CAROUSEL -PART 8- Second Act- Hyper Aesthesia
The blood emitted from the charcoal haired man's mouth, dying his suit in lovely reds, moist and damp. Tsunayoushi restrained Kyouya by holding him in a worried embrace. Thinking and becoming alarmed of the warning. That the carousel was turning and they could not do anything to stop it. What's going on? The reds continued to drip onto the platform leaving back stains on the marble floor.
Kyouya stood up, his knees giving out as he kicked the other man's chest causing Tsunayoushi to wince in pain.
"Unhand me."
Hibari Kyouya did not need anyone to help him. He could stand up on his own two feet. He was a carnivore. He blinked, and he was no longer bleeding, the dazed weakness that he felt was no longer there. He was as normal as day, the crowd on the train station's platform all quite busy and crowding around him. The static had gone away.
" Hibari-san."
The herbivore in front of him had his pupils dilated, attempting to enunciate words that flew out in stutters. The herbivore was not staring at the carnivore in front of him, he was staring at something in back of the taller man. Tsunayoushi was in a spellbind.
Kyouya takes two steps forward ( for he is never the one to take steps back) and turns his head in back of him.
It was a clock in mammoth size that the herbivore was staring at. It was in the middle of the platform for all the convenience of the passengers. But now this clock did not just tell time, it told a revelation. It made the carnivore's eyes widen (not in shock) but in anger. His eyes becoming wild like a bull who had just saw the red flash of the Matador, the thrill of the kill. Kyouya's hands reached for his tonfas and shown them menacingly, scaring off everyone that had crowded around him and left him with more than enough personal space.
It was only 3:00 P.M. They had boarded the train to take them back to their apartments at 4:00P.M. They had gone back one hour.
Which means that they had never taken the train prior. The train ride did not happen.
There are blind spots.
The walk to the apartment was a quiet one. The sky was threatening with rainfall and the wind was a bit chilly. Tsunayoushi did not even attempt to break the silence when they left the station. Hibari-san is confused, he thought. But then again so was he, here he was not knowing between reality and dreams in the city that was made of pretty sharp things . What had just happened? Time was never wrong, time was absolute.
He could still see the invisible stains of Hibari-san's blood on his hands and remembers the fright he had felt when he'd seen the proud man like that. It wasn't like Hibari-san to bleed. It made him more human.
It had begun to rain.
Tsunayoushi wished that the rain fall would hit him hard and wash away his troubles along with time and all his dreams. Then they would dissolve into water and go into the sewers where he would not see them.
He stopped walking and bumped into the man in front of him.
" I-I'm sorry Hi-Hibari-san. I wasn't looking where I was going and-"
The man looked at him like a commander who had been at war, a general ( because he had never expected less than that from Hibari-san) and told him in the voice that dared the other to question him. The taller man emphasized each word carefully, perhaps he was doing this because of the loud rain or perhaps he was only doing it to make himself believe they were true. Kyouya spoke with such strong words.
" This. Can't. Be. My. Life."
Tsunayoushi is struck. He is struck with the way Kyouya seems to bite, and snap, and growl with his eyes. The way he clenches his fists so hard he was afraid they would crack like glass.
The mousy man frowned .
" Hibari-san, I think we should talk about this elsewhere."
They two of them stood in front of the apartment building soaked to the bone, the rain still dropping on them like bombs .
" No," Kyouya bites back. " We have to talk about this now."
" We will both catch colds."
" Only herbivores catch colds."
Tsunayoushi sighed but cannot quarrel with the man. He had to give him this.
" When you bled, I became frightened."
Kyouya's eyes became calm .
" I don't know why but the only thing I could think about was you."
The rain had calmed a bit, a lot less angry and felt like Yamamoto ( Tsunayoushi suddenly felt more confidant).
"Why were you frightened?" Kyouya knew the answer already but he had wanted to hear it. It disgusted him.
" I don't know." Tsunayoushi looked to the sky and the rain left marks on his face like tears. " If only you know how terrified I am."
Grey eyes are still glued toward brown ones.
" I do not know what being terrified is."
" Were you not terrified or even filled with sorrow for having to leave Namimori?"
The sound of rain was heard.
" I know less of what sorrow is."
This time Kyouya looked up to the sky and pondered on why was it, that the sky in the city and in Namimori looked the same ( Not that he would ever admit it). It was the same sky.
" I think you do know ."
A car passed quickly, splashing some water on the pavement.
"You know nothing."
Their eyes collided once again.
"Hibari-san do you eat a lot because you want to be too full to swallow sorrow?"
A part of Kyouya, the subconscious one wanted to go and kill them man right there and leave him in a state of no return. There was a seeping resentment for Tsunayoushi, and if this was reincarnation of some sort ( even if Kyouya had made sure it wasn't) then the mousy man in front of him deserves what was coming to him. On impulse, Kyouya charged at the other as the downpour splashed on them. Tsunayoushi's back was on the ground as the elder man stood on top of him , chocking him with his calloused hands. It all happened so fast.
Tsunayoushi grasped for air but did not attempt to stop the other.
" The Carousel," Hibari began. " I saw it only a few times in my dreams and it has never turned. It has always been small and the size of a snow globe, playing a ridiculous tune from those French films. But in that time when I bled, it turned. Someone has wound it and I do not comprehend what that means, but all I know is that I detest it with every fiber of my being ."
The grip on the others neck was still strong, but as if it had never happened, Kyouya stands up, abruptly, and walks to the door of the apartment. Tsunayoushi begins to cough and breath in all the air that he was depraved of, attempting to snort out all the water that accumulated in his nostrils.
" I will search for any Carousels around this city. I will attempt to stop whatever 'this' is before it escalates any further." In the corner of Kyouya's eyes he stares at Tsunayoushi in the rain. " Idiotic herbivore, why didn't you fight back?"
He knew the answer to this question too.
" Because," Tsunayoushi's voice sounded hoarse. " I wouldn't mind dying by your hand."
I always die in my dreams, Kyouya remembers the herbivore telling him. And he scoffs, and then he begins to laugh. A laugh that sounded like murder. Why is it, why is that this pitiful creature is so predictable?
That stupidity will get you killed someday.
" You're pathetic."
The mousy man's wobbly knees give out as soon as he attempts to stand up, like a little baby duck attempting to walk. He does not respond to the others insults and only tells him-
" Since I've met you , I always felt that you have been searching for something you don't have. Maybe it has something to do with all of 'this'." By 'this' he meant the dreams, the strange lapses of time, the rain that seemed to leave them bare and cold. " I hope-" An intake of breath, a voice muted just a tiny bit because of the cry of the rain and thunder, " -that you'll find what you're looking for ."
I hope you do, because since I was born I knew that I never will.
And Hibari only shows the view of his back the whole time. He closes the door behind him, but couldn't help take two steps back to see if the younger man managed to get back up and was on his way to the door.
Mukuro is brushing his cobalt hair when he hears a a knock on his sister's apartment door. He had slept over the other day, for the reason that both had to finish some documents for a meeting . He tied his hair with black lace as he opened the door.
" Welcome, Takeshi-kun. What a surprise."
Yamamoto looked a bit tired but grinned as he waved. A pink box was extended toward the Italian male.
"I brought a peace offering , hahaha."
" What a delight." Mukuro clutched the bottom of the box , balancing as he opened the door for the guest. " Now to what do we owe the pleasure, Takeshi-kun? If you wanted to discuss something with me you should have just phoned me."
The man with the hetero-chromatic eyes extends a gloved hand towards the furniture in the living room. 'Sit', they seemed to say.
" Actually," Yamamoto sat on a velvet chair next to the water tank filled with lotus flowers . " I came here to talk to Chrome-chan."
Before Mukuro could question as to why the Japanese man would want to talk to his Chrome, his sister walks in as if she heard the man call her name.
" Takeshi-kun." She says softly. They share a mutual understanding with their looks and she looks up to her brother delicately. " Mukuro-sama, weren't you going to visit Boss today? I talked to him ten minutes ago, he seemed a little sad. Maybe you should go and comfort him."
Mukuro looks at the two people in the room, and after a small internal battle puts on his coat. " Maybe I shall."
He grabs his wallet by the small table near the door, the place where Chrome has a photograph of them as children. Him, her and Tsunayoushi. Chrome held hands with Tsunayoushi and Mukuro had his arm around the brown haired boy's shoulders as well. His chin resting on the others head ( Tsunayoushi had always been short). They were dressed in their best clothing.
" Be good."
When Tsunayoushi arrived at the house he was assaulted with question after question. Why are you soaking wet? What did that man do to you? Tsunayoushi, look at me when I'm talking to you!
" Yes, big brother Giotto?" Tsunayoushi is shirtless, drying off the water that had accumulated in his shirt. The water fell onto the drain of the kitchen sink.
" What..what happened to you Tsunayoushi-kun?" Concern laced the elder's voice. " You're soaking wet." Giotto grabbed a napkin from the counter and began to dab his smaller brother's face with it.
" Nothing happened." Tsunayoushi stepped away from his eldest brother's touch like it burned him. " I just forgot my umbrella is all. And Reborn? Where is Reborn?"
'It's always Reborn with you, isn't it?' Giotto faces the refrigerator to pour himself a glass of orange juice. Tsunayoushi had squeezed it fresh in the morning. He would make the perfect housewife, and that worried the elder male.
" He went to the convenience store with Dino and Xanxus."
Tsunayoushi nodded, So Xanxus did come back after all. He turns away politely and walks to his room, the wet shirt now damp. Giotto decides to be a little more talkative and follows him .
" Don't you think it is peculiar how we differ from our mannerisms due to our upbringing? You spent most of your childhood in Japan, and I for the majority of the time, have always been in Italy. Tell me, Tsunayoushi-kun, why have you always disliked going to visit Father's family?"
The two men were now in Tsunayoushi's room. The younger had already changed into an oversized sweater ( Which obviously wasn't his) and a pair of nice pajama pants. And that also worried Giotto, how Tsunayoushi could just change his clothing in front of just about anyone. He was too trusting.
"Uhm," The brown haired man begins to comb his damp hair and turns on the hair dryer that he received as a gift from Gokudera. " To be honest...they have always intimidated me."
There was a heavy cloud in the room and the elder brother decided not to push it. Just talking calmly like this was progress.
" Little brother, that is my sweater ." Amusement was in the elder man's voice, he said this while he played with the small trinkets in front of his younger brother's mirror stand. There was that perfume that Dino had given Tsunayoushi for Christmas, and there was that necklace that Giotto had given the youngest for his eighteenth birthday.
There was nothing but memories in this room.
"Oh, do you want it back?"
An elegant grin.
"No, it's fine. Maybe you'll grow into it someday."
"Hey!-" Before Tsunayoushi could defend his masculinity, his cellphone began to ring. He scurries off to the mirror-stand looking for his phone. He turns to his brother. "Ah, excuse me." Giotto waves him off. " Hello Chrome-" And Tsunayoushi escapes to the living room.
Giotto smiled and gave the other some privacy , it was about time that his little brother had gotten himself a girlfriend. Chrome, that was Mukuro's sister wasn't she? He approved. Tsunayoushi needed someone that wasn't overbearing. Not someone like him and Reborn , he thought sadly. All through his life he always witnessed how hard others were on his smaller brother. As a child it saddened him to see the youngest cry, so oftentimes he would work harder to impress everyone else around him. By doing so, he thought that it would direct all the attention to him, that they would criticize him instead. It didn't work that way.
He sighs and shakes the weight of guilt off him,stands up, and steps on something soft on the floor. It was a stuffed toy lion that Tsunayoushi had since they were children ( he still has it?) , Giotto remembers he had won it for him in a claw machine in the super market. It was a day when their parents were taking a small couples vacation and had left Reborn in charge. He remembers that day clearly, like how water is transparent in a bottle. He remembers because that was when Tsunayoushi began to hate him. ( He just knew it.)
Smoke appears again, an eerie feeling but Giotto doesn't care-not when he is too busy remembering the past. He remembers the events like an old movie projector, nostalgic and blurry.
" Why did you let them do that big brother Giotto?"
Tsunayoushi was seven years old at the time. The little boy hid underneath the jungle gym, where all the sand was. He is silently crying with scratches and bruises. There was dirt on the edges of his mouth, not to mention his clothes and shoes.
Preadolescent Giotto is scared, but does not show it. He couldn't speak , he could only stare at what the children at the park did to his smaller brother.
"I'm sorry Tsunayoushi," It was the first thing he could think of. " I didn't know they would hurt you like this. I should have never left you here by yourself." The blond haired boy had become quite bored taking care of Tsunayoushi, for the younger could not play so roughly . So when some other boys his age asked him to play soccer, Giotto accepted, ordering Tsunayoushi to 'stay put'.
He didn't want things to have ended like this.
Tsunayoushi did not move, he just continued to cry . And every time he hiccuped as he sobbed , Giotto began to see himself as a failure . Why was it that the easiest things are the hardest to do?
Giotto heard small mumbling.
"Tsunayoushi? I can't hear you."
The mumbling grew louder but still not decipherable.
" Please speak up-"
"They made me eat dirt." The brown haired boy looked ashamed, his two hands placed in his lap, his eyes downcast.
Without thinking , Giotto looks at the other boy in horror and says the first thing that comes to his mind ( because when you are young you don't understand how things can hurt) . He should have phrased it more differently, emphasizing that he meant to describe the situation.
"That's disgusting."
The little boy is disappointed and hurt, he thought 'of course big brother Giotto looks down on me' . Just because they were brothers didn't mean they were the same. Tsunayoushi looked at his hands covered in dirt, the taste of the earth still in his teeth. He looks at his elder brother who's nose is wrinkled and eyes filled with pity and disgust.
When the two brothers walk home, Tsunayoushi refuses to hold the others hand and never looks Giotto in the eye again. Even when Tsunayoushi is older, he refuses to let old habits die, he continues to be wary of his family . Although over time, he will forget why or when this occurred.
When the elder brother returned with Tsunayoushi, Reborn greets them with gnarled teeth . He raises his hand, and slaps Giotto across the face. It stung.
" I told you to watch him!"
Giotto just stares at the floor as smoke appears , although this time it was a different color. A light gold that enveloped him in the blanket called regret.
In the next room Tsunayoushi has the phone between his shoulder and ear as he mixes batter and lettuce.
Chrome was on the other side of the receiver.
" -I was wondering if we could schedule the dinner to this Saturday rather than on Wednesday. A meeting for the Mist was announced in such short notice. I hope it isn't any trouble."
"Ah, no problem." He places some green onions to the mix. " Ah, at what time would you like for me to be there?"
"Would it be convenient for you to come at 7 P.M.?"
"Yes, thank you!" Just then he remembered his engagement on Wednesday, back to the library and that mysterious man named Byakuran. He sighs, a very heavy sigh that implied many things on the receiver. None of them good.
How would she react, he thought, if I told her I think I'm going crazy?
"Is something wrong boss?" Chrome's cotton voice was laced with concern. " You seem a bit tired."
The brown haired man was silent for a while , Chrome's eyes glistened and her mouth parted because she was on the edge of her seat. Did Boss remember by himself? Does Boss finally remember? She waits for the man on the other side of the line to break the silence.
"Chrome," He began. It must be important, she thought, for he did not add an honorific to her name. " Can I talk to you about something?" He asks this in his usual apprehensive voice. "- but promise me that you won't speak of it to anyone?"
She tries her hardest not to smile.
"I have never told your secrets to anyone Boss."
She could just imagine his embarrassed face, how his hands would tremble and move frantically.
"I-I-I w-w-wasn't doubting you o-or anything!"
"I know."
Comfortable silence.
"Things like secrets should be said face to face, Mukuro-sama has always advised me this." If Boss had remembered, a miracle would take place . " You should arrive earlier to my house, that way we can chat in private."
Not that he wouldn't mind speaking to Mukuro about what was going on ( since he knew a lot of what he dreamt ),but he wanted Chrome's advice since they were both much alike.
"Thank you Chrome," His grip on the phone relaxed. " It means a lot to me."
"I hope you sleep well boss."
After Tsunayoushi sees Reborn's tall physique at the doorway , he could breath again. He walks up toward his godfather, much like a child greeting their parent to come back from work.
" Reborn-"
A hand cut him off.
" Don't Reborn me, no good Tsuna ." Dino shuts the door behind him with an apologetic look ( You're gonna get it!) , accompanied by Xanxus that had three bottles of Alcohol in his hands( it was probably the most strong, too) . "You said you would be back by lunch and what time is it now?"
Tsunayoushi opens his mouth to say something but his words die by his elder brother's voice.
" I thought you said you didn't baby him." Giotto's voice sounded nonchalant yet venomous at the same time. He was seated underneath the kotatsu table filing documents.
" I don't." Smirked Reborn. "I just don't like him lying to me."
"I didn't mean to lie Reborn!" The brown haired man clapped both of his hands together in a plead for forgiveness. " Time just had a mind of it's own today..." Literally, he thought. " Please don't be mad, I'm making Okonomiyaki today!"
Dino's eyes sparkled and in hopes of loosening his brother's sentence, interjects in good humor . " Awww, man. You're trying to make me fat, bro."
Xanxus laid the alcohol out on the kitchen counter. " Hurry it up Trash. I want pork on mine." He puts his leather boots on the Kotatsu table much to the annoyance of Giotto.
Reborn crossed his arms. " You're still getting punished. Tomorrow in the morning you have to do twenty situps and run five laps around the apartment buildings."
"HIEEEEEEE!"
The man with the onyx eyes decides to have more fun with the smaller man. "Want to make it ten? You're walking on a tightrope ." Tsunayoushi begins to pout as Reborn takes off his fedora, placing it on Tsunayoushi's head. " Hurry it up with the Okonomiyaki, I want mine Hiroshima style."
Dino laughs and decides to help his smaller brother set the dishes on the table.
"But I'm going to have to cook the noodles from scratch!"
"Exactly, get to it. What are you waiting for?"
The banter between the two border-lined comical ( but in reality it was heartwarming) so Giotto taps Tsunayoushi lightly on the shoulder. "I'll help you Tsunayoushi, it's too much for you to do by yourself."
Just by hearing those words 'it's too much for you', Tsunayoushi stands on his own two feet and dashes to the kitchen. "No! It's fine!" He begins to kneed the dough with his fingers.
Giotto looked at his hands and slowly at Tsunayoushi's back. "I just wanted to help." He said to himself.
"I've come for an alliance." Yamamoto told Chrome this over some tea. " I gave a lot of thought over what you told us on the balcony the other day. I mean, how do I know that trusting Reborn is the right choice? I can't tell what he's thinking half the time. And besides, you are also doing this for your brother. You wouldn't want him to get hurt."
Chrome sighs, it was one of relief. Gokudera may have been the smarter of the two in education and all that, but when it came to life Yamamoto was by the far the most capable one. He had something akin to intuition in his gut.
" I'm happy that we're both in the same page now. I'm sure Boss will be much happier this way, remembering instead of living in ignorance. In the end," She looked at the color of her tea. A light orange. " We both are trying to get the same thing."
Yamamoto nods.
"I'm just rain you know?" He turns to Chrome laughing. " I'm rain for Tsuna cause I'm just falling for him." He laughs harder. "Gosh, that sounded corny right? What do I know? I'm just a country boy y' know? But it's not the sort of love like 'I want to make a baby with you' sort of thing. It's more like I just want to be with him forever. Like a family. That's all."
"Well then," Chrome smiles. " I guess we feel the same way."
"No we don't." Yamamoto said all knowingly. His eyes were warm, and he seemed more like the owner of the Rain than Yamamoto Takeshi. "You love Tsuna in the way I never should."
Chrome does not say anything but look at the floor. The light of the aquarium gave off a neon light.
"You made the right decision." Is what she said. It was the only thing she said.
And Yamamoto sighs and says, "I hope so."
"We're going to my branch of the Vongola next week."
Tsunayoushi looks at the person who spoke,-Xanxus. The man with the deep eyes does not even look up as he speaks, he just continues to devour the food in front of him.
"The Varia?" The brown haired man hopes he pronounced the name right.
Xanxus stabs the thick Okonomiyaki and swirls it around the plate with the sauce and vegetables.
"W-will Belphagor and Furan be there?" He had met them enough to know it would be in his bests interests to associate with them as little as possible. Giotto's eyebrows are raised ( but just a bit) and Dino had a confused look on his face. Why would Xanxus take Tsunayoushi there? Sure, he was appointed the president of the Vongola, but Xanxus had never ,ever invited anyone to his headquarters before. How peculiar.
Xanxus snorts. "They work there don't they?"
"Will Squalo at least be there?" Tsunayoushi felt more comfortable with the long haired man there. Even though Squalo was loud, he was very dependable. He remembered once in a family reunion , Xanxus and his lackeys caused a whole elevator to go up in flames. While everyone was frightened, Squalo placed the responsibility on himself ( cursing all the while) to put out the flames. It left a deep impression on Tsunayoushi, that silver haired male with buckets of water, punching out the firemen who attempted to help
. His thoughts were dispersed when he heard the doorbell ring.
"I'll get it." Dino offers.
It was Mukuro.
"Mukuro-kun , thanks for stopping by."
Mukuro's boots collided with the wooden floor, Tsunayoushi 's faces twisted in distaste as the hetero-chromatic man chuckled.
"Kufufu,my apologies." His lips formed an artful smirk. "You know how difficult it is for me and these Japanese customs." He bent down to one knee as he took of his leather boots.
"But you've been living here for seven years!"
The man with the mismatched eyes placed his boots neatly at the entrance.
"On and off my dear, On and off."
" How would you like to join us for dinner?"
When presented with the proposal, Mukuro mock curtsied ( like a prince to a princess). Tsunayoushi laughed.
"That would be lovely."
Mukuro had a long conversation with Tsunayoushi, but the brown haired male does not want to think of it right now. He is sure it will resonate with him sometime later this week. He waves the other man goodbye as he takes his leave.
The rest of the evening consisted of alcohol and mafia films.
" What are you thinking about little brother?" Dino asks Tsunayoushi this when he notices the dis-focused look in the others eyes.
"Well, I think that I'm dreaming right now." He knew that no one in the room could possibly know what he was talking about. They did not know the importance of his words. " That's the only reason no one in this world can become immortal. When you die, you' l l wake up. Then you can be immortal when you go back to whatever world you're supposed to be in. But as long as you're in this one, you just have to keep on living until you wake up."
He looked at everyone else in the room and their expressions. Dino and Giotto seemed surprised for the most part, it wasn't everyday that their smallest brother spoke like this so freely. ( They did not want to admit it, but they were never quite sure just what was going on in Tsunayoushi's mind most of the time.) They were sure, it was the small tid of alcohol that made his tongue slip. And Xanxus ? Xanxus paid no attention as he finished another bottle.
Reborn's eyes flicker from underneath his fedora, his eyes looked like black cats. Filled with mystery and something of a jungle fever. He just stares at Tsunayoushi who turned his head toward Xanxus ( who had now begun to eat all the leftovers). He continues to stare at the small, mousy man for what seemed like an eternity and right when he was to get off his seat,( he did not know what he was doing, but his feet moved on their own) - someone pushes him.
A fierce yet cold push.
Reborn on the floor looks up at the one who had pushed him, and sees Giotto. Giotto standing above him with a confused expression on his face, looking at his hand curiously as if he had never seen them before in his life.
Dino, ( the only sober person in the room) is a bit frightened.
" Excuse me, " Giotto said. He said this in a normal tone, looking at Reborn's onyx eyes. " I don't know what came over me."
Reborn did not say anything for a while ( and Dino knew that in that moment he was thinking devious things on how to get back at the other) and finally says ," It's fine."
"I didn't like the way he was looking at him."
Dino knew who 'he' was. It was Tsunayoushi, the main focus on all Reborn's and Giotto's past quarrels know that he thought about it. But when the elder says it, he can't help but scoff.
"He was looking at him sexually?" Disbelief filled his voice, how could Giotto think, that Tsunayoushi's godfather could think that way? This was Reborn they were talking about. The same Reborn who made them do pushups and situps just for his cruel amusement. Not to mention he was a famous skirt chaser.
Disbelief.
Giotto raised an eyebrow, obviously not amused.
"No," The eldest Sawada crossed his legs. " It was something stronger than that." His eyes turned a bit foggy. "Its hard to explain but it felt like he wanted to eat him. I could just see Reborn getting a fork and a knife, digging right in." Then he wondered about that man who used herbivores and carnivores in his speech pattern, the one he met on the way to Tsunayoushi's bedroom. That man was waiting to use the restroom, but Giotto had wanted to, for the most part snoop through his smaller brother's belongings. He had the right as an elder brother to make sure he wasn't doing anything wrong. That man that he hated on the first meeting would call Reborn carnivore. A predator.
Dino looked at his brother slowly and hard, he moves his gaze to the bottle of alcohol that was opened for everyone, that, and then he looked on the amount everyone had in their shot glasses.
What the fuck were they drinking?
The rest of the week went by too fast.
Everyone was busy with meetings and paperwork, and it is strange to say but Tsunayoushi had grown used to managing a trillion dollar company. He had no visitors for the entire week and a dozen had canceled lunch with him. He understood but it was a bit lonely.
At home Giotto and Dino still saw each other, the only time of the day they would sit around and talk were in meal times. The work was pretty rough. They could not imagine anyone enjoying this torture.
But their friendly neighbor (note the sarcasm) seemed to enjoy it. The busy time of filing paperwork and and barking orders was what Hibari Kyouya was born for. The sense of power was exhilarating, it was made for him. The only issue that he had, but would not admit, was that the work prevented him from seeing the herbivore. Sure, he still saw him because of their lunch agreement, but oftentimes it would just be sent to him by courier, or the herbivore would just hand the food quickly with a ' Hello and Goodbye Hibari-san!".
As Tuesday turned into Wednesday, and Thursday turned into Friday, his bad temper surfaced. He felt that 'thing', that thing 'missing' inside of him grew bigger, and bigger each day. He was sure that if he took off his white collared shirt, there would be a hole in his chest.
" Hibari-san?"
"Herbivore."
Kyouya looks up at the man at the doorway. He had two lunchboxes with drinks on the other hand.
" I-I'm sorry if this is a bit forward or an inconvenience to you .B-but, would you eat lunch with me?"
The charcoal haired man clears the papers off his desk.
" Just don't make a mess."
Tsunayoushi smiled, a smile that brightened the whole room. His cheeks looked like a chipmunk's , his eyes filled with a glimmer that made Kyouya think of the sunshine in Namimori.
At that moment Kyouya grabs the others arm, and does not let go for a while.
They just stare at each other for some time, and then as if nothing happened, sat down and ate their lunch.
Tsunayoushi looks a bit embarrassed and confused, while Kyouya is struck. He had just found what he had been looking for. The advice from that old women, the feeling she gave off, the feeling of his hometown. She told him to find a 'companion', but how could he? He had been alone all his life.
Hibari Kyouya does not understand this logic. All his life he had been searching for something. Knowledge, power, social status . But who were to think it would be here? He had finally found it, what he had been looking for. And in the strangest place possible. All this time it was here. He had finally found what he had been looking for-in Tsunayoushi's eyes.
Tsunayoushi feels compelled to go to the library on Saturday as is promised. But there were several peculiar things that seemed to say 'Don't go'. His car did not start while the engine seemed to be fine. The brown haired male sighed as he wrote in his small notepad 'Call a mechanic.' He walks to the closest bus stop but it arrived 20 minutes off schedule . To make matters worse, someone threw up on the bus and all the passengers had to be relocated to another bus. When he stepped into the next bus, he did not have change and had to pay with 500 yen.
Tsunayoushi dismissed all of these things by calling it his 'bad luck'.
The moment he stepped through the library's pearl gates, he felt something was incredibly wrong. There were no visitors and the whole place was silent and deserted .No hints of life.
The static filled his ears again and he began to panic, wishing, and hoping that Hibari-san would be with him at this very moment. Or Reborn, or just anyone, anybody. He took three steps back . His back to a book shelf. As soon as he applied pressure, the bookcase turned and shifted. Leading him into another room.
Byakuran was seated behind a desk in a white room, but it wasn't the white of the hospitals or even the white of collard shirts. It was nothingness. It seemed to stretch on for eternity, the only thing that was in that room were books. They seemed to be floating alongside a bag of marshmallows half eaten.
"There will be no miracles here," Byakuran laughs lightly as he writes quickly over the clear paper in front of him. He thought the plot twist he had just come up with was great. He opens a drawer next to him and takes out a miniature carousel and hits it twice for good measure. He placed a key next to it. " Darn, I guess it was my imagination when it moved."
Tsunayoushi was star struck. The carousel in his dreams, it was right here! He had to tell Hibari of this, he had to tell him now! But what was Byakuran , the librarian doing with such a thing?
"B-byakuran-san?"
Violet eyes were turned to him, they were smiling. " Hey Tsu-chan!" The white haired man waved. " I wanted us to talk in private, I hope you don't mind."
Tsunayoushi had no choice but to accept. He always had no choice, whether he was aware of it or not.
" A-ah, no i-it is fine." He looks around the place to find some sort of furniture but settles on a floating book. The title was 'On the Electrodynamics of Moving Bodies '.
The white haired man grabbed a handful of skittles from a packet he had opened not too long ago. " Okey-dokey, Tsu-chan. So, besides being a librarian-" He popped a red skittle in his mouth. " I'm a novelist. A prize winning novelist! My pen name is White Orchid, have you heard of me?"
Tsunayoushi's mouth formed into a sharp 'o', Byakuran attempted to throw a green skittle at the others mouth but failed miserably. "I-I have seen your work in every book stand, the critics love them. But I'm afraid I have never read any..."
" You've heard of one, the one I read to the children for instance. That was mine."
The static continued to go strong, and everything around Tsunayoushi looked like an old cassette tape stuck in rewind.
" Ah, I-I see-"
" So basically, my selling point of the books is that it's a running series. It's around it's 34th volume, and it's with the same characters being used. But wait, check this out! It's a different story and setting in each book! Recently, I have become bored in that sort of thought, so I thought , what if-what if the characters finally realize that they are being forced to exist in these books? The characters dream and they think it is reincarnation but it's nothing of that sort! A 'god' has control over them completely. So they struggle with the fact that all that they are are god creating experiences to learn from. They exist only in pure thought. They are a daydream."
Hot vomit poured through Tsunayoushi like a meteor shower unrelenting and grand. He fell to the floor. And as soon as his face hit the floor, and a finger snap from Byakuran they were in a library meeting room.
"Are you ok Tsu-chan? Did you eat something bad?" But the white haired man does not attempt to help the other at all , merely smiling showing neither disgust nor concern.
"Who," Tsunayoushi stops in between heaves. "Who are you!"
Byakuran stands tall, and looks down at the other with cold eyes .
"I'm god."
Then Tsunayoushi realized the meaning of life. Or more like the meaning to his life.
" We are actors confined to our roles."
The white haired man began to clap like a child on his date of birth.
" Bingo Tsu-chan!You get a gold star!"
This was too much for the brown haired man to handle, so he frantically shoots back up and tries to open the door. It is locked.
"You are an actor that I have casted upon for eternity." The white haired man walked closer to him, his steps sounded like death row. "If you'd like you can think of all the books that I wrote as a department store of personalities. I only nitpicked the personalities that I liked for the book I'm currently writing. You should be honored! You are my favorite creation."
Tsunayoushi curled up into a ball, rocking himself slowly back and forth. He does not care when Byakuran begins to pet his hair and sooth his back.
" You are my favorite because you know the pain of a stillborn flesh."
And Tsunayoushi cries because he was never born.
"You were born, don't worry Tsunayoushi. This whole universe that I wrote happened because of two births."
The smaller man who sobbed does not even raise a question to that statement. It was too much for his mind to take and instead asks-
"So in my dreams what do I keep seeing?"
The light in the room was growing dim, the light bulbs popping out violently.
"You may call it your past lives Tsunayoushi-kun, but they are merely all the memories I wrote for you. You see, I created your characters such a long time ago, so I wrote them in different settings and universes. I am a novelist Tsunayoushi-kun. God is a novelist, so what you are seeing is just my different novels and the roles you play in them. Don't you see how strange it was to be a knight in some dreams or a prince or a baker? There was one where you were a mafia boss that could shoot fire out of his hands or something." He laughs. " That one was popular with teenagers."
The static reached a hundredfold, there was a beeping like those Electrocadiogram's in the hospital, those heart pulse monitors. And above everything else Tsunayoushi hears his screams, frantic and desperate.
He is frightened because the room is swirling in different colors and appears to be a colorful kaleidoscope to his eyes. He tries to focus and when he does , he is tied down to an operating table with Byakuran hovering above him with that smile of his.
" I brought you here today," The white haired male says as he prepares a syringe. " Because I wanted your opinion on how the story was going. I'll ask you a question and you'll answer it. Easy right? You are my favorite Tsuna-chan, so I'll let you pick this of your own free will. It's your choice. Your only one."
Tsunayoushi does not seem to comprehend, all he can see is the glimmer of the edge of the syringe.
"I'm debating over whether to have you in a romantic relationship with Hibari again." Wait, what? " I want to be loyal to my fans you know? But then again, I wanted to try writing something different. " All of your stories, I'm sure you know end with you dying. You always die saving him, and besides it would have never worked out between you two. He is too proud, and he cannot love himself much less you. Knowing how its going to end, what is your choice?"
Tsuunayoushi hears clocks ticking. Something inside of him will end very soon. He just knows it, especially when Byakuran finally inserts the needle into his skin.
It is quiet, a silence that sounded like an echo in the mind.
"I choose to love him."
Byakuran begins 'the operation.'
As the other male's hands begin to cut him open and operate, he did not sense a single drop of malice from Byakuran. He probably should hate him, but he doesn't. He forgives him, because what he is doing is not out of ill intention but out of curiosity. Tsunayoushi felt like he was dead, nothingness. The anesthesia was a perfect way to explain nothingness he thought. No dreaming, no color, no memory, not a thing.
When the operation was done he felt revived. And it seems as if no time had passed. He was reborn.
His vision is clogged, but by the relaxed look on Byakuran's face he is sure he shouldn't be cognizant.
Byakuran begins to washes his hands . His back is turned to the brown haired man on the table.
" You are dying just to live once more, why would you hate this fate I have written for you? I have made you immortal ."
Tsunayoushi accepts his destiny, he will sit quietly here waiting for his death. He was always waiting for it. He stops and thinks about his family his friends, everyone that he knew that existed. I'm sure if everyone were conscious of this, he thought, everyone would feel desperate being unable to die. A flame set in his eyes. While he will welcome his death , he cannot accept everyone's destiny.
" When you wake up from this Tsunayoushi-kun, you won't remember a thing. You and me will be reading books to your students and you will be none the wiser. You will still be attempting to find what is 'Carousel' and-"
Tsunayoushi gets up from the table, knocking Byakuran down on the floor in the process. He presses his shoulders together and succeeds in knocking the door down. He goes through it despite the warnings and yells of ' Don't go there! Stop! Tsu-chan, you're being naughty!'.
As soon as he take a step out of the door, the room is turned into that white room without end. And there, in front of him is the small carousel. He does not think, and does what Hibari or Reborn would do. He is sure of it. He grabs the small key ( because something told him that the key was of higher value) and runs , not knowing where the nothingness would take him.
He closes his eyes, and he is running like a madman through the library, out it's pearly gates and into the subway station.
He had changed his destiny when he grabbed the key. It was in his pocket, beating, just like his heart was. He remembers everything that Byakuran had told him.
Just as Tsunayoushi was a noble prince in his dreams, he would try his best to save everyone. His nobility was always something that existed in every life/storybook he existed in. His nobility was what made him stand apart while everyone else around him held no morals. And in all the situations, his desire to become a martyr, a prince, always happened at the most crucial moments. Moments in which he thought he would surely die, moments when everything around him was nothing but pandemonium. And that is because a noble is born in chaos.
Sorry for the late update. College happened.
Thank you so much for the kind support everyone has given me. My other story, if you are a reader of it ( And I Wondered Why It Burned) will get an update soon. I keep on saying 'soon', I'm sorry! Just expect a big update!
Carousel is now in it's Second part, which is called Second Act. So now, the chapter names will not be food ,haha. There were so many scenes I cut out of this chapter because I felt it would be 'too much', so I decided to put them in the next chapter.
Also, I had no idea people have recommended this story! Thank you so much!
Niji-sky had recommended this story to her followers on tumblr, thank you so much for writing all that! I really appreciate it, and I'm sorry I hadn't notice it before.
About the grammar issues, please, please, tell me where you guys find them! I'd like to look over my chapters and correct them but my only issue is time. If anyone would like to be my BETA please don't hesitate to send me a message. Once again, your support means a lot to me.
Thank you.
♠TITLE♠ Carousel
♠RATING ♠ 15+
♠WORDCOUNT♠ 8,547
SUMMARY ♠ In which a group of people's lives are nothing more than a mere orgel. Destined to spin the same tune over, and over, and over again...AlternativeUniverse