(Untitled)

Apr 15, 2005 20:37


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Comments 16

serenitysea April 16 2005, 01:55:44 UTC
As the bell rung, Veronica had just tossed her items into her messenger bag and walked out the door when suddenly a pair of lips was on her and she was being furiously kissed.  By Logan Echolls.  Again.

With his tongue in her mouth and hands in her hair and her bag slightly digging into her back, Veronica hit her head on the trophy case and gasped for needed air.

“What.  The.  Hell.”

Loved this because it is as it should be. :D

And also loved the description of his car in the beginning. Excellently done.

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mystripedskirt April 16 2005, 18:09:18 UTC
Thank you so much for reviewing. It's very helpful to me!

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mystripedskirt April 16 2005, 18:09:51 UTC
I'm getting there! Hee thank you. You being one of my favorite V/L writers means a lot that you commented. I'm still squeeing. Omfg.

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violetmist2003 April 16 2005, 02:52:17 UTC
Instead, she sarcastically greeted, “Well, well, Logan certainly has grown up,” then, with more perk than a cheerleader on sugar-free Red Bull, “hi Veronica. It’s so good to see you. You dirty little kids. Sex takes place in the bedroom.”Trina! I'm glad you included her, since she's not mentioned often. I love her character.

Nicely written. Heh, and I could totally imagine Logan twiddling his thumbs after kissing her.

Just a bit of constructive criticism. These lines..
To which Veronica retorted, “Sure. You probably knew she’d be here. I never wanted to screw Duncan over. Actually, I have a boyfriend. Oh, God. Leo.”

As she too ran off, Logan glanced down at his hard-on.
..seemed a bit rushed. They were making out one second, and even the mention of Duncan doesn't scare her off, but then she suddenly thinks of Leo and flees? I think a slower transition would make that part perfect.

Again, really well-written. Another bit of LoVeliness to add to my day =).

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mystripedskirt April 16 2005, 18:11:51 UTC
I love Alyson Hannigan more than a fat kid loves cake. (I stole this appropriately from a VM fic I read yesterday. Hee.)

Thank you for the constructive criticism; I'll definitely keep it in mind. I think I was more on the thought that Veronica would be scared of cheating. Ah thank you again though.

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violetmist2003 April 16 2005, 19:25:47 UTC
Hee, I read that fic too! And yes, I do love Aly [and Willow], so I can't hate Trina. Plus, I don't think she's bitchy [as many say], but just snarky.

Yeah, Veronica couldn't cheat with a clean conscience. But I'm assuming Leo will be out of the picture soon ;).

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mystripedskirt April 16 2005, 19:36:25 UTC
Please. I can't even fantasize without Jason Dohring. Thank you VM and Rob Thomas (SARCASM LIKE WHOA).

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lizie_muffy April 16 2005, 03:53:20 UTC
really liked this :)

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mystripedskirt April 16 2005, 18:12:00 UTC
Thank you darling.

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yama_neko April 16 2005, 03:59:47 UTC
"Logan smirked, feeling more and more like one Lex Luthor ever so instantly. Keith Mars was going to enjoy this one. And then his daughter was going to murder him. Logan couldn’t wait."

Wait..I'm comfused. What was that about? What's Keith gonna enjoy? Tel me! *whines*

*Sighs* I guess I can wait till the next chapter. (Lol.)

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mystripedskirt April 16 2005, 18:12:52 UTC
Even if Keith says he's okay with Leo, we all know he's not. Logan is still effing snarky.

Aw thank you.

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