(no subject)
Well, I've been kinda busy.
I've given up on getting just any ole job for now. Billy has gotten a new job that makes it so I don't have to and well, I'm not going to squander my good fortune. The temp agency was working out, the HR job didn't pan out like so many other jobs that I interveiwed for. The ones that actually seemed like they would work out were always for companies that made me feel dirty, like sales jobs. One sales job actually seemed like a cheat the elderly scam but they actually wanted me for my anthro skills...I don't want to tell them how to do better evil thank you very much. Anyway, I'm going to voluteer at the local library and focus on crafting, housework, and dietary and financial management. If I don't have to contribute by way of j-o-b then I'll do it other ways. Its more important to me to simply do useful work even if the pay isn't monetary. I even offered to clean house and run errands for some of my friends a few days a week for free to help them out...they are like family so why shouldn't they benifit from my good fortune but no one would take me up on my offer. They all wanted to pay me something. I said ok...dinner, Lambiecs, buy my popcorn at the movies, take me out for coffee or take me to Joann's...these are all appropriate and enthusiastically accepted forms of payment for me. I feel like an ass for my good fortune but it seems pretty stupid to feel bad for having something that people generally want.
I just spent this past Thur-Sunday in LA. Grandma calls saying that they expect to hear some thing final about my Dad's cancer and she felt that he and she would need my support...she asked, then she pleaded and then she did the guilt trip and I fell for it. She said that if I did come visit, that I shouldn't tell the family that she asked me to so they would think that I was doing it because I love my Dad...It made me angry but it did make me go to LA, Billy driving through the night, so we could get there at 7am so I could go with them to the appointment at 8:30am. Where we learned not a damn thing because the doctors that needed to had not confered with one another and more test were needed. It however appeared that the bone scan had, strangely enough, picked up on just what I knew it would find. My Dad has been in more wrecks and had as many broken bones as Jackie Chan. He has the normal arthritic deteriorations in keeping with breakage and reknitting. They are only concerned with one bone feature but that is because it is sited in close proximity to his lung cancer. Grandma however is sure now that he has lung, lymphatic and bone cancer and that the doctors won't be able to do anything to cure him...(rage, weep, moan..woe is her). I however can see why they can't assume it is the exact same as all the other formation (proximity) and why they want to do another test (confirmation). His cancer is primarily lung though it is moving out into his lymphatic. Basically it's not nearly as bad as she makes it out to be but she wants me to come home and help her take care of things and if anything would make me move back "where I'm supposed to be" then is this would be it. Unfortunately for her, she is in denial about, well really anything that doesn't fit in with her master plan and thus she doesn't understand that I'm not coming back to stay. I finally have a life, I'm mostly sane, stable and happy and I'm not giving that up just come home and take on their burdens especially when they keep doing things that compound them. Grandma still goes shopping with money they don't have...now its medical bill money. Aunt Susan is still far too busy to help out with many of the things they want me to help with but she has a family...I don't...and now apparently, I don't (hello Billy, sorry 'bout that) because GOD KNEW this would happen and didn't let me have a baby because he knew I would have to come home. I love the logical acrobatics of these faithful. Dad and Grandpa got in the wreak so the doctors would fine their cancer (They did get in a wreak and the cancer was found through tests to check for internal damage). This also happened for a variety of good reasons for so many people...all random events also searching for a connective reason I suppose. I couldn't find a job, have a baby, didn't get in school yet because GOD knew I might be needed at home. Um, I'm not ready for school because I really like my life the way it is and decided not to go back for a while. I don't have a baby for reasons that are in the sacred's hands but just as likely a result of not enough funny business and side effects of my medication. I don't have a job for reasons I've already stated. This didn't happen to rid Dad of his alcoholism demon. Grandma is just falling back on religion for personal support, which is fine, but also for support of her masterplan which she feels that everyone should be following anyway. Yes things would work out, in a way, if we all did what she tells us to but that's neither here nor there. She's also concerned that Grandpa and Dad are loosing weight but Grandpa got depressed because the wreck was partly his fault but not really and he found out that he and Dad have cancer...he's eating and doing fine again now as he should having dealt with if finally. Dad has no appetite because with the neckbrace and Grandma worryworting over him, he doesn't do anything all day but watch TV, walk around or sleep. Inactivity decreases appetite as does being in the hospital for a while. Neither of them are wasting away and both are doing as well as can be expected. But oh she of even greater pessimism than me just has to make things bigger and worse than they are. She just called to get on to me for not calling Dad before his appointment to encourage him as she instructed me last night. Grr. I said that I would, yes...I forgot. I planned to call this afternoon and talk to him instead but she wanted me to call anyway so she could give me all the horrible details. She thinks that I won't call unless she tells me to but then again she's always telling me too and I'm always calling so how would she know. I call me Dad when I want to talk to my Dad. Usually once every other evening after 9pm so we can have a nice long conversation without it killing my minutes. Plus, by then she is asleep and he doesn't have to worry about going outside and walking round for an hour talking to me about everything from how he's doing to our past experiences with pot.
Anyway, so that's what's up. Honestly, I've all forgotten about LJ before today. I don't really look at it that much other than just to see if everyone is doing okay and to see if there are any neat pics or recipies. I have my housework, books, games, sewing and such. I know that I've lost track of all my paleonerd friends and several others that I met on here and I'm sorry. I hope ya'll are all doing especially groovy. Maybe I can remember to get on here more than once a month...:D we'll see
I've given up on getting just any ole job for now. Billy has gotten a new job that makes it so I don't have to and well, I'm not going to squander my good fortune. The temp agency was working out, the HR job didn't pan out like so many other jobs that I interveiwed for. The ones that actually seemed like they would work out were always for companies that made me feel dirty, like sales jobs. One sales job actually seemed like a cheat the elderly scam but they actually wanted me for my anthro skills...I don't want to tell them how to do better evil thank you very much. Anyway, I'm going to voluteer at the local library and focus on crafting, housework, and dietary and financial management. If I don't have to contribute by way of j-o-b then I'll do it other ways. Its more important to me to simply do useful work even if the pay isn't monetary. I even offered to clean house and run errands for some of my friends a few days a week for free to help them out...they are like family so why shouldn't they benifit from my good fortune but no one would take me up on my offer. They all wanted to pay me something. I said ok...dinner, Lambiecs, buy my popcorn at the movies, take me out for coffee or take me to Joann's...these are all appropriate and enthusiastically accepted forms of payment for me. I feel like an ass for my good fortune but it seems pretty stupid to feel bad for having something that people generally want.
I just spent this past Thur-Sunday in LA. Grandma calls saying that they expect to hear some thing final about my Dad's cancer and she felt that he and she would need my support...she asked, then she pleaded and then she did the guilt trip and I fell for it. She said that if I did come visit, that I shouldn't tell the family that she asked me to so they would think that I was doing it because I love my Dad...It made me angry but it did make me go to LA, Billy driving through the night, so we could get there at 7am so I could go with them to the appointment at 8:30am. Where we learned not a damn thing because the doctors that needed to had not confered with one another and more test were needed. It however appeared that the bone scan had, strangely enough, picked up on just what I knew it would find. My Dad has been in more wrecks and had as many broken bones as Jackie Chan. He has the normal arthritic deteriorations in keeping with breakage and reknitting. They are only concerned with one bone feature but that is because it is sited in close proximity to his lung cancer. Grandma however is sure now that he has lung, lymphatic and bone cancer and that the doctors won't be able to do anything to cure him...(rage, weep, moan..woe is her). I however can see why they can't assume it is the exact same as all the other formation (proximity) and why they want to do another test (confirmation). His cancer is primarily lung though it is moving out into his lymphatic. Basically it's not nearly as bad as she makes it out to be but she wants me to come home and help her take care of things and if anything would make me move back "where I'm supposed to be" then is this would be it. Unfortunately for her, she is in denial about, well really anything that doesn't fit in with her master plan and thus she doesn't understand that I'm not coming back to stay. I finally have a life, I'm mostly sane, stable and happy and I'm not giving that up just come home and take on their burdens especially when they keep doing things that compound them. Grandma still goes shopping with money they don't have...now its medical bill money. Aunt Susan is still far too busy to help out with many of the things they want me to help with but she has a family...I don't...and now apparently, I don't (hello Billy, sorry 'bout that) because GOD KNEW this would happen and didn't let me have a baby because he knew I would have to come home. I love the logical acrobatics of these faithful. Dad and Grandpa got in the wreak so the doctors would fine their cancer (They did get in a wreak and the cancer was found through tests to check for internal damage). This also happened for a variety of good reasons for so many people...all random events also searching for a connective reason I suppose. I couldn't find a job, have a baby, didn't get in school yet because GOD knew I might be needed at home. Um, I'm not ready for school because I really like my life the way it is and decided not to go back for a while. I don't have a baby for reasons that are in the sacred's hands but just as likely a result of not enough funny business and side effects of my medication. I don't have a job for reasons I've already stated. This didn't happen to rid Dad of his alcoholism demon. Grandma is just falling back on religion for personal support, which is fine, but also for support of her masterplan which she feels that everyone should be following anyway. Yes things would work out, in a way, if we all did what she tells us to but that's neither here nor there. She's also concerned that Grandpa and Dad are loosing weight but Grandpa got depressed because the wreck was partly his fault but not really and he found out that he and Dad have cancer...he's eating and doing fine again now as he should having dealt with if finally. Dad has no appetite because with the neckbrace and Grandma worryworting over him, he doesn't do anything all day but watch TV, walk around or sleep. Inactivity decreases appetite as does being in the hospital for a while. Neither of them are wasting away and both are doing as well as can be expected. But oh she of even greater pessimism than me just has to make things bigger and worse than they are. She just called to get on to me for not calling Dad before his appointment to encourage him as she instructed me last night. Grr. I said that I would, yes...I forgot. I planned to call this afternoon and talk to him instead but she wanted me to call anyway so she could give me all the horrible details. She thinks that I won't call unless she tells me to but then again she's always telling me too and I'm always calling so how would she know. I call me Dad when I want to talk to my Dad. Usually once every other evening after 9pm so we can have a nice long conversation without it killing my minutes. Plus, by then she is asleep and he doesn't have to worry about going outside and walking round for an hour talking to me about everything from how he's doing to our past experiences with pot.
Anyway, so that's what's up. Honestly, I've all forgotten about LJ before today. I don't really look at it that much other than just to see if everyone is doing okay and to see if there are any neat pics or recipies. I have my housework, books, games, sewing and such. I know that I've lost track of all my paleonerd friends and several others that I met on here and I'm sorry. I hope ya'll are all doing especially groovy. Maybe I can remember to get on here more than once a month...:D we'll see