Gone Away Awhile 4/?

[moviegeek03]

Title: Gone Away Awhile 4/?
Pairing: Jared/Jensen
Word Count: ~7500
Rating/Warnings: NC-17 for sexual situations, MPREG, and medical/health problems
A/N: This story is based off a prompt by the amazing imogen_lily . Thank you so much for the gorgeous banner and for letting me play with this idea! I appreciate all the help and nudging sweetie!!! You are an amazing person to work with!
Summary: Jensen has it all…great job, lots of money, the love of his life…and NO kids, just the way he wants it. Everything seems perfect, until one night following a big fight Jensen comes home to find Jared has left, turning his world upside down. Four years down the line, he might finally find the answers to all his questions…in the form of two little boys who look a lot like him and Jared…

The hospital moved all around him. Machines and intercoms beeped and wheels clacked against the linoleum floor. The plastic of the chairs dug into his back painfully. His knee wouldn’t stop bouncing up and down nervously. He kept glancing towards the closed doors he’d seen Jared go through a while ago. To say the least, Jensen was a mess.

Hell, he’d been one for going on a week now. Seeing Jared and learning the truth had thrown him for a loop like nothing ever had before. He didn’t know what to think at this point. On one hand, he still had feelings for Jared, he always had. That had never gone away despite the bitterness and pain Jared had brought him when he left. But on the other hand, Jensen did have that pain and it led to fights, like the one they had had the previous night. With a sigh, Jensen hung his head and ran a hand over his face.

“Jensen!”

Jensen looked up to see a rather frazzled Sandy coming his way. “Hey,” he replied, sitting up a little straighter.

“What the hell happened? I was upstairs with my mom when I got a call saying Jared was down here?”

Jensen ran a hand over his face. “I don’t know…I went to talk to him and he just…collapsed…so…”

“God…”

“He was coughing really bad. There was blood and he just…went down. I barely grabbed him before he hit the floor.”

Sandy sank into the chair beside him. “Did you call JD?”

“Who? I don’t know a JD…”

“He’s the principal at our school,” Sandy sighed as she dug out her cell phone. “He has the twins in an afterschool program. JD will need to know that Jared isn’t coming to get them. He’ll just take them to his house for a while. His wife loves them.” She stopped talking to Jensen and started talking into her phone, giving details of what was going on to JD.

Jensen just nodded numbly. He hadn’t even thought about the boys and where they were or who they were with. It never occurred to him…he’d been too worried about Jared and their fight and the hospital…

“So, JD is going to take the boys with him. He’ll keep them ‘til one of us can go pick them up. I said I could…I mean…I guess I can leave my mom for the night.”

“I can get them,” Jensen suggested, still feeling a little guilty over forgetting about them in the chaos.

“No…I can do it Jen. “

“Sandy-“

“Just stop,” she sighed. “Why are you even still here? You don’t want to be apart of-“

“How the hell do you know that?” Jensen felt anger flare up, despite the fact that Sandy had been talking fairly calmly to him. “Why does everyone seem to think they can make up my mind for me? First Jared…now you! Screw it…you guys obviously don’t think I need to know shit so whatever.” He stood up and started pacing anxiously, his hands shaking.

“Jensen…I thought you didn’t want to be!”

“Well, I thought I didn’t but…”

“Jensen?” Sandy put her hand on his shoulder.

“I didn’t get the choice! He took that away from me and now I just don’t know what I want…”

Sandy squeezed his shoulder. “You’re going to have to decide pretty soon. You can’t just be in and out of their lives. It doesn’t work that way. I think that’s why Jared did what he did, you know? He was just scared you’d leave…that you wouldn’t want him and the kids around.”

“But I-“

“Jen…you two fought that night. It was still fresh in his mind.”

“I was frustrated and a little drunk!”

“And you said some really hurtful things. Brought up a lot of shit you shouldn’t have said.”

Jensen stiffened next to her. “He told you?”

“Yeah,” Sandy sighed. “He was pretty much a mess when he moved up here. He missed you so damn much. He ended up telling me everything.”

Jensen cast his eyes to the floor. “I didn’t mean to hurt him.”

“And he didn’t mean to hurt you…but you both ended up doing that to the other.”

“I know he’s not like his parents. I just…I really didn’t want kids…”

“What about now?”

“I don’t know.” Jensen ran a hand over his face and looked at Sandy. “I mean, they seem like great boys. I had fun babysitting…and I never have fun babysitting! But, I don’t know if I’m cut out to be a dad. I never have been…”

“Jared was scared too. He didn’t want to be like his parents were with him and Jeff. He didn’t want to turn into that. But he got past that. He became their father, and does a hell of a job at it.”

“Why are you doing this?” Jensen stood up and started pacing again. “You acted pissed off at me the other night and now you’re being all nice? What the hell Sandy? What do you want from me?”

“I want you to make your decision, Jen! You have two little boys that are already starting to adore you! You know what they talked about the whole time I was over with them this morning? You! Remy wouldn’t stop going on about your Impala and how he was going to drive it one day. Dimi started telling me some of the old stories…the ones Jared always tells him about you. They were quite taken with you.”

Jensen could feel his hands start to shake again. “I don’t like kids,” he weakly replied.

“Keep tellin’ yourself that,” Sandy said with an eye roll. “So…any news on Jay?”

“No…no one’s been out to say anything.”

“Then sit down. You’re going to make me nervous. I hate waiting on doctors…especially for Jay.”

Jensen’s brow furrowed. “You say that like it happens a lot.”

Sandy bit her lip and didn’t reply.

“Sandy?”

“Family of Jared Padalecki?” a young doctor called.

“Over here!” Sandy said as she stood.

The doctor offered a small smile. “Would you be Sandra McCoy?”

“Yes…and this is Jared’s…Jared’s husband Jensen.”

“He doesn’t have a husband listed on his records…”

“We’ve been separated for going on five years. We’re…we’re working on things at the moment,” Jensen added.

“I’m sorry…but I can’t divulge information regarding his condition to you. I can only discuss it my Ms. McCoy until I receive confirmation from Mr. Padalecki.”

“Are you kidding me?” Jensen snapped. “I came in with him! I was there when the paramedics came! You can ask them yourself!”

“Jared would want Jensen to know. They have been talking again. He needs to know too!” Sandy stood up for Jensen. She might have her issues with the man, but she knew he still cared for Jared, and was starting to care for the boys.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” Jensen retaliated harshly, his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides.

“You had better keep your attitude in check or I will have to call security,” the doctor retorted. “Then you will not have the chance for my patient to grant you access to updates.”

Jensen’s face turned red and he was about to say something else to the guy when a petite blonde came up behind the doctor. She grabbed the clipboard from his hands and smacked his arm with it.

“Stop being a dick, Alex,” the woman snapped.

“D-dr. Tal! I was just…I’m doing my job and-“

“And have some manners with my patient’s family. That’s apart of your job too, is it not?”

“Y-your patient?” he asked, dumbfounded.

“Yes,” Dr. Alona Tal said, doing her best not to roll her eyes. “If you had bothered to look at the rest of his files you’d know I’m his primary physician and will therefore be handling the case from here on out.” She turned towards Jensen and Sandy. “Sorry…he’s an intern and feels he has to prove himself. I would’ve been here sooner but I wanted to check in on Jared myself before coming to talk to you.”

Jensen and Sandy just looked at her, not really knowing what to say.

Alona turned back to Alex. “Run along…I’ll take care of this from here on out.”

“But…he can’t know about the case! He’s not listed on-“

“Who are you again?” Alona turned towards Jensen.

“Jensen Ackles…Jared and I are married but-“

“Have been separated for awhile. I know…I’ve treated Jared since he moved here.” She turned back to Alex. “And I also know Jared wants Jensen to know about his condition and would like to see him. If you’d stuck around him long enough you would’ve have known that yourself. He tried to get your attention. Isn’t his fault he can’t talk very loud where he’s so sick. You know to pay attention to patients. So…run along before I go to your supervisor…ok?”

Alex looked like he was going to argue but he caved and hurried away from them.

“Now,” Alona said as she flipped through the charts, “why don’t we move over to a more private area and I’ll fill you both in on Jay’s state.” She ushered them over to a small conference room and shut the door behind them. She motioned for Jensen and Sandy to sit before she continued. “So you’re the infamous Jensen?” she asked, not bothering to look up from Jared’s files.

“Yeah…I guess I am,” he replied skeptically.

“Nice to finally meet ya. Jared told me you two had been in contact again.”

“He did?” Sandy couldn’t help but interrupt.

“He called me this morning to set up an appointment. Told me he was feeling worse than he had been but didn’t think he needed a hospital. I asked him why he hadn’t come to see me sooner and he filled me in on Jensen.”

“Oh…so how is he?” Jensen asked, trying to draw the attention back to Jared and away from himself.

“He’ll live,” Alona assured. “He’s sporting a pretty nasty case of pneumonia right now. That’s why he coughed up blood earlier.”

“But…he said he just had a cold he couldn’t shake,” Sandy replied.

“And he probably thought he did. It could have easily started out as a cold and then progressed into this. Given Jared’s health…”

Jensen’s brow furrowed and he wanted nothing more than to ask what Alona meant by that. But she was going on more about Jared’s current state and he knew he had to listen.

“His fever is sitting around 102, which is a little higher than I’d like. He does have bacterial pneumonia unfortunately so we are giving him antibiotics through his IV for now. He’ll probably need to stay here for a couple days to get that started and to increase his O2 levels. They’re lower than I’d like, but I’m not surprised given his illness. We’ve got him on oxygen for now to help with that. Good news is he has been awake and lucid. He feels pretty bad, but that’s to be expected. He’s shivering and hurts. He’ll probably be that way for awhile though.”

“Can we see him?” Sandy asked.

“I don’t see why not…but only one at a time for right now. Don’t want him to get too worked up or anything.”

“Jen-“

“Go in first Sandy…I don’t want to get him worked up,” Jensen sighed. He did want to see Jared, but he didn’t want to make the man worse somehow.

Sandy smiled her thanks then got up to go to Jensen’s room. Alona showed Jensen back to the waiting room then took Sandy to Jared’s, leaving Jensen alone. He sighed and hung his head into his hands. He wanted to go see Jared more than anything, yet he was worried they would start fighting. Their dinner had gone so well…but the other night hadn’t. Jensen knew logically that Jared wouldn’t leave him with the boys like that, but he still got upset. He couldn’t help it. He felt all those feelings of hurt and loss come back until it built up and blew up when Jared got home.

His phone started buzzing in his pocket, drawing him out of his thoughts. He pulled it out and clicked it on. “Hello?”

“Jen! Hey…how’s the trip going?” his assistant, Genevieve, replied.

“Um…ok I guess.”

“That sounds reassuring,” she said sarcastically. “Couldn’t get the deal sealed?”
“No…finished it up already,” he sighed. He knew she’d keep digging until she got the truth out of him. It’s what made her a great assistant…and friend. “Got McLann to finally cave.”

“Then why do you sound like someone kicked your puppy, boss?”

Jensen bit his lip.

“Jensen? What’s going on?”

“Jared lives in Colorado now.”

“What?!? How’d you find out?”

“Works at the hotel you booked for me.”

“You’re shitting me?” she nearly shrieked in surprise. “That’s…wow! How…how are you?”

“I’m…I don’t know.”

“I bet…seeing him has to be a lot to take in.”

“You don’t know the half of it,” he huffed more to himself than her.

“What are you not telling me?”

“Gen…I just…” Sandy started walking over towards him. “I’ll call you later. I’ve gotta go.”

“Jen! Wait I wanted to warn you-“ Jensen clicked the phone off, not hearing the rest of her sentence.

“He wants you,” Sandy said once she reached him. “Asked for you.”

“H-how is he?”

“Pretty sick…but they’ve got him on the right stuff now. He’ll be fine.”

Jensen nodded but didn’t move to get up from the hard chairs.

“Go see him…I know you want to.”

“What if I make him worse?” Jensen blurted out.

Sandy nodded, figuring out quickly what was going on. “Jensen, I know Jared. He would’ve ended up here if you didn’t show up, trust me. He’s been feeling shitty for awhile and brushed it off. You didn’t make it worse by fighting with him last night. You two are going to fight…it’s inevitable right now. But doesn’t mean you two shouldn’t talk.”

Jensen thought it over for a moment. “You know…here I thought you hated me the other night.” He gave her a rather shy attempt at a smirk.

“Let’s just say I’m realizing how big of idiots you both are being and I don’t want you two to waste a chance at being happy…at making the boys happy.” Sandy pushed Jensen up out of the chair. “Now go see him. Pretty sure he’s fighting sleep so he can talk to you for a minute.”

“Ok…you going back up to your mom?”

“I will after you get back.”

Jensen headed towards the direction Sandy had come through minutes before. He wound his way through the halls, pausing only to ask for Jared’s room number. It only took him a few seconds before he found himself in front of Jared’s room. He paused to take a deep breath before stepping inside.

Jensen stopped dead in his tracks as his gaze fell on Jared. The younger man looked like he was asleep. His face was pale save for the red patches on his cheeks from the fever. His eyes were rimmed with dark smudges while his mouth was covered by the oxygen mask. Shivers ran through his frame despite the blankets covering him. He had various wires and tubes connected to him. All in all, Jared looked pretty rough.

Jensen finally stepped over towards the bed. His hand trembled as he took Jared’s into his own. Jensen gently squeezed Jared’s hand, and was surprised when he felt Jared squeeze back.

“Hey,” Jared weakly said. He tiredly blinked his eyes up at Jensen.

“Hey yourself,” Jensen replied sheepishly. He shifted nervously, but never let go of Jared’s hand. He needed the contact…in spite of everything. “How you feelin’?”

“Like crap,” Jared answered with a slight wince. He moved his free hand towards his chest and rubbed. “Sore…chest hurts. Coughing…sucks…”

“I bet.”

“T-thanks…for…you know…helping me.”

“Yeah…no need to thank me. Wish I’d known sooner. Would’ve brought you in the other day if I hadn’t…well…”

“Stop!” Jared stuttered out around some rather painful sounding coughs. “D-don’t do that. I should have come in d-days ago. N-not your fault.”

Jensen nodded and chewed on his lip. “Listen…about last night…”

“I probably deserved some of that,” Jared interrupted.

“And I probably should have worded it differently,” Jensen continued.

“It’s ok. You have every right to be pissed at me…to hate me.”

“I just…I don’t hate you,” Jensen replied softly. “I hate what you did…how you left…that you were going to keep my kids away from me forever…”

“Not forever,” Jared said huskily. “I…I always wanted you to meet them. Just kept chickening out. I’d…I’d write you a l-letter or pick up the phone then…” Jared waved his hand tiredly in front of him. “I just was so afraid of how you’d react.”

“I don’t know how I would’ve. Just wish I’d had the chance to know earlier.”

“I know…I’m sorry.”

“Me too.” Jensen reached up to push a few strands of hair away from Jared’s forehead. He hated the heat that radiated off Jared. “I think we need to try talking…not keep shit bottled up like we keep doing.”

“Would be smarter on our part,” Jared said around a yawn. His eyelids drooped for a moment before he struggled to open them back up. “S-sorry…”

“Don’t be,” Jensen quickly replied. “Get some sleep, Jare. I’ll come by in the morning.”

“Wh’ ‘bout boys?” Jared sleepily and weakly tried to push himself up in the bed. “They-“

“Are taken care of. I’m going to pick them up and take them back to your place. I’ll get a key from Sandy. Just rest and don’t worry about it.” Jensen pushed Jared back down onto the bed. Jared still couldn’t stop shivering, prompting Jensen to press the call button. A nurse appeared a moment later. “Could you bring him some more blankets, please?”

She glanced at Jared’s trembling form in the bed before hurrying off to gather up some more. It didn’t take long before she returned, but Jared was nearly asleep again.

“Just got them from the driver so they should be nice and warm.”

“Thanks,” Jensen said as he helped spread the blanket over Jared. Afterwards, she left. Jared’s shivering had dwindled and he had all but lost the battle with sleep. Jensen carded his fingers through Jared’s hair one last time before leaning down to press a kiss to his forehead. Jensen then silently crept out of the room and headed back into the waiting room. He found Sandy still sitting where he had left her; only she was now hanging up her cell phone.

“Hey,” she called to Jensen as he approached. “So Misha went ahead and took Jared’s car to pick up the twins since you didn’t have any car seats for them. He said he’ll stay with them at the apartment until you can get there.”

“Shit…hadn’t even thought about the car seats…”

“Jen, you’re new at this. You’ll get there.” Sandy smiled at him, and he never was more grateful. “We all forget things and make mistakes.”

Jensen nodded. “Thanks.”

“So is Jared asleep?”

“Yeah…got one of the nurses to bring him in some more blankets. He was exhausted.”

“I bet,” she sighed. “Well, I’m going to head back up to my mom’s. If you need anything, just call. I’m going to spend the night with Mom upstairs, but feel free to call.”

“Ok…thanks again.”

Sandy offered a small smile before taking off towards the elevator. Jensen stood there for a moment trying to collect himself before he did the same. Once outside, he realized he didn’t have his rental car with him…he’d ridden in the ambulance with Jared. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw a cab sitting off to the side with its lights on.

It didn’t take long for the cab to pull up in front of Jared’s apartment building. He could see Jared’s car parked in the lot as he stepped out from the cab. He tossed the driver a few bills before hurrying into the building. He was glad Sandy had given him a spare key to the front door. He took the stairs two at a time until he finally reached Jared’s door. He really wished Sandy had given him a key to it as well.

Jensen knocked and waited for a moment before Misha opened the door. He looked tired and frazzled…definitely not thrilled at seeing Jensen at the door.

“Hey,” Jensen greeted unsurely, shifting on his feet.

“Jensen,” Misha replied, still standing in the doorway and effectively blocking Jensen’s entrance.

“You going to let me in?”

“You can go back to the hotel…the boys are already in bed. I can stay.”

Jensen’s brow furrowed. “Um…appreciate the offer but I promised Jared-“

“And suddenly that means something?”

“Excuse me?” Jensen gaped. “What the hell does that mean?”

“You haven’t been around in over four years and now I’m supposed to trust you?” Misha crossed his arms. “Don’t think so.”

“Look…I told Jared I’d stay here. He’s expecting me-“

“And I’m sure he expected you to step it up four years ago and not be a jerk. I mean, you left your kids and-“

“I didn’t-“

“Do you have any clue how it feels?!? You had a perfect family.” Jensen looked confused. “I’ve read about your company and family…pretty damn near perfect parents. Two parents…right?” Jensen nodded, still a little baffled at where this was going. “Well, then you don’t understand! I’ve been there…I know what’s it like to not have your dad around. It’s pretty shitty…knowing you’ve been abandoned! So just go back to your posh hotel suite and don’t screw with the boys’ heads! You’re only going to leave again!”

Misha went to shut the door in Jensen’s face but Jensen put his weight against it, keeping it open. “I get that you think I’m this piece of shit father and you are sticking up for your friend.” He leaned closer to Misha. “But don’t you dare accuse me of abandoning my family! Jared’s the one who walked out the door and didn’t tell me I even had a family.”

“But-“

“I may have made him feel like he needed to do that, but that was never my intentions. I didn’t want to try to have kids…and I said some shit I shouldn’t have. But that doesn’t mean I wanted him gone…that I don’t want to be around now. So get your facts straight before you start spouting off every damn accusation you can come up with…got it?”

“Look I-“

“Jensen?” a soft little voice said from off to the side.

Jensen and Misha both turned to see the twins standing in the hall with red-rimmed eyes. Remy was clutching a blanket in his hands while Dimitri had his stuffed puppy.

“What are you two still doing up?” Misha gently asked.

“We heard voices,” Remy answered.

“Thought it was Daddy,” Dimitri added dejectedly.

“I’m sorry guys,” Misha replied. He moved from the door and over to the twins. Jensen followed behind him. Misha knelt down to be on their level. “I told you earlier. Your daddy isn’t feeling too good right now so he’s staying at the hospital so the doctors can make him feel better.”

“No...Daddy wouldn’t go away again! He promised!” Dimitri responded as his eyes filled with unshed tears. “He wouldn’t do it again!”

“Dimi,” Misha started.

“No!” Dimitri started to head towards the door, hell bent on finding Jared himself. Jensen easily scooped him up and held him against his chest. Dimitri struggled, but Jensen never loosened his grip on the child. “Let me down!”

“Sorry, kid.” Jensen pulled him closer into his chest, ignoring the wayward kicks and fumbling shoves. “Calm down Dimitri.”

“No! Daddy promised! He wouldn’t be taken away again! They can’t have him again,” the little boy choked out between tears and little sobs.

“Shh…Ja-Daddy will be home in a few days.”

“B-but they took him again!”

Jensen looked over towards Misha, who had Remy in his arms now, for answers. “Jay and Dimi had the flu real bad last year. Jared ended up having to call an ambulance for himself. Dimi saw the whole thing and had to be held by the paramedics. Remy wasn’t sick so he was out with Sandy…he didn’t see any of it. Dimitri’s had some nightmares and all from it,” Misha sadly added. He picked up Remy and brought him over to the couch to sit down on his lap. Jensen did the same with Dimitri.

Dimitri was clutching and Jensen tightly and sniffling into his shirt. “Dimi,” Jensen said softly after sitting down next to Misha. “Your daddy didn’t want to go, but it was the best thing for him…both then and now. Do you…uh…ya know what germs and stuff are?”

“Make you sick,” he replied around a sniffle.

“We learned ‘bout them in school,” Remy added proudly.

“That’s good,” Jensen responded. “Well, your dad has some really nasty germs that are trying to live in his lungs. The doctors are trying to make sure that they are all packed up and on their way out before he can come home.”

“When will that be?”

“Just a few days. The doctor said that he should be home in a few days, kid.”

“So it’s not forever?” Dimitri asked with a slight tremor still in his voice. Remy was looking at Jensen with big eyes as he waited for an answer.

“Of course not.” He hugged Dimitri close to his chest; Misha did the same with Remy. “You just have to put up with me for a few days until Daddy gets home. Think you boys can do that?”

They both nodded sadly, still upset that Jared wouldn’t be home that night.

“Come on munchins,” Misha said. “You two should be in bed. You have school tomorrow morning.” Misha stood with Remy in his arms and Jensen followed suit with Dimitri.

“But we can’t sleep,” Remy protested miserably. “We can’t sleep without Daddy!”

“How about I read you a story then?” Misha offered.

“Don’t wanna story,” Remy pouted. Dimitri agreed.

“Want me to sing to ya?” Jensen suggested.

“O-ok,” both boys said.

“Fine…but you gotta get under the covers.”

“C-could we sleep in Daddy’s bed?” Dimitri asked softly. “Please?”

Jensen looked to Misha, who nodded. “Ok…come on.” They hauled the little boys into Jared’s room and tucked them under his blankets. They snuggled into his pillows that smelled like his soap and shampoo. Sadie and Harley looked up from their places at the foot of the bed before curling around the boys as well.

“Is that better?” Misha asked.

“Thank you,” the twins answered together.

“Alright,” Jensen continued. He turned off the lights and tucked the twins in better. He then started humming the melody to “Let it Be” and singing the lyrics. He barely got through the first chorus before the boys dropped off to sleep, still clutching Jared’s pillows in their tiny hands.

Misha gave them one last look before running a hand tiredly over his face. He headed out of the room, motioning for Jensen to follow. They made it to the living room and plopped down onto the couches. “You’re good with them,” Misha said quietly.

“So I’ve been told,” Jensen replied, still not sure he believed that he was actually good with little kids.

“They like you. They’re normally not big fans of the guys in Jared’s life.”

“They seem to like you.”

“Well, I’ve been there since they were born.”

Jensen couldn’t help the pang of jealously that ran through him. It was surprising. Jensen didn’t know he could feel jealous over something he didn’t think he ever wanted…

“And doing this never gets any easier,” Misha continued. He laid his head onto the back of the couch.

“What?”

“Explaining to them that Jared isn’t leaving them when he’s gone to the hospital…”

“So this happens a lot?” Jensen asked with concern.

“It…shit,” Misha cursed. “It isn’t my place to tell you…Jay will. But yeah, he’s been in there a couple times since having the twins. He’ll tell you when he’s ready…if you stick around I guess.”

“I’m not the one who left! I don’t know how many more time I have to say that!”

“I know…but something made Jared leave and-“

“One stupid fight!” Jensen stood from his place on the couch and started pacing. “I let my mouth get the better of me and then he found out he was pregnant and then he left!”

“Don’t think it was that simple, Jensen.”

“I said some shit about how I didn’t want to be a parent…how not everyone is cut out to be one. I wasn’t! I’m not…I…”

Misha was silent for a moment before he stood. He smiled softly at Jensen. “Dude, did you not just see yourself in there? Pretty sure you’re cut out to be a father. I’ve seen some shitty fathers and they don’t normally sing their kids to sleep.”

“But I’m not good with most kids!”

“Well, Remy and Dimitri aren’t most kids,” Misha laughed. “And they also happen to be your own kids. That makes it different.” Misha grabbed his jacket from the back of the couch and snagged a post it note from the table. “Hope you figure that out for yourself.” He stuck the note to Jensen shirt. “My number if you need me. Just call.” With that, Misha left Jensen alone with the boys.

Jensen stuck the note to the table before lying down on the couch. He rubbed his hands into his eyes. He had no idea what he was going to do…

***********

Jensen didn’t understand how Jared could do everything on his own. After just four days with the twins, Jensen was completely baffled at how Jared had been doing it by himself for four years. Sandy and Misha kept saying Jensen was doing fine and that the boys were warming up a lot to him, but he was still exhausted and struggling through the simple tasks. It probably didn’t help that the boys hadn’t seen Jared the entire time.

Jensen had talked with the staff and Alona, but the visitors’ policy was pretty strict. The twins were still too young to be allowed into the unit. Plus, the doctors really didn’t want to risk Jared picking up more germs from the boys, who had been at school everyday. So that left Jensen with two very moody and sullen little boys who just wanted Jared.

Remy and Dimitri did enjoy being with Jensen, they really did. But they couldn’t fully enjoy it when they were constantly worrying over and wanting Jared. Jensen dealt with it as best as he could. Sometimes that meant staying up half the night…and sometimes that meant splurging on a new toy to get a smile.

Today things would get better, hopefully at least. Jensen glanced at his watch then back up at the traffic around him. The weatherman had broadcasted a forecast of snow, so everyone was out rushing to get groceries and all in case it proved right. Jensen looked up at the sky…it didn’t look like snow. He sighed and finally was able to pull into the hospital parking lot.

He jumped out of Jared’s car and dodged other cars and a few wheelchairs to make it inside. He went up the elevator and reached Jared’s room in minutes, waving to the nurses he had befriended on the way. He knocked against the door before entering. “Hey,” he called to Jared.

“Hey yourself,” Jared said a little breathlessly. He was sitting up in bed, still tired and pale looking. Alona had said it would take at least two more weeks for Jared to recover from his case of pneumonia, during which Jared would not be allowed to work or go to campus.

“You feeling ok?” Jensen walked over and palmed Jared’s forehead to check for a fever. He was still warm, but nowhere near as bad as he had been a few days ago.

“I’m ok,” Jared sighed, batting Jensen’s hand away. “You’re being a mother hen.”

“Well, you’re still sick. So you’re going to have to put up with it,” Jensen replied with a smirk. Inside he was still anxious. He couldn’t help but be a mother hen after having Jared collapse into his arms.

Jared must have picked up on the undertones of Jensen’s emotions because he didn’t comment any further. “How are the boys?”

“Missing you but good. Took me forever to get them to go with Sandy this morning to school. They wanted to stay home so they could come pick you up with me. Knew you’d kill me if I let them miss school.” Jensen smiled a real smile this time.

“Damn straight,” Jared half chuckled and half coughed. “Besides, by the time I get home and all, they won’t be that far behind.”

“Yeah, that’s what I told them.”

“Excuse me boys,” a nurse said as she walked in. “I have Jared’s meds and paperwork ready if you feel like getting out of here soon.”

“Definitely,” Jared sighed. He was sick of the hospital and wanted to crawl into his own bed, preferably with the twins.

“Alright,” the nurse smiled. “Why don’t you take these, Jensen?” She handed over the bag of medicines and home care instructions. She then handed Jensen the proper forms to sign Jared out of the hospital and into his care. “You work on those while I help your boy get in some proper clothes.” She sent Jensen a wink and started helping Jared out of bed.

The younger man sent Jared a look, whether from the fact that the nurse had called him Jensen’s “boy” or because she was going to help him get dressed, Jensen didn’t know. Jensen was hoping it was the latter. “Actually, how about I help him get dressed then I’ll finish these while he takes a rest? Might be better for him?”

Jensen smiled when Jared breathed an obvious sigh of relief as the nurse stepped back out.

“Thanks, Jen. I’m kinda tired of having the nurses see my bare ass every time I move. Pretty sure a few of them wanted to pinch it.” He punctuated the sentence with an exaggerated shudder.

“Can’t blame them,” Jensen muttered without thinking. He panicked Jared would become aggravated with him, but the younger man only laughed and smiled.

“I’ll remember that next time you are stuck in here and have all the nurses fawning over you. Remember that time you broke your leg?”

“How could I forget?!?” Jensen scoffed. “That nurse groped me the whole time!”

“She…that was probably just what you thought. You were seriously high.”

“Whatever,” Jensen grumbled, even though he was enjoying the banter. “Should stop talking. Gonna lose your breath, bud.”

Jared nodded, already feeling out of breath. It took a little longer than Jensen had wanted for them to make it into the bathroom. He helped Jared sit down on the closed toilet before handing over some of Jared’s clothes. “Let me, uh, help,” Jensen said as he held up the pair of boxers. He felt awkward and unsure of how he should do it.

“Jen, you’re fine. I know all this has gotta be weird, but…isn’t like you haven’t seen me before you know.”

“I know…but…I just…”

“Hey, Jen,” Jared said huskily. “Thanks for all this. I really appreciate it. I mean, after everything I-“

“Don’t have to thank me, Jay. I mean, I’m still upset about what happened. But it’s in the past. Think we have too much other stuff to focus on.”

“Definitely.” Jared coughed into his arm. “Um, how about you just slide those up to my thighs. Should be able to get it from there. I’m not a complete invalid.”

“Sure.” Jensen slid the boxers up to Jared’s thigh and then allowed him to pull them up the rest of the way himself. Jared then had Jensen help him pull on a pair of thick sweats. He took off the drafty hospital gown while Jensen grabbed a t-shirt and hoodie from the bag. By the time Jensen turned around with them, Jared was already shivering. Jensen couldn’t help but pause as he neared Jared though. Despite the overall sick look, Jared’s tone chest was still a sight to behold. Jensen wanted to stare longer, but his eyes noticed the ugly looking scars that wrapped around Jared’s abdomen.

“Jen? You ok? I’m kinda fr-freezing here,” Jared stuttered.

“Wh-Oh! Sorry, Jay.” Jensen quickly helped pull the shirt on over Jared’s head and followed it up by tugging on the hoodie.

“Thanks,” Jared coughed out.

“Come on…you can rest in the bed while I go turn in the paperwork.”

Jared nodded and allowed Jensen to guide him back to the bed. Within seconds, Jared was dozing lightly. Jensen wanted to push up his shirt to get a better look at those scars, but he refrained, knowing it would probably startle Jared. Instead he went to handle the rest of the signing out. He pushed the images to the back of his mind and hurried out to the desk.

After a little while, Jared was bundled up in the car with Jensen in the driver’s seat. A few snowflakes were falling onto the windshield and Jensen had the heat cranked all the way up. Even though Jared was the sick one, Jensen looked like he was colder.

“You ok over there?”

“Y-yeah,” Jensen replied, shivering slightly.

“Dude…how are you still cold? I’m not even that bad and I’ve done nothing but shiver the past week.”

“H-hate cold weather. Why do you think I live in Texas?”

“Because your parents live there and your family company that you run is based there?”

“Well…that is a part of it,” Jensen huffed. “But it’s warm!”

“We had that snow back in-“

“And you know I was a miserable bastard for that week.”

“You were,” Jared laughed. He leaned against the car door a little. “But it was nice. I remember I ended up out of classes for the week. You took off work.” Jared took a deep breath. “We got up to the ranch before it got too bad. Was so nice…”

“It was,” Jensen readily agreed.

“The boys love the snow,” Jared continued on, trying not to get lost in memories. “Granted, around here we can get drifts bigger than them.”

“And I bet that doesn’t stop them from running into them.”

“Aww…I see you’ve picked up on their daredevil ways.”

“Yeah,” Jensen scoffed. “Fell asleep on the couch one night and woke up to Remy trying to jump off the back of it and onto Harley’s back. Said he saw a cowboy do it with a horse on TV and Dimitri had told him Harley was as big as a baby horse…”

“Oh…why does that not surprise me...”

“Well, it about gave me a heart attack.”

“Your mom is going to laugh her ass off when she hears about that. She used to tell me all those stories about you and the stupid shit you did as a kid.”

“Yeah, she will,” Jensen smiled.

“Um…have you told them? You know…about the boys?”

Jensen pulled into the parking lot and parked in Jared’s space. “Not yet. I told Gen I’d found you, so I wouldn’t be surprised if they knew about that. But…I haven’t told them about the twins.”

“Oh…”

“Jay, I want to. I promise. I just…haven’t figured out a way to yet.”

“They’re gonna hate me,” Jared said softly.

Jensen squeezed Jared hand. “Look, I don’t hate you. And I’m the one who probably would. So, I think they’ll be ok. Besides, mom hasn’t stopped talking about how much she misses you.”

“I’m sorry.”

“I know, and so will they. Come on, let’s get you upstairs before it starts snowing harder.”

Jensen climbed out of the car and led Jared into the building. The snow was really coming down hard and had started to accumulate on the ground. They reached Jared’s floor within a few minutes though.

“Daddy!” two little voices all but squealed as Jensen opened the door for Jared. The twins wrapped their arms around Jared’s legs and hugged them for dear life.

“Hey!” Jared’s face broke out in a huge smile and he leaned down to hug his boys properly. “I’ve missed you two so much!” His throat felt thick with emotions. He’d never gone that long without seeing his sons.

“Missed you too,” Remy quickly said.

“Bunches!” Dimitri added.

Sandy appeared from around the corner and smiled at the sight. “Hey…school ended up shutting down early. They were worried about the busses and the roads. So I figured it would be a nice surprise for you.”

“Thank you.” Jared pulled them closer to his chest and held on tight. He tried to stifle a few coughs that worked through his chest, but before long he couldn’t.

“Why don’t we let your daddy get into bed?” Jensen moved towards the twins. “He’s still needs lots of rest.”

“But-“ the twins tried to object.

“You two can come in and take a nap with me if you want,” Jared offered. “Bet you are pretty tired from school, huh?” The boys nodded. “And I bet you two would help me sleep a lot better.”

The twins nodded with more enthusiasm and started tugging on Jared to go to the bedroom.

“Daddy, are you still sick?” Dimitri asked.

“Yeah, baby, I am,” Jared admitted around a cough.

“We’ll make you better!” Remy stated with determination.

“Think we’ve got two little nurses here,” Jensen laughed. The boys glared a little at being laughed at, but Jared just smiled. It was nice to be home.

***********

Jared awoke with a groan and a painful cough. He turned to face the clock, surprised to see that the bed was empty and that it was a little after midnight. He coughed again before climbing out of bed. He wrapped a blanket around his shoulders before padding into the hallway. He glanced into the twins’ bedroom. They were both sound asleep in their bunk beds. He then decided to head into the kitchen for a glass of water. As he passed the living room, he saw Jensen tossing and turning on the small couch. He looked as if he was about to roll off into the floor.

Instead of going into the kitchen, Jared went over to Jensen’s side. “Jen?” He shook Jensen’s shoulders gently. “Wake up…”

“Mmmm…Jay? Wh’? What are you doing out of bed?” Jensen sat up with a wince.

“Got up for water. You looked like you were going to fall off the couch.”

“Yeah…damn thing is lumpy.”

“Is what happens when two boys see the Olympics and decide it would make a great trampoline.”

“They need to stop watching TV,” Jensen groaned.

“Yeah…like that’ll happen,” Jared huffed around another cough.

“You should go back to bed. I’ll bring you some water.” Before Jared could protest, Jensen was already off the couch and headed into the kitchen. Jared shuffled back into his room and crawled into bed. “Here,” Jensen said once he arrived with a bottle of water. “You need anything else?”

“Yeah…for you to not try to sleep on that couch. You’re gonna hurt your back, Jen.”

“Where do you suggest I sleep?” Jensen asked tiredly.

Jared bit his lip then pulled back the covers on the other side of the bed…the same side Jensen used to always sleep on and that Jared could never sleep on himself.

“Jay-“

“It’s fine, Jen. There’s plenty of room and we are both exhausted. Come on…”

Jensen wanted to put up more of a fight, but Jared looked so sick and tired that he couldn’t. And his back really was killing him…

“Fine,” Jensen relented. He put the water bottle on the nightstand and got into the other side of the bed. He grabbed the blankets and fixed them back of Jared again. “Get some more sleep.”

“You too,” Jared mumbled as his eyes slid shut.

Jensen stayed awake for a little longer, just looking over at Jared. He reached over, pushing Jared’s hair from his face and checking for fever. He finally laid back and shut his eyes as well. Sleep came faster than it had in years, as if having Jared beside him made all the difference in the world. It felt like he was finally whole again. Part of him was scared to death by that…the part of him that still kept saying that Jared would just leave again. But another part of him…that part of him just enjoyed it too much to worry at the moment.

Next Chapter -->
Masterpost

A/N: I apologize for the wait! I had finals and then some family Christmas stuff going on. I hate making you all wait for so long :\. I hope you enjoyed the chapter though and I promise to not take forever again with the next!