And I Wondered Why It Burned ♣Part 8 'Part 2' ♣
I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm doing, I don't know what I'm doing.
The town at night was desolate and Masaomi felt fun to pretend it was because him and Aoba were the only survivors in the end of the world.
But tonight was no laughing matter. Their friend had something precious taken away from him, something that he could never get back and the only thing that they could offer was some sort of vengeance.
When he told Aoba this, the child's pace slowly comes to a halt and looks at Masaomi with a cold look.
" This is not vengeance, this is retribution."
[ Violence never solves anything, the elder Masaomi and Aoba now know, but everything is much more easier to swallow when you can't think. When you can't hear.]
Unlike Masaomi, Aoba knew exactly what he was doing. His mind was set because he forget the feeling of guilt a long time ago. When he burned down his elder brother's room was when he decided to reject humanity. Therefore, if all of humanity exists to cause pain, reproduce , eat and sleep then he wanted no part of it. If he had to go back to take the mental and physical abuse from his brother then he would just die. Because he had suffered all of those things, he saw it only as fair for others to suffer like he had suffered. Aoba was clinging to Mikado, because he thought Mikado was out of his reach, incorruptible.
He wanted it back. ( Just like the time when he and his elder brother didn't hate one another. The time where they would sit together and play marbles or even Nintendo.)
On the other hand Masaomi did not know where he was running to. He didn't think , he just did . And only half way there did he realize that what he was doing was stupid, and what in the hell was he even thinking of accomplishing once inside? He felt just like the 'old him' the lost kid with the yellow scarves. He was just a kid. Now that he thought about it Mikado would complain to him about that often, that he was never thinking about what he was doing. He glanced at the moldy bars in front of him as Aoba had already begun to climb them.
" I can't move." Masaomi said suddenly.
" What do you mean you can't move?" The dark haired boy called to him from the other side of the gate. His eyes told the other that he was irritated and impatient. " Stop joking around and hurry it up."
" I'm being serious." His voice was soft and desperate. " I can't move..I'm scared. I don't know what I'm doing here!"
It was quiet for a few minutes until a sigh was heard.
" You can't move or do you not want to? You know what you're here to do, but you're just a coward. You're like a dog Masaomi. Even when you were gang leader all you had was your bark and no bite."
" You assho-" The blond's eyes went wide as he saw a shadow approaching the other from behind. It was a tall figure, and in it's hands were a long object, presumably something dangerous. " Aoba look out!"
The other boy sprung into action, taking out a knife from his cardigan's pocket as he did so. As soon as he did this, he was pulled into the shadows . Away from Masaomi's sight.
The other began to panic, and without much thought ran upwards the bars. He fell on to the ground with a loud 'thump', not caring if that fall hurt his backside.
" Aoba!" he screamed toward nothing. When he looked in front of him, the house was surrounded by trees and bushes. The pathway led to the mansion's main door. Then something changed within him.
He looked at his feet for a while, his eyes seemed lost, then slowly, focusing his eyes he looked straight to the door and ran towards it. He would help Mikado by himself, he didn't need Aoba! But why was he acting so selfish right now? Weren't he and Aoba friends? Was he a bad person for being too scared to look for him? He thought these things as his feet became closer and closer to the door until-
-he was hit on the head by a pipe.
" What are you doing here ,runt? Didn't your parents ever teach you not to trespass?"
It was a tall , big man that was wearing a suit. He looked like a regular bodyguard for just about any star. His hands were both handling a crowbar, raising it high above his head ( not even waiting for an answer.)
Masaomi's brain couldn't keep up with his mouth and he began to stutter, trying to form words from his lips. But no words came, especially not after the man began to gasp, and then violently cough up blood. He regurgitated for a split second his saliva and blood, but soon landed a few feet away from the blond . There was a knife on the man's back, and the boy scrunched his face in confusion.
"Aoba?"
Aoba was standing tall above the man, his clothes were torn and he had a bruise at the edge of his mouth. His eyes were stone as he took out his knife from the body on the ground.
" You..you killed him." A statement and nothing more.
The other boy stayed silent as he cleaned the blood on his shirt.
" You murderer."
Masaomi knew he was being hypocritical , since this was probably not the worst thing he'd done to someone while in the Yellow Scarves. ( But even so he wanted to make the other feel bad, just like he felt.)
" No," the other boy began. " I'm a lifesaver. I just saved your life." He went up to the body, kicked it so it would face upwards. " He had a gun and he wouldn't hesitate to shoot you. I know this because the other who grabbed me was about to do the same thing to me. Now get up, let's go inside."
" What happened to the other man?"
" I stabbed him."
They both looked at each other, and finally, the other boy rose. The blond moved some of his hair away from his face, blood trickling down his forehead like rain.
" Is he dead?"
"Probably" Aoba said this like he was making a comment about the weather.
" That's what you think."
Both of the boys jumped at the same time, quickly gaining a protective stance. They looked toward the voice and saw another bodyguard wearing the same outfit as the other one had. The man was limping , a gun in hand while with his other patted the wound in his stomach . All his fury was directed to the younger of the duo, who just stared looking shocked and pale."I'll kill you punk, you and your little friend."
Aoba inwardly cursed himself for his stupidity, why didn't he take his gun away while he had the chance? If he didn't think of something fast he would die right here, at the age of sixteen. He hadn't even said goodbye to his Sempai yet, much less declare his feelings for him. And here he was, going to die with this stupid coward that doesn't even know who he is.
[ But I do not regret it.]
A blink was all it took. It was all it took for the other man with a pistol to be dead. In that short time, Masaomi charged unmercifully, knocking the elder man down. The gun fell to their sides but Masaomi did not reach for it. He merely raised his bat and brought a collision right at the back of the man's head.
A second was all it took for the man to lay on the floor unconscious. A minute passed and Aoba reached forward, raising his hand to the man's neck. After a while he announced. " He's dead."
There were many things Masaomi felt in that moment, and sadly, guilt wasn't one of them. It was ' Good thing that wasn't me right now." More like relief.
" Looks like you aren't as useless as I thought you were."
The other shot him a dirty look. " Shutup. Let's just go inside already."
The two boys accelerated onto the house, passing by portraits and long winds of stairs. Everything looked like it was worth more than them, and they wondered around for a bit until Aoba pointed upwards.
" Kasuka said Sempai only remembers running down the stairs right? So the person who did 'that' to him must be up there. I'm assuming he's the owner of this place."
Masaomi nodded, but before his feet touched a step he looked at Aoba in hesitance.
" Are we going to kill him too?"
But the other only gave him an exasperated look and said -
" What do you think? He deserves it. Sempai is going to live with this his whole life. He has lived with his illness, his mother's death, he doesn't even have a father and not to mention his grandparents are old. They'll leave him soon too."
Masaomi couldn't retaliate because he knew it to be true.
" But I'll make sure I won't go anywhere. We're the only ones that he has left and you don't want to do something as petty as this? You were with the Yellow Scarves a while ago because you wanted a place to belong didn't you?"
They both continued to talk as they both went up the stairs.
" Mikado can be that place if you let him."
"No, No, you..." Masaomi began to shake his head, slowly and frigidly. "You don't really love Mikado do you?" he said this carefully as if he were trying to make sense of what he had just said.
But the other became offended, and quickly sprung upwards. Proclaiming his devotion. "Of course I love Sempai!"
"No, you're lying." Masoaomi whispered this, as his eyes suddenly turned to light.
"I am not." The other had his arms crossed in front of his chest, while the blond was at the top of the stairs . He looked down at Aoba (more than usual ) and opened his mouth.
"Yes, you are. You..don't love Mikado for what he is, you love him for what he could be. Your trying to push your feelings on to him without thinking about what he wants ! And if all you are doing is that, then all you're being is just a burden to him!"
Aoba took a few steps backward, and then Masaomi realized how easy it would be to push him off the stairs.
"That was the case in the beginning Masaomi. It's different now. " He paused. " You're may be right about me trying to push myself on him. He just..he just made it so easy. He made it easy for me to talk to him, to want to tell him my fears and thoughts. It's true that I wanted him to hear me, but what I wanted above everything else was for just about anyone to listen me. It could have been someone else, anyone would have been fine. But I chose Sempai. I chose him. Because he chose me first." Aoba began walking closer up the stairs, reaching towards Masaomi's place. " I want Sempai to have all of me. I want him to accept everything about me. Even if my parents don't, I know he will. You're right, that I at first wanted him to be someone else, but what Sempai turned out to be was some thing much greater." They were on the same step now. " You aren't anyone to accuse someone of being selfish. You know what I'm talking about. Even within our group, you are always the one choosing our destinations. You always have to choose what movie we're going to see. We are not the Yellow Scarves Masaomi. It's like you're blind to everyone else's pain. Whenever you want to go somewhere, you always make Sempai go whether he wants to or not. And you know what? He follows you, Masaomi. He always follows you ,you son of a bitch."
The other was already crying, blubbering even. His hands were shaking as he held the knife. Pointing it at Masaomi's throat.
Masaomi didn't say anything, just noticing how long the stairs was.
" Mikado..." This was the first time Aoba had referred to him as anything else besides " Sempai". " Mikado adores you, do you know that? He loves you very much, and I don't see why. I'll always be second won't I? You don't deserve how much faith he has in you!"
Before Masaomi could reply a gun shot was heard all around the house.
The two boys scurried behind any piece of furniture available to them, opting to hide near a vase. The room in front of them was emitting strange sounds, many footsteps. It sounded like there were quite a couple of people in that sole room. 'That must be from where the gunshot was heard' Aoba thought, and he was right. He nudged the boy in the white sweater roughly, pointing toward the door in front of them. They both tiptoed across to lay behind the door.
Another gunshot was heard accompanied by mummers and chatter.
" W-why are you doing this!" The voice was desperate and exasperated.
Masaomi tried to peer through the hinges of the door,straining his eye site as far as he could reach and there, in the moonlight lay two elder men; dead and bleeding. But that wasn't what really surprised him, no, it was how he, Shiki, stood. Standing tall, and pointing a gun at a man sitting on a king size bed.
" My apologies for the warning shots . That was to notify how serious we are and how something will be done about our predicament tonight. First thing is first,you haven't paid the Awakusu-Kai back. Nor have you done as you were told at the last meeting. The boss decided that this will be the final mistake that we will accept from you."
He cocked his gun
"Forgive me, this isn't personal." And with that, he shot the man in the leg as the other began to howl in pain.
"I-Im sorry, I'm sorry, I'll do something about it r-right away and-" but before the man could stand up and compose himself a gun was placed in his face.
"Earlier, a boy came to sell you bread here .Didn't he? " Shiki's voice was the only thing heard throughout the whole room, and in that moment it took all of Aoba's willpower not to jump, and scream and kick ( because he knew who was at the other end of that gun; That, man. That man.' )
The man said nothing, just a look of recognition and guilt could be seen on his face.
"A while ago I said this wasn't personal."
"T-that's right you said so! Please let me go! I beg of y-you.." The man clenched Shiki's white shoes roughly, gripping them in despair. But Shiki shook him off, cocked his gun and took a shot right at the man's face. It exploded into several tiny pieces,blood on the dead man's pajamas, and on his( used to be) expensive Persian carpet. The man twitched for a couple of seconds, his last moments in pain as Shiki grind-ed the sole of his shoes on the others hand.
" That wasn't personal, but this was."
The two young boys on the other side of the wall trembled uncontrollably, both thinking the same yet different thoughts. Both of them were shaking like some kind of leaf caught in the wind, because both of them knew that Shiki had no guilt when he killed the man in such a gruesome way.
Footsteps were heard, causing inner turmoil to the boys, what if they left through this door? What would they do with them?
" We're heading back now sir."
" That's fine." Shiki commented calmly. He lifted his jacket to take out a pack of cigarettes. " I'll stay here a little while longer, I want to see this snake dead for a while."
The other men nodded and ( much to the relief of Masaomi and Aoba) escaped through the windows instead of the door. The fumes of Shiki's cigarette reached all the way to Masaomi and Aoba; who were too frozen to do anything, even blink.
" What are you two doing out so late at night?"
Both of the boy's hearts stopped; they were caught! But they did not reveal themselves, nor did they speak. Through the hinges of the door ,it turned out Shiki wasn't staring at them either. He was staring at that man's exploded face, leaving ash to fall on the blood.
" You don't have to tell me, I'm sure I already know what you two came here to do." The elder man's voice sounded too calm, it didn't sound like the voice of a man that had just killed another human in cold blood ( or maybe he always has, they just never noticed it.) " Me and my men noticed your fancy work in front of the lawn. Next time, you should do a better job of disposing of the bodies."
" The two of you came here to kill this man didn't you? For what he did to Mikado?" The two boys flinched, How did he know? " We were monitoring the house since this was the Awakusu-Kai's next hit. This man was a lousy subordinate, a liar and a cheat. And in this business, if you don't keep your word, your credibility and face flies out the window, fast. " He paused. " I arrived too late to save him, just like I arrived too late to save his mother. I couldn't go in, I wouldn't want him to see me like this."
Shiki did not need to emphasis what ' this' was.
"I'm only going to say this once. Not all people's lives are equal. Remember that. But also remember this. To kill someone is a very heavy burden. You might not feel it, since the two of you are young. When you're young you don't think of the long lasting affects to your decisions. But when you're older it sinks in, deep. Their eyes haunt you at night."
"Go home."
And it was all it took for the two teenagers to flee away from the mansion, fast.
When they arrived at Masaomi's house they took off their clothes and burned them near a trashcan near the driveway. Kasuka stood with them, looking at the heaps of smoke coming from the container.
" Masaomi-kun!" It was his mother looking at them with her arms crossed in their direction. " What are you boys doing? It's five in the morning! Don't tell me it's one of those crazy projects involving fire is it?"
Kasuka turned his head up. " We were making a volcano, and we're looking at different ways on how to make the fire come out of our project without catching the surroundings on fire."
Masaomi twirled. " Yup! Yup! It's our project mom! We'll clean when we're done ok?" Mrs. Kida rolled her eyes and went inside her home, leaving the three boys alone once again.
Now that his mother was gone, the same somber expression was regained on his face. His eyebrows upward and trembling. Masaomi's hands were clenched to his sides as he just stared at the fire destroying the evidence of that night.
'Masaomi never wear white again, it doesn't look good on you anymore.' Was what Aoba said as they were running back to the house. His hoodie had splats of blood, it was soiled, and dirty. ( Just like him.)
[ But the elder Masaomi still wears it, despite of Aoba's protests. He does it because it hurts more.]
And Aoba didn't say a word as he threw his favorite pocketknife in the trash bin, as if it wasn't that important to him. His arms crossed over his chest.
The tallest boy, Kasuka looked back and forth at the two and could only say " What happened?"
" Shiki was there. " It was the only thing that fell off of Aoba's lips, but that was all it took for Kasuka's eyes to widen a bit ( just a bit).
" Mikado's doctor? What was he doing there?"
Masaomi turned his head at him, the fire crackling loudly. " Kasuka, you know the rumors, right? That he's a doctor by day and a Yakuza member by night? Dude, it's not a rumor, cause it's true." His voice turned into a harsh,loud whisper. " I thought I was gonna die! He freakin' blew the guy's face clean off. Like that one time, remember? When Ryo Takiguchi from class D showed us that video off of Nico Nico Douga? The one where a car zooms by and rips a cow's face right off? It was like that, except it fucking exploded!"
Aoba glared at Masaomi since he wasn't in the mood for his rambling. " Shiki killed..that man in cold blood. For personal and professional reasons."
" Then why did you two come back with blood all over your faces and clothes?"
Silence.
" Masaomi, this idiot, got hit in the head by a metal bat. It's a wonder he's not dead. But we were separated and he was looking for me when it had happened." Masaomi flinched.' I wasn't looking for you, I was going to leave you, and push you off the stairs.' was what he was going to say, but he couldn't. " You wanted to run away Masaomi, but you didn't. " The dark haired boy looked at the other a bit embarrassed ,yet dryly said "Thank you."
And all it left was a bitter taste in Masaomi's mouth. All these things made him a coward.
It was partly cloudy , and it was very strange for December to have hints of rain. It was like the seasons were mixed up, the next thing you know, March will be filled with snow. Sharp shoes stepped on the cement, walking slowly toward the Hospital doors. It was an elder man in his mid-thirties. He looked good for his age and spoke in a soothing baritone.
" Hello, I'd like to see Mikado Ryuugamine." He spoke in a polite dialect at the nurse in front of the reception and she smiled as she wrote him a pass.
" Your name sir?" She spoke cheerfully.
" Awakusu Shiki."
When the man received his pass he lightly bowed and walked briskly toward the nearest elevator. He checked his phone for any messages and looked up.
"Anri-chan, how is Mikado-kun doing?" He looked up to meet eyes with his adoptive daughter , she was in the elevator beckoning him to enter before the doors would close. He entered and she barely reached above his shoulders, but then again he was always a tall man.
" Well, here is his information." She handed him a writing board with papers. " I'm sure he'll be happy in seeing you again.." She looked down, and it reminded him of when she was a child. "The two of you haven't seen each other in two years ,respectively."
" Thank you for saying so." Shiki turned to her.
When they arrived at the designated floor, they stepped out into the wash room. (It was a rule for everyone who entered the specific area to clean their hands with disinfectant.) After that, they opened the doors with a small 'beep'. The chairs in the hall were empty for the most part, but the waiting room was a bit full. Anri peered through the door's glass section ,trying to see any familiar faces. She smiled when she saw a drooling Masaomi resting his head on an exasperated Aoba who had begun to draw silly pictures on him with marker( out of boredom) . There were stick figures, curly mustaches and curse words in foreign languages.
She opened the door and walked side by side with Shiki, who bowed lightly at anyone who made eye contact . Aoba, who had now looked up stared in surprise, stood up, and threw Masaomi right off of him.
" Aww, shit! " The blond rubbed the back of his head, still in a daze. " What's the big deal Aoba!"
When Masaomi looked up he was shocked. He didn't expect to see Shiki, Mikado's father figure standing in front of him.
" Hello everyone. It's been quite a while. Well, except you Kuronuma-san. I see you quite often. "
Masaomi quickly glared at Aoba ' So that's what he's been up to.'
" Hello, sir. It's nice to see you again." but as soon as he said this, he stood up and sent a look toward the younger dark haired man. " So Aoba, you work for Awakusu-san? Woooooowww, so, then, like, what did you tell Mikado when he asked you about your job?"
The other wrinkled his nose.
" I told him I'm working for Awakusu-san's company. Nothing else, nothing less."
" I'm an underground doctor, Masaomi-kun. " He speaks as he opens a cigarette box. " I was stationed at Tokyo for a while, but since Mikado-kun suddenly arrived from China four months ago I decided to pay him a visit."
"That's great!." Masaomi forced a smile. " We should all go out for some Korean barbeque or something.. you know when Mikado get's better." When will that ever happen, the blond thought to himself.
" That would be wonderful, thank you for the invitation. I'll see when my schedule is free." It was a decline for the non-invitation. Just being near the elder man made him feel uncomfortable, just knowing that he would blow a person's head clean off, it meant he was a bad person right? But would a bad person give money to his best friend's grandparents? Would a bad person have raised Mikado like he was his own son?
" Awakusu-san," There he goes again, that ass kisser, Masaomi rolled his eyes as Aoba spoke. " Kasuka-kun just came in . You can go pay sempai a visit." And sure enough Kasuka walked toward them, earning him dreamy sighs and squeals from the women that were in the waiting room.
" Hello Awakusu-san." Kasuka said, he bowed lightly at the elder man. " It's been a long time."
" It sure has, your career in acting has been looking promising." Shiki began. " I recently read a review for the most recent play you did. The critic's loved it."
The other bowed again, thanking the elder for his compliments and took a seat in between his two friends. Anri coughed a little, toward her father and he nodded in return.
" I'll visit Mikado-kun later, but before I do, I want to talk to you four outside. Would that be fine? And Masaomi-kun, wash your face. I am sure you don't want everyone to know what your mother does for a living."
" What?"
Kasuka lazily spun around, facing Masaomi.
The tall, silent man tugged onthe blond's sleeve. His face edged near the others and he said in an amused tone (his friends would be the only one to catch it though.)
"It's in French. It says 'Ta mere suce le penis d'animaux pour l'argent "
When Masaomi gave him a confused look, like he had just said 'what?' and 'Since when did you know french?' Kasuka merely stated. "...It's best not to know."
The group had already begun to leave, opening the door to the hall.
"Wait, wait..what does it mean ! ?"
The group met at a nearby fire escape, it was a balcony that had several stairs attached to it. It showed the city and a bakery that was near the hospital.
"I'm sure you have heard of Mikado's disease by now. Polycystic Kidney Disease?" A pause, as if expecting an answer. "You should have." Shiki's voice is a baritone suitable for his age, filled with wisdom and experience. He lights up a cigarette and leans on the railings of the stairs. " It's one of the most common life threatening diseases. It's not always caused by genetics, but it's no coincidence that just like Mikado's mother was also infected ,he is as well. His is called Autosomal dominant , since only one of the parents carried that gene. It's a disorder in which clusters of cysts( those are bumps) that develop from inside your kidneys. Usually kidneys weigh about one-third of a pound while people with this particular disease can weigh up to thirty three pounds."
He blows smoke out into the air.
"They are nothing more than a water like fluid. It's not limited to your kidneys though, it can begin infecting your liver and just about anywhere else. It complicates your health, like giving you high blood pressure, urinating blood, it can even cause a brain hemorrhage. Mikado shouldn't have that to deal with that at such a young age."
"Even though he has tried so hard to prevent from spreading it has happened. His insides are too weak, I'm sure all of you can even tell a gust of wind can knock him over."
He looks up at Kasuka, Anri ( who just had a calmed expression) , Masaomi and Aoba, who all had their faces quite pale and troubled.
" He's going to die very soon. And there's nothing we could do to stop it."
The only thing that could be heard were the sounds of people talking outside. Small, muffled voices.
"I've looked into underground medicines and treatments, but nothing seems to work. So now, the purpose for this meeting was to yes, inform you, but also to let you in our plan. The outcome is inevitable but what we're hoping to aide him with is a painless death. "
" How much time does he have left?" It was Kasuka who asked the question, but his voice seemed more robotic and lifeless than usual.
The other looked at him strangely , as if he were surprised at the other for even asking the question.
" Less than a year, five months tops. He'll be dead by the start of June."
Masaomi couldn't speak, and his eyes were wide open. He looked at his hands and then at his shoes.
" I-I'll..." Aoba began to speak, and everyone braced themselves for his incoming outburst. " I-I'll..." He stuttered and he couldn't help it. He continued to stutter, and soon gave up trying to speak.
Masaomi felt a bit sorry for him ( a bit) and wanted to say but couldn't say-
You made sure you were here, but what about him?
" I'll go break the news to him." Masaomi said, if anyone should tell him anything, it should be him right? They were best friends. When he said this, the elder man snuffed his cigarette on the grey bars, throwing it off the ledge.
" Hold on a minute." Shiki spoke in a confused tone. " I thought all of you were aware of this already..." He turned to Anri for an explanation, and she was just as surprised as he was.
" I didn't tell them anything because I thought Mikado-kun would have told them by now."
That was when all hell broke loose.
" Since when the hell did you know ? " It was Masaomi, who started to raise his voice. Kasuka eyed him and reprimanded his behavior. " Masaomi.."
"Since a few months back." She looked a bit nervous. " Telling information like that about my patient is against the law, I only spoke to everyone about him at the bonfire a year back because I thought he had already told everyone..."
Aoba seemed to swallow something , his Adam's apple bobbed down. " So Sempai... he left us in the dark again. Kasuka..did he tell you?"
And Kasuka was staring at the floor because he felt a bit betrayed and did not understand why his partner would do this to him. But that was just a second, because his pain must be nothing in comparison to Mikado's. He looked up again and said
" He had his reasons."
Mikado felt like his insides would rip out at any moment. But he feigned comfort and continued to check out the internet and image boards to quench his net addiction. His laptop was sent to him by Kasuka, and once in his thin fingers he began to type unmercifully. Responding to messages , posting comments, and yes, even catching up on paperwork. When he was typing, he really wasn't thinking of the letters or fresh new gossip. He was too busy missing all of his students, like Shizuo, that blonde, bashful boy that could become too sweet enough for words. The Otaku friends who gossiped in class over the new animate figure that was in production, the strange boy who often asked for blood samples for his new project, that mute girl ( who he had a small connection to because of that), and last but not least, Izaya. But his was mixed with worry, since he wasn't there to monitor his actions anymore.
He was soon interrupted as the door was soon swung open.
Izaya ( the boy who never wore his uniform correctly) walked calmly across the room, the swiftness like a ship on the vast currents . He said nothing, because words weren't needed at the exact moment not when he already spoke in action as he placed Mikado's health records from when he was five years old. Izaya had smooth talked the head nurse for information, and when she didn't buy that he was a younger brother he simply waited for her to commence her lunch before he displayed his pick pocket skills.
Mikado looked at the white pages , the pages that had described every check up, every pain he had felt in his life, and Izaya glared at him accusingly, as if he were tongue tied and didn't know what to say ( but that was strange, because Izaya always knew what to say.)
"Even after all that you still want to be buried in this stupid world?"
The sound of the computer's fans could be heard quietly. Mikado's face was in a daze and said-
" How did you know I was here?"
The boy was dressed in his uniform ( if you could call it that) , clashing with the white walls. He stood out, like he always had . It didn't matter where he was, he always acted like he was above everyone (or liked to think he was). He changed his attitude and began to frolic into the small patient's room.
" You weren't in class for a week, and for everyday you didn't arrive, I just broke into your house. I didn't see you there, so I thought-" Izaya put a hand up into the air, like he was playing bingo. " I know! I'll surprise Mikado-kun by jumping out when he comes through the door!" Then, the boys' expression changed to a sad ,teary one. " I was so heartbroken! You never came at all! So I figured..." A devilish grin marred his features. " I have to find him! So I went though your stuff and 'pow'! I found your identification card, your social security, and oh-your health records! I found out so many interesting things about you Mikado-kun! Like you're really,really sick!"
Mikado was at a loss for words.
" You...went through my belongings?"
The other dismissed his comment and continued talking. " That isn't important right now, what's important right now is that..you are going to become worm food soon!" The red eyed boy began to giggle, like he had just said a very funny joke. " And I wonder, why? In your will-don't worry I put it right back in your safe, underneath the right kitchen cabinet, just where you like it -it said that you would like to be buried underneath a flowerbed. And I wonder, why? Why?"
" Because I want to." Mikado spoke. " Orihara-san I think you overstayed your welcome, and -"
"Why not give yourself to me?" The elder looked at him with a confused expression and did not move. " I'll take care of your corpse. You can be just like that body I have under that river, just rotting away. But I'm sure your decay would be much prettier."
Mikado could only remember those dark holes for eyes, and the smell, and oh my -those kittens. So he gulps down the vomit and says " I am not a doll Orihara-san. Nor do I wish to become your entertainment. I don't think it's nice to laugh at me ..it's not nice at all."
"It's not very nice to just disappear for days on end without telling me."
"Where you... worried about me? "
Izaya still had that permanent smile on his face , but none the less looked a little shocked. He wasn't aware of why he wanted to find Mikado. All he knew was that he wanted to find him, now.
"Are you alright Orihara-kun?" Concern laced his voice and questioned on whether he should call the nurse for help.
"In less than a year you'll be dead. Did you know that? Did they tell you yet? It says so in those new files."
Mikado's look never faltered. " I know that. I always knew that."
Izaya is a bit surprised, but not to a very high degree. All he does is form an 'o' with his mouth. He looks even a bit bashful ( which does not fit his personality well) and he begins to look outside. From Mikado's windowsill he sees the birds resting on a tree branch. The wind just a bit cold ,making the leaves shake and falter. The boy decided that he was tired.
"I'm tired," he says. But that is all left to interpretation since Izaya himself didn't know what he meant to say by that. (It was happening a lot lately.) " Scoot over, I'm going to take a nap!" He crawls in like some kind of cat, stretching and yawning, going underneath the covers and putting the sheets around his shoulders.
A wry look. Because the elder doesn't understand the boy's actions. Here he comes accusing him and then he wants to relax with him. But he puts all the matters aside when he sees the boy's eyes closed, his breathing becoming slow and gradual. At that time he really did look like a child.
Then Mikado understood when Izaya had said he was tired.( He was talking about something above that.)
Laughing, Mikado says ," Alright, Alright. I did tell you I would make it up to you didn't I?" He reaches downward to pat the dark boy's hair, gently moving it with his long fingers. Mikado's warm hands felt just so right on his head ( it was soothing) . The window was a bit open, leaving the room in a perfect temperature. They stayed like this for just a bit, until when the elder returned back to his computer( Sorry, I have to finish this file) , clicking and tapping away.
Izaya shifts in his sleep, and slowly opens his eyes to the others hands on the keyboard. "What's the one dream you want to fulfill before leaving? "
It was too straightforward for Izaya, but he really wanted to know. He wanted to see what kind of person Mikado was, and that, that was why he followed him. He chose such romantic language because he knew the other liked that sort of thing . Using 'goal' instead of the word 'dream'. The older man turned out to be so different from everyone else. Yet he fought to stay normal, it fascinated him. He could never tell what the blue eyed man was doing , nor could he tell what was behind those eyes.
Mikado looked straight at him, and this might be the only time Izaya had ever felt an entire person's being in a stare. It was exhilarating. He squeezed the bed sheets closer.
"I want people to remember me for my kindness."
Whenever Mikado would speak, he would leave behind a fragrant echo. It smelled like the flowers on his balcony and it felt like millions of miles away.( the stench made him nauseous , or perhaps because he hasn't eaten in days? ) And in that moment Izaya understood Mikado, just a little bit, and told him in the most serious voice he could muster, and he tried to speak above the sound of eggs cracking and the murmurs of the other patients, and at the tapping of the tree branch against the window-
"Mikado if you're going to die you should have a better dream."
"I'd like to think I understand you, but let's be honest here." Masaomi did not sit down, just continued talking in that bitter voice of his.
"When is that ever going to happen?"
The other was still in his bed, accompanied by a sleeping teen at his side. The blond looked at Izaya , but did not comment.
" Masaomi, " Mikado began. " What's wrong? Are you here to argue aga-"
"You're really cruel, you know that?"
When the other said this, Mikado's blue eyes flashed recognition, and braced himself for the blow that was to come.
"You didn't even tell me." Masaomi did not tell Mikado on what he failed in, because Mikado was not an idiot. He may be naive, but he wasn't a fool. (He had to remember that. Like that one time in Recess, when Mikado scrapped his knee when a boy pushed him off the swing. He beckoned Masaomi not to hurt the other kid back. Mikado was like that; He always knew how to pick his (and other's battles). Because he knew they were sometimes worth it.)
" It's because Masaomi, if I would have told you, you would have exaggerated." He says flatly, like it wasn't rocket science. "You would have blown the news out of proportion. You were always like that, in the worst or best of situations. You would have worried over me, and you wouldn't be able to eat and sleep-" A glare was thrown to him. " I know you Masaomi."
Masaomi parts his mouth for a bit, taking his hands out of a white jacket that doesn't suit him anymore. "That's not even it and you know it! You don't trust me ,do you? And how in the hell would you want me to act? Calm as fuck?" When he cursed it was him trying to make light of a situation. "Like, ' Hey Masaomi, guess what? I'm gonna die in a couple of months!' You think I'll just go and say ' Oh, great bro! Whatever floats your boat!' Hell no Mikado. You're acting fucking stupid." Then the insults and sarcasm would come flowing in. He was so predictable, like a dog that would always run to bite the mailman at a certain time. Taking the bait. "This is your life, your time with us in this world. It's not something you just take so casually. By being selfless and trying to protect others you're hurting everyone else that cares for you."
"See how you're acting Masaomi?" He says slowly, and barely above a whisper, like he was telling campfire stories and secrets. " This is why I didn't tell you. And please keep it down. Orihara-kun is sleeping."
The other continues ,ignoring him. And Mikado was getting tired of it, so, so, much. "And what is he doing here? He's a problem kid Mikado, he's never going to change. He's going to stay that rotten, creepy kid he has and have always been." He sighs. "You.. You' re always doing this. You're always trying to save everyone because you can't even save yourself. You've always doing that. Forgiving others.." Forgiving me, is what he had meant to say. Why can't Mikado just raise himself off the bed and give him a good punch?"...since we were kids. Always being the martyr. Even to that Uncle that used to be abuse you. Don't you remember all those times you were smacked around? I still can't believe you used to wave good morning to him!"
The computer was already turned off, but the laptop screen was still standing erect. The blue eyed man pushed it done quickly, his eyes never meeting the others.
"It's because you're too judgmental. You need to give others a chance."
But all it did was to offend the other with his words, and yet again did the honey eyed man stand a protective stance.
" You think I'm judgmental. If that's something I have to accept, okay. I don't care for it's term, or it's meaning. It's because people are people. People are terrible things."
" Then think about all the people you've watched around the years. People you see at the mall or in the street." Mikado began, his eyes were fixated on the white sheets before, but now they were looking at Masaomi and speaking in loud volume to him. "I'm not going to pretend I've personally got to know them. But I see people smile, and have fun, and do nice gestures, and it makes me happy. I see teasing, and bullying, and it makes me anxious. But I like the happier bits more even if I don't see them that often ."
Mikado breaks the silence easily.
"I want hope. "
Mikado did not know it but his words pierced Masaomi through his chest, making him remember about that promise he made to his mother many years ago.
"And that hope comes from my confidence that the majority of people are good. I don't care how many kids have pinched me when I was younger, how a man took my virginity, how many people will later badmouth me when I turn my back, how hurtful my mother's death was , how blind and negligent my father has been. I believe the majority of people are good in their cores. Despite our darker natures, our lighter natures exist too, and I think they're bigger. I believe in treating everyone with kindness, and I know people stray from that. I don't know really what I'm trying to say."
At this point Masaomi was at the edge of his seat, holding on to Mikado's hand in support; but what he really was doing was holding on to him, in fear that he would leave him.
" This is so hard for me Masaomi. I wanted to tell you...I wanted to tell all of you, because this burden is too big for my shoulders. A day doesn't go by when I think of all of you, laughing and crying. I worry so much about all of you, I do so because I don't even want to begin thinking about my own problems...but maybe that's the problem. I care too much.."
Izaya was sleeping soundly, his hair peeking out of the covers. The sun was setting, and the birds had already flown away.
"And that's why my heart will never be steady for as long as I live."
Ta mere suce le penis d'animaux pour l'argent -Your mother sucks animal cock for money.
I would like to apologize for the late update. Your Christmas present will be another update, and for those who don't celebrate Christmas , think of it as a gift.
Thank you.
Feel free to skip this if you wish.
There was a time when my family was extremely poor. We lived in such small quarters, that if I were to compare it to the size of the room I have now, it would have been the entire house. The main house in the front were the landlords who we had to pay every month. Sometimes they raised the rent too high, and sometimes they kept it the same. I remember I used to spend my days outside in public library's, friend's houses and the occasional trip to a city hours away. I wanted to be anywhere but that place, in fact, I refused to call it my 'home' and instead called it a 'house'.
The people living there,well let's just say they weren't the most..considerate of people. Let's leave it at that, but I remember befriending the youngest daughter who was very troubled. She confided in me her deepest secrets and hobbies, needless to say she was a lot of trouble on my part. But I didn't mind that much, I guess I'm just the sort of person who just accepts those sort of things from others. There was this one incident though, I remember. It was late, around three in the morning when I heard my cellphone ring. It was my friend. I picked it up, quite confused and asked her where she was.
She was crying.
She said she had gotten high with some schoolmates and 'friend's at a nearby park, that she couldn't remember what had happened and that she was scared. I asked her if she was still in the same location. She said yes, and I told her to wait for me. I sneaked out of the house, making sure my parents were asleep and took a bike that my grandfather had given me.
So , in short, I pedaled for thirty minutes to the park she was in , at three a.m in the morning.
I scolded her as she had her arms around my waist ( this was all why riding the bike.) I don't really remember much of what I told her, I was really sleepy, haha. But I what I do remember telling her was 'Are you stupid?' repeatedly. I think I also told her that she shouldn't worry her mother and father , that they would have a fit if they found out.
Her parents found out a while later. She was scared, and confused, so , she decided to blame it on me. So she fibbed on me to her parents, telling them that I was the one encouraging her behavior. My parents did not believe them, yet the parents did not forbid her from speaking with me . They just talked about me behind my back, but at the same time, I never told on her. Nor did I ever bring that incident up again.
So, you are probably asking, why did I write this? Well, do you think I was foolish? Did you think Masaomi and Aoba was foolish?You know, for going through all that for a friend. When you're young or old, I think adults and children are capable of showing extreme acts of loyalty. Or maybe you think it's stupidity? Is it wrong to put someone elses happiness before yours? Sure, what I did wasn't as dangerous as Aoba's or Masaomi's , but this is to make a point, haha. I just wanted to share this because I thought it would enhance this story some how, but now rereading this it seems a bit silly...
Thank you again if you decided to read that!
♠TITLE♠ And I Wondered Why It Burned
♠RATING ♠PG-15
♠WORDCOUNT♠ 8,947
♠SUMMARY ♠In which Shizuo realizes he's a train wreck, Izaya knows that they can see him ,and where Mikado desperately wants to show two young boys just what trust really is.Alternative Reality
♦NOTES♦ Shizuo/Mikado/ Izaya and other pairings. These are all slightly hinted of course.