This coming Wednesday I have a meeting with a minister and various other government folks, and I don’t think I have the balls to go into that one with purple hair. (Or more accurately - I would love to go into that meeting with purple hair! - I just don’t have the balls to face my boss after having done so.)
But that same afternoon, once the meeting’s over...
(at which point my boss will be able to make an informed decision as to whether she wants to let me out in public, rather than it being a sprung surprise.)
I don’t know, and... I don’t know. That’s kind of part-and-parcel of this whole thing.
There are many things that I don’t remember. But is it better or worse than, say, 4 months ago (to pick an arbitrary date)? I have no idea. I have nothing concrete to compare it to. My notes (and my LJ posts, tweets, etc. - which is to say, those things that to a large extent make up my memory these days) from that time certainly indicate that I was having problems with my memory then, but they’re less useful at informing me the exact extent to which I was having problems. And it makes it pretty much impossible to compare it to how things are now. So I... don’t remember.
Likewise with appointments. My calendar (the other half of my outsourced memory, along with my email records) contains any number of medical appointments, but... I don’t remember them at all. Who did I see? I dunno. What happened? I dunno. What did we talk about? I dunno.
(I’m not sure how much of this I’ve mentioned to you / on LJ / etc. yet, but just to give you an idea: my memory up until last October is fine. I can remember everything up to and including (shudder) the Oct. 3rd accident 100% - or as well as I ever would have been able to. It starts fading about a week afterward; around the time that I came back to Canada. It starts picking up again around 6-7 weeks ago. I can remember most of Ramadhan just fine. Late June/early July is fuzzy. Everything in the interim is either a black hole, or I can remember just the barest threads of things, or I can “remember memories” of the time (that is: I can remember a time 4 weeks ago when I was able to remember what happened in early June, if that makes any sense). It's a lot like trying to remember something that happened in early childhood, or in a dream. There are bits and pieces of clarity, but they’re slippery, and surrounded by nothingness, and I’m never sure just how trustworthy (or distorted) my memory of those things actually is.)
Are you saying you have been having an ongoing 6-7 week buffer after which memories drop off, or that 6-7 weeks ago things have suddenly gotten a lot better?
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It’s coming! (I think!)
This coming Wednesday I have a meeting with a minister and various other government folks, and I don’t think I have the balls to go into that one with purple hair. (Or more accurately - I would love to go into that meeting with purple hair! - I just don’t have the balls to face my boss after having done so.)
But that same afternoon, once the meeting’s over...
(at which point my boss will be able to make an informed decision as to whether she wants to let me out in public, rather than it being a sprung surprise.)
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There are many things that I don’t remember. But is it better or worse than, say, 4 months ago (to pick an arbitrary date)? I have no idea. I have nothing concrete to compare it to. My notes (and my LJ posts, tweets, etc. - which is to say, those things that to a large extent make up my memory these days) from that time certainly indicate that I was having problems with my memory then, but they’re less useful at informing me the exact extent to which I was having problems. And it makes it pretty much impossible to compare it to how things are now. So I... don’t remember.
Likewise with appointments. My calendar (the other half of my outsourced memory, along with my email records) contains any number of medical appointments, but... I don’t remember them at all. Who did I see? I dunno. What happened? I dunno. What did we talk about? I dunno.
Welcome to my life.
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