Glee - SLL Verse - Attention Grabbing - 8/8 - R
Puck swallowed, glancing between Kurt and Finn. When had Kurt come back downstairs? How long had he been there? How much had he heard? He felt so exposed right then. He’d been holding back for weeks, trying to guard himself even while he couldn’t stop hoping for a shot at what he wanted. He’d been setting himself up for a painful failure, because when had he ever known anything else?
And, really, he hadn’t wanted or meant to tell Finn all that. But he was his best friend and Puck was hurting (and Finn should have been able to see that after fifteen years of friendship). And now Kurt was standing there, looking at them, wide eyed and irritated and saying something about not putting up with relationship discussions consisting of screaming matches and blurted confessions.
What?
“Why didn’t you guys just say something?”
“Well you were still dating that douchebag,” Finn said defensively.
“And we didn’t think you would believe us,” Puck added.
“Do you know how confused you’ve had me? Since school started, you’ve been being nicer, flirtier, and I didn’t know what to do. I was worried I was misreading some guy friend thing that I didn’t grow up knowing about because I’ve never had guy friends before. I was worried that if I did the wrong thing, reacted the wrong way, we would end up with another faggy lamp incident.” Finn opened his mouth, but Kurt kept talking. “I’m not mad about that anymore, I never really was, but I didn’t want something similar to end up happening again. But if you liked me, why didn’t you just tell me to dump him?”
“We did!” The simultaneous shout seemed to release a little tension because they all three smiled for a moment.
“Dude, how many times did we tell you he was no good?” Puck asked.
Kurt sighed. “Okay, fine. But maybe if you’d told me you liked me, I would have dumped him.” He sounded upset, which was understandable. Puck was pretty upset himself. “I’m not stupid, you know. I could see he wasn’t good for me. But he was the first, the only, boy to show me any interest and I couldn’t give that up on this confusing maybe-maybe not flirting!”
“Kurt-” Puck started, not really knowing what he was going to say but needing to say something.
“What do you guys want? Really? Because what I saw and what’s been going on and what you said… I’m just confused.”
Puck looked at Finn, who was glancing back at him. Puck wasn’t sure he could do this. He’d always been the guy to not care about what people thought (or at least try not to care) and he’d had plenty of crash-and-burn relationships, but this was different. This was the two people he cared about most in the world right then. It was Finn and Kurt. And fuck him if he wasn’t a nudge away from calling what he felt love. It was terrifying.
Luckily, Finn started speaking.
“Kurt, we want… We want to give you all we can. We want to sing sappy love songs to you and about you. To share seats at lunch and kiss you in the halls. To hold hands under the desks in class. We want that with you, both of us do. And, I don’t know for sure, but,” Finn looked at Puck again, “I think we want that with each other, too.”
They were silent for a long few minutes until Kurt started sniffling. Finn and Puck both moved forward at the same time. “What’s wrong?” Puck murmured as they put their arms around him.
“I just… I wish I’d known. I… Blaine and I were only gone a couple of hours the other night, and it was awful and I came up hoping to vent and get some comfort and I found you guys like that and all the flirting shifted and I realized that a lot of it was between you two and then I felt like I was just in the way and-”
Kurt was starting to sob at this point, and Puck was ready to freak out. He had seen Kurt cry before, but it had always only been a few tears and silent. Worse, this was because Finn and Puck had unintentionally hurt him. Together, the larger boys led Kurt to the living room and sat him down on the couch, Puck behind him with his arms around his stomach and Finn in front of him, wiping at the tears and fixing his hair.
“What happened?” Finn asked softly.
“What was so awful the other night?”
Kurt took a few deep breaths, shifting his eyes between them. “He… Blaine’s been pushing the sex issue for a couple weeks, since Sectionals. I wouldn’t that weekend, and every call since has revolved around it. When he asked me to the show that morning, he didn’t say anything about it, so I really thought he was going to let it go.”
Puck and Finn’s eyes met over Kurt’s head, both sets of dark eyes making a promise of pain if the hobbit had hurt their boy.
“Kurt, did he force you to do anything?” Finn asked softly.
“Huh?” Kurt looked up to catch their expressions. “No! No, he didn’t. I… I thought I was ready. I figured he’s my boyfriend and I’m a senior, we might as well. And since he didn’t bug me about it, I decided to go for it.”
“But…?” Puck prompted when Kurt paused for a moment.
“I… I’ve always been nervous about it. I’m not very comfortable with how I look most of the time. That’s why I’m so exact about my clothes. To hide. And Blaine knew that, which was why he hadn’t pressed so hard before. I should have noticed he wasn’t really interested in the date…
“He took me to a show I don’t even like. A show being performed by the Lima Theatre Troupe. Have you seen them perform?” he asked shakily, wiping at his face. “They’re terrible. And we were late. It was half over when we got there. We went through a burger place after, and when we were done eating, he was all over me.”
Puck could feel his anger rising, but he struggled to keep his temper in check. Kurt needed a friend to listen and comfort him right now, not a Neanderthal in search of revenge.
“When he went for my fly I stopped him. I had to tell him. I… It was embarrassing, but I really thought he would understand! That he wouldn’t care!” Kurt was crying harder again, and Puck gently rocked him, humming softly against the back of his ear. “But when I told him, he shut down!” Finn leaned forward and pulled both Kurt and Puck into a hug. “He brought me straight home and said some hurtful stuff and… At least I managed to tell him to fuck himself when I got out of the car.”
“Kurt, he’s an idiot,” Finn whispered.
“Whatever it is, we don’t care,” Puck promised softly.
“But it’s not fair! I’m not normal! I’m weird and freakish!”
“Did Blaine say that?” Puck growled.
“Yes, but that doesn’t make it untrue,” Kurt snapped.
“What was it? What did you tell him?” Finn asked, turning Kurt’s face towards him.
The smallest of them just stared, blinking, for a few moments before whispering, “I’m not… I’m not a boy.” Puck saw Finn’s eyes pop wide and felt his own eyebrows shoot up. “But, I mean, I’m not a girl, either.” Oh. Finn’s face was scrunched adorably like it always was when he was thinking hard.
“C’mon Finn,” Puck muttered. “You know this one.”
“So, you’re…an androgin?” Finn asked uncertainly. Kurt nodded.
“I know everybody kind of pretends we don’t exist, despite being as large a part of the population as everyone else, we just hide it because people don’t like it.”
To be honest, Puck was kind of turned on just by the idea of Kurt being a dro. Puck was bi, that was all there was to it. He would pretty much find sexy in anyone (meaning he’d found an affinity for both sucking cock and eating pussy, and Kurt had both). And Finn was much less body-oriented in his affections (they’d found a term at one point, pansexual, and it seemed to fit him pretty well), so Puck was pretty confident that this wouldn’t bother him either.
“That’s why we played up my being a boy when I was little. The penis was more obvious than the vagina, y’know?” Kurt was speaking softly, like he was trying to hide from his own words. “Sometimes I wish we’d gone with a girl, especially once I figured out I liked boys.”
“Kurt, if you’d been identifying as a girl, I would have gone after you years ago,” Puck whispered. “And you would have succumbed.”
“And then he would have told everybody,” Finn added. Puck shoved him.
“You won’t, right?” Kurt asked, almost fearfully.
“Of course not!” they insisted.
“Nobody knows but Dad and a couple guys at the shop.”
“Why would they know?” Finn asked.
“They’ve worked there since before I was born,” Kurt said, rolling his eyes. “They changed my diapers.”
“Oh.”
“Not even Aretha?” Puck asked.
Kurt shook his head. “As much as I love her, I can’t trust her with a secret like this. I mean, it hadn’t been ten minutes before Tina and I knew about Beth.” Kurt glanced between the boys, as if expecting a fight to break out at the mention of her, but nothing happened. They were past that now. “I’m sorry if this weirds you out,” Kurt mumbled, trying to hide his face.
“Kurt,” Puck breathed against his ear. “Kurt, that is hot. You’re not freaky, you’re amazing and beautiful.”
Finn let go of the hug to lean back a little. “Kurt, Blaine is a moron. You’re so sweet and caring and you make the most adorable face when the coffee isn’t just right in the mornings. I don’t care what’s in your pants. I care about what’s in your heart.”
Kurt swallowed, shifting slightly against Puck. “He’s right,” Puck said. “What’s between your legs doesn’t matter. I wouldn’t care if you had just one or neither. I didn’t fall for your junk, I fell for you.” Puck looked up to meet Finn’s eyes and smiled almost shyly (not that he would ever admit it). “I fell for both of you.”
Finn smiled back before cupping Kurt’s face gently. “…Could I kiss you?” Kurt nodded and Finn leaned in, pressing a soft, sweet, soulful looking kiss to Kurt. When he pulled back, Finn looked at Puck before moving in for one with him.
It was good. Different than the kisses from the other night, which were full of heated passion for the moment. This one held a promise of future passion and support and care. When they broke apart, Puck looked down to find Kurt watching them. Smirking softly, Puck swooped down and caught those lips on his own.
Kurt’s mouth was smaller than Finn’s, and softer. But there was no flavor of gloss like most girls he’d had. It was purely Kurt, and Puck couldn’t imagine it being any better.