The Headmaster's Wife - Chapter One
Author's Note:
This is my first HG/SS story so your patience is appreciated. It is all set post DH and of course our favourite slytherin is alive and well. Those who have died in the books remain dead! This is AU, EWE and slightly OOC but only within certain relationships
This piece is rated NC-17/MA. There will be language, there will be smut within relationships and there will be adult themes. There will also be some dark themes.
I would love to hear your thoughts.
And I own nothing but my imagination. I thank the great JKR for providing such wonderful muses
Chapter One - Strange Stirrings:
A war hero. The Dark Saviour. Was that really how they thought of him? He very much doubted it. He read the latest scandalous article about himself in The Daily Prophet. All that was accurate was his name, the fact he was cleared of all Ministry charges and that he was Headmaster still at Hogwarts. The rest...the rest was just full of inaccuracies, full of lies and full of holes.
And then there was The Golden Trio. Their portrayal in the war angered him. He didn't care about Harry Potter. He had discharged his duty to Lily and to him. He didn't care for Ronald Weasley who simply followed like a sheep but was lauded as highly as Potter. What he did care about but for the life of him he did not know why was the treatment of the brains behind Potter and Weasley, those beautiful brains behind The Golden Trio, that beautiful, intelligent, sensual...'oh gods here I go again. Why do I keep thinking about her like that?' he suddenly thought trying to snap himself out of this wallowing and frankly irritating internal monologue which either put Hermione Granger on a pedestal or in his bed. Metaphorically speaking of course. He hadn't seen her for three months and before then she was under his protection both as a member of the order and a pupil and an annoying pupil at that. Her with her beautiful curls and her silky...'stop it. She's an insufferable know-it-all and you never liked her'. But something had changed. He knew it had but he didn't know why and now when he thought of her he was on the verge of falling prostrate at her feet and declaring his undying devotion to her.
He threw the paper into the fire and slumped into his chair with his head in his hands. He had to stop thinking about her like this but he didn't understand what was happening to him. But even though his thoughts were demonising him he was angry that no one seemed to care about Hermione's role in the war. And no one seemed to care that it was her resourcefulness and her skills that kept Harry Potter on the right track to defeat Voldemort. According to the papers he was brought back from the dead by the skills of the healers at St Mungos but the truth was it was her. She brought him back from the edge of oblivion or certainly an eternity in hell by her quick thinking and her kiss. Of course it wasn't a romantic kiss. It was just the way she had to administer one of the potions she gave him. One of her own concoctions seemingly 'just shows how wonderful that brain of hers is...oh SHUT UP!'
He had tried to thank her but the slit in his throat and Nagini's venom had damaged and paralysed his vocal chords. After he told Potter to take his tears he felt his voice leave him. All he could do was look deep into her beautiful brown eyes and pray to whatever deity was listening that she understood what his black orbs were trying to convey. Their eyes burned into each other as he tried to thank her for her kindness, for her warmth, for her hope and most importantly he begged for her trust and forgiveness. He begged that the truth be told and he begged for her to stay with him in case these were his last moments. The intensity of the shared look would have made most observers turn away so as not to intrude on something so private. He was sure she understood because in that instance she smiled and she seemed to glow...a sure sign he was about to pass out he thought...and she gently touched his cheek, kissed it softly and said "you are not the man they all think you are and I will defend you to the very end". A strange sentiment he thought but a welcome one nonetheless. But after that there was nothing. Just a warm blissful dreamless sleep which happened to last three weeks.
In those three weeks Severus Snape, the great war hero healed. Remarkably quickly they said. His temperature was slightly raised as it was to this day but there were no signs of infection. He just felt comfortably warm like he was being held. Not that he had much experience of being held by anyone of course.
His quick recovery meant that his trial was called for immediately. He stood there and listened to Order members defend him and then all of his memories, not just those he gave to Harry Potter, were brought out. They had been carefully sorted so that no extraneous memories unrelated to the war and his spying activities were shown at the trial but it just made him feel even more violated. He had wondered who had seen his memories to prepare his defence and then it became clear as his curly haired saviour stood in front of the court and stated that she had witnessed his entire memories and could attest that he was a true and honourable man. A man who had suffered for the freedom of the wizarding world, whose loyalty had preserved Harry, Ron and herself so that they could face and destroy Voldemort.
And then looking straight into his eyes she said "I would rather have died in that war if I thought that this man would be punished for being the best and bravest spy we could have hoped for. We owe this man our eternal gratitude for the tortures he endured and the sacrifices he made, unknown to us, but on our behalf. He should be lauded and exonerated and I will fight until my dying breath to ensure that he is acquitted and returned to his rightful place as Headmaster of Hogwarts".
The courtroom buzzed at her passionate defence of him. He couldn't take his eyes off her. It wasn't that she was now a very attractive young woman that had him captivated. It wasn't that she was defending him although he would admit that this act would have been enough to make any man falter but it was something else. Something inside her. When she looked at him he felt his breath was being forced from him. But to the rest of the room he stood there almost impervious to what was going on. Only keen observers of his eyes could tell he was enraptured. The Daily Prophet's reporters scribbled frantically to capture her words and as she stood down from the stand and walked past him the flashes of cameras began to go off to capture that moment where she was stood before him. The flashes hid the almost imperceptible glow that occurred as her fingers gently brushed his hand. A look of recognition passed between them without a word being spoken. It was the same burning, searching look that they shared the day she saved his life. And then she was gone without a look back and certainly without a following look from him.
But as the weeks drew on he began to think about her more and more. He began to think more and more inappropriately about her as well. He felt lost. He felt tormented and it wasn't getting any easier. But he consoled himself with the fact that Professor McGonagall, who had resumed her position as Deputy Head had informed him that she had been in correspondence with Miss Granger and that she was well and wanted to return to the school in some capacity. The War Pupils - those who had not been able to complete their NEWTS due to the war - were given the opportunity to come back and study. Hermione Granger was one of those who wished to come back including Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, Neville Longbottom, Pansy Parkinson and Luna Lovegood. The others had taken as much as they could of Hogwarts and if the truth were known not everyone was pleased to have Headmaster Snape at the helm of the school.
The school board had become the bane of his life. He was working closely with them over the rebuilding of the school and they had worked out how to make the school as safe as possible for the start of the new school year. But they also requested that Hermione Granger and Harry Potter be made Head Girl and Boy as well as representatives from the true 7th years including Ginny Weasley. But Harry turned this down. He didn't want any more attention and so Draco Malfoy, Severus' godson, was made Head Boy much to the delight of his father and Hogwart's greatest patron Lucius Malfoy. Of course Lucius was also one of Severus Snape's best friends especially since it had been revealed that Snape was in fact one of the richest wizard's in the country. The Snape Estates had been kept secret for years but in the trial all of these facts surfaced much to Severus' chagrin.
Since Malfoy's release from his short second stay at Azkaban and his renouncement of Voldemort, he found he had become very fond of Miss Hermione Granger himself. Of course his intentions were entirely honourable and his fondest grew from her new friendship with Draco and her frequent visits to Malfoy Manor. Draco had visited Grimmauld Place not long after the great battle to thank Hermione for helping his godfather. After an awkward few hours they began to talk and all of Draco's bluster and arrogance dissolved as he looked at the most powerful witch of the age talk about Severus Snape in such passionate terms, explaining that she realised the pressure Draco had been under. Draco was one of the few who truly knew of Severus' compassion and to see someone else share this knowledge was comforting. Hermione became his confidante and although she found it hard to go to Malfoy Manor at first given her torture there, it soon became the place she went after shopping trips with Draco or after a night out at the cinema. Yes Draco had developed a taste for muggle cinema. Through Hermione Harry had learned to tolerate Draco. He wouldn't say he was his best friend but he didn't want to hex him on sight. And of course not forgetting Ron Weasley, the love of Hermione's life, who was never around these days as he was off pursuing his Quidditch career. He'd asked her to marry him. She asked him to ask her in year's time.
And of course to add to his woes Severus realised that he needed a new Defence Against the Dark Arts and Potions teachers. The board again came up with an answer. Since Harry Potter had turned down the role of Head Boy it was deemed that he should take his NEWTS early and become the new DADA professor, whilst Hermione Granger should become a potion's apprentice whilst studying for her NEWTS and then for the year proceeding. Severus was against this because he didn't trust Slughorn, who had agreed to stay on until his apprentice was fully trained, to do a good enough job to train Hermione. In fact this was exactly Hermione's thoughts when she was offered the position. She wanted to be trained by the best and that meant one person and one person only. She discussed it with Lucius who said he would try and persuade the headmaster to come out of teaching retirement to train her personally. Severus resisted this suggestion but ran out of excuses in the end. He reluctantly agreed but still had to wait for an owl from Miss Granger to confirm her acceptance of both her Head Girl and apprentice position.
His life was once again becoming one of torment. Admittedly he no longer feared for his life but again he felt like he was not his own man. He looked in the mirror and sighed. He had been healed but that didn't mean there were no lasting scars. The scar Nagini left on his neck had healed but it was so sensitive that to his annoyance it meant that for the first time in 20 years had to modify his dress. He could no longer do his dress shirts right up and had to change the collar so that they didn't irritate the scar. The effect had been a surprising one. He actually felt more relaxed by this and he noticed the staff were approaching him more. He hadn't modified his behaviour. He was still sarcastic, he was still snide, he was still measured and seemingly unflappable. He still stalked the halls and corridors and his voice...thankfully his voice had regained is mellifluous yet dark timbre...still intimidated and beguiled but he no longer had a feeling of dread. He was even told he had developed a sense of humour. Although he would argue he always had one. He even found himself smiling occasionally especially when his thoughts turned to his beautiful curly haired saviour.
And he felt younger. He looked younger. He was only 38 but he had felt at least 20 years older in recent years and now he felt as he should do purely through eating and sleeping better. He'd always had to keep fit. There was no way he could have survived the numerous tortures he had to endure if he had been weak. But he'd spent far too long on pain potions, dreamless sleep potions, headache potions and gods know what else potions to ever enjoy eating or life for that matter. Now he could eat more and train harder and well he liked what he saw in the mirror. It was just a shame there was no one to share it with. After all Lily was dead and his glorious Gryffindor princess was...'Severus shut up. She is technically still a pupil and you will keep your hands to yourself' he screamed at himself.
An owl arrived. It was Draco's but he was surprised to see who it was from.
Dear Headmaster,
Thank you for your invitation to become Head Girl and to become a potions apprentice under your tutelage.
I am extremely honoured on both counts and would be delighted to accept both positions.
I hope this letter finds you well and I look forward to seeing you at the start of term.
YOURS sincerely
Hermione Granger.
Why had she written yours in capital letters? He was puzzled and suddenly found himself stroking his thumb across her name. He was going to have to have a word with himself tonight, in the form of a bottle of firewhisky, about this frankly juvenile behaviour, he thought.
He picked up a piece of parchment and a quill and sat down to write.
Dear Miss Granger,
Thank you for your letter. I am delighted that you have chosen to accept both positions.
I would be honoured if you would join me for afternoon tea on the day of The Sorting Ceremony to discuss both your Head Girl duties and the details of your apprenticeship.
If you have any questions in the meantime please do not hesitate to send an owl.
Your faithful servant
Severus Snape
Headmaster
He called an owl before he had chance to change any of the wording. "And you can stop smirking you old bat," he said looking in the direction of Albus Dumbledore's portrait.
"My dear boy whatever is the matter?" Albus asked.
"I wish I knew," Snape said pacing the office "Ever since Hermione saved me I have felt attracted to her. But not just in a 'oh she's suddenly grown up and what I'm looking at is very pleasant' way. It's like I want to protect her and...". He trailed off as he felt his trousers get a little tighter on him.
"You are having thoughts of a more pleasurable nature towards her aren't you?" Albus said his eyes twinkling.
"I would say more of an inappropriate nature but yes they would be very...Oh gods forgive me! Yes I am and I shouldn't be. I've taken her on as my Potion's apprentice because I can't trust Slughorn to do it and she's Head Girl I can't just ignore her. Oh in Merlin's name what am I going to do?" Severus said now sitting down to hide his discomfort.
"Well she is very attractive and incredibly bright. She has truly bloomed. Not to mention the fact she saved your life. And of course she is of age. In fact due to a certain level of recklessness on my part in her third year where I gave her a time turner..." Severus looked up at him in horror "I know, I know dear boy! She is in fact 20. Surely that puts a different complexion on things?" Dumbledore studied Severus carefully noticing the struggle within him "Severus these feelings? Do you wish to act on them? Has she in anyway reciprocated?"
Severus stood up again and resumed pacing the office. "The simple answer is I don't know and I haven't seen her since the trial. She's written an acceptance letter to me but she signed off with Yours Sincerely but the yours was in capital letters. All I know is what started as a few brief musings about her have turned into a consumption of my waking thoughts. But I cannot imagine that she would want to be with someone like me. She's with the Weasley boy isn't she?"
Dumbledore smiled as he realised that Hermione was indeed connected to Severus somehow but answered his question "I believe that is still true yes. However Severus if you will permit me I would like to inform Minerva of the situation and conduct an investigation for you. It seems to me that your feelings towards Miss Granger are driven rather than developed. I am not suggesting that these feelings are not real but I would like to speak to both yourself and Miss Granger about the night which thankfully brought you back to the living world. Perhaps you could invite her for tea?"
"I've already invited her for afternoon tea before the sorting ceremony. I think if I...," he trailed off as he noticed Dumbledore had raised his hand to silence him.
"My dear boy. If you don't see her soon you will go out of your mind if my summation is correct. If you leave it any longer when you do see her you will be so out of control that you will end up a tangled but happy mess on the very floor that you are annoyingly pacing or over that very desk. No Severus the sooner we solve the mystery of your connection the sooner you can pursue your relationship at a more dignified pace". Dumbledore's eyes twinkled as he said this and he was enjoying the look of surprise on the headmaster's face.
"You can't be serious?" Severus said angrily "I will summon all the strength I have to keep my feelings away from her". And then with a voice uncharacteristically filled with hope he asked "Do you think we have a future then?". He suddenly had to sit down again as he felt another shock wave emanate from inside his trousers.
"Oh yes. We've all thought so for years," and with that Dumbledore moved out of view and all Severus could hear was the faint sound of his laughter.
Dear Hermione,
Further to my letter of this morning, Professor Dumbledore has expressed a desire to be present for afternoon tea with yourself and I at your earliest convenience.
Please advise which afternoon suits you best and I will make the necessary arrangements.
Your humble servant
Severus Snape
He sat at his desk and closed his eyes. He hadn't meant to fall asleep but he felt relaxed knowing that he might see her soon.
"Oh Sev don't stop. Oh please I want to cum...Let me suck your fingers. Severus...oh gods...oh...oh...I'm so close...oh, oh, oh..."
His eyes snapped open, his brow lightly covered in sweat. He wasn't dreaming about having sex with her. That was her.