their floor, Jensen quickly bolted and headed into their home. Jared took a deep breath before exiting and following Jensen inside. Jen was already in the kitchen, digging through the liquor cabinet. Jared walked up behind him and pulled the bottle of whiskey out of his hands and moved it out of reach.
“Jay! What the hell!”
“Stop, Jen. I get it…hearing Mack being pregnant upset you and brought up a lot of shit. I get that…trust me. But you can’t do all this. I mean-“
“But-“
“-we can always try again you know. It’s been a couple years since my last mis-“
“The hell we are!”
“Excuse me?”
“Jared…I don’t want to try again! I don’t want to be a parent! You nearly died the last time we tried. It’s not worth it! I don’t want it!”
“Fine,” Jared sighed. “We could always go for adoption or surrogacy. That way you wouldn’t have to worry about-“
“God! You aren’t even listening, Jay!” Jensen’s face started to redden with anger and frustration. “It isn’t just because of the damn miscarriages! I DON’T want kids!”
“But…we’d be good parents. I-“
“Not everyone is cut out to be a parent. I’m not. I shouldn’t have to try to be.”
“But, just because you think you don’t want a kid doesn’t mean you’d be a bad parent. Sometimes-“
“Sometimes people have kids when they shouldn’t. People are selfish bastards who shouldn’t have kids! They turn out abusive and shit. Hell, look at your parents! They never should’ve had children but they did and-“
“And we’re nothing like them! How dare you even-“
“But that’s my point! How the hell do we know we wouldn’t? Kids change people, Jared. Why do you want to even bother with that? We’re good the way we are! We get to enjoy our life and be just the two of us. Kids change all that. They make you bitter and then you turn on your partner then on them. It just-“
“So you are basically saying my brother and me made my parents act the way they do? Cause that’s what I’m getting from all this right now.” Jared was furious, but he did his best to keep his tone even.
“No,” Jensen quickly replied. “I would never say that shit was your fault, Jay! I’m just saying that your parents changed after they had kids. The focus was taken off them and everything went to shit. I don’t want that for us. We’re better off without kids! Are marriage would just fall apart with them, just like your parents. We shouldn’t-“
Jared pushed past Jensen, cutting off whatever he was about to say. He stalked off towards their bedroom, reappearing a few minutes later with a pillow and a blanket.
“What’re you doing?” Jensen asked, still reeling from their fight.
“Sleeping in the den…”
“But…what…why?”
“Well…you pretty much just said I should never have been born. Why would you want me to sleep in the same bed as you after that?”
“No! Jay!! I didn’t mean that! I just meant-“
“Whatever Jensen.” Jared shoved past him and headed towards the den. He shut the door behind him, effectively closing Jensen off from him.
“Shit!” Jensen walked over towards the kitchen chair and sank into it, running a hand through his hair. “What did I just do…”
***********
Jensen’s head pounded as the sunlight filtered in through the curtains. He felt exhausted from his fitful sleep; he never slept well without Jared beside him. He blinked towards the alarm clock, realizing it was only four in the morning. He groaned and started to curl back up in bed for a few more hours of sleep. Then the sound that must have originally woke him started up again…horridly painful retching…
Jensen quickly climbed out of bed and made his way to the bathroom across the hall. He knocked on the door. “Jay?” His only reply was more vomiting. Jensen twisted the knob, extremely grateful that it was unlocked. He found Jared curled around the toilet with an arm wrapped tightly around his stomach. “Aww…babe.”
“MMM,” Jared moaned. He started to protest Jensen being there, but his stomach revolted on him yet again, sending his head back down.
“Shh,” Jensen soothed. He knelt down beside Jared and started stroking his back. “You’re ok. Let it out. That’s it.” After a few minutes, Jensen grabbed a wet washcloth and started cleaning Jared up, allowing the coolness of the rag to settle on Jared’s neck. “Better?”
Jared nodded and slumped exhaustedly back into Jensen. “Thanks,” he croaked. “Sorry…”
“I’m the one who should be sorry. Last night…”
“You were out of line,” Jared whispered.
“I know. I’m sorry.” Jensen kissed Jared’s sweaty forehead, not happy with the heat he felt there. “You really should go see the doctor. You’ve had this bug for awhile now.”
“I’m fine.”
“Jay…”
“Fine, I’ll call and see if I can’t get in there in a couple hours.”
“Thank you,” Jensen sighed. “Let’s get you to bed…a real bed…so you can get some rest. I’ll call Danni and see if she can fit you in this morning. I’m sure she can.”
Jared nodded, already half asleep. He let Jensen guide him to the bedroom, not really realizing how he even got there. All he knew was that Jensen remained by his side the whole time and pulled the blankets up around them both.
“Gonna make yourself late for work,” Jared mumbled, trying to push Jensen away.
“Shh, it’s still early. And I can always text Tom to let him know I’ll be a little late. You’re more important than work.” He pulled Jared back towards him, snuggling into the bed more. “I’m really sorry about last night. You didn’t need all that shit when you’re sick.”
Jared hummed in agreement.
“I love you, Jay. Don’t want you to ever doubt that. I just-“
Jared leaned over and briefly pressed a kiss to Jensen’s cheek. “I know…just don’t do that again.” Jared put his head on Jensen’s chest, struggling to stay awake. “Love you too,” he mumbled. He was vaguely aware of Jensen’s hand running through his hair, but the exhaustion quickly became too much…
A couple of hours later, Jared slowly woke. The sun was higher in the sky and the clock blinked nine o’clock. A post-it-note was stuck to the side of it. Jared reached across and pulled it towards him to read:
Danni will take you in at 10. Love you and feel better! -Jen
With a sigh, Jared climbed out of bed and rushed to get ready. By the time he was dressed, a car was already waiting for him in the lot. Chris sat in the front seat flipping through a newspaper.
“Morning,” Jared yawned in greeting.
“How ya feelin’, Jay?”
“Been better,” he sighed. “Guess Jen filled you in, huh?”
“Yep…come on! Danneel’s expecting you. Let’s haul ass so you can get looked at.”
Jared shook his head at Jensen’s friend. He loved Chris, he really did. But he hated how Jensen felt Jared needed the other man to be around 24/7 to watch out for him. Lost in his thoughts, Jared didn’t even realize they had stopped at the doctor’s office until Chris was opening his door. “Thanks,” Jared replied sheepishly.
“Good luck in there. I’ll be back in a couple hours to pick ya up.” Chris waited until Jared was inside the doors before pulling back onto the road.
***********
Jared internally groaned at the horrid paper gown he was being forced to wear. Various medical posters adorned the walls, warning of everything from heart disease to obesity. When the door finally clicked open, Jared had never been so grateful to see Danneel Harris sauntering into a room, her high heels clicking with each step.
“Morning Jaybird…what seems to be the problem sugar? Jensen told me on the phone you’ve been throwing up for the past couple of weeks?”
“Yeah,” Jared quietly admitted.
“Lie back for me.” Danneel slipped glove on and began feeling around Jared’s toned stomach. “Pain?”
“Some,” Jared winced as she palpitated a particularly tender spot.
“Hmm…let’s go ahead and do an ultrasound to rule out some things.” She grabbed the machine and squeezed some of the gel out. “Sorry, I know it’s cold.” She began moving the wand around. “Umm…”
“W-what?” Jared tried to push himself up a little to see the screen. Everything looked foreign to him, except in the middle of the picture. “Oh God…is that?”
“Congrats Jay! Looks like you’re having a baby!”
“I…but…what?”
“Actually,” Danni gasped, “I’d say you are going on three months hun.”
“I can’t…I’m not that big…and I…can’t…”
“Shh…take a deep breath! I know this a shock, but everything looks good, Jare. I’ll make sure it stays that way. Day or night, just call me, ok?” She started cleaning off his flat stomach, carefully removing all of the goo.
Jared nodded and sniffled. “Thanks Danni.” Once she was finished cleaning him off, he leaned up and gave her a hug.
“Of course sweetie. Now, I’m going to go get you some pamphlets and get you set up with another appointment. We’ll do a full work up then. I’d do it now, but where we were just squeezing you in for a quick check up, I don’t think I can get it all done. I’m sorry.”
“It’s ok. I didn’t know I…”
“It happens Jared.” Danneel smiled at him before walking out of the room.
Jared carefully climbed down from the exam table and started to pull on his clothes. His hand settled on his stomach for a moment. It didn’t seem real…he never would’ve guessed…
His phone chirped from his jeans pocket, startling him. He quickly grabbed it and saw Jensen’s name flashing on the screen.
“Hey,” Jared said into the cell.
“Hey yourself,” Jensen called from the other end. “Are you feeling any better?”
“Yeah…a lot actually.” Jared couldn’t help the smile that started to grace his face.
“Good…glad one of us is having a better day.”
“What’s wrong?” Jared pulled his shirt on over his head quickly.
“Steve invited us to a party next weekend.”
“So…you like Steve?”
“It’s a party for his three year old son,” Jensen grumbled. “A house full of screaming toddlers all covered in cake is not my idea of a fun party. God…why do coworkers just expect you to want to be at all their kids’ stuff?”
“S-sorry Jen,” Jared shakily replied.
“I mean, it’s bad enough that we’re going to have to go through all that with Mack’s baby. Damn…listen, can you find a gift for Steve’s son? You’re good with kids…you’d be better at it than me.”
“Sure…”
“Not like we’re actually going to be going to the damn thing. I’ll just tell Steve you’ve been sick. Those little monsters are nothing but germ invested leeches anyway. He’ll understand…OH! So what did Danni tell you?”
Jared froze for a moment. Trying to take everything in. “Just a bug,” he lied, feeling tears slide down his cheeks. “I’m fine”
“Awesome! Hey, I gotta go. I’ll see you at home. Love ya!”
“Love ya too.” Jared shut the phone and slid it into his pocket. His hands shook. He knew he was completely screwed…
***********
Jared moved through the penthouse on autopilot, unconsciously clutching at his flat stomach. Pregnant! He couldn’t believe it. He felt sick, and not because of the pregnancy side effects. Jensen wasn’t going to take the news well. He’d made that perfect clear last night and on the phone. With a sigh, Jared slumped down against the nearest wall. Harley and Sadie nuzzled at his hands, but he didn’t notice. His minds was whirling.
He’d always wanted kids. Not Jensen…Jensen had gone along with it at first but had voiced his true feelings more than once after the fact. He wasn’t going to be happy about this…
The tears started cascading down his cheeks. This should be one of the happiest moments in his life. But he was plagued by last night’s fight. Jensen wasn’t going to be ok with this. It wasn’t going to work. He wouldn’t be able to deal with this. It was going to be a mess.
“What am I gonna do?”
Sadie licked his hand in her own show of comfort. He scratched behind her ears as a thank you before forcing himself to stand. He walked towards the bedroom where Jensen had slept the night before. Signs of their marriage and their life were in every corner…an old picture here…a souvenir from a vacation there…
“God,” Jared gasped, feeling overwhelmed by everything. He closed his eyes, hoping that would block everything out. It didn’t. It only succeeded in making his over imaginative brain picture how telling Jensen the news would go. It wasn’t a pretty picture…
Jared opened his eyes and took one last look around the bedroom. With a trembling hand, he opened the closet door and started pulling out his duffle bags and suitcase. He moved around the bedroom, grabbing clothes and books…anything he couldn’t live without. He packed the dogs supplies and his battered laptop. He dug through the drawers in search of his beat up truck’s keys. The ones to the newer and more expensive cars were on top of the dresser. But Jared couldn’t take those; not like this.
His hand fiddled with his wedding band for a moment before leaving it on his finger. He couldn’t leave it behind. He was already losing too much…
***********
The coffee shop was busy with people hurrying home and wanting a quick bite to eat or pastry to take home to their loved ones. Jensen fit into the latter. He was patiently standing in the long line in order to get Jared’s favorite chocolate eclairs…Jared was addicted to the things back when he worked at the shop.
Jensen ran a hand over his face and sighed as the person in front of him stepped out of line, apparently fed up with waiting. Jensen wouldn’t leave though; he wanted to apologize to Jared properly. After all, he had brought up the one subject during their fight that always crossed the line: Jared’s parents. He’d known that it was a low blow last night, but had said it anyway. Jensen had learned early on that Jared’s parents were nothing like Jared…
“Hey Jen,” Katie smiled happily from behind the counter. Her voice rose over the whir of the coffee machines and the clanking of mugs. “You here for our boy?”
“Yeah,” Jensen replied with a smile of his own. He glanced around the area behind the counter, but didn’t see his boyfriend anywhere. “Where is he anyway?”
“Um,” she said, biting her lip. “He’s in my office. I sent him back there about an hour ago when he look like he was about to pass out on the lattes. Said he didn’t get much sleep last night.”
Jensen’s brow furrowed but he didn’t say anything on it. Jared pulled all nighters all the time. He was a college student…it wasn’t uncommon. “Thanks Katie,” he replied instead. “You mind if I head back there and get him?”
“Go on, hun!” Katie waved him back and pointed to the door for her office.
Jensen flashed her a smile before heading towards the back of the shop. He easily found the main office. Jared was sprawled out across Katie’s small couch. His long legs were stretched out over the arm with his Chucks Taylor’s brushing the carpeted floor. His jeans had a few coffee stains on them, most likely thanks to his exhaustion making him clumsy. His bangs fell across his face, making him look much younger than his twenty-one years.
Jensen reached up and brushed them from his face before moving his hand down to Jared’s shoulder. He squeezed gently to wake him. Jared whimpered in his sleep at the touch.
“Jay?” Jensen softly said, unsure of what was wrong, if anything was wrong at all. “Come on babe…wake up.” He ran his hand through Jared’s hair this time. Jared’s eyes blinked open at the touch.
“Jen? What are you doing here already?” he mumbled around a yawn.
“Jay…it’s five o’clock.”
Jared’s eyes darted to the clock up on the wall. “Shit…I slept half my shift away. I-“
“You’re fine. Katie said you were exhausted and needed the sleep. She’s not mad.”
“Still…she isn’t paying me to sleep in her office, Jen.”
“It’s one time babe. It’s ok. Shit happens. You’re fine, ok?” Jensen waited until Jared nodded. “Good. So how about we go back to my place and I fix you something to eat?”
“Sounds good,” Jared answered with a smile starting to creep up on his face. Jensen always knew how to make him feel better. He stood from the couch, stretching. His t-shirt rode up, revealing purpling skin along his torso. Jensen’s eyes locked on the bruised flesh. His hand flew out to move Jared’s shirt up more. It only revealed more damage that appeared to go all the way up towards his shoulders, explaining the whimper from earlier. “Jen?”
“What the hell happened, Jare?” Jensen just barely was able to keep the anger out of his voice.
“Nothing, Jen,” Jared said shakily. “Just fell.” Jensen reached up and moved the sleeve of Jared’s shirt. Another bruise wrapped around his bicep, clearly in the shape of someone’s hand. “Stop!”
“W-who did this Jay?”
“Jen, stop…it’s nothing. I-“
“Jared, I can see the marks…they’re from someone’s hand. Now who the hell touched you?”
“It was an accident. Just let go of me!” Jared’s voice had an edge of panic and his eyes were pleading. It was enough to make Jensen let go of him. As soon as his hand released Jared’s shirt, he fled from the room.
Jensen inwardly cursed before catching up to Jared outside by the car. “I’m sorry!”
“Jen-“
“I just don’t like you being hurt! You don’t deserve that! I just want to make it better.”
“Jen-“
“But I should’ve handled it better. So I’m sor-“
“Was my dad,” Jared muttered, barely above a whisper.
“Wh-what?” Jensen stammered. He couldn’t have heard that right. Sure, Jared’s parents weren’t the most loving individuals but they’d never…
“He just got a little drunk and carried away. It wasn’t a big deal. I could’ve stopped him if it had gotten out of hand.”
“And all those bruises mean it didn’t get out of hand?” Jensen asked in amazement.
“Been worse,” Jared whispered, casting his eyes to the ground. Before he even knew it, Jensen was pulling him towards his chest and hugging him tightly.
“Let’s go home, huh?”
Jared nodded against his chest before they pulled apart and climbed into the Impala. They were both silent as they drove home, but as soon as they pulled into the garage, Jensen couldn’t take it any longer. “Move in with me,” he blurted out.
“What?”
“I…I want you to move in with me. Was going to wait a couple months, but I’ve known for weeks that I wanted you to.”
“Jen if this is just because of my dad I-“
“No…it’s because I love you and want to be with you. I want you to be safe. I want to come home to you every night. I want-“ Before Jensen could finish the sentence Jared’s lips were latching on to his.
“Thank you Jen!”
“Jen! Hello…Earth to Jensen!”
“Wh?” Jensen blinked to bring himself out of his thoughts to find Katie handing him a pink box filled with the eclairs.
“Only been saying your name ten times…”
“Sorry! A little lost in thought.”
“Can see that…so what did ya do?”
“Excuse me?”
“Well, you ordered a ton of these babies…which are Jared’s favorite things…so you must have screwed up big time, buddy.”
Jensen scratched at the back of his head before digging his wallet out of his back pocket. “You have no idea,” he huffed. He handed over the bills. “Keep the change, Katie.”
“Thanks,” she smiled, “but you better fix things with our boy…or I’ll cut off your-“
“Got it! Got it!” Jensen grabbed the box. “Thanks…I’m going to go take care of it.” With that, he flashed her a quick smile and headed back to his car. He made his way through the traffic filled streets, crawling alongside everyone else hurrying home. Jensen just wanted to get home so he could make last night up to Jared.
After what felt like forever, he finally parked the car in the garage and ran towards the elevator. He didn’t even notice how Jared’s truck was gone…the one that he rarely drove. Instead, he bounded off towards their home.
“Jared!” he yelled once inside. He found it odd that the dogs didn’t run up to greet him, but brushed it off. “Jay!” He moved towards the kitchen and then to the den. No sign of Jared…
“Jay!” He then crossed the hall and entered their bedroom. Something was wrong…
Along the wall, Jared’s bookshelf was almost empty. The desk was missing its normal clutter of papers, textbooks, and syllabi. Jensen noticed the closet door slightly ajar. He ran to it and flung it open. Jared’s half was only hangers now.
“Oh God…”
Jensen ran from the bedroom and looked into each and every corner of the penthouse. Jared wasn’t in any of them…he wasn’t anywhere…
“No,” Jensen gasped. He ran back to the bedroom, searching through Jared’s desk until he found a tear stained note. His hands shook as he read.
Jen-
I’m really sorry but I can’t do this. It’s just…things have come up and this won’t work. I’m sorry. I love you and I can’t put you through this. We just can’t seem to agree on things and I hate that we are hurting each other. I don’t want us to grow to hate each other or become bitter. I never want to feel that way with you. You’ve done so much for me…you saved me from so much, Jen. You have no idea how much I love you and how important you are to me. I want to be able to always have that when I think of you. I love you. Goodbye.
Jensen let go of the note, letting it fall back onto the desk. His hand was gripping the back of the desk’s chair tightly. He suddenly flung the chair towards the wall. He didn’t stop there. He moved about the room, disrupted the nightstands and shattering a vase. He was blind with rage and pain, so much so that he didn’t realize what he was doing until he flung a picture of their wedding towards the wall. The glass of the frame shattered instantly. The picture slid out and landed in the mess on the floor.
Jensen looked down at it, tears filling in his eyes. He slid to the floor and pulled the picture onto his lap. He let the tears fall. He didn’t know what else to do.
Next Chapter -->
Masterpost
A/N:So this is my first attempt at mpreg so hopefully it isn’t too awful. I will have the last two chapters of Broken Angel up ASAP.