Fic: Blaze Of Glory (2/?)
Title: Blaze of Glory
Authors: luscious_rebel & mpregloveranon
Pairing: Sam/Dean
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: Mpreg, Character Death (no main characters), H/C
Disclaimer: We just own a kinky imagination. The characters belong to CW, Kripke and whoever else is rightfully making money with them. The title and lyrics belong to Bon Jovi.
Summary: Wild, wild West and we find Dean and Sam in the middle of it. Used to a peaceful living on their parents’ farm Dean’s and Sam’s normal lives change drastically, when they return from a day out in the fields to find their home lit up in flames. Having to leave the only home they ever knew behind, they start their journey across the country on the backs of their horses Impala and Ivory to meet up with their great-uncle. The journey is long and troublesome but both brothers have bigger worries to deal with when Sam discloses a secret.
The story’s inspired by an old prompt on the spnkink_meme that can be found here (big thanks to sexytexanjra, who found the prompt again for us).
Previous Chapter: 1
The boys had woken with the first rays of sunshine peaking into the cave and, even though, they had felt pretty worn out after a night of fitful sleep on the hard cave floor, they had decided to saddle the horses in order to reach the city around noon.
Dean sighed when they spotted the first houses ahead of them, exchanging a concerned look with his brother. “You okay, Sammy?” He asked, handing over his almost empty canteen. “You want some water?” He had keeping a watchful eye on his younger sibling since they had left the caves that morning because Sam’s confession from the night before had left him even more worried about his brother’s welfare than usual. If Sam was indeed pregnant, he would have to care for him and their baby after all.
Sam looked at the canteen he held in his hand after Dean had passed it on to him. Its weight told him that it seemed nearly empty and since he was unsure whether they’d get something else to drink soon he shook his head. “I’m fine.” He handed the canteen back to his brother. “Let’s just try to get over with this.” Neither of them liked the idea of begging nourishment since their parents had raised the two brothers to be proud young men. No matter how hard times got for them their father John always had used to tell them that their dignity was the last they should give away. Sam smiled sadly at the memory of John. Now that he was gone he wondered why he used to fight with him so often. He regretted all the mean words which had gotten exchanged between father and son and inwardly he always did envy Dean for how well he got along with their father. Sometimes it had felt like their mother was the only one who would understand him and his youthful mind. Sam took a little breath and tried to shove those negative thoughts away. Honestly spoken he did look a bit pale that day but who would blame him after what have happened to the two Winchester brothers?
Still a bit concerned by Sam’s pale complexion, Dean took the canteen back and shoved it back into his duffle bag with one hand. “Alright, were almost there, right?” He stated, hoping to lift the spirits a little but failing. He was still out of ideas about what they should do next. They would need food and some changes of clothes wouldn’t hurt either but they didn’t have any money on them. They could try to earn some but he still didn’t want to spend more time in the city than necessary. He was about to actually ask Sam for suggestions when he remembered the Murphys, who were close friends with their parents. They had two daughters around Sam’s age, who pretty obviously had big crushes on his baby brother, and a son around Dean’s own age, who had died a few months back in a tragic riding accident. Dean wasn’t sure if it was such a good plan to intrude on the Murphy’s family life but he was completely out of better options. “I think we should meet up with Jim Murphy and his folks…” He said out of the blue, waiting for Sam’s reaction.
“The Murphy family?” Of course Sam knew them. Actually he got along well with the oldest daughter of Jim and Karen Murphy. He remembered a Sunday morning when she had shown up at church. The girl had been sweet enough to bake some cookies for him. Sam sighed lowly. “We should give it a try…” There wasn’t anything better he could think of in their current situation.
Nodding Dean steered his horse down the road. “Yeah, they’re good people,” he pointed out as if he needed to convince himself that asking those people for help would be okay. Their parents would also have helped the Murphy kids out if the roles were reversed, he thought to himself and felt a lump forming in his throat at the mere thought of their late parents.
“They are,” Sam confirmed. He took a deep breath. “We have to try it, Dean. There’s not much of another chance…”
Dean nodded again but fell silent until they finally reached the outskirts of the small city. The air was instantly buzzing with noises of people talking, moving around, going after their daily business as soon as they steered their horses into the first narrow alleys. Dean started scanning the crowd for familiar faces as he tried to remember where exactly the Murphys lived.
Sam studied his brother’s face. “I’m sure they lived in the road in which the drugstore is located,” he helped him out. Years of growing up together made Sam able to read Dean’s facial expression pretty well.
“Yeah, you’re right,” the older brother confirmed and navigated Impala through the streets towards the mentioned house. It was early afternoon and everyone was coming out of their houses after lunch to take up their chores. Dean made a left at the next corner and saw the wooden sign above the drugstore.
Sam and Ivory where right beside Dean and his horse, and while Sam led his mare down the street, he caressed her neck. He couldn’t help liking the old lady she was. It was Sam who first recognized the building he remembered the Murphys living in so he jumped off Ivory’s back and was a little surprised when he felt his legs being somewhat shaky. Quickly he gained back his composure and went to tie up Ivory’s rein to one of the wooden bars the small town provided.
The front door of the small town house opened and a blonde girl stepped outside, looking back at another older, dark haired girl still inside the house, and therefore walking straight into Sam. “Oh, I’m sorry, I…” She started apologizing but then her eyes went wide and a shy blush formed on her cheeks. “Hi, Sam.”
“Uhm… ehr.. uhm… hi.” Now that wasn’t quite how Sam had pictured this meeting. “Eleanor… Rachel…” He bowed his head a little to say hello.
The older girl stepped forward and let her gaze wander between both brothers. They both looked pretty worn out, their eyes red and underlain by dark smudges, their shoulders hanging as if they were beyond exhaustion. “What happened?” She just blurted out, a little intrigued.
Sam sighed. “May we come in and talk to you and your parents?” His voice sounded like he was too done to get through the same explanation twice, yet he kept his polite behavior.
“Of course you can.” Eleanor said and took a step aside to let pass through the door. “They are still in the kitchen. We just had lunch.”
“Thank you.” Sam gave her a little bow again before he turned to Dean. Now they had to come out with the truth about their visit and his eyes showed that Sam didn’t like that fact. He wasn’t sure how to start this and he hoped that Dean had a better plan on how to explain their situation than he himself did, while they both were led into the kitchen and Rachel announced their arrival to her parents. Mr. Murphy looked up from the table which his wife was about to clean and he was surprised to see the Winchester brothers slowly approaching his wife and him.
“Hello Mr. Murphy.” Dean shook the man’s hand and nodded at his wife. “Mrs. Murphy.” He paused at a loss of words, trying to find a way to put all the necessary information into as few words as possible without sounding impolite but without choking up either. The curious eyes observing him somehow pressured him into saying something already. “We…” He lowered his gaze for a second and took a deep breath before looking back up at Jim Murphy. “We didn’t want to intrude, Sir, but we need help.”
“Help?” Mr. Murphy sounded surprised as his gaze locked with Dean’s. Meanwhile Mrs. Murphy lowered the towel she was holding and stepped a little closer while Rachel and Eleanor kept on standing in the background. The girls were more than curious about what Dean and Sam Winchester had to tell, but they too sensed that the situation seemed to be tough for them so they held back from asking any questions and rather let their father take the lead in the conversation. One could practically feel how the atmosphere in the little kitchen had changed the moment the two brothers had stepped in. “What is it, boy?” Mrs. Murphy asked with her usual calm and kind voice. The little frown on her face showed that she seemed to worry about the unexpected guests. Why would Dean and Sam Winchester come to her family to ask for help?
Dean cleared his throat, feeling uncomfortable, but he knew that there was no turning back now. They had come to these people’s home and he had already started asking for their help, so he would have to give them answers first. “Our farm was attacked… We had taken the horses for a ride and when we came home there were those men, who… torched the house and… they were armed…” He broke off to take another deep breath intending on getting the whole story out in one go. “We saw them… They shot our…” His voice finally broke and held a hand to his trembling lips, his eyes watering with tear he didn’t want to spill in front of anyone.
Sam had held back, while Deans poke, but as he heard him voice the things he would love to forget, he couldn’t hold back his tears. He felt sorry. Sorry for Dean. Sorry for their parents. Sorry for their loss. Sorry for the Murphys who suddenly had to listen to such cruel news without ever being asked whether they wanted to hear such unpleasant things. “They shot our parents,” he managed to press out, his voice thin with tears, and with that he also managed to finish the sentence Dean hadn’t been able to bring to an end.
Rachel and Eleanor sharply drew in their breaths while Mrs. Murphy clasped at her mouth with her hands, while she still held the towel. “Oh my God…” was all she managed to bring out from behind her fingers, while some tears started to fill her eyes. Mary and John were… dead?
Right in that moment a thin wail pierced the air and let all head in the room swivel around toward the kitchen door. Dean’s moist eyes widened, when he saw the young woman, who was probably even a year or two younger than him, with the baby in her arms in the doorway.
“Molly…” Mr. Murphy spoke up. “Welcome back. Please take a seat. We got visitors,” he quickly explained. Molly was the woman his son had married shortly before he had died. A beautiful young lady, who now lived with the Murphys, who helped her to raise her son and therefore their grandson. Molly being the polite woman, she was, nodded in agreement. “I didn’t mean to interrupt you,” she excused herself before she sat down.
Meanwhile Sam’s teary eyes were locked with the baby on her arm and he sobbed even more as his thoughts automatically trailed off to the second problem in the lives of the young Winchesters, which neither Dean nor Sam himself had mentioned, yet.
Seeing his brother’s reaction to the baby, Dean also tensed where he was standing. He wanted to pull Sam into a hug, because his brother looked like he really needed to be comforted, but he forced himself to stay still and go ahead with the awkward conversation. “We hid outside because we were afraid to go back and there would be nothing left because of the fire anyway… So we came here…” He didn’t want to sound like he was begging, so he quickly mentioned their actual plan. “We have a great-uncle in Texas… We just need to get a few provisions and…” He shrugged, searching for the right way to phrase his request.
“Of course, boy,” Mr. Murphy nodded. “We’ll see how we can help you out. Why don’t you take a seat first of all? My wife will get you something to eat and drink and afterwards you should take a bath.”
The kind offer overwhelmed Dean and he could only nod gratefully, too choked up to speak. Apparently they had made the right decision in coming to the Murphys’ for help and he was incredibly relieved about it because he didn’t have a backup plan. They would accept these people’s hospitality and hopefully get some food and supplies to hit the road again in a couple of days.
Mrs. Murphy eventually made Dean and Sam sit down and rushed to warm up some leftovers of the lunch her family had just had.
It was Rachel who started to help her mother while Eleanor stepped closer to the table. “I’m sorry for your loss,” she spoke up and reached out to stroke over Dean’s lower arm because he was the one sitting closest to her and she couldn’t reach Sam who still looked a little paler than before they had entered the house. He was glad that the Murphy family would help them but he, too, was overwhelmed by the situation.
Dean gave Rachel a forced, tight-lipped half-smile in acknowledgement, still not sure he could trust his voice to sound steady, yet. He slightly turned his head to take a look at his brother and felt the heaviness inside his chest become even worse, when he saw how ashen and positively ill Sam looked. Dean could only guess that Molly’s baby was the reason for his brother’s unease and he couldn’t even blame him, as he himself was also reminded of their additional dilemma. If Sam really turned out to be pregnant the whole idea of travelling to Texas would probably not work out at all. It would be hard enough to make the long journey all by themselves, needing to find ways to get food and maybe earn some money on the way. With Sam pregnant they would have to travel much slower and, at the same time, would have serious time pressure because they would need to reach Bobby before the baby was due. Dean rubbed a clammy hand over his face, feeling his head starting to ache as he thought about their situation.
“C’mon boys… You look terrible. You should eat,” Mrs. Murphy reminded Dean and Sam when she served them some soup with additional potatoes. She also offered them some milk.
Eleanor had taken a seat next to Sam and reached out her small hand to wrap delicate fingers around his hand and squeeze it comfortingly. She had her sisters and parents with her but they had lost Jimmy only a couple of months ago and were still grieving, too, so she felt like she could relate to Sam and Dean’s loss.
The younger Winchester lifted his head barely enough to give her a faint smile in return to her kind gesture. “Thank you,” he mumbled and squeezed her hand slightly before he let go of it, so he could start eating. But first of all he addressed Mr. and Mrs. Murphy and nodded his head politely to thank them for the offered lunch.
“You can spend the night here, boys, you look like you need some good rest before starting your journey,” Mr. Murphy pointed out after quietly observing the two young men who had come to him asking for help. “Molly and the baby can sleep with the girls and you can take her room.”
Sam blinked at that. “Really?” He looked up to get an impression of Mr. Murphy’s facial expression. To see his caring smile made him feel relieved but he turned to Molly and the girls. He wasn’t sure whether they would like that idea.
“You must be exhausted. Just eat up and I can run you boys a hot bath,” Mrs. Murphy suggested as she finished rinsing the dishes and walked out of the kitchen without waiting for any answer.
“I will help you and please don’t worry. I’ll gladly share a room with Eleanor and Rachel for tonight,” Molly spoke up. She slowly got up and turned to Rachel, whom she handed her baby. Molly softly caressed the boy’s forehead before she went after Mrs. Murphy to help her with the bath for the young Winchester boys.
They finished their meal in silence until Mr. Murphy finally addressed his daughters. “Please, show Dean and Sam their room and tell your mother I need to speak with her,” he asked them in his deep, rumbling voice and both girls immediately stood up from their seats waiting for the Winchesters to follow them upstairs.
Their room turned out to be small but neat. Molly was not only politely but a person, who used to keep her room tidy and filled with fresh air, which could invade the room through a wide open wooden window. The bed wasn’t too big but it would suit the simple purpose of getting a comfortable night sleep. Across from it there was a little cradle in which Molly’s son used to sleep. Spotting it was enough to send shivers down Sam’s spine. Rachel spoke up first. “I hope you like your room. Would you like to follow me to the bathroom so you can enjoy your bath before getting some rest?” To her it didn’t seem necessary to stay in the room any longer since neither Dean nor Sam carried any luggage, which they would have to unpack.
Dean entered the bathroom right behind Rachel and took a quick look around, spotting a clean towel laid out for them, as well as some fresh clothes neatly piled onto a chair next to the large, brass tub filled with steaming hot water. He guessed that the clothes would either belong to Mr. Murphy himself or probably have belonged to his late son. “Thank you,” he replied to Rachel and watched her leaving the room to give him and Sam some privacy. As his eyes caught a glimpse of his brother’s ghastly pale face, he got worried. “Are you okay, Sammy? You look a bit green around the edges… Do you need to sit down?”
“I… It’s just a bit too hot inside here,” Sam told him while he forced a little smile onto his lips. “I’ll wait outside for a bit so the water can cool down…”
“Okay, but call me if you need anything,” Dean replied, still in concerned big brother mode. He waited for Sam’s nod and then started to strip out of his dusty clothes, as soon as he was alone in the room.
While Dean was busy taking a hot steamy bath, Sam made it back to the room they would share that night. He knew Dean loved hot baths, so he hoped that his brother could enjoy it a bit and wouldn’t worry too much. Sam found himself being ripped out of his thoughts about Dean when he noticed that Molly was inside the room he had just entered. “Oh… um… sorry…” he quickly started to excuse himself, while he watched her placing her son in the cradle. “Uhm… we need to bring it to the girls’ room so the baby can stay with you, huh?” He asked while he nodded in the direction of the cradle.
“Yes, I was about to move it into their room,” Molly confirmed with a soft smile. “You look exhausted, why don’t you sit down for a second,” she offered and sat down on the edge of the bed, patting the mattress next to her. “Jamie is asleep so there’s no need to hurry. You can help me to move the crib later, if you don’t mind…”
Sam gave her a little smile. “Thank you. Of course I’ll help,” he let her know before he walked closer to the bed to eventually sit down. As soon as he did he felt some tension leaving his body and his shoulders slumped down a little bit.
“I’m sorry for your loss,” the young woman told Sam softly, brushing a hand over her own moist eyes as her mind travelled back to the fateful day she had lost her husband. “If you need someone to talk to, you can come to me.” She mustered a shy but honest smile.
“You seem brave… I heard about your loss and I’m sorry too,” Sam told her. “Yet you have a wonderful little son left. I’m sure his existence helps you to deal with your loss, hm?”
Molly’s watery smile was still firmly in place as she made an effort to stay strong. “Yes, he looks so much like his father and I’m just so thankful that he at least got to know him. Jamie wasn’t even two months old, when the accident happened.”
“That must be hard… for both of you…” Sam reached out to softly place his hand on Molly’s shoulder. “But you have something it’s worth living for…” He nodded over toward the cradle. “You seem to love Jamie a lot. May I ask… was he… uhm… did you plan on his birth?”
The young mother was slightly confused by the question but kindly answered it nonetheless. “We were married and we both wanted children. Both wished for a little boy even,” she admitted with a faraway look on his face.
“I heard there are people out there who don’t want children, but get some nonetheless…” Sam quietly spoke up to explain himself. “I must be a joy to have one when you really want one.” It seemed like he couldn’t really bring himself to use words like ‘children’ or ‘babies’ in this context.
Nodding in agreement, Molly fixed her soft brown eyes on Sam. “Yes, it is. It’s a blessing and I thank God everyday for giving me Jamie before he took Jimmy away from me.”
The young Winchester smiled upon hearing that. “Sounds good indeed. So… how did you know you were pregnant in first place?”
“Well,” Molly searched for the right words to answer the odd and fairly personal question. “I was feeling a bit sick and dizzy sometimes… and Mrs. Murphy came and talked to me when she noticed it… It was actually her who noticed I might be pregnant first.”
“So you didn’t notice it at all?”
“I guess not…” She shrugged timidly. “How was I supposed to know how it felt to be pregnant? I thought I was just a little sick but then when it started to show, I wondered how I ever could not have known.”
“So in fact one only can wait until it shows?” That wasn’t exactly what Sam had hoped to hear. After all he just started this questioning round because he had hoped to find out about his own state of being. He still wondered whether he really was pregnant or not.
Molly frowned at Sam and then reached out to lay her hand on his. “Why are you asking me all of this?” She asked calmly, searching for eye contact. “This is more than just random curiosity, isn’t it?”
“I…” Sam blushed at her sudden question. For some reason he hadn’t expected her to get curious because of his behavior. “I just… need to know.”
“It’s okay,“ she quickly assured him, when she realized how uncomfortable he looked all of a sudden. “I guess after some time a girl just knows she’s having a baby. I was just a bit naive maybe… I was feeling really tired and sore, sometimes nauseated by the smell of food or dizzy when I stood up too quickly. Those were all signs but I just didn’t read them right.” She smiled encouragingly.
“I heard that one also would… uhm… I heard that the period… you know… it’s said it’d stop…” Sam blushed like his head would turn into the bright red of a tomato when he spluttering managed to press out his words.
The young woman was still a bit puzzled by Sam’s curiosity. “Yes, that’s true but it doesn’t happen right away. I just…” Suddenly the baby stared crying and she instinctively stood up from the bed and went over to the small crib to pull her son into her arms. Rocking the infant she turned back to Sam with an apologetic smile. “I’m sorry but he sometimes gets fussy and wants some attention.”
A bit surprised by the request Molly moved back to the bed and carefully passed the still wailing baby into Sam’s arms. “He likes to be rocked,” she mentioned and sat back down next to the teen, watching him handle the baby with extreme caution and reluctance.
“Oh…” Sam seemed surprised by her offer and his eyes stared at the infant in visible astonishment. “How do I… How do I hold him?” He tried to do it right and it was obvious that he seemed worried about making any mistake.
Smiling, Molly adjusted his hands and arms a little. “It’s okay, you won’t hurt him. You just have to stabilize his head, see?” She smiled down at the red-faced child and cooed. “Mommy’s here, Jamie. Stop crying or you’ll scare off our guest.” When she looked up at Sam, she saw how his features had softened and he wasn’t holding himself as stiff anymore.
It was true, holding a little baby felt just as good as Sam had always imagined. He smiled brightly as he got lost in the moment and watched the facial expression of the baby while he carefully started to rock it in his big arms. It seemed to help because Jamie calmed down and this made Sam feel even better. His eyes were glistering with upcoming tears. Jamie seemed to be such a healthy little boy. He wondered if Dean’s and his child would be just as healthy in case he’d really have to give birth in some months.
“You seem to be a natural with babies,” Molly pointed out warmly, gazing at Sam and her son. “One day you’ll be a great dad.”
“You think so?” Sam’s gaze quickly moved away from the baby to look at Molly’s face. He didn’t even notice how a serene expression crept up onto his face while one of his hands reached out for his belly to touch it softly.
As small as the unconscious gesture had been, it didn’t go past Molly’s watchful eyes and suddenly realization hit her. She had been assuming that Sam was afraid that he might have impregnated a girl and that he therefore had asked her all the questions about pregnancy, but now she was pretty sure that it hadn’t been about a girl. Molly had grown up in a small village not that far away and she was used to the stereotypical family structure of a husband and his wife who usually had several children. Her cousin, who lived in a big city, though, had once told her that sometimes men lived together and also bore each other’s children. “You’re not asking me all those questions because of your… girlfriend, are you?” She inquired tentatively.
“What?” Sam blinked at her question. “No.” He shook his head before his eyes turned back to Jamie and he gave him another smile as he brushed his fingertip over the tiny hand of the infant.
Molly tried to sound as kind and understanding as possible. She had also heard that her cousin and apparently many people didn’t approve of the lifestyle those few man had and as a good Christian, who went to mass every Sunday, she also knew that the Bible also condoned a man lying with another man. Nonetheless Sam didn’t seem to be a bad person and she couldn’t understand why loving someone could be a bad thing, so she tried to be open-minded towards him. “I didn’t want to ask inappropriate questions or to make you feel uncomfortable,” she assured him and kept observing him closely, waiting for his reaction.
“Huh?” Sam looked up at her again. This time he frowned a little. “Why would you?”
Now it was Molly’s turn to be awkward and shy. She felt a light blush forming on her cheeks but she held Sam’s gaze. “Do you think that… you might be…”
Sam bit his bottom lip. What was he supposed to answer? He didn’t want her to freak out but on the other side Molly looked like a kind young woman so eventually he nodded slightly. Not able to look into her eyes, he turned his head to look at the peaceful sleeping baby in his arms.
Gently rubbing Sam’s arm, sighed inwardly, feeling sorry for the young man, who all of a sudden appeared to have shrunk right in front of her eyes. “It’ll be okay,” Molly promised for lack of other things to say. She had no idea if Sam would really be okay but she genuinely wished the best for him.
“I hope you’re right…” Sam’s voice sounded teary again but he still tried to give Molly a smile. “Thanks for answering my questions… Jamie’s wonderful.”
Molly smiled back at Sam and was about to say something when Dean appeared in the doorway, wearing some the fresh clothes Mr. Murphy had provided for them. “Hey, Sammy, I was wondering why you didn’t come back…”
The younger Winchester nearly shrieked at Dean’s sudden appearance. He had been so caught up in his talk with Molly that he hadn’t noticed his brother coming in. He wondered what kind of impression he would give Dean, who could clearly see him sitting on the bed with Molly and a little baby on his arm. Instantly the feeling of guilt washed over Sam as he imagined that Dean wouldn’t be fond to see him like that. It was hard enough for them that he likely carried a baby and winding up in joy about being able to cradle a little infant onto his chest, felt like stabbing Dean in the back, for Sam knew very well that any longing for a child was totally out of place within their current situation. Hell, it wasn’t like he wanted a baby. He was afraid of having to carry a baby to term. “I’m coming,” he quickly spoke up.
Accepting Jamie back into her arms, Molly stood up and walked past both brothers, turning back in the doorway. “I’ll come back later to get his crib,” she explained and left the Winchesters to themselves.
Dean stared at his flushed brother and lifted one eyebrow but didn't start questions, yet. He could clearly see that Sam wasn't in the mood to talk to him right now, so he just let it go. "The water's still warm and there are clothes that might fit you. I'll wait for you in here."
“Ok.” Sam gave Dean a hurried nod before he left the room and headed to the bathroom where he was planning on enjoying a bath, too. The water wasn’t as hot anymore as it had been when Mrs. Murphy and Molly had filled it but it still helped Sam to relax a little. The solitude was needed by then and he used it to place his hand on his belly and start little explorations, yet he couldn’t feel much of a big change. Molly had said that at some point she had just known she was pregnant, so maybe it was the same with him and he didn’t need any visible proof. Maybe his guess was enough. Leaning back against the rim of the bathtub he gave a little sigh and closed his eyes while he continued to caress his belly. Maybe, just maybe things wouldn’t be as bad as he had expected them to become.
Chapter 3