Sometimes
Sometimes....
by Azmiri Sultana Mridul on Saturday, September 29, 2012 at 5:07am ·
Sometimes you know, by some miracle, or by some blessing of the Almighty, you JUST know when to say certain things and do certain stuff, and HOW to execute them. Sometimes you just KNOW, WHEN, WHERE, HOW, and WHY to say things.
Things especially like a goodbye.
See, of ALL the emotions, words and EVERYTHING out there…a goodbye is both painful AND liberating. I know, the example is paradoxical, but it’s true. A goodbye is something that spurs a LOT of things, it begins with a thought, which formulates an idea, and the idea then slowly and gradually cooks up into a determination, which patiently waits the right time for its execution. You never really KNOW when… but at the right time, you just say the right words because you FEEL inside that “THIS IS IT”…!
THAT is the moment of make or break. In that moment YOU HAVE another cosmically important decision to make…do you still cling to whatever needs to be said goodbye to? or do you jump, take the leap of faith in yourself and at the plan that your Almighty has for you?…
Do you ACTUALLY BELIEVE in YOU? Or do you stick and desperately stay attached to whatever that is you have in your life now, which is causing you pain, misery and making you doubt yourself and your life choices more than once?
Do you decide that even though you might not have BETTER things in your life, better than this one, you might not have white knights in shining armors on horses, or dark knights (anti heroes) in Impala’s coming for your rescue and loving you with passion and truth like none other, or whatever it is that you have dreamt of, wished for, thought of, wanted…. EVEN THOUGH YOU MIGHT HAVE NONE OF THE BEAUTIFUL FICTIONAL ROMANTIC AND LOVING PARTS IT IN YOUR FUTURE after you say goodbye, even though someone might not love you, (I mean at least you have a semblance of it now, although it is a vile torture to you every day, but someone is interested, someone is sticking right? you have something in your life..right?), do you still say goodbye?
If you are asking me, that what if it was I? Would I have said goodbye then? I’ll say, YES I WOULD HAVE IN SHAA ALLAH… YES YOU SHOULD TOO! but then again, hey that's just my opinion... my advice.
Because, you might not have that love, the NOT PERFECT or EPIC or TWILIGHT kinda love… (Because frankly those and IN MY HUMBLE AND HONEST OPINION those kinda portrayal of love are “STEAMING LOADS OF ANIMAL POO”!)
I am talking about the honest, the right kinda love… you might not have that, but at the end of the day, you are going to have yourself and your self respect and dignity and the belief that “YOU ARE ENOUGH”… you can say with a heart swelled with honest pride and joy that “I WILL love myself, respect, trust and take care of myself and it is ENOUGH”… and also “I WILL not settle and debase myself for the sake of not being lonely or because I might be scared!”, because you are stronger than that … EVERYONE is… they just have to find that light or free that bird, take the leap of faith and just BELIEVE!
Sometimes not knowing EVERYTHING is good.
Sometimes you ask shouldn’t the questions you don’t REALLY want to know the answers of.
Sometimes darkness is good, because in darkness, you might be clambering and hurtling around, and you might get hurt, but even then, at some point, in darkness, you have HOPE!
Sometimes, you just have to know and have to be Strong enough to say goodbye. Because at the eve of goodbye, comes the possibility of a new HELLO.