47 - Challenge
Title: Contest
Author: mpemba_effect
Characters: Kotone/Ryuu (TNH)
Summary: "Let's see who can get more slaps in the face~"
Notes: Crack Kotone is a sadist. >.< Almost pure dialogue, because I'm lazy.
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"Let's have a contest, Ryuu-chan~"
He should have been scared the first time she said that. Unfortunately, she had bought him a cupcake that day, and so he had "politely" rejected her, not realizing that she was about to get him in the back for it.
"Ryuu-chan~ Let's compete!"
He was scared the second time, mainly because Kotone had broken into his room, found his cake stash, and taken a bite out of one of his many precious brownies. The rest had been taken hostage and jailed in Yuzuki's room - a fortress, really, that Ryuu would not consider entering. It was a marvel that Kotone had made it in herself. But then, "Mitsu-chan" had probably helped with that. Now she was polishing off the brownie with quite some speed, and Ryuu was finding it very difficult to watch. Should he spend the energy needed to go steal it back (and he was likely to be unsuccessful), or watch her eat while starving himself?
It was even scarier that she was threatening to throw away the rest of the food - with that cheerful smiley face.
So he agreed.
* * *
"Let's see who can get more slaps in the face~"
"Are you a masochist?"
"Nope!" Kotone pulled the cherry from her drink (another thing stolen from Ryuu) and speared it with a straw before eating it. She would never touch soda - or anything intended for her mouth, for that matter - with bare hands. "I just want to see you get slapped in the face~"
"...A sadist, then. Forget it." Why was he even sitting here? A waste of naptime.
Oh, right. Food.
He could already feel the effects of his half-hour food and sleep withdrawal.
"And you're not getting your cakes back unless you win~"
"WHAT?!"
Definitely a sadist. Ryuu slammed the table with both hands (the effort!), but when Kotone stared back with that (honestly creepy) grin, he tried a different tactic. The cute face. "Kotone, why are you so mean to me...?"
"Aw, Ryuu, don't hurt the table~ Trees have feelings, too!"
For someone who loved cute things, Kotone was surprisingly immune. He took a moment to bemoan the energy he wasted trying.
"Ah, I have an idea~ If you win, I'll buy you a really big dinner!"
"Will you buy me a cake every day for two years?"
"...Sure~"
"Will you buy me a new pillow whenever I might need one?"
"Okay~"
"Will you try to convince the government to allocate more spending to food? Provide better cooking classes in schools? Buy higher-quality cooking equipment for government employees? Official food and nap-themed holidays? Pay employees with meals and extra breaks? Have mandatory naptimes...?"
"...Fine. (keyword: try)"
"Get a mattress shop named after me?"
"..."
"Remote-control my moving chair for-"
"Aww, Ryuu-chan, you're so demanding, like a little kid~~" Ryuu tried not to whimper as Kotone reached over and stretched out his cheeks (still madly grinning), only releasing them after they had turned an unpleasant, almost purple, color.
...That girl was really scary.
"Provide storage containers for my extra food, then?"
"Yesh~~"
"Deal."
* * *
"Yuzuki, are you done with this salad? I'll go throw the leftovers into the trash."
The short girl glared at him, but did nothing more than snatch back her plate and continue eating. Well, maybe she muttered "idiot" under her breath. It was hard to tell.
"Well, then, do you know how much oil was wasted during the BP Oil spill in 2010?"
*SLAP*
* * *
"Look, Riku-chan, I'm a banana~" When he didn't respond, Kotone raised her voice by about an octave and a half, the kind of annoying singsong voice a little kid would use, with the same sharp increase in pitch during the middle syllable. "BaNAna~"
*SLAP*
"Bananas shouldn't talk."
* * *
"Kyuki, have I-"
"Ever confessed your love for me before? No. But it's okay, I've always known." Kyuki gave Ryuu what was evidently supposed to be a look of sympathy. "I'm sorry to say I cannot requit your feelings, it is like asking a God to try and worship you back-"
I'm really sorry, Kyuki...
"-told you that you are the stupidest, ugliest, weakest, most horrible freak in the world?"
*SLAP*
"With my holy touch, I have exiled the demons that plague you. Give your thanks to the Great Kyuki..."
On second thought, he wasn't sorry at all.
* * *
"Mitsu-chan, is there anything in the world that can make you angry?"
"...I wouldn't tell you if there was."
"Then...Can you pretend to act really angry right now?"
"I have dignity. Sometimes."
*Failed*
A shadow flew over, with a small cream object in its claw...
"...ENYO!"
*SLAP*
"...I was seriously...beaten by an owl...?"
* * *
"You're stupid!"
"You are hopelessly incompetent with insults."
How could you possibly get a slap from an emotionless void? Apparently skill and determination wouldn't cut it. Besides, Ryuu had no determination.
"...You're ugly!"
"..."
"You look like a really bad cake!"
"...Now you're just wasting my time."
"Mitsuru, tell her to slap me."
"...Please slap Ryuu, Kazue."
*SLAP*
* * *
"Ren-chan~ Let's dance~"
"Yesh~"
Well, nothing was better for (not so) accidental slapping than a really wide armspan and random hand-flailing...
*SLAP*
* * *
"Miaki, slap me."
"Why?"
"...Just paint your hand pink, then, and touch my face."
"Ryuu-chan is cheating~ RYUU-CHAN~~"
*Failed*
* * *
"Dan-chan, slap me~"
"No, slap me."
"Slap me, Dan-chan, pwease~"
"...Fine, slap her (I'm too lazy to argue)."
"..."
*slap*
* * *
"You're not getting your cake back, sorry, Ryuu-chan~"
"...All that running around for nothing?"
"...Actually, I was remote-controlling your chair the whole time~ Besides, I said 'if you win.' Not 'if we draw.'"
Ryuu glared at her. Obviously, the cute face was not going to cut it.
Wait a second...
"Kotone!"
"Huh?"
"You are extremely ugly. Just looking at you makes my head hurt. You should seriously get a face-lift, you already look like a forty-year old woman. Not cute at-"
*SLAP*
It took a moment for Kotone to realize a) what she had just done and b) what Ryuu was about to make her do.
"I win~"
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Author: mpemba_effect
Characters: Kotone/Ryuu (TNH)
Summary: "Let's see who can get more slaps in the face~"
Notes: Crack Kotone is a sadist. >.< Almost pure dialogue, because I'm lazy.
-----------------------------------------------------------
"Let's have a contest, Ryuu-chan~"
He should have been scared the first time she said that. Unfortunately, she had bought him a cupcake that day, and so he had "politely" rejected her, not realizing that she was about to get him in the back for it.
"Ryuu-chan~ Let's compete!"
He was scared the second time, mainly because Kotone had broken into his room, found his cake stash, and taken a bite out of one of his many precious brownies. The rest had been taken hostage and jailed in Yuzuki's room - a fortress, really, that Ryuu would not consider entering. It was a marvel that Kotone had made it in herself. But then, "Mitsu-chan" had probably helped with that. Now she was polishing off the brownie with quite some speed, and Ryuu was finding it very difficult to watch. Should he spend the energy needed to go steal it back (and he was likely to be unsuccessful), or watch her eat while starving himself?
It was even scarier that she was threatening to throw away the rest of the food - with that cheerful smiley face.
So he agreed.
* * *
"Let's see who can get more slaps in the face~"
"Are you a masochist?"
"Nope!" Kotone pulled the cherry from her drink (another thing stolen from Ryuu) and speared it with a straw before eating it. She would never touch soda - or anything intended for her mouth, for that matter - with bare hands. "I just want to see you get slapped in the face~"
"...A sadist, then. Forget it." Why was he even sitting here? A waste of naptime.
Oh, right. Food.
He could already feel the effects of his half-hour food and sleep withdrawal.
"And you're not getting your cakes back unless you win~"
"WHAT?!"
Definitely a sadist. Ryuu slammed the table with both hands (the effort!), but when Kotone stared back with that (honestly creepy) grin, he tried a different tactic. The cute face. "Kotone, why are you so mean to me...?"
"Aw, Ryuu, don't hurt the table~ Trees have feelings, too!"
For someone who loved cute things, Kotone was surprisingly immune. He took a moment to bemoan the energy he wasted trying.
"Ah, I have an idea~ If you win, I'll buy you a really big dinner!"
"Will you buy me a cake every day for two years?"
"...Sure~"
"Will you buy me a new pillow whenever I might need one?"
"Okay~"
"Will you try to convince the government to allocate more spending to food? Provide better cooking classes in schools? Buy higher-quality cooking equipment for government employees? Official food and nap-themed holidays? Pay employees with meals and extra breaks? Have mandatory naptimes...?"
"...Fine. (keyword: try)"
"Get a mattress shop named after me?"
"..."
"Remote-control my moving chair for-"
"Aww, Ryuu-chan, you're so demanding, like a little kid~~" Ryuu tried not to whimper as Kotone reached over and stretched out his cheeks (still madly grinning), only releasing them after they had turned an unpleasant, almost purple, color.
...That girl was really scary.
"Provide storage containers for my extra food, then?"
"Yesh~~"
"Deal."
* * *
"Yuzuki, are you done with this salad? I'll go throw the leftovers into the trash."
The short girl glared at him, but did nothing more than snatch back her plate and continue eating. Well, maybe she muttered "idiot" under her breath. It was hard to tell.
"Well, then, do you know how much oil was wasted during the BP Oil spill in 2010?"
*SLAP*
* * *
"Look, Riku-chan, I'm a banana~" When he didn't respond, Kotone raised her voice by about an octave and a half, the kind of annoying singsong voice a little kid would use, with the same sharp increase in pitch during the middle syllable. "BaNAna~"
*SLAP*
"Bananas shouldn't talk."
* * *
"Kyuki, have I-"
"Ever confessed your love for me before? No. But it's okay, I've always known." Kyuki gave Ryuu what was evidently supposed to be a look of sympathy. "I'm sorry to say I cannot requit your feelings, it is like asking a God to try and worship you back-"
I'm really sorry, Kyuki...
"-told you that you are the stupidest, ugliest, weakest, most horrible freak in the world?"
*SLAP*
"With my holy touch, I have exiled the demons that plague you. Give your thanks to the Great Kyuki..."
On second thought, he wasn't sorry at all.
* * *
"Mitsu-chan, is there anything in the world that can make you angry?"
"...I wouldn't tell you if there was."
"Then...Can you pretend to act really angry right now?"
"I have dignity. Sometimes."
*Failed*
A shadow flew over, with a small cream object in its claw...
"...ENYO!"
*SLAP*
"...I was seriously...beaten by an owl...?"
* * *
"You're stupid!"
"You are hopelessly incompetent with insults."
How could you possibly get a slap from an emotionless void? Apparently skill and determination wouldn't cut it. Besides, Ryuu had no determination.
"...You're ugly!"
"..."
"You look like a really bad cake!"
"...Now you're just wasting my time."
"Mitsuru, tell her to slap me."
"...Please slap Ryuu, Kazue."
*SLAP*
* * *
"Ren-chan~ Let's dance~"
"Yesh~"
Well, nothing was better for (not so) accidental slapping than a really wide armspan and random hand-flailing...
*SLAP*
* * *
"Miaki, slap me."
"Why?"
"...Just paint your hand pink, then, and touch my face."
"Ryuu-chan is cheating~ RYUU-CHAN~~"
*Failed*
* * *
"Dan-chan, slap me~"
"No, slap me."
"Slap me, Dan-chan, pwease~"
"...Fine, slap her (I'm too lazy to argue)."
"..."
*slap*
* * *
"You're not getting your cake back, sorry, Ryuu-chan~"
"...All that running around for nothing?"
"...Actually, I was remote-controlling your chair the whole time~ Besides, I said 'if you win.' Not 'if we draw.'"
Ryuu glared at her. Obviously, the cute face was not going to cut it.
Wait a second...
"Kotone!"
"Huh?"
"You are extremely ugly. Just looking at you makes my head hurt. You should seriously get a face-lift, you already look like a forty-year old woman. Not cute at-"
*SLAP*
It took a moment for Kotone to realize a) what she had just done and b) what Ryuu was about to make her do.
"I win~"
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