A vignette, set between FMP and TSR
When they were younger, he used to tell the girls the story of how he'd killed his own Sensei: a bullet to the head - no, not as retribution for the metal plate in Gauron's; it had been a matter of closure, pure and simple. Taking out potential threats and tying up loose ends. Firmly shutting the book on an old chapter of his life and starting afresh, because Gauron was the kind of person who could remain unmoved by the destruction of everything he'd held dear. There had even been a newly rediscovered sense of freedom; it had carried him on shining steel wings, and when he'd taken that job as a military transport pilot out of Kabul to see him through until his injuries finished healing, he'd reflected on the meaning of the old platitude, Today is the first day of the rest of my life.
And one morning, not long after the girls had found him, he'd woken up looking into Yu Lan's eyes, and realized she had a gun pressed to his chest.
He hadn't flinched. He hadn't reproached her. He hadn't said anything about wanting it to be Kashim. He'd just calmly kept on looking, without any sense of betrayal or of passing judgment; if this was where it ended, he was willing to accept that. After several long moments, he'd closed his single remaining eye, and waited for her to make the call.
The seconds had seemed like hours; finally, though, the gun barrel had begun trembling ever so slightly. Yu Lan pulled it back at last, and he hadn't needed to open his eye to realize she was crying. Without speaking a word, he and the girls had made their suicide pact.
And one morning, not long after the girls had found him, he'd woken up looking into Yu Lan's eyes, and realized she had a gun pressed to his chest.
He hadn't flinched. He hadn't reproached her. He hadn't said anything about wanting it to be Kashim. He'd just calmly kept on looking, without any sense of betrayal or of passing judgment; if this was where it ended, he was willing to accept that. After several long moments, he'd closed his single remaining eye, and waited for her to make the call.
The seconds had seemed like hours; finally, though, the gun barrel had begun trembling ever so slightly. Yu Lan pulled it back at last, and he hadn't needed to open his eye to realize she was crying. Without speaking a word, he and the girls had made their suicide pact.