Im doing what I can to not think of the alternate meaning of my birthday. cuz. well. it has no meaning anymore. still, it was something major (at the time), and its hard to forget. and not to think about. I really dont think of her much anymore. I really am over it. all of it. all 9 (+/-) years. and I think in a way that makes me more sad when I do ( Read more... )

its been 17 weeks since Ive written in here. a lot has happened. that is no lie. shes gone. has been, actually. Ive barely thought about her. and if your asking, no. I honestly dont have feelings for her anymore. not this time ( Read more... )

so things have been mighty strange lately. lauren is an immature cunt, apparently. Ive hung out with beth a few times, and my bosses actually like me. in a way, some things are good, some things are bad, and some things are confusing. I wish things would be a littttle more stable in my life, lj, but thats not going to happen. ever.. my jeep had a ( Read more... )

hi Lj, my friend ( Read more... )

hi lj. hows things? Ive been pretty fucking bored. I got a job at hewlett packard. worked for two days. ended up that hp fucked up so me and some other doods got canned. the guy from the temp place called me the next morning and was like oh hey I've got a job for less money in methuen if you want it? I was like whatever. fine. so I start in methuen ( Read more... )

so. Im pretty bored, lately. my jeep is gone. Im waiting for money/info so I can get a new one. well. new to me. not actually new. things with lauren are... complex... shes a girl, and likes to be difficult. I dunno. I had an amazing weekend with her. we had one little disagreement on something. not really an argument. but it was nothing. we werent ( Read more... )

so I watched my jeep get reposessed today. I was supposed to get paid by a job I did last week and that was going to be so I could make a payment on my jeep. well. it didnt work that way. they decided not to pay me for two weeks. whatever. my lifes a big mess. who cares. I got over the initial shock of it all. Im thinking about letting them keep it ( Read more... )

hey lj. apparently when I get drunk these days all I do is annoy people. Im gonna have to go back to the whole, hiding in a corner thing. we'll see. I got kicked out of my apartment. lame. drama I didnt deserve, but whatever. Ive got all sorts of bullshit going on right now. its stupid. Im trying to find a job. probably gonna end up at a pizza shop ( Read more... )

I thought that my life was coming together, finally.. I had been seeing lauren alot.. things at work still sucked, but her and I were talking alot.. and that was more important ( Read more... )

I really think Im going insane.. its sort of my own fault.. Ive spent this weekend in a drunken haze.. finding myself in the same places with the same dizzyness I show up with ( Read more... )