What should be the ending of all "Rory is the Hayden heiress" fics instead of...
...long boring chapters about arranged marriage, out-of-character shopping sprees for Gucci and Prada underwear, alcoholism, sex addiction, idiotic parties with the LDB and Logan, the abrupt end to her friendships to Paris and Lane, and of course, strife with Lorelai.
Rory looked at the exceutor of the estate and shook her head. Having a good head on her shoulders and the words of those nasty people she was supposed to call her grandparents burning in her mind for years, she did the one thing that was the right thing to do.
"OK, my first act as Hayden heiress is to not take their name, give every cent except enough to pay for Yale to charity, and your duties as executor will terminate when you give the last cent when I become the leader of the foundation that will give out said charity grants. I figure I'll only take the cash for Yale, because as their personal family 'embarassment', I am soooo owed by those bastards." She squared her jaw and stared at Francine. "You really thought you could buy my love, you bitch?" She scoffed. "Please. I knew you would pull this game years ago to get me into your world. Enjoy seeing the Lorelai Gilmore I UConn Children's Medical Center I plan to pay for with your husband's blood money, along with the generous donations to Yale's journalism program, NPR, C-SPAN, and a few other organizations which encourage freedom of the press." As the executor and Francine could not say a word while she got up to walk away, she was stopped by Chris, who made a last ditch effort to change her mind.
"Rory..."
"You're a failure, Dad. I know you were counting on me to give you money from the inheritance. This is all for Christmases 1986-2001 you missed and not taking the three hours to watch my ass graduate as valedictorian because you couldn't bear to cancel a meeting for some crap sales presentation that didn't matter at all! I'm glad your dad is dead. Couldn't happen to a better man. I have no sympathy for him, and since the will is iron-clad, there's not one thing you can do to stop me. Besides, you'd fumble the money away anyways. If you were our breadwinner, we'd still be living in the fucking garden shed." One last disapproving look later, she brought her attention towards Paris, who smiled happily for standing up to the people Rory hated with all she had. She stood up, hugged Rory, and then kissed her lover deeply, enjoying the shocked stare of the evil woman she knew completely disapproved of her same sex relationship. After indulging in her favorite blonde, she decided she could handle one more expense from the Haydens.
"Actually..." Rory smiled, turning back to the executor. "Maybe you could set aside $4 million? To cover Mom's inn mortgage and maybe allow Paris, Lane, I and Mom to have a grand old time in Vegas over the holidays? I wouldn't blowing at least a few dollars on the blackjack tables." The executor nodded, knowing that the small amount was a drop in the jar and he would be giving plenty of money out to many worthy institutions that Straub never intended to dole out a dime at. Rory took Paris's hand into hers as the blonde gave her a look.
"Come on, Par. We gotta go check that paper layout. Thank God you got your trust early before the feds sucked it down because your mom has no idea she has to pay taxes." The two women left the room with three people in shock, and later, the Life & Death Brigade would find themselves disbanded due to the expected Hayden windfall never coming their way. Francine lived the rest of her life in a boring nursing home, while Christopher is selling the ShamWow with that Vince guy on TV. Meanwhile, the media is stronger thanks to the Gilmore Free Press Foundation grants (thanks to that incredibly pocket-filling Vegas trip), while that children's hospital is coming on strong.
And Rory and Paris lived happily ever after in Boston, never having to worry about anything besides their fulfilling jobs, their generous wealth and very interesting sex lives as each other's wives.
THE END.
Rory looked at the exceutor of the estate and shook her head. Having a good head on her shoulders and the words of those nasty people she was supposed to call her grandparents burning in her mind for years, she did the one thing that was the right thing to do.
"OK, my first act as Hayden heiress is to not take their name, give every cent except enough to pay for Yale to charity, and your duties as executor will terminate when you give the last cent when I become the leader of the foundation that will give out said charity grants. I figure I'll only take the cash for Yale, because as their personal family 'embarassment', I am soooo owed by those bastards." She squared her jaw and stared at Francine. "You really thought you could buy my love, you bitch?" She scoffed. "Please. I knew you would pull this game years ago to get me into your world. Enjoy seeing the Lorelai Gilmore I UConn Children's Medical Center I plan to pay for with your husband's blood money, along with the generous donations to Yale's journalism program, NPR, C-SPAN, and a few other organizations which encourage freedom of the press." As the executor and Francine could not say a word while she got up to walk away, she was stopped by Chris, who made a last ditch effort to change her mind.
"Rory..."
"You're a failure, Dad. I know you were counting on me to give you money from the inheritance. This is all for Christmases 1986-2001 you missed and not taking the three hours to watch my ass graduate as valedictorian because you couldn't bear to cancel a meeting for some crap sales presentation that didn't matter at all! I'm glad your dad is dead. Couldn't happen to a better man. I have no sympathy for him, and since the will is iron-clad, there's not one thing you can do to stop me. Besides, you'd fumble the money away anyways. If you were our breadwinner, we'd still be living in the fucking garden shed." One last disapproving look later, she brought her attention towards Paris, who smiled happily for standing up to the people Rory hated with all she had. She stood up, hugged Rory, and then kissed her lover deeply, enjoying the shocked stare of the evil woman she knew completely disapproved of her same sex relationship. After indulging in her favorite blonde, she decided she could handle one more expense from the Haydens.
"Actually..." Rory smiled, turning back to the executor. "Maybe you could set aside $4 million? To cover Mom's inn mortgage and maybe allow Paris, Lane, I and Mom to have a grand old time in Vegas over the holidays? I wouldn't blowing at least a few dollars on the blackjack tables." The executor nodded, knowing that the small amount was a drop in the jar and he would be giving plenty of money out to many worthy institutions that Straub never intended to dole out a dime at. Rory took Paris's hand into hers as the blonde gave her a look.
"Come on, Par. We gotta go check that paper layout. Thank God you got your trust early before the feds sucked it down because your mom has no idea she has to pay taxes." The two women left the room with three people in shock, and later, the Life & Death Brigade would find themselves disbanded due to the expected Hayden windfall never coming their way. Francine lived the rest of her life in a boring nursing home, while Christopher is selling the ShamWow with that Vince guy on TV. Meanwhile, the media is stronger thanks to the Gilmore Free Press Foundation grants (thanks to that incredibly pocket-filling Vegas trip), while that children's hospital is coming on strong.
And Rory and Paris lived happily ever after in Boston, never having to worry about anything besides their fulfilling jobs, their generous wealth and very interesting sex lives as each other's wives.
THE END.