I feel much the same way. I mean, I'm inclined to think I'm a feminine boy. 90% sure. But there's still that 10% of doubt...
And, I mean, my mom is pretty transphobic. (I can understand that -- after all, I used to be. It's a hard thing for people to handle.) I think that if I could explain my feelings about gender to her, she'd be better about it. But I can't do it. (shrug)
Sometimes I just wish that there was a way that I could know my gender... like pulling out an 8-ball and having it say, "MALE", "FEMALE", "GENDERQUEER", or whatever.
hey mo, lets see each other again some time? you realize we've never hung out in this country? either i'm coming to smith or you're coming to new york, i demand it. love, jessi
Oh god, I hear you there. My biggest thing is my name. Most people know me as Meg. Today I started introducing myself in classes as Mark. I don't know if I'm ready to be Mark. And honestly? I feel weird being a boy at Smith. I know (obviously) there are other people who do it, but I still feel weird. And what I really want is a name that isn't obviously either gender. But I can't think of one that works. and I don't feel like either pronoun really works either. 'she' makes me cringe. but 'he' makes me feel like I'm impersonating someone. Goddamn it. stupid stupid stupid. I'm jealous of your name.
Yeah, I feel weird being a boy at smith. I think part of it is deep down I feel weird being a boy. I feel weirder being a girl though. I think I am part boy and part girl though, so maybe that is how I fit at Smith? I feel weird being a genderqueer at Smith too. It seems to me everyone else navigates gender so flawlessly. Why is it so hard for me? Why can't I just pick one?
You could ask people to use neutral gender pronouns. Another thing to remember is, although many people may switch to a male name to help people except them as male, many women are born with male names or choose them later on but still identify as women, and many genderqueer people who might not be male or female might have male or female names. I mean, most names have gender, let's not lie. However, seems to me female bodied people can get away with really masculine names. Lots of names considered feminine today were originally male names: Vivian Marion Kimberly Ashley Beverly To name a few.
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I mean, I'm inclined to think I'm a feminine boy. 90% sure. But there's still that 10% of doubt...
And, I mean, my mom is pretty transphobic. (I can understand that -- after all, I used to be. It's a hard thing for people to handle.) I think that if I could explain my feelings about gender to her, she'd be better about it. But I can't do it. (shrug)
Sometimes I just wish that there was a way that I could know my gender... like pulling out an 8-ball and having it say, "MALE", "FEMALE", "GENDERQUEER", or whatever.
Anyway, best of luck.
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Word.
. . . . yeah, that's it. I was just being pissed and sad about this earlier today.
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love,
jessi
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You could ask people to use neutral gender pronouns. Another thing to remember is, although many people may switch to a male name to help people except them as male, many women are born with male names or choose them later on but still identify as women, and many genderqueer people who might not be male or female might have male or female names. I mean, most names have gender, let's not lie. However, seems to me female bodied people can get away with really masculine names. Lots of names considered feminine today were originally male names:
Vivian
Marion
Kimberly
Ashley
Beverly
To name a few.
Sorry my name is so effin' good.
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Me too.
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