Farewell

[mrsdcontent]

I'm gonna miss LJ a fuckload - it's been over 5 and a half years!
But it's become really unhealthy for me, to be fair it started that way too.
I'll miss reading everyones entries but I hope people realise it doesn't mean I don't care.
So to anyone who has noticed - bye bye :).

Comments

[cutelildeadgurl]

That's why i left online life for a while, but if you're still about on msn and facebook i'll talk to you there.

Take care, yeah? X

[endraia]

As I said in a previous comment to another entry,( which I hope ought yesterday?) I have always been reading and I will miss the insite to your life. But you must do what is best for you and if this is it then great, go for it! Take care and I wish you every success and happiness xx

[mrsdcontent]

I have sort of decided not to come back. Maybe you can help me - the reason really is that I find it incredibly hard to read about people who are still being very self-destructive - how do you deal with it? It's so close to me in time like hospital admissions were only a few months ago, as was being a really low weight, but I'm trying my hardest to get better. How can I move on when it's still in my face? I don't know.

[endraia]

It's extremely hard to move on when people around you are not. I still find it hard seeing people who are struggling, it puts me in a very weird place that is hard to escape from. My friends think I should keep away from people who haven't recovered and maybe they are right. I don't find Lj as triggering as I've no real evidence, but seeing people irl with fresh scars, low weights and who are in a state really triggers me. I would say if you are finding this place hard then keep away. You don't want to lose friends but there has to come a time when you have to ignore certain aspects of your friends lives in order to keep yourself safe. I know that being around people in distress triggers me or, if it doesn't it makes me feel incredibly guilty. I am jealous in a really unhealthy way of people still destroying themselves on a daily basis. I haven't been doing too well lately and this on top of stress and my own feelings has a lot to do with a few people I spent some time with in Edinburgh. You are doing so well in trying to get better,

[mrsdcontent]

Thank you :).
My family tell me to keep away from people who aren't recovered too, especially because two of my closest friends from Main House died and they saw what a mess it made me/felt scared that I'd be next.
I am jealous too, I wonder if it's a feeling I'll always have because it's been so ingrained in my identity.
Think I've made my mind up. Now gotta stop sneaking on here!x