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I've decided that I dwell on the past too much. Well, maybe dwell isn't the right word, but I think about it a lot and I think about who I was and compare it to who I think I am now...blah blah. I was driving home from work today (in my mother's car, mine is still getting fixed) and I saw a group of kids in a car, still sporting the "Seniors '06
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It does get better once you turn 21 though. :-D For me, however, the feelings of confusion never really dissipated; the circumstances, the details, the consequences have just changed.
I understand how you feel. That summer in the middle of your undergraduate career is a strange one indeed. I worked my ass off, was frequently uncomfortable with everything happening in my life, and bounced back and forth between feelings of extreme happiness, sadness, and numbness. The latter of the three was the worst, and I had to work hard to fend it off.
The summer after that though, the one I'm experiencing now, is filled with uncertainty. I can't make up my mind on anything and have realized I'm completely not ready for making any big decisions regarding my life and future. For now I'm reveling in the mystery and uncertainty and trying to have as much fun as I possibly can, hoping that everything will fall into place when the time comes.
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