Glee - SLL Verse - Attention Grabbing - 7/8 - R
Finn sat up for hours that night. He made himself a sandwich and watched some late-night television and thought and worried. Was Kurt really pissed at them? They hadn’t ever really lied about things. It’s not like him and Puck were dating. But they hadn’t told Kurt they were less-than-straight either, and that was probably really upsetting. Especially after how they had both acted and treated him in the past.
Why would Kurt ever want them? They had been grade-A jerks to him since middle school until two years ago. Even then, they hadn’t been particularly good to him until a few months ago when they caved to their feelings and decided to pursue him. What did that say about them? Really?
Frustrated, Finn turned off the TV and headed up to bed. He tried to talk to Kurt again, but didn’t get a reply and assumed he was asleep; it was nearly three. “I’m sorry,” he said quietly to the silent door. “We’re screw-ups. Forgive us? Please?” After a few seconds, he went back to his room. Puck was already under the covers sleeping. Finn crawled in and lay next to him for a few moments.
“We are dumb, aren’t we?” he asked. “I mean, we couldn’t just tell him how we feel, could we? And, I don’t know about you, but I wish I could tell you how I feel, too.” He rolled over to face his sleeping best friend. “Because what I feel for you is what I feel for Kurt. And sometimes I think it’s all too dangerously close to something like love for my own good.” He put his arm around Puck, pulling him close and closed his eyes. “Goodnight, Noah.”
Kurt refused to leave his bedroom until mid-afternoon the next day. Finn had woken up around ten, alone, to the smell of bacon. He’d hoped that Kurt was up and would talk to them, but when he entered the kitchen, all he found was Puck picking a slice out of the bowl that he was placing on the table. Finn offered to scramble eggs while Puck tried to get Kurt to come eat.
Ten minutes later, Puck came back defeated. They both begged and bargained at Kurt’s door over the day, but he wouldn’t answer. When he did finally come out to eat, he refused to speak to them. Finn noticed some bruises on his neck and asked, but Kurt ignored him completely. Puck seemed pretty sure they were hickeys, which pissed them off but appeased them that at least he hadn’t been hurt by the jerk.
It wasn’t until breakfast the next day that he finally started acknowledging them again, but even then he was pretending he hadn’t seen what he had.
By lunch, it seemed Puck couldn’t take it anymore.
“If you’re pissed, just fucking tell us!” he snapped as Kurt was lifting the first bite of his salad to his mouth.
“I’m not,” he answered, fork hanging in the air. “There’s nothing to be pissed about.”
Finn sighed. It was obvious Kurt was pissed since he was swearing. “Kurt, if you would let us explain-”
“There’s nothing to explain!” Kurt insisted, swinging his fork through the air. “It doesn’t matter!”
“Christ, Hummel, why won’t you let us fucking talk to you?”
Kurt threw his fork on the table. “Maybe I would if I hadn’t had to find this shit out like that!”
“Kurt-”
“We were fucking drinking!”
Kurt stood up, glaring. “Oh, so you’re going to pull the Three Drink Queer card now? I thought you guys were better than that.” He turned to storm off.
“No! Fuck,” Finn growled as he banged his knee getting up. “Kurt, we were pissed off!”
“Oh, please.” He turned to face them again, his lips drawn into a sneer. Finn hadn’t seen that look on his face since the days when they would throw Kurt into dumpsters. It hurt that it was Kurt’s attempt to mask his feelings; that he felt the need to hide from them again.
“We were!”
“About what, Finn? What had you so angry that you drank a few beers and then rubbed off on your best friend?”
“You!” Puck shouted, his fists clenched. The nasty twist of Kurt’s mouth slipped away, leaving a shocked “o” shape behind. “We were fucking pissed that you went out with your stupid boyfriend to a stupid show when we wanted you here, playing video games and flirting!” Kurt blinked widely.
“We drank a few beers, yeah,” Finn said. “And we tried to play, but all we could do was bitch about you being away.”
“And maybe it was a distraction technique, but what were we supposed to do?”
The kitchen was almost ringing with the silence then as they stared at each other. Then Kurt turned and ran back up the stairs. Finn kicked a chair and Puck swore.
After a few minutes of frustrated breathing, Finn looked over at Puck. “A distraction technique?” Puck blinked at him. “Was that all it was? A distraction?”
Puck sighed, rubbing his face. “Finn…”
“Seriously. Can we figure this out? Please?”
“Figure what out?”
“Are we competing or cooperating?”
Puck sat back down. “Fuck if I know.”
Finn moved to the table and sat down too. “Dude, we’ve got to talk about this. I think one of us is going to develop a complex if we don’t.”
“What is there to talk about?”
Finn was silent for a long moment. The words were in his mind, on his tongue, dancing, screaming for him to spit them out. To ask and get the answer and just know. “What we feel for each other.” He was almost surprised that he actually said them.
Puck’s head snapped up. “What?”
“You can’t deny we’re closer than ever now, right?” Puck nodded, his eyebrows lowering in question. “I care a lot about you, too. The way I do about Kurt. I… Noah, what are we doing?” Finn was whispering.
Puck shook his head, eyes closing. “I can’t.”
“Noah, please-”
“Don’t, Finn.”
“But-”
“You haven’t called me Noah since we were ten. Why are you doing it now?”
“Damn it, Puck! Don’t fucking shut me out, not now.” He couldn’t let Puck close up on him. Now that he’d started, he had to know. Had to let Puck know. “I care about you as much as I do Kurt. What I need to know right now is how much you care about me. Because the way you kissed me last night didn’t feel like a distraction. It felt like something real, something that I can return.”
Puck buried his head in his arms, crossed on the table. “Finn, I can’t do this.”
“Why?”
“Because it’ll hurt!” Finn blinked as Puck shouted into his arms. “I can’t fucking let you in any more-shit, I’ve already let you in too far. Damn it, Finn, I just don’t wanna get hurt anymore! Is that so much to ask?”
“Noah, I wouldn’t-”
“No, you wouldn’t,” Puck said, sitting up. “Not on purpose. And neither would Kurt, but you both will. Because when he figures out you like him, like him like he used to like you, he’s going to be all over you because we all know you’re a better person than most people in the world. And I’m going to be left as the third wheel holding broken pieces, okay? Because that’s what happens to me!” He had been shouting for a few minutes and Finn didn’t think he realized it. “So stop asking me to tell you how much I like you, because I’m just going to get put out with the trash again!”
“I wouldn’t do that!” Finn actually screamed, just to get his voice over Puck’s. “Damn it, Noah! I like you a lot! Both of you! I fucking told you last night while you were sleeping because I was too chicken to say it to your face! I want you, just like I want Kurt, and it’s confusing as hell, but I could manage it because I was pretty sure you felt the same!”
They were both standing, glaring at one another because how could he be so dense when Kurt spoke up.
“Is this really how you have relationship discussions? By screaming at each other and throwing out emotional confessions? Because I don’t know how long I could deal with that.”