(no subject)
Mr Chris Varney (1:41:12 AM): And then, that's what I've done all day aside from going to the mall, and sleeping.
Mr Chris Varney (1:41:24 AM): And now I'm sitting here listening to "Dirty Pop".
Mr Chris Varney direct connection is closed (1:42:24 AM).
highfiveJuNKie (1:45:06 AM): oh my gad
highfiveJuNKie (1:45:14 AM): dirty pop
Mr Chris Varney (1:45:17 AM): lol
highfiveJuNKie (1:45:20 AM): d-d-d-d-irty pop
highfiveJuNKie (1:45:26 AM): That song is one huge inside joke
Mr Chris Varney (1:45:45 AM): Between who?
Mr Chris Varney (1:45:50 AM): You and the rest of the world?
Mr Chris Varney (1:46:06 AM): Aside from the Dali-Llama, because I hear he doesn't listen to muci.
Mr Chris Varney (1:46:08 AM): music*
highfiveJuNKie (1:48:39 AM): lol
highfiveJuNKie (1:48:45 AM): me and the camp WInaca girls
highfiveJuNKie (1:48:50 AM): mainly me and Leza
Mr Chris Varney (1:48:54 AM): The whatta?
highfiveJuNKie (1:48:57 AM): we had this huge thing going on
Mr Chris Varney (1:49:01 AM): Okay.
highfiveJuNKie (1:49:06 AM): and all the rest of our cabin had no idea wtf was going on
Mr Chris Varney (1:49:10 AM): Oh okay.
Mr Chris Varney (1:49:13 AM): I'm gettin' you now.
highfiveJuNKie (1:49:20 AM): there were also jokes about rabid chipmunks and pygmies
Mr Chris Varney (1:49:32 AM): Everyone loves a pygmy.
highfiveJuNKie (1:49:51 AM): mmhm
highfiveJuNKie (1:50:03 AM): but what about the EVIL pygmies????
highfiveJuNKie (1:50:11 AM): who have rabid chipmunks for their pets
Mr Chris Varney (1:50:15 AM): Tomato, tomatoe.
highfiveJuNKie (1:50:16 AM): There's even a song
Mr Chris Varney (1:50:20 AM): They're all evil.
highfiveJuNKie (1:50:47 AM): "The rabid chipmunk ate my friend. He will eat your friend too. I'd rather have him eat my friend, than have him eat my shoe"
Mr Chris Varney (1:50:57 AM): Oh! And I thought you should know that, sweet dreams are made of this.
highfiveJuNKie (1:51:00 AM): "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRabid Chipmunk"
highfiveJuNKie (1:51:10 AM): "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRabid chipmunk"
Mr Chris Varney (1:51:14 AM): Because shoes are hot.
highfiveJuNKie (1:51:24 AM): "He can eat your friend he can eat your friend too"
Mr Chris Varney (1:51:37 AM): I'd like to see that bitch try.
Mr Chris Varney (1:51:55 AM): I'd throw something at it.
Mr Chris Varney (1:52:03 AM): Or, at least run away like a little girl.
highfiveJuNKie (1:52:09 AM): "The rabid chipmunk ate my friend. He likes to wink and flirt. I'd rather have him eat my friend, than have him eat my shirt"
Mr Chris Varney (1:52:17 AM): Screaming, and arms flailing about. You know.
highfiveJuNKie (1:52:17 AM): "rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrraaaaaabid chipmunk"
highfiveJuNKie (1:52:25 AM): "RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAABID CHIPMUNK:
highfiveJuNKie (1:52:27 AM): etc etc
highfiveJuNKie (1:52:30 AM): there are many verses
Mr Chris Varney (1:52:39 AM): You wrote that, didn't you?
highfiveJuNKie (1:52:43 AM): it's all because of a camp song called "alligator"
Mr Chris Varney (1:52:50 AM): oh.
Mr Chris Varney (1:53:00 AM): I know a similar song called "Shark Attack".
Mr Chris Varney (1:53:17 AM): Using your arms, hands, and legs, you rock the shit.
highfiveJuNKie (1:53:18 AM): and to the camp's most serious song---\
highfiveJuNKie (1:54:25 AM): "It only takes a rabid chipmunk, to get the rabies going, and to all those around, they cannot stop their foaming. That's how it is with Rabies, once you've experienced it. You want to bite, you want to scream, you want to pass it on"
Mr Chris Varney (1:54:47 AM): Just like Herpes.
highfiveJuNKie (1:54:50 AM): haha
Mr Chris Varney (1:55:19 AM): Oh, and I also want you to know that, I got the magic stick.
highfiveJuNKie (1:55:45 AM): it actually goes "It only takes a spark, to get the fire going. and to all those around, they warm up to it's glowing. That's how it is with God's love, once you've experienced it. You want to sing, you want to (somethign i dont' remember). You want to pass it on."
Mr Chris Varney (1:56:01 AM): Nice...
highfiveJuNKie (1:56:01 AM): so we butchered it
highfiveJuNKie (1:56:06 AM): and got in trouble for singing it
highfiveJuNKie (1:56:06 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (1:56:07 AM): Good job.
Mr Chris Varney (1:56:23 AM): I'd have to say, my favorite church camp song is:
highfiveJuNKie (1:56:55 AM): Gone swimming doot doo doot doot doo, Gone swimming doot doo doot doot doo, Gone swimming doot doo doot doot doo, gone swimming
highfiveJuNKie (1:57:11 AM): baby shark doot doo doot doot doo, baby shark doot doo doot doot doo, baby shark doot doo doot doot doo, baby shark
highfiveJuNKie (1:57:19 AM): then it does the doot doot etc after:
Mr Chris Varney (1:58:10 AM): "Supernatural; he walked on the water. Supernatural; he built a sidewalk through the sea. Supernatural; he cause the blind to see. Supernaturalllllllyyyy! Oh where, Superman when you need a helping hand. Don't look for Wonder Woman when trouble's really brewin'. And please don't count on Batman, when dangers you must face."
highfiveJuNKie (1:58:16 AM): daddy shark, gramdma shark, shark attack, where's my arm, swim away, CPR... etc
highfiveJuNKie (1:58:49 AM): "Tarzan, swingin from a rubberband, Tarzan, crashed into a frying pan.... now Tarzan has a tan"
highfiveJuNKie (1:59:11 AM): "Jane, flying in her airplane, Jane, crashed into a freeway lane... now Jane has a pain"
highfiveJuNKie (1:59:33 AM): "Cheetah, rockin to the beat-ah, Cheetah, got ate by an amoeba... now Cheeta is Velveeta"
highfiveJuNKie (1:59:37 AM): and there's more
highfiveJuNKie (1:59:37 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (1:59:47 AM): I've heard that one too.
highfiveJuNKie (1:59:52 AM): i love it
highfiveJuNKie (2:00:16 AM): "YOU CAN'T RIDE IN MY LITTLE RED WAGOn, FRONT WHEEL'S BROKEN AND THE AXLE'S DRAGGIN'"
highfiveJuNKie (2:00:29 AM): chug CHUG chug CHUG chuggalugga lug AY!
highfiveJuNKie (2:00:40 AM): i miss camp =(
Mr Chris Varney (2:00:47 AM): Hmm.
Mr Chris Varney (2:00:51 AM): I'm not sure if I do or not.
Mr Chris Varney (2:00:55 AM): No, no I don't.
Mr Chris Varney (2:01:01 AM): I went to Camp Happy Valley.
Mr Chris Varney (2:01:23 AM): Where the water made you laugh for no reason. I think it was infected with the Jesus.
highfiveJuNKie (2:01:45 AM): HAHAHAH!
highfiveJuNKie (2:01:56 AM): I just about spit soup everywhere
Mr Chris Varney (2:02:39 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:02:41 AM): nice
highfiveJuNKie (2:05:48 AM): and i quoted you in my info thing
Mr Chris Varney (2:05:59 AM): aww.
Mr Chris Varney (2:05:55 AM): I just cried, and peed a little bit.
highfiveJuNKie (2:06:03 AM): yay!
highfiveJuNKie (2:06:04 AM): well
highfiveJuNKie (2:06:05 AM): no
highfiveJuNKie (2:06:12 AM): that's actually gross.
Mr Chris Varney (2:06:18 AM): Oh, whatever.
Mr Chris Varney (2:06:28 AM): I'm sitting on a bedpan? Does that make it betteR?
highfiveJuNKie (2:06:34 AM): ....
highfiveJuNKie (2:06:35 AM): no
highfiveJuNKie (2:06:43 AM): you sick-o!
Mr Chris Varney (2:07:01 AM): Damn.
Mr Chris Varney (2:07:51 AM): But, no, I'm serious about that water.
Mr Chris Varney (2:07:53 AM): It was weird.
Mr Chris Varney (2:08:08 AM): When my brother got too old, he would have me bring him a jug back.
highfiveJuNKie (2:08:08 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:08:14 AM): Then sit in his room for about... a week.
highfiveJuNKie (2:08:21 AM): maybe it was moonshine
Mr Chris Varney (2:08:27 AM): Probably.
Mr Chris Varney (2:08:33 AM): Sick sadistic bastards.
Mr Chris Varney (2:08:41 AM): "I KNOW A WAY TO KEEP THE KIDS HAPPY!"
highfiveJuNKie (2:08:47 AM): They wanted you to see Jesus.
Mr Chris Varney (2:09:08 AM): Well, they had a look alike, so we saw him every night.
Mr Chris Varney (2:09:13 AM): That's close enough for me.
highfiveJuNKie (2:09:22 AM): haha
highfiveJuNKie (2:09:24 AM): oh man
Mr Chris Varney (2:09:40 AM): He would come out, and witness to us all around the fire, then a puff of smoke, and you could hear him running away.
highfiveJuNKie (2:09:49 AM): ...
Mr Chris Varney (2:09:55 AM): I'm dead serious.
Mr Chris Varney (2:09:55 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:10:01 AM): Fuckin' parlor tricks.
highfiveJuNKie (2:10:12 AM): that's sick
highfiveJuNKie (2:10:27 AM): MOMMY MOMMY! I SAW JESUS AT CAMP!
highfiveJuNKie (2:10:37 AM): AND HE INVITED ME TO SLEEP IN HIS BED!
highfiveJuNKie (2:10:52 AM): AND HE LOOKED REALLY REALLY PALE WITH A TINY NOSE.
Mr Chris Varney (2:10:56 AM): Whenever we were done praying, he'd throw something down, and it'd make a bunch of smoke, then you could hear twigs and stuff cracking and breaking.
Mr Chris Varney (2:10:58 AM): Totally.
Mr Chris Varney (2:11:06 AM): Michael Jackson = The Messiah.
highfiveJuNKie (2:11:10 AM): hahahahaha!
highfiveJuNKie (2:11:18 AM): i about choked again
Mr Chris Varney (2:11:27 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:11:35 AM): I'm on top of my game tonight.
Mr Chris Varney (2:11:37 AM): Methinks.
Mr Chris Varney (2:12:01 AM): But, Jesus had awesome shoes.
highfiveJuNKie (2:12:06 AM): NEAT!
Mr Chris Varney (2:12:12 AM): The last time I was there he was sporting Nikes.
highfiveJuNKie (2:12:13 AM): i thought he was barefoot
highfiveJuNKie (2:12:23 AM): and in a diaper thing
Mr Chris Varney (2:12:37 AM): No. No. That's Michael Jackson again.
highfiveJuNKie (2:12:44 AM): OOoooooooh
highfiveJuNKie (2:12:53 AM): I get those two confused so easily
Mr Chris Varney (2:12:57 AM): I know.
Mr Chris Varney (2:13:05 AM): MJ, JC, and GW.
Mr Chris Varney (2:13:11 AM): They're all so much alike.
highfiveJuNKie (2:13:26 AM): Geoge Washington???~?~?~!!??!!?!?!?!?!?
highfiveJuNKie (2:13:32 AM): He had a sweet wig
Mr Chris Varney (2:13:38 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:13:41 AM): GWB then.
Mr Chris Varney (2:14:54 AM): I've always been more a fan of GW's teeth stories, myself.
Mr Chris Varney (2:15:01 AM): Who wouldn't love to have wooden teeth.
highfiveJuNKie (2:15:02 AM): them wooden teeth
highfiveJuNKie (2:15:07 AM): haha i love those stories
Mr Chris Varney (2:15:20 AM): Gyahd. We're such historians.
highfiveJuNKie (2:15:25 AM): liek the time he thought he was eating potato chips, when really it was just his teeth decaying
Mr Chris Varney (2:15:33 AM): I know.
Mr Chris Varney (2:15:34 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:15:40 AM): That one gets me every time.
Mr Chris Varney (2:15:47 AM): Oh, God, he was such a cut up.
highfiveJuNKie (2:15:56 AM): Almost as good as the time Jesus went to trial for molesting little boys.
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:09 AM): I know.
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:11 AM): Wait...
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:14 AM): MJ, again.
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:17 AM): Oh damn
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:22 AM): It's okay.
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:28 AM): I can NOT keep from mixing them up
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:29 AM): I'm sure it happened to JC a few times.
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:38 AM): Chasez???
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:42 AM): from NSYNC????
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:49 AM): I'm sure that his trial records are what's in the Holy Grail.
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:50 AM): No.
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:50 AM): He molested little boys?
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:52 AM): SWEET
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:54 AM): Damn
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:54 AM): Jesus Christ.
Mr Chris Varney (2:16:55 AM): LOL
highfiveJuNKie (2:16:56 AM): Oh
highfiveJuNKie (2:17:05 AM): You're goign to Hellllllllllllll!!!!!
Mr Chris Varney (2:17:10 AM): Pfft.
Mr Chris Varney (2:17:14 AM): I'm going to argue that?
highfiveJuNKie (2:17:29 AM): ok.
highfiveJuNKie (2:17:34 AM): I'll see you there
Mr Chris Varney (2:17:37 AM): Totally.
Mr Chris Varney (2:17:48 AM): I'm in D- Row 9. Seat 11.
highfiveJuNKie (2:17:49 AM): after having sex with a bunch of underage boys
Mr Chris Varney (2:17:53 AM): HOT.
highfiveJuNKie (2:18:08 AM): and getting arrested for indecent exposure
highfiveJuNKie (2:18:14 AM): and eating a lot of fast food
highfiveJuNKie (2:18:18 AM): and yelling at my dogs
Mr Chris Varney (2:18:26 AM): Then punching your kids.
highfiveJuNKie (2:18:28 AM): and wishing I were rich like Paris Hilton
highfiveJuNKie (2:18:33 AM): and saying "fuck"
Mr Chris Varney (2:18:34 AM): I know that old shoe.
Mr Chris Varney (2:18:36 AM): lol
highfiveJuNKie (2:19:07 AM): and feeling really really good about all of that
Mr Chris Varney (2:19:10 AM): You're always like, walking around with a cigarette in your mouth, kicking men out of your house. You had sex with the wrong man.
highfiveJuNKie (2:19:10 AM): and whatever other sin i forgot to mention
Mr Chris Varney (2:20:13 AM): I think, my all time favorite sin is the covent one.
highfiveJuNKie (2:20:19 AM): the what?
Mr Chris Varney (2:20:29 AM): I'm not sure if that's spelled right.
highfiveJuNKie (2:20:33 AM): me either
Mr Chris Varney (2:20:34 AM): But, it's in the commandments.
highfiveJuNKie (2:20:37 AM): ooh
highfiveJuNKie (2:20:41 AM): which one is it
highfiveJuNKie (2:20:49 AM): because you know, i'm religious
Mr Chris Varney (2:20:50 AM): "Thou shalt not covent thy neighbor's wife."
Mr Chris Varney (2:20:54 AM): Or something like that.
highfiveJuNKie (2:20:57 AM): ooh
highfiveJuNKie (2:21:07 AM): does taht mean "fuck" or "beat"
highfiveJuNKie (2:21:13 AM): or a combination of the two?
Mr Chris Varney (2:21:14 AM): Want.
Mr Chris Varney (2:21:18 AM): Envy.
highfiveJuNKie (2:21:18 AM): OOH
Mr Chris Varney (2:21:30 AM): Don't envy anyone for anything.
highfiveJuNKie (2:21:32 AM): But what if your neighbor's wife is a prostitute
Mr Chris Varney (2:21:33 AM): It what it's saying.
Mr Chris Varney (2:21:37 AM): I know, right.
highfiveJuNKie (2:21:45 AM): it shoudl cancel out
Mr Chris Varney (2:22:02 AM): But, it probably doesn't. Because this is religion we're talking about.
Mr Chris Varney (2:22:05 AM): Not math.
highfiveJuNKie (2:22:12 AM): METH?
Mr Chris Varney (2:22:18 AM): math...
highfiveJuNKie (2:22:20 AM): what if your neighbor runs a meth lab
Mr Chris Varney (2:22:23 AM): lol
highfiveJuNKie (2:22:24 AM): and beats his wife?
Mr Chris Varney (2:22:36 AM): Then you're pathetic for coveting him.
highfiveJuNKie (2:22:36 AM): wouldn't it be kind to offer her your penis
highfiveJuNKie (2:22:36 AM): er
highfiveJuNKie (2:22:38 AM): bed
highfiveJuNKie (2:22:40 AM): ...home
Mr Chris Varney (2:22:45 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:22:49 AM): Either/or.
highfiveJuNKie (2:23:15 AM): ooh
highfiveJuNKie (2:23:15 AM): kay
highfiveJuNKie (2:23:16 AM): this is soooo LJ worthy
highfiveJuNKie (2:23:16 AM): like omg
Mr Chris Varney (2:23:23 AM): lol
Mr Chris Varney (2:23:26 AM): My first.
highfiveJuNKie (2:23:36 AM): awwww
highfiveJuNKie (2:23:39 AM): widdle virgin
Mr Chris Varney (2:23:44 AM): I know, right.
highfiveJuNKie (2:25:55 AM): right.
highfiveJuNKie (2:25:57 AM): i want a beer
highfiveJuNKie (2:26:03 AM): add that to my list of sins
highfiveJuNKie (2:26:05 AM): or not....
Mr Chris Varney (2:26:11 AM): lol
highfiveJuNKie (2:26:18 AM): beer ain't no sin. Jesus was an alcoholic
highfiveJuNKie (2:26:20 AM): i mean shit
highfiveJuNKie (2:26:24 AM): he turned water into wine
Mr Chris Varney (2:26:26 AM): Mr Chris Varney (2:19:50 AM): So, I think I'll have myself a beer.
LaDYBaSKeTBaLL33 (2:20:30 AM): well, you go do that.
Mr Chris Varney (2:26:29 AM): lol
highfiveJuNKie (2:26:33 AM): he COULD have turned it into somethign liek a protein shake
Mr Chris Varney (2:26:34 AM): I was just talking about that too.
Mr Chris Varney (2:26:37 AM): I know.
highfiveJuNKie (2:26:40 AM): but NOOOO
Mr Chris Varney (2:26:41 AM): He was a drunkard.
Mr Chris Varney (2:26:44 AM): Totally.
Mr Chris Varney (2:27:15 AM): Pfft.
Mr Chris Varney (2:27:25 AM): I'm sure that all those miracles were just drunken mistakes.
Mr Chris Varney (2:27:31 AM): He was out one night, right.
Mr Chris Varney (2:27:55 AM): Drowning his sorrows in a Miller Light. He was real tore up because he'd never met his dad.
Mr Chris Varney (2:28:05 AM): Then, he gets plastered and thrown out.
Mr Chris Varney (2:28:26 AM): And stumbles across a million Jews wondering through the dessert, and part the sea for them.
Mr Chris Varney (2:28:40 AM): Then sees a blind man, and just thinks , "Oh, what the thell."
Mr Chris Varney (2:28:50 AM): Then, raising the dead...
Mr Chris Varney (2:28:57 AM): Who hasn't done that?
Mr Chris Varney (2:29:05 AM): I'm sure we've taken it out of context.
Mr Chris Varney (2:29:30 AM): And he really just went into a graveyard with a shovel and started digging people up. Like in the Addam's family.
Mr Chris Varney (2:29:57 AM): desert*
highfiveJuNKie (2:30:22 AM): .....
highfiveJuNKie (2:30:26 AM): NEAT!
Mr Chris Varney (2:30:31 AM): lol
highfiveJuNKie (2:30:35 AM): Moses parted the sea
highfiveJuNKie (2:30:38 AM): dumb face
Mr Chris Varney (2:30:40 AM): I know that.
Mr Chris Varney (2:30:47 AM): I've seen Prince of Egypt.
highfiveJuNKie (2:30:56 AM): ME TOO
Mr Chris Varney (2:30:57 AM): But... this is the behind-the-scenes stuff.
highfiveJuNKie (2:31:00 AM): wasn't he hot?
Mr Chris Varney (2:31:04 AM): Totally.
Mr Chris Varney (2:31:15 AM): But, I was more into Ramses, myself.
highfiveJuNKie (2:32:07 AM): I'm all about Moses
highfiveJuNKie (2:32:13 AM): and I'm not talkign the cars
Mr Chris Varney (2:32:37 AM): lol
EDIT-----------
Miranda brought this to my attention:
http://www.walken2008.com/campaign.html